随意 Club
加入
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
#10 Ask if they have change for a penny.
#9 Have one of your 老友记 hit 你 on the back and spit out a piece of white gum 或者 a tic-tak, this will make people think they broke your tooth.
#8 Go to the mall and ask people if they have change for the payphone. Don't stop until 你 have $20 或者 more.
#7 If 你 have to write a story for English class, write: Once upon a time, The end, and turn it in.
#6 After a lesson, if the teacher ask if there are any questions, ask something completely randon like "Where do 婴儿 come from?"
#5 If the teacher leaves during the middle of a movie, get up and change the channel to Spongebob 或者 音乐 videos.
#4 Go around 唱歌 the Free Credit Report.com songs.
#3 Go around hitting people on the head and say: "Could've had a v8."
#2 Get a bra and use it to shoot eggs at people.
#1 When the intercom comes on, drop to your knees and yell, "NO! It's those voices again!
added by aromate
added by liridonarama96
Source: ....
added by liridonarama96
Source: nice
added by xoheartinohioxo
Source: actinglikeanimals.com
added by angel_cake
added by EminemAddict09
Source: my awesomeness
added by xoheartinohioxo
Source: icanhascheezburger
added by Snugglebum
added by Mallory101
Joey = Nobody Panic. We've got cook books. If 你 can read English, 你 can cook. For Instance. Basic 面包 stuffing, melt one third cup of 牛油, 黄油 in a heavy skillet.
Danny = That's easy. On a stove,right?
Jesse = No, no. We stick 牛油, 黄油 on a rocket ship and send it to the sun.

Joey = Good Morning! How 你 guys doing? It's great to be alive. happy Thanksgiving,Buddy!
Jesse = Why can't 你 wake up grumpy and grouchy like normal people?

Michelle = 你 got it, dude.

Michelle = I hope I'm getting paid for this.

Michelle = But he tempted me with Ice cream!!!!
Becky = Jesse!!!!
Michelle = And it had sprinkles, and a cherry!!!

Joey = Freeze! I have a baby and I know how to use it.
Jesse = Joey!
Joey = I'm warning you, she's loaded.

Jesse = Have Mercy!

DJ = Uncle Jesse, there's a girl here to see you. This one's great
Jesse = That must be my new 吉他 student.
DJ = Yeah,right.
posted by Ashley-Green
面包 IS DANGEROUS

Why? Judge for yourself:
Research on 面包 indicates that

1. 更多 than 98 percent of convicted felons are 面包 users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all 面包 was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. 更多 than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours...
continue reading...
Kate: then she she was all like OH NO 你 did NOT! then she did the worst thing ever!

Liz: What's that? 吻乐队(Kiss) your boy friend?

Kate: No not that bad!

Liz: Did she mess up your hair?!

Kate: Wores.

Liz: Break your leg?

Kate: no.

Liz: Tell ya mom about that night with daved?

Kate: I told 你 not to remind me of that!

Liz: sorry. What?

Kate: SHE BROKE MY NAIL!

LIZ: NO!

Kate: Yes!

Liz: Ooooooo! When I get to school tomorrow she is gonna GET IT! All that other stuff was NOT as bad as this! mostly breaking your leg. How dumb is that!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope ya guys liked it! I just came up with it just a 秒 ago. well tell me what 你 think!I am planing on making 更多 short storys so keep an eye out. bye. I LIKE PIE! GOOD NIGHT NEW YORK!
posted by montgomeryraina
got this off a website :)

1. I'm so goth, I got a tattoo of celtic knotwork starting at the 最佳, 返回页首 of my head, winding all the way down my body, and trailing five feet behind me on the floor.

2. I'm so goth I AM a tattoo.

3. I'm so goth my name is "Tattoo" and I was on 幻想 Island.

4. I'm so goth, in preschool, the only crayon I used was black.

5. I 'm so goth I use black cotton balls.

6. I'm so goth I dyed my shadow black.

7. I'm so goth I dyed my belly button black.

8. I'm so goth my pupils are black.

9. I'm so goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it "black black."

10. I'm so goth,...
continue reading...
Note: This was my speech for 辩论 team, therefore it would be presented as a proper speech and not something for online viewing, take this into consideration while 阅读 this, thank you, and enjoy.

Imagine a world where 你 could be turned down from a job because 你 were black and your employer was a white man, a world where 你 can be pulled over and asked for citizenship for being a Mexican, a world in which 你 cannot marry the 爱情 of your life because 你 two were the same sex.

Welcome to America, friends.

The United States is 说 to be a free country, one with civility. 你 would think...
continue reading...
1. The coffee-flavored donut.

2. The ShamWOW!

3. Middle school 或者 any school in particular

4. Baseball cards

5. Jell-o with fruit/vegetable bits in it

6. Misquitoes

7. Bees!!!!!!!!

8. Wasps!!!!

9. People who think they have ESP

10. Math

11. The 爆米花 ball

12. A 唱歌 篮球 (yes they're real)

13. Hippopttomonstrousequippedillaphopia (fear of long words.)

14. Antelopes

15. automatic soap dispensers
posted by BellaCullen96
Act like a dog, growl at people.
Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a 更多 suitable host body."
Apply dripping red paint around the edge of the roof hatch. When someone enters, look upwards and whisper "I think they want in..."
Ask each passenger getting on if 你 can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
Ask everyone what they made for their side dish.
Ask someone to take your temperature, then turn around and bend over.
Ask, "did 你 hear that cable snapping sound?"
Attempt to hypnotize the other passengers.
Bet the other passengers 你 can fit a quarter in your nose.
Blow spit...
continue reading...
added by Mapware3640
Source: Tumblr
added by SnowAngel_
added by Tamar20
Source: I made it ;]
posted by blossomyumyum
你 held it all in
I should’ve put the 火, 消防 out
你 were in pain and it’s all my fault

The days I fought with you
It stuck to me like glue
Baby I just kept hurting you
And it’s all my fault
你 bled but no one heard
你 were screaming, no one bothered to hear
I should’ve wiped away all your tears
This is my fault

So just forget about me
Babe I know this isn’t what 你 wanted it to be

你 were bleeding, crying, drowning, dying
I’m telling the truth this time, this time it’s my fault
Everything I ever did was my fault