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由 a Harry Potter fan.

1) Ask them if being a Potterhead means they smoke pot.
2) Point out how much 更多 successful Robert Patz was in Twilight.
3) Steal their Hogwarts robes.
4) Pretend to know what a Hufflepuff is.
5) Ask them why there is no yellow brick road in Hogwarts.
6) Get confused between Voldemort and Dumbledore.
8) Never use the number 7.
9) Call Bellatrix 'Big Head'
10) Ask loudly why 费雷德 and George never noticed their brother was sleeping with a strange man.
11) Laugh at Dobby's death.
12) Refer to Hedwig as 'the strange birdie'
13) Buy them an Umbridge inspired dress for Christmas.
14) Sing 'Mountain Air' from The Hunger Games at Fred's death.
15) During the exam scene in Order Of The Pheonix, loudly yell 'YOU SHALL NOT PASS'
16) Ask them are they Team Edward 或者 Team Jacob.
17) Ask their opinion on Harry and Draco's 'wand fight'
18) Go over memories of them not getting their letter on their 11th birthday.
19) Stick a piece of paper with the word MUGGLE on their back.
20) Shout out 'FOR NARNIA' while watching the battle scene.
21) Call Ginny a ginga' ninja.
22) Point out that as much as he tries, Ron will never be able to eat as much as Niall Horan.
23) Ask why doesn't Harry Potter have a cool theme tune like Wizards Of Waverly Place does.
24) Joyfully tell them how Hunger Games is going to be way bigger than Harry Potter.
25) Ask why doesn't Harry have his mother's eyes.
26) Ask who 费雷德 marries.
27) Point out how Harry and Hermione make such a good couple, and suggest Ron and Ginny get together.
29) Everytime Professor McGonagall comes on screen yell 'WHAT'S NEW PUSSY CAT?'
30) Compare Professor Trenawly to Alice Cullen.
31) Take embaressing pictures of them insisting you're Colin Creevy.
32) Declare your mutal 爱情 for the Giant Squid aloud in public.
33) Point out how Ron's catchphrase 'Bloody Hell' is just another word for a girl's period.
34) Blow smoke from your mouth outside on a cold 日 and pretend you're Norbet.
35) Tell them their hair looks like Hagrid's.
36) Hold a non existant object in front of their face, and declare it's only visible to wizards.
37) Ask them why Harry never changes his shirt.
38) Insist on playing 'Got your nose' with pictures of Voldemort.
39) Replace their Harry Potter DVDs with Twilight ones.
40) Ask if J.K stands for Joseph Kony.
There once was a girl named,Josie,Josie had black hair,she was a cop,she was 'bout 19,"Mom!!!WHERES MY PHONE?"Said Josie
"I DON'T KNOW!"Her mom said."FINE!I'll just go to my friend's apartment!WITHOUT CALLING!"Josie argued.
Josie drove to her friend's apartment."Kate!"She saw her friend lay dead on the 长椅, 沙发 with blood running down her face."OH MY GOD!HELP!!!!!911!"
- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - --- - ---
1 月 later,Josie tried to find out who killed her best friend.She later found out that she had a sister that was murdered in 1989.Her mom was dating a detective,So he helped her ."Okay,It...
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The start and the only chapter: "Oh my god there's a sale on MINISKIRTS Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" "Envy just SHUT UP!!!! 你 are a GUY NOT A GIRL!!!!" Lust yells at Envy as he stares at the miniskirt sale sign. "Hey 你 bums want simethin 或者 are 你 goin to keep starin in my store like a couple of freaks?" "Uh I guess that we can look around." "Come on Lust there is a sale on MINISKIRTS here lets go in and buy some MINISKIRTS!!!!!!!!!" Lust just groans as Envy dragged her in the store. "Um Lust?" "Yeah?" "Why is the Fullmetal Pipsqueak here?" "WHAT?!" "That voice, is that Envy and Lust? Al do 你 hear...
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 James
James
舱, 小木屋 for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Nine: James

    I’m James Ricky Reese. I live with my little sister, Cassie, and my older brother (he’s a bum), Greg. I have a hot girlfriend named Chelsea and annoying parents named Kristi and Bobby.
     Anyways, I am 唱歌 my 最喜爱的 song, 21 枪 由 Green 日 whenever I hear the all American, annoying Beth scream. It’s not this scared, “It’s a spider” scream. It’s this really excited scream. “OH MY GOD HE’S COMING HERE TONIGHT!” I look over at her and expect her to be jumping up and down...
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舱, 小木屋 for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Seven: Laken


    Hi! I’m Laken Reese Barenshsky. I’m 19 and I live with my parents and my 15 年 old brother, Jason. I have the most wonderful, beautiful girlfriend, Tori. She’s pretty, she has long brown hair, that’s naturally curly, brown eyes and her smile is gorgeous, like I’ve just been snapped with the sun! God, she’s sexy.
    “GOALLLLLLLL!” I scream whenever I kick the 梨 into the side of this 垃圾箱, 垃圾站 in the back of the store. Zack grumbles (because he’s a loser!) and we keep kicking this...
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posted by smileypop9
These 文章 are gonna be the thoughts on life and stuff, and this is part two.
I did this because I was bored, and because I wanna get my thoughts out.
---------

