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#1:
POST: I don't want my baby boy to he straight, I want it gay.. If it's straight, I'll put it to adoption straight away!
ME: Don't worry little lady. If your the kids first impression of what a woman is, he'll either be gay 或者 a serial killer..


#2:
POST: I'm bored.. Somebody fuck be.
ME: I would, but 你 might cough on me, and I might catch your stupid.


#3:
POST: How do Christians reproduce, if they think sex is a sin, how do they have babies!?
ME: No, no, your mistaking Christians for temblr feminists., they consider 你 a rapist for "having a penis"


#4:
POST: Who trying to get me pregnant? I'll abort it 由 summer.
ME: Good idea, don't want 更多 of your kind running around.


#5:
POST: Having the flu ain'r gonna stop me from being a slut :)
ME: 你 know what also has flu symptoms? HIV. What do 你 get from being a slut? HIV. What do 你 deserve for being a slut? A shovel to the face. What 你 thought I was gonna say HIV? I'm not a monster.


#6:
POST: So I accidantly drank my sons pee.. Tastes even better than my husbands pee.. I 爱情 golden showers!
ME:



#7:
POST: Today my science teacher threw his dead 大车, 购物车 in the freezer, so we had to clean it. #Gross.
ME: #NoShit!.. If your a professor.. Your cat died.. And 你 put in a freezer so other have to clean.. 你 shouldn't be a professor!.. 你 shouldn't even be a alive.


#8:
POST: Korn has the best songs, "I wander out where 你 can't see
Inside my shell I wait and bleeeeed!!"
ME: That's Slipknot you, fucking, idiot!


#9:
POST: My kid is NEVER gonna watch Skrek! Disagree all 你 want! Beautiful people don't go with ugly people! My daughter would grow up thinking she should change cause some ugly boy likes her! Why didn't 怪物史莱克 change for Fiena!? Beautiful people are strong, ugly people are not! Why couldn't he change for Fiona!? Because woman have to do everything!
ME: Try watching 怪物史莱克 2, dumbass.


#10:
POST: GTA V sucks, GTA 5 is better.
ME: Some people can't wake up in the morning without a daily dose of STUPID!!


#11:
POST: How old do 你 have to be to watch porn? I'm a 11 年 old, who has a 16 年 olf brother who always wants me to watch porn with him.
ME: All that 问题 does is make me wanna 冲床 your brother.


#12:
POST: So my roommate and I watch porn every night.. Now he keeps wanting to masterbate in front of me. Is this normal?
ME: Not if your gay.. And weird!
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Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan.

If 你 consider it a sport to gather your 食物 由 drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all 日 hoping that the 食物 will swim by, 你 might live in Michigan .

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each 年 because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, 你 might live in Michigan .

If your local Dairy 皇后乐队 is closed from November through April, 你 might live in Michigan .

If 你 instinctively walk like a 企鹅 for five months out of the year, 你 might live in Michigan .

If someone in a store offers...
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Okay,No need to be so rough on yourself!Because 你 know what?IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!Here are a few reasons that 你 must continue to smile,laugh and to the teenagers who want to kill themselves why to live.
1.You're individual!You're yourself!You're not afraid of being who 你 are and 你 should be proud of it,because not many people are like that!Most of them pretend to be someone who they're not and that often makes them feel worse than you.Seeing that you're happy and you're free to express yourself they get aggressive and they want to make 你 feel bad!I say:FUCK THEM!
2.If you're a little...
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你 know you're a 'Furry Fan' when...
Rabies replaces cancer as your number one disease concern.
Your 最喜爱的 character from 星, 星级 Trek is Lieutenant M'Ress (from the animated series).
You think "Beauty and the Beast" was spoiled 由 Beast becoming human.
You replace Elle McPherson pinups with those of Amy the Squirrel, Erma Felna, 或者 Minerva Mink.
You slip the word 'fur' into as many places as possible in your mail.
You can identify a captionless book illustration as being Doug Wingers' in under ten seconds.
None of your 最喜爱的 female (or male) fiction characters are actually human.
You go...
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posted by breebree446
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
EMOTICONS
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

: ) happy face
:-) just kidding 或者 happy
:-( depressed 或者 frowning
(:-( extremely Sad
B-) cool 或者 sunglasses
:-))) overweight
d:-) a baseball player
:-D laughing
:-P tongue sticking out
:-o surprised
8-o shocked
:-s confused
:- skeptical
:-)' drooling
:-)8 well dressed because of bow tie
8-) glasses
*<|:-) Santa
:-{} big mouth
=:-)= punk rocker with a goatee
:v) big nose
:-# braces
:^) broken nose
:-[#] eating
:<) Ivy League school
:-& tongue tied
:*) drunk
:-'] cold
[(:-)](:-( a toupee and it's windy
:-8 talking out of both...
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