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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my 列表 of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let 你 know now i got alot of these from the youtobe channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything 或者 eating anything 你 might spit it 或者 something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the 扫帚 late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the 湾 they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorite...
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Rule 1: Cardio: This one comes up in Zombieland and clearly makes alot of sense. How many fat people do 你 see at the end of the world when its zombies doing the ending?



Rule 2: Beware of Bathrooms: Really not just bathrooms any good apocalyptic zombie survivor should know better then going into a bathroom, small closet 或者 any other small room with only one way in 或者 out. Only thing stupider to go into then a bathroom is a movie theater. Lots of places to run around before 你 get eaten.



Rule 3: Seatbelts: Its a 安全 bet unless your a complete dumb dumb ( see rule #7 ) your not going to be...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked 由 his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes 首页 and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother 回复 " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad 回复 "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she 回复 "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she 回复 "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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added by DulceVida
added by bubblegum_kiss
added by kingcesar67
We hadn't always been here. But the neighborhood has. Even before it was a neighborhood on earth this one had been here. Here for those that would be 迷失 on those cursed grounds, here for those who would die long before their real life ever truly began, here for those who never really wanted to grow up.

We come from different times and we come from different lives, but one thing remains true of all of us. We lived on the earthly realm of the neighborhood at some point in our lives and died long before our time was supposed to come. We don't remember much of our lives in the cul-de-sac since...
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added by nmdis
added by LittleAngel05
Source: LittleAngel05
100: CHEEECCKPOOOINT
99: Purple Monkey Dishwasher
98: 苹果 pie... 或者 Pumkin?
97: Sit on your pockets! (Well known teacher saying)
96: mom mom mom mom mommy mommy mommmy mommmy mommy luis luis luis luis mama mama mama mama WHAT? hi.
95: Lawl
94: Baby turtles
93: 9000!!!!
92: Da da di da did did do do di da did di do!
91: MY POKEMON BRING ALL THE NERDS TO THE YARD AND THERE LIKE YA WANNA TRADE CARDS? DAM RIGHT! I WANNA TRADE CARDS I WILL TARDE YOU, BUT NOT MY CHARIZARD!
90: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeck POINT!
89: 88, 87, 86, 85...
84: Online daters are desprete.... they rely on the internt!
83: mama I pooped
82: c'mon!...
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posted by KateKicksAss
This is a bunch of the funnies FML's I've found on FML lately.
Credit: link




"Today, I went to the 电影院 with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to 加入 us. We've been together for two years. FML"


"Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy 或者 a girl. FML"

"Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the...
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posted by Insane4ever
This is a 列表 of 随意 10 things that just make me seem like an idiot...b4 u start 阅读 them....sry for all the typing mistakes il make.....if i make them.....ok just read....

1.i walk into walls often
2.i crash my bike into buildings all the time
3.i try to get high 由 eating peanuts
4.i sometimes walk into the same 墙 right after i walk into it the 1st time!!!
5.i poke my own eye
6.i say "peanut is a mooooo" wery often
7.i trip on flat surfaces
8.i walk into trees 2
8b.ok i walk into anything solid
9.i trip 60% of the time im getting out of the bus
10.my life dream is to eat a giant pizza.....n then throw it up on someone i hate

thank 你 for your time il be sure 2 make 更多 lists of my fatal retard-ness 或者 how ever....i hope u had a good laugh.....so bye n 花生 is a mooooo!!!
Well, this is what happenes when I get bored...I put a message through every language in Babel 鱼 and see what I get...and some of the results are really funny. I tried this one to see just how unreliable Babel 鱼 could be...

Original Message:
I would like to conduct a 搜索 as to how accurate this translator is. As instructed, I have used grammatically sound language and correct spelling. I will put this message through every language inside the translator and see how the final message varies from the original one. If the results turn out as expected, some words will be literally “lost...
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added by Crazedsitcomfan
I don't know why I'm bothering, nobody's gonna read it probably.. But after watching the famishly bad Nostalgia Critic review, and just how much Doug was missing the point, I wanted to make my own opinions on it.. I would call it a review, but this isn't rating the film as much as giving my personal opinions about it.. I'm not the first, there are many analyze 视频 on YouTube, it's been studied to death like The Shining.. So mine is a lot 更多 simplified..

So I'll admit I wasn't always a huge 粉, 粉色 Floyd 粉丝 before this album. Obviously I do 爱情 them now.. The 墙 really made a 粉, 粉色 Floyd...
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posted by craig3606
 The 狼 Pack
The Wolf Pack
In Africa there has been a experiment on 狼 being transitioned to living in the jungle. There has been some 狼 that have been shot with a vaccine from when they were cubs and then released into the Wild as they became older. The vaccine was designed to make the 狼 body temperature withstand Africa’s. Stryder, Winter and Kron was left behind with five cubs after the Hyenas attacked their pack, Bitow, Dex, Gomah, Stray and including Stryder and Winter’s own cub Rosey. Stryder was the Alpha and Winter was the Omaga. If it wasn’t for the Elephants interrupting the fight none of...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
(Ooooh)
Na-na

Yeah

I saw 你 dancing in a crowded room
You look so happy when i'm not with you
But then 你 saw me, caught 你 由 surprise
A single teardrop falling from your eye

I don't why i run away
I'll make 你 cry when i run away

You could've asked me why i broke your heart
You could've told me that 你 fell apart
But 你 walked past me like i wasn't there
And just pretended like 你 didn't care

I don't know why i run away
I'll make 你 cry when i run away

Take me back 'cause i wanna stay
Save your tears for another

Save your tears for another day
Save your tears for another day

So, i made 你 think that...
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 Elijah Jones "Razilee and Elijah" need fixing
Elijah Jones "Razilee and Elijah" need fixing
Though displaced 由 fusion. Elijah Jones and his 最近的 album "Beautiful Insanity" deceives the art of true kindness and blames others for judging while feelings guilty of judgement. Elijah Jones isn't the once thoughtful artist we once knew back in 2017. He has manipulated to trick us in thinking he is kind and nice!! He sucks!! His 音乐 album and his documentaries are horrible and does not teach any valuable lesson as expressed! Why does many favor him and his followers?

Three good reasons...

Beautiful Insanity FAILS to deliver the message behind judgement.

Razilee and Elijah Part 2 doesn't...
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Episode 1;

Roman: (meets Niko at the 船, 小船 stop).

Niko: (stressed) What took 你 so long!

Roman: Sorry.. I was at a party.. But anyway.. (singing) Welcome, home, Cousin. 你 know that, I missed ye-

Niko: [Off-Screen] NO! [On-Screen] NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR 你 SING!

----------------------------------------------------------

Roman is driving them too the apartment, though he's driving very slowly, much to Niko's anger.

Roman: Do 你 think Mallorie's mad at me?

Niko: Because you're in the right lane behind a bus and 你 won't go around it? (sarcastically) No, I'm sure she finds it charming.

Roman: No,...
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