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How do I become sarcastic?
CANADA24; 你 answer 问题 such as THIS one.


My house is on fire, what do I do?
CANADA24; 你 get off the fuckin computer and go outside!


Can 你 get pregnant from watching porn?
CANADA24; Only on wednesdays.


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
CANADA24; Your not drinking ENOUGH of it!


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
CANADA24; GOOD!


Why are 婴儿 ugly at first?
CANADA24; 你 try living inside a woman's vigina for so long!


How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
CANADA24; 你 take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start.


Is it normal to be in 爱情 with your dog?
CANADA24; 你 need help.


Do 你 猫 know when your masterbating? I'm asking for a friend?
"Your friend needs to stop smoking so much weed"


Do they have toliet paper in Canada?
CANADA24; Coarse not! We use the flag of whatever country your from.


Is their birds in Canada:
"Obviously 你 never seen Alpha and Omega"


What happens if 你 paint your teeth white with nail polish?
CANADA24; 你 die!


How do I test if my 龟, 海龟 is gay?
"you 显示 it your penis, and see if it stares for 更多 than 20 seconds"


Are there autographs of 耶稣 Christ?
CANADA24; No, they were all turned into wine.


How does sex start?
CANADA24; With human contact!


How long can a little girl hold her breathe
CANADA24; 3 weeks.


How do I ask a 问题 on Yahoo Answers?
CANADA24; 你 JUST DID!!


How do 你 tell which side of the potato chip is saltier?
CANADA24; Take it to McDonald's.


Do midgets have night vision?
CANADA24; Only in Mexico.


Can 你 lose your virginity if 你 fall?
CANADA24; Only if it's off a bike


How do I take care of my pet potato?
"With 爱情 and a full stomach"


What if the girl that thinks I'm the dad isn't the mom?
CANADA24; ...................... WHAT!?


How do I get accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?
CANADA24; 你 draw a lighting bolt on your fourhead, and buy fullmoon glasses, and take British speaking lessons


Why do my balls smell like ham?
CANADA24; The BETTER 问题 is, why were 你 smelling it in the first place?


What my wife is going to think about my black crotch on my white body?
"She'll probably call a priest to perform an exorcist"


Why does my screen say "www.bangbros.com" after my son leaves even though he tells me he's doing homework?
CANADA24; It's a porn site... He's "smart" enough to leave the link open.


How can I test if my son is gay?
CANADA24; 你 显示 him the Twilight Saga.


My girlfriend has a lazy eye & she's constantly looking at other women, should we break up?
CANADA24; And pass up the chance for a threeway!?.. 你 really ARE stupid!


Why is canada a 安全 country?
CANADA24; Cause the mighty king 鹅 gives us 食物 to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape..


Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my 龟, 海龟 against a wall"
CANADA24; I don't think your your doing it right.


万圣节前夕 falls on a Friday the 13th this 年 for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
CANADA24; 你 two huh?


The devil has five letters and so does weed:
CANADA24; Good for you, here's a lollipop.


Why are Americans stupid?
CANADA24; Cause they are close to Canada.


Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
CANADA24; Because ALL Canadians like hockey.


Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
CANADA24; No, that's Japen"


Do they have trees in America?
CANADA24; Coarse not 你 idiot.


Is it legal to live in Canada? also is Canada even a real country 或者 is it just part of the united states?
CANADA24; 你 make me sad.


If 你 die in Canada? Do 你 die in real life?
CANADA24;No, 你 become a reindeer with red nose"


Do they have birds in Canada?
CANADA24; Try 阅读 a book once in a while"


Why do Canadians speak English?
CANAD24; Maybe the fact we were part of England may have a little bit to do with it.. But who knows.


Are Newfoundlander's and Irish the same thing?
CANADA24; ... Dick!


Will I meet many Americans that live in Toronto?
CANADA24; ..........................


Why would Canadians be against global warming when it will renders huge swaths of Canadian land habitable someday?
CANADA24; 你 do realize Canada reaches like 90 degrees most summers!"