Rap in one word? Crap.
That's my opinion, so don't bash me.
.
Anyway, I hate that stupid drivel. Yeah ok, sorry kids, that I sound like your mother. But I really think that people who listen to rap could seriously use an update to their tunes.
Why would 你 wanna listen to 音乐 from people who wear their pants down to their knees, objectify women, and swear 24/7?
There's much better 音乐 available.
...
People who listen to rap are kinda...
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The Dr. Z!!
By: moolah
(Note: I’ve changed both me and my friend’s name for privacy. I have also changed the name of the school, and my [math] teacher )
[P.S: For Ellen’s part, I am just guessing what happened when I was in the bathroom!]
True Story.

Scene: Applebee’s
Time: 7:50
Why: My birthday dinner
Who: Tabby(me) and Ellen(my friend)
Tabby’s P.O.V
    I had to go to the bathroom, so my friend Ellen and I went to the Applebee’s bathroom, and I knocked on the one door to a stall. “YES HONEY!” A woman *I think* who sounded strangely like a man laughed as she spoke...
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The following is a very fake letter! Trust me!

To the people of the future,
    My name is Andrea Reese. I live in Burke Clouds. I live with my mom (Kayla), my dad (George), my cousin (Annie), my two sisters (Ally and Aria). I have a brother (Chance) who is 18 and in collage. He’s nice to me, unlike my friend, Alexis, brother. I 爱情 my family. I go to Franco Bud Rose Middle School. I am happy. But, I have a serious cancer. It has no none cure, no chemo can cure it. I’ve had it for a 年 and a half and have been alive. My time is limited here, and I wanted to put this...
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posted by invadercalliope
Ingredients:
•4 cups steamed Japanese rice
•strips of dried nori (seaweed)
•salt to taste
•black sesame seeds
•*for fillings:
•ume (pickled plum) / grilled salted 三文鱼 (small chunks) / kombu no tsukudani
Preparation:
Cook steamed rice. Put about a half cup of steamed 白饭, 大米 in a 白饭, 大米 bowl. Wet your hands in water so that the 白饭, 大米 won't stick. Rub some salt on your hands. Place the steamed 白饭, 大米 on your hand and put your 最喜爱的 filling, such as kombu-no-tsukudani, umeboshi, and grilled 三文鱼 on the rice. Push the filling into the 白饭, 大米 lightly. Hold the 白饭, 大米 between your palms. Form the 白饭, 大米 into a round, a triangle, 或者 a cylinder 由 pressing lightly with your both palms. Roll the 白饭, 大米 ball on your hands a few times, pressing lightly. 包, 换行 the 白饭, 大米 ball with a strip of nori 或者 sprinkle some sesame seeds on them.
voice: NEW FROM WHAT EVA THIS IS IT IS....... THE WHAT EVER IT IS!!!!!!!! This is made in the USA (china) made totaly 由 americans (aliens) and it total IS NOT toxic!!!!!

Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...

voice: LOVED IT!

Girl's friend: 你 got the what ever it is?

Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.

Girl's friend: what does it do?

Girl: I don't know. But I 爱情 it!

Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if 你 call right now we will also send 你 a what ever 你 call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 更多 dollers shiping and handleing! 你 GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever 你 call it! CALL NOW!!!

other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever 你 call it have 你 credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!
posted by invadercalliope
CALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOO
OOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!
HI EVERYONE I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS THE THIRD EPISODE!
HURRAY!
TODAYS A VERY SPECAIL 日 BECAUSE I AFISHALY!
WELL TODAY OUR GUEST 星, 星级 IS......GIR!
BUM BUM B BUM!
Invader Calliope: HIIIIIII GIR!
Gir: HI!
Invader Calliope: Thats all 你 have to say! HI!
AT LEAST ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER WHEN HE WAS ON THE SHOW!
Gir: Sorry but it's hard to stay in character and
Invader Calliope: AND!?! 吉尔 EVERYONE LOVES 你 THE MOST 你 HAVE THE MOST 粉丝 GIRLS AND ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER!
Oh no we are out of time good bye now and in joy the suprise picture!
The End!
Ok,Here are thingz that a am interested in!
Enjoy
Ok here are the biggest things i enjoy: Invader Zim,Video Games,Anime,softcore music,yaoi!
Here are some 电影院 i am interested in:Invader Dib,9,The nightmare before x-mas,corpse bride,the ring,paranormal activity,some 日本动漫 movies,titanic
Here is some 音乐 i'm interestes in:Gir,Invader Zim sound track,anime music,theme songs in tv shows,marilyn manson,my chemical romance,tokyo hotel,bella morte,drowning pool,evanescence
Here are some 图书 i'm interested in:Anything Jhonen Vasquez,Manga,Invader Zim comics,batman comic books,animal books
posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Well, I'm bored, and depressed, so I've decided to 列表 all the things I hate. Well, all the things I hate that I can think of!


