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posted by LocalArtistist
Do 你 work at Subway? Because 你 just gave me a footlong.
Hi, do 你 want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
You're like my little toe, because I'm going to bang 你 on every piece of furniture in my home.
I'm no weather man, but 你 can expect 更多 than a few inches tonight.
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
嘿 babe, how about a 比萨, 比萨饼 and a f**k? [No] What's wrong, don't 你 like pizza?
Do 你 work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw 你 checking out my package.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.
嘿 baby, I think 你 just made my two 由 four into a four 由 eight.
I'll give 你 a nickel if 你 tickle my pickle.
你 are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
What's the speed of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 你 have to turn around!
I'm an astronaut and my 下一个 mission is to explore Uranus.
If I had AIDS, would 你 have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
Excuse me, but do 你 give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.
Miss, If you've 迷失 your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made 你 come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
Do 你 wanna come to the Marines, 或者 would your rather have a Marine come into you?
There are 265 识骨寻踪 in the human body. How would 你 like one more?
Why don't 你 come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
嘿 baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
Do 你 take Visa?
How do 你 like your eggs? Poached, scrambled 或者 fertilized?
你 smell... We should go take a 淋浴 together.
Would 你 like a hotdog to go with those buns?
Are 你 a virgin? [No] Prove it!
你 bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
I don't know what 你 think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some 诗歌 in motion?
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an 小时 fast!
I like your hair, your eyes, your smile... I like every bone in your body... Especially mine!
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" 你 do down.
Would 你 like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
Do 你 believe in free love? [No] Then how much do 你 cost?
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Hi, I'm gay. Do 你 think 你 can convert me?
If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add 更多 lubricants.
[Walk into her chest] "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened!"
What are 你 doing tonight? Besides me, of course?
Will 你 be my girlfrien? I left out the 'd' cause you'll get that later!
My name is Skittles... wanna taste my rainbow?
Are those pants on sale? Cause they're 100% off at my place!
I'm with the TSA and I need to perform a full body cavity search, for security reasons.
I only have 12 hours to live... please don't let me die a virgin.
I'm bigger and better than the Titantic - only 200 women went down on that vessel!
What is a nice girl like 你 doing in a dirty mind like mine?
What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren and conquer the earth!
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posted by KatiiCullen94
1.If 你 know that the guy is a Knicks fan, get front seats to a Knicks game and then prevent him from watching the final. Send him to the refreshments stand to get 你 a 可乐 instead, ensuring that he misses seeing that last crucial game-winning basket.

2.Take him to a chick flick marathon. If that isn't annoying enough, 测试 him throughout the movie about what he's thinking. Ensure that a big beefy 粉丝 of Sleepless in Seattle gets annoyed and sweetly tell him that your boyfriend could wipe the floor with him. Only be comforting after the guy gets a black eye.

3.Let him cook 晚餐 for you-...
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