Could 你 give me 建议 on a nice and warm jacket? How about the Canada Goose?
CANADA24; Sure.. Find one, and it can talk to you.


Why are Canadians gay?
CANADA24; Cause we have a red flag"


How can I 移动 to Canada?
CANADA24; 由 getting off the couch.


Can an 18 年 old go to Canada?
CANADA24; No.. Too many perverts.


Why did Canada send troops to Afghanistan?
CANADA24; Cause we were bored.


How come Canadians don't seem to be into 'Christianity' as much as the United States?
CANADA24; 你 do realize we are nothing BUT christians.


How do 你 say "I 爱情 you?" in Canadian?
CANADA24; 由 ending it with "eh"


Is Canadian easy to learn?
CANADA24; Not really, but easier than learning chineese"


What state is Toronto?
CANADA24; It's part of Florida.


What is the country Canada all about?
CANADA24; Hillybillies and 枫, 枫树 syrup.


Dose Canada have a military?
CANADA24; No we have polar bears with stun guns.


What City is Niagara Falls in?
CANADA24; Your mothers.


Are Canadians considered to be Americans?
CANADA24; Yes and Mexicans are considered Russians.


America has a population that is 10 times larger than Canada's. So could the population of Canada easily fit within America?
CANADA24; Yes, but it's a tight squeeze.


JUST CAUSE I SUCKED YOUR COCK, DON'T MEAN WE DATING! I SUCKED YOUR COCK, BUT NOT YOUR HEART!!
CANADA24: This is why hookers don't get paid much.


My kid is NEVER gonna watch Skrek! Disagree all 你 want! Beautiful people don't go with ugly people! My daughter would grow up thinking she should change cause some ugly boy likes her! Why didn't 怪物史莱克 change for Fiena!? Beautiful people are strong, ugly people are not! Why couldn't he change for Fiona!? Because woman have to do everything!
CANADA24; Try watching 怪物史莱克 2 dumbass..


I don't want my baby boy to he straight, I want it gay.. If it's straight, I'll put it to adoption straight away!
CANADA24; Don't worry sweetheart, if your his first impression of what a woman is, he'll either be gay 或者 a serial killer..


Who trying to get me pregnant? I'll abort it 由 summer.
CANADA24; Good idea, can't have 更多 of your kind running around..


If 你 hadn't 迷失 your viginity 由 14, your a fucking loser, kill yourself! No offence.
CANADA24; Stop playing CoD online and fix that gas leak..


I put my hand down my pants to adjest my balls, now my palm smells! #Gross
CANADA24; #NoShit!


If Trump becomes president I'm moving back to Hawaii! Fuck America!
CANADA24; Yeah, lets get away from America and live in Texas..


Gay rights! Woman rights! Gays and woman should be monitored!
CANADA24;And 比萨, 比萨饼 should be protected 由 law.


#14:
I'm not a hooker! I just make money while being sexually pleasured, okay!
CANADA24; That's still a hooker..


9/11 was a true tragedy for females. So many woman 迷失 there lives, and there husbands.. And who was responsible? MEN! Males destroyed the world trade centre cause deep down inside, they all have the mind set of barbarians. As a female, I’m glad our brains have developed to recognize good and evil.
CANADA24; This is real people! These people are real!


#16:
Another reporter was killed today. I think the only solution is to create a Muslim holocaust. Put them in construction camps, and exterminate them from this world!
CANADA24; HEIL HITLAR!!


Saw my son’s penis at a scan today. #Impressed #Proud
CANADA24; #GetHelp!


If being Gay is natural, where are the gay babies!?
CANADA24; They are still in the lab..


