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posted by IsabellaMCullen
1. Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make 爱情 with you.


2. Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until 你 find your
contact lens.


3. 冲床 the body and tell people that he hit 你 first.


4. Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.


5. Ask someone to take a snapshot of 你 shaking hands with the deceased.


6. At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.


7. Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.


8. Ask the widow to give 你 a kiss.


9. Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.


10. Tell the undertaker that your...
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While shaking hands get into a heated thumb wrestling match.
Repeat everything your interviewer says, keep going until he 或者 she yells at you. Then ask if 你 got the job.
Stick a piece of 西兰花 between your front teeth, smile a lot.
Sometime during the interview, frown and sniff suspiciously, ask the boss if he 或者 she farted.
Pick your nose and wipe contents underneath the lip of your interviewers desk.
Bring in whoopie cushion, set it off, roll your eyes and look at your interviewer with disgust.
In the beginning of the interview pull out a gun and put it on the interviewer’s 台, 办公桌 in front...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


A fleet of Rebel ships were close to the planet of Sullust. Inside one of the Mon Calamari ships, pilots were preparing their X-Wings. Other ships were carrying Y-Wings, and A-Wings.

Wedge: *Gives a high five to a Y-Wing* We're gonna do just fine.
Y-Wing Pilot: I copy red leader.

They both chuckled, and looked at a pilot in green.

Y-Wing Pilot: Must be one of the pilots for the new A-Wing.
Green-7: Hey. Ready to go?
Wedge: Yeah, 你 let me know how those A-Wings are. I might try one myself.
Green-7: Will do....
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of the sympathetic "stick it out and be tough"

I abhor the person who 说 the line
"don't worry honey everything'll be fine"

Beware to the person who comes my way
saying "tomorrow will be a better day"

I wish I could meet the person who made
that all around classic "don't be afraid"

Can 你 understand what these lines do!
nothing, that's my point of view

People get sick of the same old stuff
not everyone is your definition of "tough"

These lines are a way to justify means
that we've done our part as human beings

Some people think "oh they're fine"
after the end of your clever little line

but do 你 understand...
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I was too, then I took 15 分钟 to pay attention to a video that explained in black and white exactly what is going on.

In short it's utter bullshit. Now if 你 think this is simply an American phenomena you're mistaken. Sadly enough. This bill will allow the government to extract those who violate it from their country(I.E Like they're doing to a British student Richard O'Dwyer: 谷歌 it) to be tried on American soil.

For linking to a song.

Now before I get in too deep I'll just outline it plain and simple.

Music downloads-GONE
Video streaming(youtube anyone?)-GONE
Manga hosting sites(Yes, this...
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posted by wolfgirl985
Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan...
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posted by sweetangel222
1- beat your sister below.

2- shout at your computer "you're stupid".

3- paint your room 墙 with black one.

4- switch on and off the lamp many times.

5- put your rubbish 下一个 to your neighbours door.


Lollllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!

6- dress up your mom clothes and sunglasses.

7- snooze in your dad hair.

8- take your brother below and hide it.

9- iron your sister clothes and let them burn.

10- hold your breathe.

It's my own article

they are my ideas
wait 更多 I'll write more
posted by jessicamc26
A wife arrived 首页 and found her husband in 床, 床上 with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged him out of the house, into the tool shed in their back yard and put his penis in a vice. Securing it tightly and removing the handle of the vice, she then picked up a hacksaw. Terrified, her husband screamed, "Stop! Please! 你 aren't going to cut it off, are you?" Placing the saw in her husband's hand and with a gleam of revenge in her eye, the wife replied, "Of course not! I'm going to set 火, 消防 to the shed. 你 do whatever 你 have to do!"
posted by Mephadowfangirl
Let's imagine. You, a regular fanpopper, decides to go and hang out at your 最喜爱的 spot, hoping to post some 视频 and pictures, answer 问题 and discuss in the forums, maybe even write an 文章 或者 two. 你 get to the spot, and found that some idiot has completely bombarded everything on the spot with insults, flames, bashes, and content that goes against the topic of the spot.

You are outraged and frustrated, desperately trying to hurl every thing you've got at this person, but only getting 回复 such as "you suck for liking this" 或者 "I can say whatever I like because I'm entitled...
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1.Guys HATE sluts.(unless they are one themselves)

2."Hey are u busey?" 或者 "Are 你 doing something later?" are two phrases to help prevent awkward silences.

3.Guys may be flirting around all 日 long but before they go to sleep they always think of the girls they truely care about.

4. Before guys call u they reherse what they are about to say so that way they dont sound like a total looser. (But 9 times out of 10 they get nervous when u pick up the phone and forget it all)

5. Guys go CRAZY over a girls smile.

6.Guys will do anything just to get attention from 你 girls.

7.Guys hate it when u talk...
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posted by emisa123
1. When in a public place, randomly shout "I TOLD 你 TO STAY OFF DRUGS!" See what he/she does.

2. When your 老友记 is trying to tell 你 something important, grab a bag of Doritos and start eating them furiously.

3. When 你 老友记 is trying to have a conversation with you, yell out "I 爱情 YOU, TOO!" Repeat every few minutes.

4. If 你 go to a McDonalds with your friends, when its time to order, randomly yell out "IT'S RONALD 麦当劳 RETARDED PURPLE FRIEND!" Then go hug a 随意 stranger.

5. When your friend is wearing a new white shirt, cover your hands with that 橙子, 橙色 dust 你 get on...
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posted by izzzyroxmysocks
HELLO if 你 dont know me im izzyroxmysocks. if 你 do know me good 4 u!
i got this idea from lydiascats and im not a copyer.
things i hate
--------------
hannah montana
meatlaof
the color green
my glasses
worms
homework
musicteletunes(youtube)
ect.

things i like
--------------
粉丝 pop
surfing the web
spagetti
the #74
the color blue
浓情巧克力 milk
daisy(my dog)
cooking
tdi
ect.
now i will put 随意 sentances!!!!
my homework iz cooking spagetti cause 浓情巧克力 牛奶 iz blue!!!!!!
i punched hannah montana cause her meatloaf was surfing the web with my green dog daisy!
musicteletunes eat 74 worms because my tdi glasses were made on 粉丝 pop!!
bye-bye!!!: )
ps thats my 老友记 in pennsylvania
 my cousin,my friend, two twins, and annoying little brat
my cousin,my friend, two twins, and annoying little brat
posted by LadyL68
1.Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.

2.Guys hate other flirts.

3.A guy can like 你 for a minute, and then forget 你 afterwards.

4.When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.

5.Are 你 doing something?” 或者 “Have 你 eaten already?” are the first usual 问题 a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

6.Guys may be flirting around all 日 but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

7.When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard...
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posted by CullenProperty
If you’re going to get drunk, don’t drive.
If your going to have sex, don’t get pregnant.
If your going to throw a party, don‘t let your neighbors hear your music.
If your going to steal something, don’t get caught.
If your going to make love, make it passionately.
If your going to lie, make sure your good at it.
If your going to cheat on your boyfriend, make sure it‘s not with one of his friends, but if 你 want to get back at your boyfriend, do make sure it’s with one of his friends!
If your going to stab your friend in the back, make sure she’s not looking.
If your going to...
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KISS, KISS, KISS! What could be 说 about the band 吻乐队(Kiss) that hasn’t been said? They were insanely popular, had a recognizable image, Gene Simmons is a hack and I will probably hear from his lawyers for slander because he is that desperate to be acknowledged. But the point is, 吻乐队(Kiss) was crazy 流行的 and had merch all over the place. Toys, lighters, and crossovers galore. I was familiar with the music, mostly the songs from Tony Hawk’s Underground. Fucking Scooby-Doo had a crossover with them for some reason. So, naturally, a video game was expected to be in the works at some point. So,...
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posted by Bluekait
Chapter 1 - Starting Off Beautifully

Years after the Phantom's death, Christine and Raoul gotten married and have a beautiful daughter named Crystal. When the Opera House burnt down, the whole town went to work to restore it. Strangely, only Christine's room was the only room that has not burnt down. Crystal's mother always told her the story of the Phantom and how he'd loved her when Crystal was a small child. He probably still alive and used his magic to protect his lair and her room from the fire. Crystal is now 16 years old and loves the Phantom story still. One night, Crystal and her parents...
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So, Tenkai Knights: 《勇敢传说》 Battle, a game on the 3DS that was forgotten about, even 由 enthusiasts of bad video games, like myself, probably for reasons that it deserves. And yes, I am stretching this out as much as I can because I have no idea what Tenkai Knights is. Unlike Deal 或者 No Deal, which I had a vague understanding of, I never watched the show, Tenkai Knights. I can’t make jokes about that. But I what I can make jokes about is that Tenkai Knights: 《勇敢传说》 Battle is a fighting game that was developed 由 Bandai Namco, the same studio that brought us 《铁拳》 and SoulCalibur, some of the...
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posted by xxXsk8trXxx
Abbaye de Belloc
Abbaye de Citeaux
Abbaye du Mont des 猫
Abertam
Abondance
Acapella
Ackawi
Acorn
Adelost
Affidelice au Chablis
Afuega'l Pitu
Airag
Airedale
Aisy Cendre
Allgauer Emmentaler
Alverca
Ambert
American Cheese
Ami du Chambertin
Anejo Enchilado
Anneau du Vic-Bilh
Anthoriro
Appenzell
Aragon
Ardi Gasna
Ardrahan
Armenian String
Aromes au Gene de Marc
Asadero
Asiago
Aubisque Pyrenees
Autun
Avaxtskyr
Baby Swiss
Babybel
Baguette Laonnaise
Bakers
Baladi
Balaton
Bandal
Banon
Barry's 湾 Cheddar
Basing
Basket Cheese
Bath Cheese
Bavarian Bergkase
Baylough
Beaufort
Beauvoorde
Beenleigh Blue...
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posted by ShadowFan100
Well, here's another chance to get to know Shadowfan100....

First off, I've been drastically depressed and it's getting to the point where I'm tired of having only my own thoughts to keep me from killing myself.

"But why are 你 so depressed, Shadow? There's a lot to be happy about!"

That's what some of 你 may reply back to me, but that won't make my problems go away that easily.

It's just that.... what really is the point of it all? What's the point of living here in this hellish nightmare? This world is filled with so much evil...

We got: murder, rape, greedy butt-holes, starving people, and...
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The Best Town in the World Has a Fall Festival
Every 年 my town, Ashley ville hosts the Fall Festival of 南瓜 pies. It's a really fun time. Everyone comes to the Simon Baker Park to play games, eat delicious food, see all the animals, and talk in the last of the silly weather. My 最喜爱的 booth is the one that serves fried chairs on a stick!

This year, the Festival was extra special because there was a surprise guest; Katy Perry came to play on the Ashley ville Stage! It was the best 音乐会 ever. While Katy Perry played, 13 geese sang along. But that wasn't half as amazing as the fact that the geese sang better than Katy Perry. At the awards ceremony that evening, all of the geese won blue ribbons for their singing. It was the best Fall Festival ever!