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posted by j-bfan7
my hero is not superman,
nor is it wonderwomen,
my hero is my dad.

when i go to bed,hes there to tuck me in,
when i wake up hes there to say goodmorning,
when i come downstairs my breakfast is made.

he drops me off at school,
even when hes busy,
he never says no to me,
especially when im hurt.

when im feeling sad,
his humor always cheers me up,
my dad is always there for me.

my daddy is my hero,
and best of all,
hes all mine.

thank u for 阅读 "Bugs poetry:poetry 由 me"i am only 12 years old and even though some of this isnt true i feel it is because my dad is the best.
posted by boomerlover
A Really Bad Day

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps 下一个 to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy 你 another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This 日 is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police 说 that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in 床, 床上 with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, 你 显示 up and drink my poison."
Here's the rest of em'

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of 橙子, 橙色 traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your 晚餐 with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in 随意 spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone 你 meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do...
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I do think that 你 probably should avoid the following sites I am going to list. I will add 更多 to the 列表 when I find 更多 sites I think 你 should probably avoid. So if anyone sends 你 链接 to the following sites, 你 have been warned that they could be tricking you. Some of these are obviously bad 由 the name of the 网址 but some of them are very sneaky to trick you.

UNLESS 你 ARE A SICKO I ADVISE 你 NOT TO GO TO THE FOLLOWING SITES

meatspin.com
fingerslam.com
infoslash.com
wowomg.com
2girls1cup.com
2girls1finger.com
lemonparty.org
goatse.cz
cleangirls.org
salsasnack.com
goatsemarathon.com
biblecamp.info...
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posted by milorox18
1. I 爱情 the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I 爱情 the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I 爱情 the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I 爱情 the way 你 look at me.

5. I 爱情 how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I 爱情 the way I can’t imagine a 日 without 你 in my life.

7. I 爱情 the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I 爱情 the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I 爱情 the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I 爱情 how I know you’ll always be there when I need 你 to be.

11....
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posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, 你 answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, 你 answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, 你 answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, 你 say “is that so?”
5. If 你 so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher 你 did not turn in your homework because 你 were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...
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1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When 你 sleep over never boss me around in 床, 床上 unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If 你 don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” 或者 “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If 你 want sex, just ask. (In case 你 didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with 更多 than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are 你 busy?" 或者 "Are 你 doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all 日 but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes 你 make me so mad i wanna throw 你 in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style 你 wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...
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44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make 你 tear up :)

Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.

2-Talk to her.

3-Share secrets.

4-Give her your jacket.

5-Kiss her slowly.

Are 你 remembering this?

6-Hug her.

7-Hold her.

8-Laugh with her.

9-Invite her somewhere.

10-Let her be with 你 when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.

12-Take pics with her.

13-Pull her onto your lap.

14-When she says she loves 你 more, deny it. fight back.

15-When her 老友记 say i 爱情 her 更多 than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...
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posted by chowjoyi
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If 你 have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your 老友记 come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary 老友记 that 你 ask their opinion of everything.

7. After 你 have your bath, 包, 换行 a bath towel around 你 and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary 老友记 that 你 talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while 以前 and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask 你 somethingand i want 你 to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how 你 feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want 你 to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi 或者 Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog 食物 is a beautiful thing to watch when 你 are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when 你 sleeeeeep.

13. Bye 说 Santa while eating Blitzen.
posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall 墙 and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 秒 and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....
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posted by slytherin360
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten 分钟 intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people 你 can get to 加入 in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department 由 sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
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1. Q."Can I screw you?"
A.I would say: "No..."

2. Q/M."Would 你 mind if I read this?"*Holds up some porn magazine*
A. I would say: "I don't give a da**..."

3. Q/M. *Hugs 你 and takes a little something off 你 would like him not to*
A.I would slap him and say "Don't do that, da** it!"

4. Q. "Are 你 sure we can't f***?"
A. I would say: "If 你 say that agin...I swear I'm going to get ticked..."
5. Q. "That somehow arouses me..."
A. I would say:"Get aroused all 你 want, not like I care if 你 are 或者 aren't...As long as 你 don't jump around..."

6. Q. "I want to sign your shirt..."
A. I would say:...
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added by Rodz
Source: wallpaperstock
added by emostan
 年 Of The Dragon: 1904 * 1916 * 1928 * 1940 * 1952 * 1964 * 1976 * 1988 * 2000
Year Of The Dragon: 1904 * 1916 * 1928 * 1940 * 1952 * 1964 * 1976 * 1988 * 2000
年 of the Rat-(1912, 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996)
Occupying the 1st and most prominent position on the Chinese Zodiac, the 鼠, 大鼠 symbolizes such character traits as wit, imagination and curiosity. Rats have keen observation skills and with those skills they’re able to deduce much about other people and other situations. Overall, Rats are full of energy, talkative and charming but they have a tendency to become aggressive.
Rats are full of good 建议 but they will never share their troubles with others. They are honest individuals and they enjoy living for the moment. They’re...
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1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up 由 唱歌 海滩 Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say 你 taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10....
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