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The best mistake We ever made
Earth 日 2011
By: moolah
Chapter One: Truth
    Kaylynn looked over at her boyfriend, Beck. She’d just dropped a huge bombshell. She was pregnant. They were teenagers. They’d only been together for about 6 months. And had fallen in love. They’d had sex…and she went to the doctor because she had the “flu”. She’d found out, that it wasn’t the flu, she made him his 最喜爱的 meal-Mashed Potatoes and 玉米 卤, 肉汁 and a 牛扒, 牛排 with thick 卤, 肉汁 over it as well. Oh, and an 苹果 Pie with his 最喜爱的 ice cream, Nutshell 花生 butter. Then,...
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posted by RoCkInGAnGeLxX
Health:
Drink plenty of water.

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and 晚餐 like a beggar.

Eat 更多 foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less 食物 that is manufactured in plants.

Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy

Play 更多 games.

Read 更多 图书 than 你 did in 2010.

Sit in silence for at least 10 分钟 each day.

Sleep for 7 hours.

Take a 10-30 分钟 walk daily. And while 你 walk, smile.


Personality:
Don’t compare your life to others. 你 have no idea what their journey is all about
.
Don’t have negative thoughts 或者 things 你 cannot control. Instead invest...
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posted by yukikiyruu
Observation:

Guys never notice differences in their friend's appearance unless the difference is too obvious (like a very poor haircut that leaves the scalp like a partially mowed lawn). But with girls, it's not the case... Try walking to your friend who is a girl (the phrase girl friend avoided for obvious reasons) with a small stain on your 衬衫 which is usually unnoticeable. Chances are that 你 would get caught within the first couple of minutes.

Care:

Guys try their best to be caring but come on... they are not designed for that! Girls often tend to care 更多 than what 你 want them to and...
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Are 你 saying that I'm not good enough for Jack-in-the-Box?
Hey dad, are there any openings at your office?
I'm converting!
I'm coming out of the closet! Just kidding...hello? hello, anyone there?
I don't know, I think a nipple ring is very fashion conscience.
Who are 你 again?
Mom, 你 too can be saved.
I need 更多 money for my gambling ring.
Hold on a second, I have to get rid of the body.
Have 你 ever tried Vivarin! I mean a lot of it at once! It's amazing. I wrote two papers, memorized the Spanish to English dictionary, made sis a sweater, invented a new way to dry laundry, and I- my, my heart.....
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    Stand on 最佳, 返回页首 of the high board and say 你 won't come down until your demands are met.

•    Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because 你 have seen at least 15 people drown today.

•    Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.

•    Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.

•    Take a flutter board and pretend 你 can't swim.

•     Hit strangers with your flutter board.

•    Ask an attractive lifeguard to practise...
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I know I've been going on about this a lot lately, but I want to challenge every single one of 你 to try and start a chain reaction of kindness. I've recently had a Rachel's Challenge assembly at my school. We have one every few years. But this time, we had new material that really inspired me to begin my own chain reaction. Rachel's Challenge involves five challenges:
1. Look for the best in people
2. Dream big
3. Choose positive influences
4. Speak with kindness
5. Start your own chain reaction

Accepting and achieving these challenges isn't a hard thing to do if 你 really decide to try. Showing...
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posted by jeniffer2200
If 你 have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, 你 have $1.19. 你 also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the 林肯 Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest 随意 speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once...
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posted by smileypop9
Found this on www.funny.com. That site has so much funny stuff...lol


Women's English:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious 由 now.
Do what 你 want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want 你 to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, 你 moron!
You're so manly = 你 need a shave and 你 sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all 你 ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This 厨房 is so inconvenient...
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posted by CUTEDXC
this is a true story about my life
(cj is my crush kara grace chloe ra'janir and rockstar23456 are my friends)

kara-ok amber (amber is me CUTEDXC)dont get mad at me but CJ sent me a 糖果 gram

me-WHAT!?!?!?! :o

grace-oh crap...HEY HOLD AMBER BACK

me-*start to chase kara while ra'janir and grace hold me back*

LATER

grace-why did u sent kara a 糖果 gram?

cj-cuz i like her

grace-*comes and tells me* umm...amber cj likes kara

me-...*drops books*...WHAT!?!?!?!?!

LATER me chloe grace and rockstar23455 are walking up the stairs

chloe-OK CJ DOES NOT LIKE KARA

cj is behind her when she 说 that

me-omg *runs...
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posted by shutyourface
i think

that 羊 are the best animal in the world
and
香蕉 are the best 水果
and
all vegetables are crap
and
clouds are better than smoke
and
fireworks are............um..........good?
and
a 羊 should eat a 香蕉 what then says
"VEGETABLES ARE CRAP!"
and then say
"i 爱情 clouds but SMOKE IS CRAP!"



















i think

Justin Bieber is the worst thing that ever

i mean ever

happened to the 音乐 business
and
lady gaga is the best thing what ever happened
to the 音乐 business
and
羊 should be able to eat people so that it can over populate the earth



SO WRITE A 评论 AND BECOME A 粉丝 OF ME
MY ARTICLE
AND WRITE A 评论

YA GET ME???!!!

