Beauty of nature

嘿 this is the 5th episode of Nick Reviews! This is a very special review, as I shall review the most evil company...Video Brinquedo! Why is it evil? Takes plagiarizes every good kids movie! Here are some examples.

Offender #1: Gladiformers.

Do I even need to explain this one? It's a 变形金刚 knock off that doesn't come from the Dollar Tree/Store.

link

Offender #2: Ratatoing

This movie rips off Ratatouille, a 皮克斯 film. It pretty much has the worst animation, a terrible plot, and the voices are terrible.

Offender #3: Little and Big Monsters

Oh gosh, this rips off Monsters vs Aliens. The monsters...

(A/N) Still has gayness! cussing! and sex! so enjoy biggums! ^-^ xXx


~Ty's POV~

A week after Alice found out i was gay she invited Jason and I for some coffee.

"We should go, it would be fun" Jason 说 hugging me from behind.

"Coffee with my sister would be fun?" I asked grabbing his hands perched on my collarbone.

"Yeah, now that she knows, we can be ourselves, and we're pretty fucking awesome people" Jason 说 letting go and sitting on the couch.

I sat beside him, "Well, we are fucking awesome, fine we'll go."

Jason smiled and kissed my cheek.

I turned and kissed him on his lips.

I pulled away and...

Okay, first thing's first. Determine whether 或者 not 你 are actually in a horror movie. Let's weigh the factors:

* 你 are, most likely, a bored teenager with nothing to do.
* 你 are, most likely, considerably worthless to society.
* 你 are, most likely, an idiot.
* 你 have, most likely, attracted the attention of a maniac in the past 24 hours.
* You, for no reason in particular, are looking up hints on how to survive in a horror movie.

-----

The following rules apply universally to nearly all horror movies. Print them out and keep them in your wallet. Glance at them every five 分钟 或者 so. Memorize...

from the internet :)

1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

3. At stop lights, eye the person in the 下一个 car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

4. Two words: Chicken suit.

5. Write the words "Help me” on your back window in red paint. The 更多 it looks like blood, the better.

6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.

8. Stop at the green lights.

9. Go at the red ones.

10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie...

Man: Where have 你 been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen 你 someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this 座位 empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if 你 sit down.

Man: Your place 或者 mine?
Woman: Both. 你 go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do 你 do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: 嘿 baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do 你 like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world...

The following dumb laws are, 或者 were at some point, actually laws in the United States listed below. Now, before 你 go any further do know that I'm not a lawyer nor am I claiming any responsibilty if 你 bail off and do something stupid 或者 try using something here as a defense in court (rofl at that).

Alabama

In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday.
Putting...

爱情 and Marriage:

"If falling in 爱情 is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7


"Love is like an avalanche where 你 have to run for your life." -- John, age 9


"I think you're supposed to get shot with an 《绿箭侠》 或者 something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8


"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how 你 smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9


"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8


"Once...

Just randomly found this:

1. Throw 爆米花 in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can 你 fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling 爆米花 that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get 爆米花 yell, “I’m Batman! Hahaha!” and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit 下一个 to 你 because 你 invisible...

Mother kept girls locked away from the world for seven years
Three girls who were imprisoned 由 their mother in a house of indescribable filth for seven years may never recover from the ordeal, experts have said.

The girls were shut away from the outside world, existing in almost complete darkness, playing only with mice and communicating in their own language.

When they were discovered, their 首页 in a smart, upper middle-class suburb had no running water and was filled with waste and excrement a metre high. The floor was corroded 由 mice urine.

The case has stunned Austria, still reeling from...

1. 你 can do whatever 你 damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. 你 can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. 你 can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. 你 don't having to think about birth control, calendars 或者 ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. 你 can go out and flirt as much as your 心 desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet 座位 issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...

Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between 你 and the people in front of 你 while waiting in line.
Every time 你 pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind 你 in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let 你 off.
Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.
Speak in Spanish, 或者 pretend you're deaf and start making rapid...