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posted by Jekyde
Pretend 你 are two people.

The first, (we'll call them "J") is a good person. They are intelligent, popular, and is a respected member of the community. J can almost always tell right from wrong and deeply cares about others. A role model for young children, and for some adults as well, they are at the top. Truthful and social, they shall always be loved.


The second, (let's call them "H") is the exact opposite. They are not the brightest, infamous, and deeply feared 由 all who sees them. H will do whatever they think is right from a single glance and often jumps to conclusions. Twisted and cruel, H commits murder at least once a week, even over the tiniest little things. Yet they never get found 由 the law.


Now let's say 你 are "J". Every night 你 retire to your 台, 办公桌 and do little experiments. But the 秒 the sun sinks under the horizon, 你 turn into "H" and commit mass murder. When the sun rises again, 你 know 你 have caused a stir in your town. The guilt builds inside you, getting worse and worse.

Sounds terrible, right? But the person I have just described is the one who happens to be 写作 down these words at this very moment.

Me.


Before 你 ask anything, I'm afraid this letter is coming to an end. The sky is beginning to darken...

Henry Jekyll
posted by milorox18
1. I 爱情 the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I 爱情 the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I 爱情 the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I 爱情 the way 你 look at me.

5. I 爱情 how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I 爱情 the way I can’t imagine a 日 without 你 in my life.

7. I 爱情 the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I 爱情 the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I 爱情 the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I 爱情 how I know you’ll always be there when I need 你 to be.

11....
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1. Angus is for a beefy yet cute boyfriend, 或者 to bolster up the woefully sagging self-esteem of a weak, pasty face limb noodle who does your homework for you.

2. Babe - is a classic cute boyfriend nickname that will only get 你 in a slight amount of trouble in front of his friends. ( i call mine this)

3. Baby Boo Boo - is for a boyfriend that you'd like to castrate slowly 由 giving him effeminate names.

4. Bunny-kins - means you're cousins and will be humping like bunnies at the 下一个 family wedding.

5. Bunny Wabbit - 你 may as well stroke his belly with a coonskin 帽 and feed him grapes when...
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DEMENTED POEMS

玫瑰 are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

玫瑰 are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

玫瑰 are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And 显示 me your tits

玫瑰 make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And 你 爱情 it up the shitter

玫瑰 are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

玫瑰 are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

玫瑰 are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

玫瑰 are shit
Violets are crap
显示 me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

玫瑰 are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And 吞, 燕子 it down

玫瑰 are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers 你 know.
12.Strangers 你 don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to 删除 above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
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posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar 你 grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something 或者 someone

3. Go up to a 随意 person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki 随意 noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a 喷泉 run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to 你 in public about the...
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1. At the movies: When 你 meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are 你 doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t 你 try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When 你 ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while 以前 and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask 你 somethingand i want 你 to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how 你 feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want 你 to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi 或者 Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
I found this hilarious 文章 on pcworld.com
Don't know who the 作者 is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's 锦标 Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my...
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added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: 谷歌
posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a 密码 other than "password" 或者 "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits 下一个 to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be 更多 imaginative.

I will not bore my boss 由 with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some 更多 excuses.

I will do less laundry and use 更多 deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
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added by Juilet1234
posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did 你 get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A 企鹅 rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four 问题 to determine the level of your intellect. Your 回复 must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating 或者 wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: 你 are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in 秒 place.
In which position are 你 now?

Answer:

If 你 answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. 你 overtook the 秒 runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the 下一个 问题 try not to be so dumb.

2 : If 你 overtake the last...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked 由 his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes 首页 and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother 回复 " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad 回复 "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she 回复 "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she 回复 "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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posted by invadercalliope
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? 你 know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let 你 go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are 你 enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."

Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."

Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling 你 how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."

Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
What's your personality type?

Picks/Polls
link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link
link

(E) Extrovert
-Tend to focus on the outer world of people and the external environment
-Like variety and action
-Often impatient with long, slow jobs
-Are interested in the activities of their work and in how other people do it
-Often act quickly, sometimes without thinking
-Develop ideas 由 discussion
-Like to learn new task 由 talking it through with someone
-Need to experience the world in order to understand it and thus tend to like action

(I) Introverts
-Focus 更多 on their own inner world,...
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Okay so if 你 live on the eastcoast u are probably getting used to the snow..........so even if u aren't, everybody has the problem of having nothing to do when it snows but sled. So these are a few of the things that i enjoy to do.........hehe!

1. Fill balloons with water. Then leave them outside overnight.............yeah i'm this stupid. The 下一个 day, cut the balloons off and 你 got.........AN ICE BALL!! (i usually make like 15) Then use them to pay dodgeball. This is especially fun to do in deep snow, when 你 can barely 移动 as it is. Technically, u could use them to do various things,...
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video
josh groban
polar express
随意
added by AnimeFan66
Source: Animefan66
added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr