“Yes, I am,” I 说 calmly. I felt sick to my stomach even as I 说 it.
“Why?” asked Grey as if it were not obvious.
“I 爱情 him,” I said.
“I thought 你 loved me,” she said, tears in her eyes. Although I saw tears, I also saw hate and fire.
“You were mistaken,” I said, it was cruel, but true. I loved Alexander 更多 than her.
“Why don’t 你 爱情 me?” she asked.
“You raped me, and I married 你 only because the baby,” I said. “Then I stayed with you, because I thought 你 would get your dad to tell the psychiatric board I wasn’t ready for the job.”
“Wait…What baby?” Grey asked her brow furrowed.
“The baby…You got pregnant the night 你 raped me. 你 had a miscarriage, remember?” she had to remember, right? Maybe she had repressed it, but it wasn’t like her to repress things. That was 更多 my style.
“Oh my God,” Grey laughed, and shook her head. “You really fell for that?”
“Fell for what?”
“I lied to you. I was never pregnant. I told 你 a lie, and I knew 你 would marry me. 你 would never let a child suffer,” 说 Grey. Something inside me broke. It was one thing to lie, but it was another thing to lie about a child.
“How dare you…You’re such a bitch, a selfish, hateful bitch,” I spat. I tried organizing words in my mind. It wasn’t working.
“I didn’t know any other way,” she 说 coolly.
“Why did 你 want me anyway? Was it not obvious enough that I was gay? You’ve kept me in misery for years,” I said.
“I wanted you, because 你 were sexy. We would be all the rage, and I wanted that. I knew 你 were gay, but I thought I could turn you…I was wrong,” she 说 her head down.
“Yes, 你 were wrong; because of 你 I have been stressed. All I’ve wanted was Alexander, but no, I couldn’t have him. I was with you, and 你 kept me on such a tight leash Grey,” I said, furious. “I was ready to commit suicide, and it was all your fault.”
“Damien, I’m sorry,” Grey said, but it was not sincere.
“No 你 aren’t,” I walked up the stairs she trailed behind me.
“Damn it Damien, you’re such a bastard! How do 你 know what I feel? Why do 你 do blame me? It’s your own fault! I never 说 that 你 couldn’t leave me,” she said.
“You implied it. The way 你 would talk about me, how 你 treated me. I am your toy! That’s it, and if I would’ve left, my career would be over,” I said. Grey had a look on her face, she knew I was right.
“Leave, now,” she 说 sternly.
“I will,” I took my suitcase out of the closet and walked out of the house. I was furious I had to calm down. I would never go back…Never…
“Why?” asked Grey as if it were not obvious.
“I 爱情 him,” I said.
“I thought 你 loved me,” she said, tears in her eyes. Although I saw tears, I also saw hate and fire.
“You were mistaken,” I said, it was cruel, but true. I loved Alexander 更多 than her.
“Why don’t 你 爱情 me?” she asked.
“You raped me, and I married 你 only because the baby,” I said. “Then I stayed with you, because I thought 你 would get your dad to tell the psychiatric board I wasn’t ready for the job.”
“Wait…What baby?” Grey asked her brow furrowed.
“The baby…You got pregnant the night 你 raped me. 你 had a miscarriage, remember?” she had to remember, right? Maybe she had repressed it, but it wasn’t like her to repress things. That was 更多 my style.
“Oh my God,” Grey laughed, and shook her head. “You really fell for that?”
“Fell for what?”
“I lied to you. I was never pregnant. I told 你 a lie, and I knew 你 would marry me. 你 would never let a child suffer,” 说 Grey. Something inside me broke. It was one thing to lie, but it was another thing to lie about a child.
“How dare you…You’re such a bitch, a selfish, hateful bitch,” I spat. I tried organizing words in my mind. It wasn’t working.
“I didn’t know any other way,” she 说 coolly.
“Why did 你 want me anyway? Was it not obvious enough that I was gay? You’ve kept me in misery for years,” I said.
“I wanted you, because 你 were sexy. We would be all the rage, and I wanted that. I knew 你 were gay, but I thought I could turn you…I was wrong,” she 说 her head down.
“Yes, 你 were wrong; because of 你 I have been stressed. All I’ve wanted was Alexander, but no, I couldn’t have him. I was with you, and 你 kept me on such a tight leash Grey,” I said, furious. “I was ready to commit suicide, and it was all your fault.”
“Damien, I’m sorry,” Grey said, but it was not sincere.
“No 你 aren’t,” I walked up the stairs she trailed behind me.
“Damn it Damien, you’re such a bastard! How do 你 know what I feel? Why do 你 do blame me? It’s your own fault! I never 说 that 你 couldn’t leave me,” she said.
“You implied it. The way 你 would talk about me, how 你 treated me. I am your toy! That’s it, and if I would’ve left, my career would be over,” I said. Grey had a look on her face, she knew I was right.
“Leave, now,” she 说 sternly.
“I will,” I took my suitcase out of the closet and walked out of the house. I was furious I had to calm down. I would never go back…Never…
The pain 你 caused isn't what scarred me
The burning tears 你 left me to shed isn't what burned me
Your last words aren't what hindered me
It was the Legend.
That endless struggle to win
To fight back
To not toss and turn in my bed
That secure feeling I had before you
To feel as a sharp as a pencil lead
Now that loneliness I feel without you
A constant reminder
Feeling my 心 beat again
Done with the breathtaking moments
And the heart-skipping kisses
To breathe again
Over and Done with
It wasn't those tears
It wasn't those words
It wasn't all that pain 你 left me to bare.
It wasn't the legend 你 were when 你 were here
But the legacy in my 心 that 你 left!
The burning tears 你 left me to shed isn't what burned me
Your last words aren't what hindered me
It was the Legend.
That endless struggle to win
To fight back
To not toss and turn in my bed
That secure feeling I had before you
To feel as a sharp as a pencil lead
Now that loneliness I feel without you
A constant reminder
Feeling my 心 beat again
Done with the breathtaking moments
And the heart-skipping kisses
To breathe again
Over and Done with
It wasn't those tears
It wasn't those words
It wasn't all that pain 你 left me to bare.
It wasn't the legend 你 were when 你 were here
But the legacy in my 心 that 你 left!
There I was. *sigh* Just sitting there, waiting for him. Who? 你 ask? My crush, Patrick Wellsiben, he was the one for me. Let alone, him being THE most 流行的 boy in school, I was known as a loser. I was the omega of the 狼 pack. What am I talking about? Nevermind. My conscience says "Ask him out!", but my guts say "Don't do it you! He's gonna say no!" I don't know what to do! He comes near me and says "Hey." I stand there like a scarecrow smiling. "I feel stupid." "So stupid." Why shouldn't I get the attention from populars? I have short, thick black hair, I wear tank tops all the time, regular jeans and converse. So much for fitting in.
It's Funny, I Use To Be Popular. At First Some People Loved Me And Others Hated Me. Now Everyone Hates Me. Even My Old Best Friends. 你 See, I Always Found A Flaw In Everyone And Used It To Hurt Them. Not Physicly Hurt. I Made Them Feel Horrible About Them Selves. I Was The Reason 你 Cried On The Way Home. The Reason 你 Fake Sicked. Of Course Karma Came And Hit Me Like A Ton Of Bricks. I Try Hard To Be Nice, But No One At School Pays Attention To Me. Except Teachers. I Even Tried Sitting With My Old Friends.
"Hey, Guys!" I Said
"What Are 你 Doing Here?" 说 Lexi Illing
"I Just Wanted To Sit With You."
"Well, Their's No Room"
"Yeah, Right There." I 说 Pointing To The Empty Chair At The End.
"Well," 说 Victoria Khan Placing Her 图书 On The Seat. "Now It's Taken."
Everyone Laughed. Except Me Of Course. I Just Walked Away. Wishing, I Had Never Been So Cruel.
"Hey, Guys!" I Said
"What Are 你 Doing Here?" 说 Lexi Illing
"I Just Wanted To Sit With You."
"Well, Their's No Room"
"Yeah, Right There." I 说 Pointing To The Empty Chair At The End.
"Well," 说 Victoria Khan Placing Her 图书 On The Seat. "Now It's Taken."
Everyone Laughed. Except Me Of Course. I Just Walked Away. Wishing, I Had Never Been So Cruel.