1. Fire.
2. Small spaces.
3. The sound 你 get when 你 scratch a balloon.
4. Balloons in general. But just the rubbery ones, 你 know, not the foily ones? Well I know what I mean anyway. :/
5. Nose bleeds.
6. Clowns.
7. Bullies and bullying.
8. School.
9. Spoilt bitches who think that everything is about them, and don't even think about others' feelings.
10. Seeing a loved one cry.
11. The awkward moments that seem to stalk my life.
12. Witnessing a situation that is nothing to do with you, and knowing that it's not going to end happily.
13. Having to exercise in in the boiling hot sun.
14. Those days when 你 just feel like total crap.
15. PE.
16. Sharp knives.
17. 鱼 fingers.
18. The majority of green vegetables.
19. Being alone outside in the dark.
20. Watching someone suffer.
posted by moodystuff449
Thing are going round and round my head, 或者 maybe my head is going round and round in things. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

Sophie, I'm dying of boredom in here, 或者 maybe just dying. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

"You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want." — Diana Wynne Jones (Howl's Moving Castle)

"’I think we ought to live happily ever after,’ and she thought he meant it. Sophie knew that living happily ever after with Howl would be a good deal 更多 hair-raising than any storybook made it sound, though she was determined to try.

‘It should be hair-raising,’...
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posted by Blackteardrops
*** No offense to any one... Just randomness xD


If I Were a Boy PARODY

If I were a boy I would be gay
My guy liner would serve as a warning
I would 日期 Adam Lambert
And he’d call me babe

And we would make out on stage
I'd 吻乐队(Kiss) who I wanted
But I’d probably get confronted
No one would stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I would be gay
I would never 日期 a girl
I swear I'd still 爱情 men

I'd watch Glee
'Cause I know it’s really awesome
When 你 watch a brand new one
I’d invite my 老友记 over
And I wouldn’t let much change but

If I were a boy
I would be gay
I’d come out of the closet
And I’d push...
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posted by Puncky_Girl
brick:butch i'm going to sleep and don't broke something
butch:wait now?
brick:yea so what?
butch:oh come on brick! we can have a party!
brick:party? butch i want a pease!
butch:ok 你 go...
(brick goes to his room)
butch:you leave your phone here brick? (took bricks phone) now let's send SMSes
(door 钟, 贝尔 rings)
butch:(looks in the hole) it's open
(mitch comes)
mitch:hey butch
butch:wow mitch wats up?
mitch:i just wanted my ball back (tooks his ball)
butch:hey what is in your pocket?
mitch:marker
butch:will 你 give it to me?
mitch:what you'll give?
butch:umm brick's hat?
mitch:i don't want...
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posted by greenstergirl
Chapter one
Okay this is a really 随意 stroy but I was bored and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. In my opinion it is really badly written so sorry.

“Okay Class, 你 have the rest of the period to finish this quiz. This is the last grade before your midterm so work well, and remembers what we studied,” 说 my Mr. Grazing, my math teacher. He was the kind of teacher kids pick on and make fun of behind his back. I hate math, so I don’t care for him as a teacher much. He usually wears a sweater vest and weird 1950 glasses that squeeze his nose at the tip.

I stared at the Chapter...
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posted by Annacrombie
This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find 更多 crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? 你 are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor,...
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User: So your a robot?


Cleverbot: No 你 are a robot times 1000000.


User: No 你 are a robot times 1000000.


Cleverbot: I am a human and 你 are a robot.


User: User: 你 robot.User: 你 robot.User: 你 robot.


Cleverbot: Hahahaha that was funny. 你 are the robot here.

User: User: 你 robot.User: 你 robot.User: 你 robot.

Cleverbot: No i'm not robot... 你 computer?

User: So your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes I 'd like to know how I can have my own bot.

User: So 你 admit that your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes. I am a robot.




哈哈 yes fail I know
i don't know if this is already on here. i feel lazy and don't feel like looking.

i found this on some joke website:

CAROLS FOR THE MENTALLY DISTURBED

SCHIZOPHRENIA: do 你 hear what i hear?

DEMENTIA: I think I'll be 首页 for Christmas

MANIC: deck the halls and walls and house and lawn and streets and stores and office and town and cars and busses and trucks and trees and 火, 消防 hydrants and...

PARANOID: santa claus is coming to get me

PERSONALITY DISORDER: 你 better watch out, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna pout, maybe I'll tell 你 why

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER: jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Capricorn.

Your element: Earth
Your ruling planets: Saturn
Symbol: The Goat
Your stone: Garnet
Life Pursuit: To be proud of their achievements
Vibration: Poweful resilient energy
Capricorn Secret Desire: to be admired 由 their family and 老友记 and the world at large

Description:
The sign of the high roller, Capricorn is regarded as the zodiac’s top, but also quiet, life and business achievers. But, there are two very different types of Capricorns.

The first is represented 由 the mountain goat, always climbing higher and higher; never content until reaching the top. The 秒 is the garden goat,...
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