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that's your horoscope for today
weird al yankovic
your horoscope for today
weird al
yankovic
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Source: haha...
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posted by Wendy99
LITTLE TONY FROM BROOKLYN ON MATH

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and 你 shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a 问题 for YOU."

"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The 秒 is gobbling down the 最佳, 返回页首 and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the 最佳, 返回页首 of the ice cream....
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France
Honhonhon! Bonjour English man! Grow a real dick and don't fuck with Peter Pan! I'm Francis Bonnefoy and everyone loves me! 你 call me a wanker, cause mine is the biggest! Fuck off with your kid brother, cause USUK surely hits it!

Britain
SHUT UP! 你 DAMN FROG FACE! The fact that your on the same continent is a disgrace! All 你 are is a bloody wanker, my rhymes hit hard, like Captain Hook's anchor! Your just a bloody whore, I can't stand your face no more, your such a prick! Even Sealand has 更多 dick! I have an army of Red Coats! 你 have shitty little boats! Waiting till the last minute?...
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Whoa, time out. Football is on.
Sorry. I was just picturing 你 naked.
Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?
Don't 你 have some laundry to do 或者 something?
你 are so cute when 你 get mad.
You're just upset because your bottom is beginning to spread.
Wait a 分钟 - I get it. What time of the 月 is it?
你 sure 你 don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?
Looks like someone had an extra bowl of 婊子, 子 flakes this morning!
Who are 你 kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded.
posted by EminemAddict09
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that 你 "like it that way".
Drum on every available surface.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Set alarms for 随意 times.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with 老友记 in public entirely of "Beeeep Bip...
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posted by Tayloraddict-1
☆go in his room and sabotoge it make it a daily thing
☆Show his gf embarrasing pics of him
☆Go into his room at night and say crazy things in his ear make it a daily thing
☆At 晚餐 time quietly throw 食物 but dont get caught
Bonus if its a chicken bone and it hits him in the head
☆Beat him up to make him say the weirdest stuff like my 屁股 is fat 或者 i stuff twinkies in my 屁股 make it a daily thing
☆Ask dumb qs like how in da world did u get a 痣, 鼹鼠 dat big make it a daily thing
☆Make him do ur chores 由 lying on him saying stuff like Jason 说 that he was going to kick my 屁股 或者 something like that
☆Tell him to give 你 a piggy back down stairs make it a daily thing
☆Sit in front of ur brother and talk on the phone act like 你 heard somthing suprising then do a spit take
☆Sit there and talk about nothing he carez about
By
Tayloraddict-1
Become a 粉丝 today
This is very funny I told some of my 老友记 and they laughed.

Kids, don't try this at 首页 XD

Oh, and anything in between these things ** Is and action.

Oh and on 更多 thing, I live in NYC, so any references that's why.

1. Shoot me now.
2. *Jumps of Brooklyn Bridge*
3. *Sinks with the Titanic*
4. *Runs away with Prince Charming*
5. *House lands on self in Oz*

6. *Wicked witch turns self into frog*
7. *Frog gets run over*
8. *Frog gets carried away be halk*
9. *Bangs head on 墙 so hard, knock self into the 下一个 room*
10. *Flies into the sun*

11. *Falls off the face of the earth*
12. *Jumps off cliff*
13. *Goes skydiving and forgets parachute*
14 *Dives into 鲨鱼 tank*
15. *Glinda the good witch of the north send self home*

16. *Jumps into swamp full of hungry alligators*
17. Newspaper headline - "Magic trick gone wrong: teen disappears!"
18. *Swims in piranha infested waters*
19. *Runs away to Narnia*
20. *Canoes down a waterfall*
posted by IsabellaMCullen
1. Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make 爱情 with you.


2. Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until 你 find your
contact lens.


3. 冲床 the body and tell people that he hit 你 first.


4. Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.


5. Ask someone to take a snapshot of 你 shaking hands with the deceased.


6. At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.


7. Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.


8. Ask the widow to give 你 a kiss.


9. Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.


10. Tell the undertaker that your...
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While shaking hands get into a heated thumb wrestling match.
Repeat everything your interviewer says, keep going until he 或者 she yells at you. Then ask if 你 got the job.
Stick a piece of 西兰花 between your front teeth, smile a lot.
Sometime during the interview, frown and sniff suspiciously, ask the boss if he 或者 she farted.
Pick your nose and wipe contents underneath the lip of your interviewers desk.
Bring in whoopie cushion, set it off, roll your eyes and look at your interviewer with disgust.
In the beginning of the interview pull out a gun and put it on the interviewer’s 台, 办公桌 in front...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


A fleet of Rebel ships were close to the planet of Sullust. Inside one of the Mon Calamari ships, pilots were preparing their X-Wings. Other ships were carrying Y-Wings, and A-Wings.

Wedge: *Gives a high five to a Y-Wing* We're gonna do just fine.
Y-Wing Pilot: I copy red leader.

They both chuckled, and looked at a pilot in green.

Y-Wing Pilot: Must be one of the pilots for the new A-Wing.
Green-7: Hey. Ready to go?
Wedge: Yeah, 你 let me know how those A-Wings are. I might try one myself.
Green-7: Will do....
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added by Seanthehedgehog
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added by Seanthehedgehog
A different version with 更多 lyrics.
video
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awesome
funny
epic