So 你 want to be my friend on 脸谱 (Are 你 fucking kidding me?)

For my friend.
__________________________________________________

If 你 climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.

Talk slowly, think quickly.

Never approach a 公牛 from the front, a horse from the rear 或者 a fool from any direction.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whloe lot easier than puttin' it back.

Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone.

Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean 你 have to offer it a place to sit down.

If 你 find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Don't wake a sleepin' rattler.

Don't squat witn your spurs on.

Every trail has some puddles....

Ways to annoy people in Wal-Mart



Hilarious Ways to be annoying!















"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the 《冰雪奇缘》 食物 doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps 你 out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around 圣诞节 time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if 你 can buy a shopping cart.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Ask Someone if they know were they sell little babies!...

1. When 你 get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why 你 were speeding, tell him 你 wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend 你 are deaf.

4. If he asks if 你 knew how fast 你 were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if 你 can see his gun.

6. When he says 你 aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why 你 were speeding, tell him 你 had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him 由 his first name.

11. Pretend 你 are gay and ask...

Some of the many things the dumb 21 faced bitches say in my class i am in 年 8 yeah i 说 it 年 eight they act like deh 18 或者 sumtin most of dem will become prozies

1. oh look at us were so bad cuz we smoke weed..WTF
2. so did u 吻乐队（Kiss） 或者 snog 吻乐队（Kiss） oh ur boringgg
3. rememba my so called friend gave blahblah a blow job she was serious she told me nt 2 tell bt im tellin EVRi 1
4. i 爱情 你 i wanna be wid u 4 eva oh yh me 2 吻乐队（Kiss） kisssy... UR 12!!!
5 oh im gonna bang 你 oh come 巢穴, den, 书房 fight fight fight oh no i broke a nail oh did u im sorry friend yh 4eva bfff
7. i 迷失 my virginty ooh yh she abused...

Guy's point of view

(Here's the take on relationships from a guy's POV. NOT MINE)
From a guys point of view:

We don't care if 你 talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're 老友记 with other guys.

But when you're sitting 下一个 to us, and some 随意 guy walks into the room
 and 你 jump up and tackle him without even introducing us, yeah.

It doesn't help if 你 sit there and talk to him for ten 分钟 without
even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a
 little concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it...