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posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear 超人 pajamas. 超人 wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a 心 attack. His 心 isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first 你 don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on 火, 消防 with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids 由 their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and 吉尔 in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. 吉尔 simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....
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posted by KateKicksAss
 This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
Of course, if 你 are TRULY random, 你 shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever 你 may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases 或者 monologues 或者 pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of 老友记 或者 logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if 你 got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and 你 can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...
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posted by invadercalliope
When 你 turn around, who is that behind you?
Bury your claws in the darkness and shred the night
The raindrops turn to drops of blood and trickle down your cheek
If 你 have no place to return to
Stop on this finger, on this finger of mine
Where the evening cicadas cry in the forbidden forest
你 cannot turn back anymore

__________________________________________________

furimuita sono ushiro no sorewa dare
kurayami ni tsume wo tatete yoru wo hikisaita
amadare wa chi no shizuku to natte hoho wo tsutaiochiru
mou dekonimo kaeru basho ga nainara
kono yubi tomare watashi no yubi ni
sono yubi goto tsuretetteageru
higurashi ga naku akazu no mori de
atomodori wa mou dekinai
"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and 由 brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in 床, 床上 and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...
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posted by yoshifan1976
Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse 桃子 was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", 桃子 told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a 吻乐队(Kiss) and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. 雏菊, 黛西 hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...
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added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
No, I seriously hate it whenever I hear kids talk about 迪士尼 and celebrities, they say crap like "OMG Justin Bieber is awesome!" "The Jonas Brothers are having a new movie!" "Have 你 watched Shake it up? It's the best thing 迪士尼 has made!"
It sickens me that parents allow their kids to watch & listen to the mediocre shit 迪士尼 Channel produces now rather than to have them watch & listen to some REAL 迪士尼 & music. Even the trash 电影院 like Prom, John Carter, Mars Needs Moms, and some of the 迪士尼 direct-to-video sequels are better than the crap 迪士尼 Channel has to offer....
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posted by hetalianstella
This is in no particular order.

- I hate how people automatically assume 你 are Chinese just because you're Asian, 或者 automatically assume 你 are Mexican just because 你 are Hispanic.

- How people always say they COULD care less when they COULDN'T care less!

- When people use an elevator.....for one floor!

- Perverts....I mean, I don't hate perverts. Some of my best 老友记 are perverts. But I'm not a pervert, so don't act like a pervert around me. Anywhere else is fine, but please respect my asexuality.

- When people overuse lol.
Especially when there is nothing funny!
Same with OMG. I...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
This is a My Little 小马 粉丝 fiction. If 你 do not like talking 马 that come in different colors, run for your life.



Song: link
 As the green lines come closer, so do the words.
As the green lines come closer, so do the words.


France, 1938

Two stallions were walking to a warden at a jail. They were outside, near the exit where all the prisoners were lined up.

SeanTheHedgehog Presents

Pierce Hawkins as....

Papillon

Police 小马 54: All present, and accounted for sir.
Warden: Thank you.

Also starring Dragonaura15's Metal Gloss

Police 小马 95: *Playing drums for five seconds*
Warden: As of this moment, 你 will all be transferred...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see.


On May 27, 2016, a war was started 由 a Hungarian named Gergely Szórád. He started this war on a website on the internet called Fanpop. He replaced an icon, using a picture that had Starlight Glimmer in it. Gergely also threatened to kill anyone that opposed the new 图标 he created. This angered millions, and 分裂, 拆分 the My Little 小马 fandom into two. The S.G. Bronies, (the bad guys), and the Anti S.G. Bronies, (the good guys.) This war also created a new law in April 12, 2018, all forms of entertainment...
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Just something I want to experiment with.. Even though it's not October it is kinda Halloweeny...



10: Jack the Ripper:
Let's start with then obvious for a 列表 like this, the guy who disemboweled and probably dissected prostitutes, while also 写作 taunting letters to police. If 你 heard of Black Dalia, well this guy did this too 'all' his victims. And as the story goes, he was never found..


9: Jane Topper:
To me there was always disturbing about "Jolly Jane", the nurse was suppose to help people but instead poisons them, and worse still, lies with them as they died. Apparently for sexual...
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Mapquest Driving Directions is a web mapping service that provides detailed driving directions, traffic updates, and maps for various modes of transportation, including cars, bicycles, and public transportation. Mapquest Driving Directions is available on the web, as well as on mobile devices through the Mapquest app.

Cruise control, on the other hand, is a feature found in many modern cars that allows drivers to set a constant speed for their vehicle. With cruise control, drivers can relax their feet and maintain a consistent speed without needing to constantly adjust the accelerator pedal....
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(All sources come from listed games and 名人 Wikipedia pages, Behind the Voice Actor pages, and 互联网电影数据库 pages)

You know, there’s a lot they don’t tell 你 about voice acting. One of those things is that voice 表演 is tough. Like really tough. Oh sure, a lot of people will tell you, “You don’t even gotta 显示 your face. This isn’t real acting.”. Those are the words of a person who has never attempted to read lines naturally on a piece of paper to convey emotions through just dialogue in their life. Also an idiot. But yeah, voice 表演 isn’t easy. Having to strain your voice...
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added by Ranty-cat
Source: Fb