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posted by LocalArtistist
Do 你 work at Subway? Because 你 just gave me a footlong.
Hi, do 你 want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
You're like my little toe, because I'm going to bang 你 on every piece of furniture in my home.
I'm no weather man, but 你 can expect 更多 than a few inches tonight.
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
嘿 babe, how about a 比萨, 比萨饼 and a f**k? [No] What's wrong, don't 你 like pizza?
Do 你 work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw 你 checking out my package.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.
嘿 baby, I think 你 just made my two 由 four into a four 由 eight.
I'll give 你 a nickel if 你 tickle my pickle.
你 are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
What's the speed of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 你 have to turn around!
I'm an astronaut and my 下一个 mission is to explore Uranus.
If I had AIDS, would 你 have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
Excuse me, but do 你 give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.
Miss, If you've 迷失 your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made 你 come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
Do 你 wanna come to the Marines, 或者 would your rather have a Marine come into you?
There are 265 识骨寻踪 in the human body. How would 你 like one more?
Why don't 你 come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
嘿 baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
Do 你 take Visa?
How do 你 like your eggs? Poached, scrambled 或者 fertilized?
你 smell... We should go take a 淋浴 together.
Would 你 like a hotdog to go with those buns?
Are 你 a virgin? [No] Prove it!
你 bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
I don't know what 你 think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some 诗歌 in motion?
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an 小时 fast!
I like your hair, your eyes, your smile... I like every bone in your body... Especially mine!
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" 你 do down.
Would 你 like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
Do 你 believe in free love? [No] Then how much do 你 cost?
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Hi, I'm gay. Do 你 think 你 can convert me?
If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add 更多 lubricants.
[Walk into her chest] "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened!"
What are 你 doing tonight? Besides me, of course?
Will 你 be my girlfrien? I left out the 'd' cause you'll get that later!
My name is Skittles... wanna taste my rainbow?
Are those pants on sale? Cause they're 100% off at my place!
I'm with the TSA and I need to perform a full body cavity search, for security reasons.
I only have 12 hours to live... please don't let me die a virgin.
I'm bigger and better than the Titantic - only 200 women went down on that vessel!
What is a nice girl like 你 doing in a dirty mind like mine?
What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren and conquer the earth!
added by MrOrange16
added by fatoshleo
Source: tumblr.com
Haha, Some Funny Things To Do While Class Is Going On.. :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-------------~~~~~~~~~­~~~­~~~­~

1) Bring some 图书 to class and read them instead of paying attention 或者 doing any work.

2) Walk around class begging for spare change.

3) Chew on your arm until someone notices.

4) Change seats every time the teacher turns his/her back.

5) After the teacher explains something, laugh really loud and say "Oh, now I get it!"

6) Lick yourself clean like a cat does.

7) After the teacher has explained something, say "Quite right, old bean" in the typical old english style.

8) Sing your questions...
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1997 a girl named Lauren was walking in a forest and suddenly
disappeared; she hadn't been discovered untill 2000 when a young girl
named Mary found Lauren's body which had chest markings that said, "I
wasn't pretty enough." Lauren's ghost will appear in your mirror,
telling 你 that you're not pretty enough and ................................. See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See More... See...
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Alabama:
Section, AL
Shorter, AL
St. Elmo, AL




Alaska:
Candle, AK
Dead Horse, AK
Krik, AK
Mary's Igloo, AK
Nightmute, AK
North Pole, AK



Arizona:
Monkey's Eyebrow,AZ
Why, AZ



Colorado:
Bonanza, CO
Hasty, CO
Hygiene, CO
Joes, CO
Last Chance, CO
Lay, CO
Paradox, CO
Yellow Jacket, CO



Delaware:
Bear, DE
Blades, DE



Florida:
Briny Breezes, FL
Cadillac, FL
Celebration, FL
Christmas, FL
Day, FL
Elfers, FL
Frostproof, FL
Havana, FL
Lorida, Florida
Mayo, FL
Panacea,FL
Picnic, FL
Sopchoppy, FL
Spuds, FL
Two Egg, FL
Wacahoota, FL
Yeehaw Junction, FL



Georgia:
Alley, GA
Enigma, GA
Experiment, GA
Hephzibah, GA
Homerville, GA
Ideal, GA
Quitman, GA



Illinois:...
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added by BellaMetallica
Source: http://failblog.org/
added by pinkbloom
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: Blizzard
added by iamjune
added by BlueDopamine
Source: Pinterest
posted by Canada24
Sense we all 爱情 the movies, and I was 给 the video game due to this.. Anyway.. I decided to do a very unique 列表 for him.. Sad moments.. I don't collect any marvel comics.. So I only do what I can find online, don't know the whole stories... Except the film examples..



#6: HE CAN'T DIE:


Some of his 更多 serious sides reveal how much this "sucks". I saw one comic 照片 of Wade shooting himself for no apparent reason. And another where he is actually complaining that the villain couldn't kill him..



#5: There was this time that he ran into the Ghost Rider, and he slapped DP with his whole...
continue reading...
added by KataraLover
added by legend_of_roxas
added by BlindBandit92
added by slenderman777
Source: NO ONE
added by BlondLionEzel
Source: 谷歌
Doodie Man! 圣诞节 SPECIAL! (2013)
video
doodie
man!
圣诞节
special!
(2013)
added by randomgirl3000
Source: tumblr