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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while 以前 and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask 你 somethingand i want 你 to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how 你 feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want 你 to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi 或者 Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog 食物 is a beautiful thing to watch when 你 are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when 你 sleeeeeep.

13. Bye 说 Santa while eating Blitzen.
added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: 谷歌
just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped 由 terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds 偷了 it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket 偷了 it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...
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posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall 墙 and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 秒 and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....
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posted by slytherin360
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten 分钟 intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people 你 can get to 加入 in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department 由 sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
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This was definitely the most difficult 列表 I've made so far. I even made a few changes when I was deciding the ranking. 你 can obviously tell that this wasn't easy and took A LOT of dedication in order for me to figure it out. First of all, I will only be talking about the 最佳, 返回页首 10 and just listing the other women and 展示 pictures. I figured that it not only makes it easier for me to make but also makes it easier for 你 guys to read and not be overwhelmed. I hope 你 enjoy it and keep in mind this is just my personal opinion. Please don't forget to 评论 and I can't wait to hear what...
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(WARNING: Profanity OUT OF THE WAZOO! Viewer discretion advised. Also, pie.)

(I will drive 你 to madness 由 letting 你 figure out why the heck I 说 pie. ;D)

Here's a trick question, what's one plus one? ^___^

JASON DERULO SUCKS.

Seriously, I don't mean to be mean, (BAD PUNS FTW!) But Jason Derulo.... He's not good. Almost every song he made is either bland, lame, forgettable, 或者 perverted as hell.

Some MASTERPIECES he made include Talk Dirty, In My Head, and......

Wiggle Wiggle. :P

(WHAT THE MOTHER FUCKING FUCK!?)

And then there's..... This song, I wouldn't call it Jason's worst song, but it's...
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These are my 最佳, 返回页首 15 LEAST 最喜爱的 名人 and just like with my 最佳, 返回页首 15 最喜爱的 名人 列表 I'm only basing this off who they are as a person, but I will talk about their talent as well. I will also tell 你 how attractive I think these people are because there are very few on here I find ugly and some I find very attractive, I'm just going to mention it just to 显示 that I'm not biased like some people. This one person who did a 列表 like this pretty much just 说 they were all ugly and even compared them to animals. Anyway, this is my 列表 and please keep in mind this is just my...
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added by shiriny
I've been planning to do this for a long time and now I'm finally doing it. I have voices of different variety and though some get a lot of criticism but I don't care. To me these women have such jaw dropping voices that never sises to amazing me. I'm going to name the singer, describe why I 爱情 her voice so much, and leave a link of where I think their voice sounds the best, whether if it's live, studio, 或者 movie. Please 评论 and please keep in mind this is just my opinion.

10.Liz Callaway
I've loved her voice ever since I was little and watched her in The 天鹅 Princess, Anastasia,...
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OK here's part 3 - remember these aren't in any particular order

41.
Name: Tom Ward (Actor)
From: Silent Witness
Character: Dr Harry Cunningham
Attraction: He's just so gorgeous - very manly



42.
Name: Andrew Gower (Actor)
From: Being Human
Character: Nick Cutler
Attraction: His mouth and the way he talks (if you've not seen Being Human - 你 should watch it just for him lol) - and he looks a little like David Thewlis (although maybe not so much in this picture)



43.
Name: Alex Pettyfer (Actor)
From: Beastly
Character: Kyle
Attraction: Think it's actually the hair for me



44.
Name: James Buckley...
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posted by iLuvLouisCarrot
“So, Louis, the rumor’s true? Are 你 really secretly dating someone?”
Diana asked,
I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat. It was all Harry’s fault. Everyone thought I was dating someone because he 说 that in the last interview we had.
For fucks sake, I didn’t know what the giddy aunt to say. I looked over at Harry, who was trying not to laugh.
“Yeah. Actually I am.”
It was a spur of the moment thing. I was just… errrggghhhhh.
The crowd gasped. Diana looked shocked. .
“Can 你 tell us who it is?”
She asked. She literally shoved the microphone in my face.
“I would tell you,...
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posted by Hinata-Snow
I got this from the joke app I have. Well, enjoy!

25 facts of life
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. 你 will never find anybody who can give 你 a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. People who feel the need to tell 你 that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling 你 that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed 由 the federal government is entertainment.
5. 你 should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests 你 think she's pregnant unless 你 can see an...
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Man: Where have 你 been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen 你 someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this 座位 empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if 你 sit down.

Man: Your place 或者 mine?
Woman: Both. 你 go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do 你 do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: 嘿 baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do 你 like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF 你 DON'T PASS THIS ON 你 DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All 日 long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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posted by rAsberrStrarS
吻乐队(Kiss) On The Lips-I 爱情 You
吻乐队(Kiss) On The Ear-You Are Special
吻乐队(Kiss) On The Nose-Laughter
吻乐队(Kiss) On The Cheek-Friendship
吻乐队(Kiss) On The Forehead-I Comfort You
吻乐队(Kiss) On The Neck-I Want You
吻乐队(Kiss) On The Shoulder-You Are Wonderful
吻乐队(Kiss) Anywhere Else-Be Careful
Play Around With Hair-Can't Live Without You
Holding Hands-Happiness
Arms Around Waist-You Are Mine,I Need You
A Hug-I Care
Nibble On Ear-Start Warming
Smiling At Each Other-I Like You
Lifting Eyebrows/Wink-Flirtation
Looking Around-Hiding True Feelings
Tender 吻乐队(Kiss) On The Side Of Your Lips-You're Mine
Wetting Your Lips-Waiting For A Kiss
Tear Drop-I'm Losing You
Crying-I 迷失 你
 Miku and Kaito
Miku and Kaito
20. Miku Hatsune and Kaito from "VOCALOID" I know it's kinda cheating because there voice synthesizers but there still animated in some of there 音乐 videos! There so cute together I had to put them on here.

19. Gakupo and Rin from "VOCALOID" I know I just did it again. But I 爱情 them 更多 then Kaito and Miku so they have to be on this too and besides the only other guy is her twin brother and I don't like incest.
 Gakupo and Rin
Gakupo and Rin

18. Ion and Esther from "Trinity Blood" Oh god I 爱情 these two they start out hating each other then become close 老友记 或者 maybe more...I'd like to think so....
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1. Q."Can I screw you?"
A.I would say: "No..."

2. Q/M."Would 你 mind if I read this?"*Holds up some porn magazine*
A. I would say: "I don't give a da**..."

3. Q/M. *Hugs 你 and takes a little something off 你 would like him not to*
A.I would slap him and say "Don't do that, da** it!"

4. Q. "Are 你 sure we can't f***?"
A. I would say: "If 你 say that agin...I swear I'm going to get ticked..."
5. Q. "That somehow arouses me..."
A. I would say:"Get aroused all 你 want, not like I care if 你 are 或者 aren't...As long as 你 don't jump around..."

6. Q. "I want to sign your shirt..."
A. I would say:...
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posted by Mallory101
Just some of my favorite quotes.
------------------------------------------------


•Dance like your vagina's on fire.

•Don't be a dick just grow one.

•He haunts me like a nightmare, his image is everywhere, he doesn't leave me alone, i can't escape him 或者 erase him, when i know he's not coming
home.

•If 你 want something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've done.

•How can I go 前锋, 期待 when I don't know which way I'm facing.

•No one is free, Even the birds are chained to the sky.

•And the feeling when I'm with you,right there, is the exact reason why I never gave up...
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