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posted by flippy_fan210
He kills and kills but doesn't know why
it doesn't matter how hard he tries.
if 你 say Vietnam he'll stab 你 with a fork
if 你 say tiger you're head won't work.
He can use fire, pencils and car gas
heck, he'll just use whatever he has.
你 can't stop him no matter what
if 你 call for help he'll stab 你 in the butt.
Never run because 你 know he'll catch you
he might torture 或者 just plain kill you.
Run for cover, 更多 like run for death
he'll fill your eyes with crystal meth.
It doesn't matter if 你 run 或者 cry
either way you'll just plain die.
Almost anything can set him off
你 better pray to god that 你 don't blow his top.
He might rip 你 to pieces 或者 snap you're neck
if he's flipping out run like heck.
你 better hope he's in a good mood
cause if he ain't you'll be his food.
With razor sharp teeth and glowing yellow eyes
he'll make 你 into french fries.
He may be cute but don't let that fool you
that's what he wants he might just kill you.
if 你 see him 你 better beware
he's flippy, the soldier bear.
added by ace2000
posted by CokeTheUmbreon
 Motherfucking animals! -Martin Garrix
Motherfucking animals! -Martin Garrix
Hey, Fanpoppers! CokeTheUmbreon here, and I'm gonna tell 你 my 最喜爱的 yo mama jokes! Please note that I don't own most of these. The jokes I do own will have a 随意 emoji 由 dem. I was bored thnx to the inactivity and my friend not being around to RP with me today.

P.S. The 随意 emojis neither the Umbreon pics will fit the theme of the jokes.

Anyways, let's get it on!

Yo mama so fat when she walks her 爱情 handles hit the quan. 😎

Yo mama so stank they use her bathwater as chemical weapons.

Yo mama so fat when she outweighs Groudon. 😈

Yo mama so ugly she gave Darkrai nightmares.

Yo mama...
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added by Eula2003
added by ace2000
posted by pinkydoll
1-Dolphin sleeps with one eye open.

2-"silent" and "listen" use exactly the same letters.

3-An octopus has two hearts

4-Bull frogs do not sleep.

5-There are 更多 chickens than human in the world.

6-flamingos gets their distinctive color from the 食物 they eat.

7-The hair of polar 熊 is not white it's transparent.

8-Turtles can breathe through their rear-rends

9-The sun comprises 99% of total mass of our solar system.

10-Butterflies taste with their feet.

11-Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

12-there are about 550 hairs in each of your eyebrow.

13-A 蜗牛 can sleep for 3 years.

14-A human eye can distinguish 10 million different colors.

15-Women blink their eyes twice than men.
added by Mollymolata
added by Mollymolata
posted by slenderman777
About five years 以前 I lived downtown in a major city in the US. I've always been a night person, so I would often find myself bored after my roommate, who was decidedly not a night person, went to sleep. To pass the time, I used to go for long walks and spend the time thinking.

I spent four years like that, walking alone at night, and never once had a reason to feel afraid. I always used to joke with my roommate that even the drug dealers in the city were polite. But all of that changed in just a few 分钟 of one evening.

It was a Wednesday, somewhere between one and two in the morning, and...
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added by ShadowFan100
added by 3xZ
(From Shovel Knight)

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! PROPELLER KNIGHT! V.S. KING KNIIIIIIIGHT!

BEGIN!

Propeller Knight: Bonjour, senior asshole, it's time to start!
Just don't start crying when I break your heart!
Your nothing 更多 than a wannabe king!
I'm a flying swordsman who can really sing!

I have a battleship, a girlfriend, and can soar through the skies!
Your just a 2 年 old who loves to eat pies!
Bring it on monsieur, just try to pierce these sexy eyes!
This rap battle will bring 你 to your ultimate demise!

King Knight: Sorry I couldn't hear you, my swag was too loud!
I'm...
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1. Play hide and seek!

2. Tell your boy/girlfriend how much 你 爱情 them.

3. STREAKING! ^__^

4. Give everyone hugs!

5. Give the homeless all your money.

6. Take a shower! Don't want to be dirty before 你 die.

7. Play the scariest horror game 你 know.

8. Tell your 老友记 all your deepest secrets.

9. Grab everything at Target. :D

10. Do the cinnamon challenge. With cocaine. (You're going to die anyways.)

11. 更多 STREAKING! ^___^

12. Take a look back at your life's greatest moments.

13. Do that one thing you've always wanted to do. (In my case, skydiving.)

14. Play some Pac-Man. :P Just because.

15. Go...
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added by xwolf19
CELEBS WHO HAVE BEEN TURNED DOWN 由 THEIR CRUSHES

Not even the One Direction lads get dates with all the people they like! Here's a 列表 of celebs who have been turned down 由 their crushes.

Emma Watson: “Between the ages of ten and twelve I had a really terrible crush on Tom Felton, to the extent that I would go into work in the morning and look down the numbers on the call sheet to see if he was going to be in. We 爱情 a bad guy, he was a few years older and he had a skateboard — and that just did it really." She confessed her feelings, but Tom saw Emma in a “younger, sisterly way.”...
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posted by KissKissHannah
There is someone on deviantART. Not enclosing names because they may also have a 潮流粉丝俱乐部 account. *shivers* My friend 说 he was a troll, but he's 更多 than a troll. He's a big BULLY. (The person I mean. Not my friend) He 说 I bragged about being straight (How insulting) and 说 my drawings were *insert a word that rhymes with hit here*. ;n; That was only because I occasionally drew on bases. He also 说 I was 更多 annoying than the annoying fangirls. Just because we have different opinions does NOT mean he has the right to bully me! I don't bully anyone who has different opinions! HE is the one that's 更多 annoying than the annoying fangirls! >:U
posted by ZacharyWhite
When some 随意 girl added me on facebook... She was all like "Oh gosh you're so cute" and I was like "Yeah, sure whatever..." The again she was all like "Oh God I 爱情 your style!!!" Then again I was like "Yeah.. sure.." Then she 说 "Oh gosshhh!!! It's like I can hear your voice talking in your message!!! You're an 情绪硬核 right? I'm an 情绪硬核 tooooo!! :-D Oh it's like we're SO MEAN'T TO BE!!!" Then I finally realize and 说 to myself "Shit I have a fangirl... okay, I'm doomed."

Girl: Hello? 你 still there?
Me: No...
Girl: Oh you're soooo funnyy :3 We are so the same!!! Ugh! I wish I could just...
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I am the boy who never finished high school because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl who was kicked out of her 首页 because I confided in my mother I was a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who held her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled night.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in a hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away...
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added by Dreamtime
added by Gretulee