Rules that guys wished girls knew..........
1. If 你 think you're fat, 你 probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If 你 ask a 问题 你 don't want an answer to, expect an
answer 你 don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless 你 are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
9. 狗 are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon 或者 the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything 你 wear is fine. Really.
13. 你 have enough clothes.
14. 你 have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if 你 must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and
your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what 你 want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, he doesn't know what 日 it is. He never will. Mark
anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is 更多 difficult than peeing from
point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes 你 think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
together.
29. Anything we 说 6 或者 8 months 以前 is inadmissible in an
argument. All 评论 become null and void after 7 days.
30. If 你 don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. If something we 说 can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes 你 sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty 你 are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if 你 don't want the genie to come out.
34. 你 can either ask us to do something 或者 tell us how 你 want it done- not both.
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever 你 have to say during commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like
你 do.
39. Telling us that the 模特 in the men's magazines are
airbrushed makes 你 look jealous and petty and it's
certainly not going to deter us from 阅读 the magazines.
40. The relationship is never going to be like it was
the first two months we were going out.
41. Anyone can buy condoms.
If this offended any Girls throughout this‚ i'm sorry... but us girls should know this
1. If 你 think you're fat, 你 probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If 你 ask a 问题 你 don't want an answer to, expect an
answer 你 don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless 你 are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
9. 狗 are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon 或者 the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything 你 wear is fine. Really.
13. 你 have enough clothes.
14. 你 have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if 你 must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and
your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what 你 want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, he doesn't know what 日 it is. He never will. Mark
anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is 更多 difficult than peeing from
point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes 你 think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
together.
29. Anything we 说 6 或者 8 months 以前 is inadmissible in an
argument. All 评论 become null and void after 7 days.
30. If 你 don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. If something we 说 can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes 你 sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty 你 are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if 你 don't want the genie to come out.
34. 你 can either ask us to do something 或者 tell us how 你 want it done- not both.
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever 你 have to say during commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like
你 do.
39. Telling us that the 模特 in the men's magazines are
airbrushed makes 你 look jealous and petty and it's
certainly not going to deter us from 阅读 the magazines.
40. The relationship is never going to be like it was
the first two months we were going out.
41. Anyone can buy condoms.
If this offended any Girls throughout this‚ i'm sorry... but us girls should know this
1. Grab your spoon and put 食物 on it and start flinging it at people
2. When your parents arent looking splash water 或者 soda on some stranger (optional)
3.Go to every 表 and start to loosen the salt and pepper shakers
4.When 你 take a drink of your water 或者 soda spit it out at some stranger
5.Complain loudly how terrible the service is and if the waiter doesnt do anything give them 25 cents as a tip
6.When 你 got your 甜点 (pie,ice cream,etc...) quietly throw some at strangers AND/OR waiter
7.If someone gives 你 a dirty look nicely and daintly blow your nose in your napkin and throw it at them
Sorry i dont know what else 2 put but i hope u enjoyed this article!
2. When your parents arent looking splash water 或者 soda on some stranger (optional)
3.Go to every 表 and start to loosen the salt and pepper shakers
4.When 你 take a drink of your water 或者 soda spit it out at some stranger
5.Complain loudly how terrible the service is and if the waiter doesnt do anything give them 25 cents as a tip
6.When 你 got your 甜点 (pie,ice cream,etc...) quietly throw some at strangers AND/OR waiter
7.If someone gives 你 a dirty look nicely and daintly blow your nose in your napkin and throw it at them
Sorry i dont know what else 2 put but i hope u enjoyed this article!
Story made by: Invader Calliope.
Now take your seats.
One 日 in New York!
There was a wizard who had to pee really badly!
Wizard: Man i gotta pee oh look dead unicorn *pees on unicorn*
Unicorn: 你 B******! WOW I CAN BREATH FIRE! now i will rape some ladies.
Little girl: HI 火, 消防 breathing unicorn
unicorn: *rapes little girl*
Mom:YOU JUST RAPED MY CHILD!! 火, 消防 BREATHING RAPING UNICORN!
Unicorn: *rapes mother*
Old man: now rape me!
Unicorn: *rapes old man*
Unicorn: Yes kids i like to rape men also!
Hannah Montanah: *raped*
Zim: *raped*
Barney: *raped*
伦敦 tipton: *raped*
THE END!
Now take your seats.
One 日 in New York!
There was a wizard who had to pee really badly!
Wizard: Man i gotta pee oh look dead unicorn *pees on unicorn*
Unicorn: 你 B******! WOW I CAN BREATH FIRE! now i will rape some ladies.
Little girl: HI 火, 消防 breathing unicorn
unicorn: *rapes little girl*
Mom:YOU JUST RAPED MY CHILD!! 火, 消防 BREATHING RAPING UNICORN!
Unicorn: *rapes mother*
Old man: now rape me!
Unicorn: *rapes old man*
Unicorn: Yes kids i like to rape men also!
Hannah Montanah: *raped*
Zim: *raped*
Barney: *raped*
伦敦 tipton: *raped*
THE END!
