Fake Friends: Never ask for food.
Real Friends: are the reason 你 have no food.
Fake Friends: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
Real Friends: Call your parents Dad/Mom.(Or something along those lines ;] )
Fake Friends: bail 你 out of jail and tell 你 what 你 did was wrong.
Real Friends: Would sit 下一个 to 你 saying "Shoot ... we messed up ... but that was fun!"
Fake Friends: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
Real Friends: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.
Fake Friends: know a few things about you.
Real Friends: Could write a book about 你 with direct 语录 from you.
Fake...
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