This is PSA to men. When we say something and 你 disagree pretend to agree anyway. Cause when we hear “no your wrong” we get scared. With the amount of rape culture, we take it as a sign that your silencing us. And if 你 continue to do so just cause 你 arrogantly believe woman are wrong, than it’s a slippery slope to Misogyny and abuse.
CANADA24; Yes, woman are never wrong.. Just ask Elizabeth Bathory


I 爱情 jealous aggressive guys. That’s right. Beat me. Push me. Get in my face! Don’t ignore my arguments, argue back. Even if your wrong, win the argument. I’m a strong minded stubborn girl, and if 你 let me walk all over 你 I will. No girl wants a emotionally weak man. She wants a man who can put her in her place!
CANADA24; And the mother of the 年 award goes tooooo
added by fatoshleo
added by Avatarzan
Source: a few 更多 to go, heehee!
added by Saint_and_Fang
posted by nmdis
"Remember December"


I feel a seperation coming on
'Cause I know 你 want to be moving on
I wish it would snow tonight
You'd pull me in, avoid a fight
'Cause I feel a seperation coming on
Just prove, that there's nothing left to try
'Cause the truth, I'd rather we just both deny
你 kissed me with those open eyes
It says so much, it's no suprise
To you, but I've got something left inside

Don't surrender, surrender, surrender
Please remember, remember, December
We were so in 爱情 back then,
Now you're listening
To what they say
Don't go that way
Remember, remember, December
Please remember,...
continue reading...
posted by Draculaura10
HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?




This is hysterical. 你 have to try this. It is absolutely true. I guess there
are some things that the brain cannot handle.




HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?



You have to try this please, it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this!!!

It is from an orthopedic surgeon................This will boggle your mind

and it will keep 你 trying over and over again to see if 你 can outsmart
your foot, but, 你 can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain!


1). Without anyone watching 你 (they will think 你 are GOOFY....) and
while sitting at your 台, 办公桌 in front...
continue reading...
posted by Gangster-Girl
- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a 床, 床上 of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your 枕头 X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of water
- Calmly have a nervous...
continue reading...
posted by spunkyonyx
Your right lung is smaller than your left lung to make room for your heart.

No piece of square dry paper can be folded 更多 than 7 times in half!

A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein!

Over 2500 left handed people a 年 are killed from using products made for right handed people!

There are 更多 than 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building!

If 你 counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!

Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive!

A 鳄鱼 always grows new teeth to replace the old teeth!

The sun is 330,330 times...
continue reading...
posted by Tayloraddict-1
On tons of 俱乐部 i see a 问题 saying "Can 你 plz be a 粉丝 of me?" Its was ok at first then i just saw it everywhere and i thought it was just getting annoying.All I see on 随意 is Can 你 plz be my fan? Just filling up my 更新 更多 and 更多 everyday.
Ive seen people with 200 或者 更多 粉丝 asking Can u 粉丝 me plz i really need some 更多 fans. Like this is not a competition to see who will get the 更多 粉丝 its just life XD And 你 gotta earn your 粉丝 because i had to earn my 粉丝 and look at me now i have over 600 fans. I earned all of em.
Its not fair to us other fanpoppers who werked...
continue reading...
posted by Jeffersonian
Of 8th grade through College 'student reports':


Ancient Egypt was inhabited 由 mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an 苹果 tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

Moses led the hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened 面包 which is 面包 made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments....
continue reading...
added by HarleyQuinn1
added by Ranty-cat
Source: Doge meme
added by Blaze1213IsBack
posted by SilentForce
A very sad event has happened today.Lefteris Theodosios Notaras(why must his name be so long?) has died heroically while protecting a hot blonde girl with huge tits from demonic forces.
He was a lot of things:The meme god,the waifu overlord,the martial artist,the chivalrous pervert but above all a good fellow that will be missed forever
REST IN 意大利面 NEVER FORGETTI

'Now lets all sing this song in honour of him like he would want us to do.*Breathes deeply*:
''I'm like yo
They took my long 迷失 bro Lefteris
Like no
Oh my god woah
You shot bae
"Lefteris! Are 你 okay Lefteris?"
No he was dead
You took...
continue reading...
added by ShadowFan100
added by SilentForce
added by aldrine2016
added by Mauserfan1910
Source: eithnemauserweilder
added by EgoMouse