:)
posted by TOTALIzzyluver
Gwen ran through the park. Her closet friend Annie had been kidnapped 由 the 比萨, 比萨饼 Monster. She heard a scream in the distance. It was Annie's scream the same scream she heard that 日 they went to rider roller coasters at a local theme park. Suddenly Gwen heard giggling. The giggling belonged to one Annie Armstrong, the funniest person she knows and the best at drawing beavers during social studies. Annie was lying on the ground with a park bench lying on 最佳, 返回页首 of her.
"Annie! Are 你 okay?" Gwen asked. "Don't worry Kathy, I'm as flippy as the 下一个 hamburger!" Annie called out. "what?" "How...
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100: CHEEECCKPOOOINT
99: Purple Monkey Dishwasher
98: 苹果 pie... 或者 Pumkin?
97: Sit on your pockets! (Well known teacher saying)
96: mom mom mom mom mommy mommy mommmy mommmy mommy luis luis luis luis mama mama mama mama WHAT? hi.
95: Lawl
94: Baby turtles
93: 9000!!!!
92: Da da di da did did do do di da did di do!
91: MY POKEMON BRING ALL THE NERDS TO THE YARD AND THERE LIKE YA WANNA TRADE CARDS? DAM RIGHT! I WANNA TRADE CARDS I WILL TARDE YOU, BUT NOT MY CHARIZARD!
90: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeck POINT!
89: 88, 87, 86, 85...
84: Online daters are desprete.... they rely on the internt!
83: mama I pooped
82: c'mon!...
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starting from a text from me
july 13, 3.02 pm
[i] 嘿 how was school"

3.03pm
Gay, yours?"

3.16om
"haha, yeah same"

3.22pm
"Since 你 carnt do webcam, 你 send me a pic;)"

3.22pm
"say that again and your gone"

3.23pm
"send me a pic"

3.48pm
"Fuck off, no respect for me"

3.50pm
"your just to serious"

3.52pm
No, i just have respect for myself, 你 need to get that i dont live the please you. I dont appricate 你 asking that of me."


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mat'e says:
sook
Katii xD says:
fuck off. alright ive had enought of 你 treating...
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posted by karpach_14
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 秒 AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The 下一个 morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her 长袍 and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.
posted by Midnight__Sun
Why is it that when someone tells 你 that there are over a billion stars in the universe, 你 believe them, but if there is a 'wet paint' sign somewhere, 你 have to touch it to make sure?

In case 你 needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:



1. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)


2. On a bag of Fritos -- 你 could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?


3. On some Swanson 《冰雪奇缘》 dinners -- "Serving suggestion:...
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1) I can't reach my license unless 你 hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2) Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3) Aren't 你 the guy from the Village People?

4) Hey, 你 must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5) Are 你 Andy 或者 Barney?

6) I thought 你 had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer

7) You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8) I pay your salary!

9) Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10) Do 你 know why 你 pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11)...
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posted by Wendy99
LITTLE TONY FROM BROOKLYN ON MATH

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and 你 shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a 问题 for YOU."

"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The 秒 is gobbling down the 最佳, 返回页首 and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the 最佳, 返回页首 of the ice cream....
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France
Honhonhon! Bonjour English man! Grow a real dick and don't fuck with Peter Pan! I'm Francis Bonnefoy and everyone loves me! 你 call me a wanker, cause mine is the biggest! Fuck off with your kid brother, cause USUK surely hits it!

Britain
SHUT UP! 你 DAMN FROG FACE! The fact that your on the same continent is a disgrace! All 你 are is a bloody wanker, my rhymes hit hard, like Captain Hook's anchor! Your just a bloody whore, I can't stand your face no more, your such a prick! Even Sealand has 更多 dick! I have an army of Red Coats! 你 have shitty little boats! Waiting till the last minute?...
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Whoa, time out. Football is on.
Sorry. I was just picturing 你 naked.
Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?
Don't 你 have some laundry to do 或者 something?
你 are so cute when 你 get mad.
You're just upset because your bottom is beginning to spread.
Wait a 分钟 - I get it. What time of the 月 is it?
你 sure 你 don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?
Looks like someone had an extra bowl of 婊子, 子 flakes this morning!
Who are 你 kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded.
posted by EminemAddict09
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that 你 "like it that way".
Drum on every available surface.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Set alarms for 随意 times.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with 老友记 in public entirely of "Beeeep Bip...
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