Kid after dentist (LMAO)

嘿 there Delilah, I’ve been pacing the pews in a church corridor, but I’ve got a short attention span. I’m a natural disaster, and…oh, wait! Here I go again! I’m 灰姑娘 on her bedroom floor, oh dear Butcher, what happened? I’m gonna sleep my whole life away, cos I’m only waiting on the 下一个 best thing. I’m a sheepish wolf, but I only eat buttons. Don’t 你 even think of putting your teeth on me! Now I’m of consenting age, but I’m forever young. I’m the greatest thing you’d ever imagine, but I’m sick and tired of waiting in your red pick-up truck. I’m headed...

found this on the net:

29 Annoying Ways to Order a 比萨, 比萨饼

1. Start the conversation with "My call to (Pizza Place), take one... and... ACTION!"

2. If using a touch-tone phone, press 随意 numbers while ordering. Tell the person taking the order, "would 你 please stop doing that...?"

3. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

4. Do not name your toppings; rather, spell them out.

5. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

6. Order 52 pepperoni slices arranged in a fractal pattern following from an equation 你 are about to dictate. Ask if they're getting all of this...

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of

the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.




Only in America ......do people order

double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.





Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.





Only in America ......do we leave cars

worth thousands of dollars in the

driveway and put our useless 破烂, 垃圾 in the garage.




Only in America ......do we buy hot 狗 in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.




Only in America ......do we use the...

I actually cried coming up with this speech last night...I think it was even 更多 beautiful when I first came up with it.

If 你 were to think like me and look through multiple viewpoints of life and existence heck even trillions of different viewpoints from the stars to the planets and everything inbetween and beyond even through your best 老友记 eyes 你 would be blown away.
If 你 were to sit and truly think about it all 你 would realize that people come up with the formulas and the math and the science even though none of it exists. They try to stabilize existence and make it pure intel...