Peaceful nature

Type out the sentence 你 end up in comments:

Pick the 月 你 were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March----------I karate chopped
April------------I licked
May------------I jumped on
June-----------I smelled
July------------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the 日 (number) 你 were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend...

There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question.
To he first he 说 "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just 爱情 alchol and being drunk man" so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and 描述 and he put the man inside and 说 "see 你 in 100 years" and locked the door.


To the 秒 man he asked the same 问题 and the man replied "oh man I just 爱情 to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the...