随意

-when 你 ask someone for something and they try to annoy 你 because they have it and 你 don't

-school, you're there for 7 hours a day, they give 你 work 你 have to do at 首页 and 你 have almost no freedom

-JB, 1D, big time rush

-when your 老友记 call saying they'll come over and never 显示 up

-you like something your friend doesn't like so they HAVE to complain and say it sucks

-getting no freedom at your own 首页 and being controlled 由 your parents

-crab cake

-girly things

-uptight people who can't stand jokes and practically spit in your face if 你 make one "dirty" 或者 "wrong" joke

-overprotective...

ATTENTION PEOPLES OF HOGWARTS AND BEAUBATONS AND DURMSTRANG AND PIGFARTS AND ALL 你 MUGGLES INBETWEEN! I AM CHANGING THE STORY LINE PLOT THINGY FROM AL QUEDA ATTACKING AMERICA TO A WIZARDS BATTLE! PLEASE STILL ENJOY THE ORIGINAL AND TAKE CARE! I WILL POST THE NEW VERSION SOON!


This is a 随意 book I was 写作 about Al Queda attacking America, and I got the idea from my friend, who had a nightmare, and 说 I could write a book 或者 something. This is the first chapter, so I'd 爱情 it if 你 could post your thoughts about it, anything I could change, things 你 liked, things that didn't make...

The 伏特加 Hotline: 772-257-4492

Outsource-A-Breakup To India: 631-403-2029

Bible Stories in 60 Seconds: 240-258-4010

The "Free Marijuana" Hotline: 267-436-5129

The Divorce Hotline: 631-403-2016

IRS Tax Extension Help Line: 267-436-5139

The "Loud Talkin' Redneck" Hotline: 401-285-0705

A Life-Saving Message: 267-436-5115

"Twilight" Obsession Hotline: 973-409-3307

Ruminations: 631-403-2013

Tech-Support Hotline: 772-257-4678

Automated Sobriety Test: 781-452-3027

movie hotline 781-452-4066

Gay Marriage 辩论 Line: 413-497-0148

Beer Goggles Hotline: 954-482-4332

Your Status 更新 Are Annoying: 267-436-5224

"Travel...

I find homework to be arrogant and inefficient. Schools think they are so important that they can dictate whether 或者 not the kid can have time after school for other, also important things. yeah, we learned all this in class and some kids didn't get it, but first of all, it is not like nobody else in the class understood it, 秒 of all, they won’t get it any better without a teacher to help, and third of all, if they care enough to get anything out of their education anyway, they will ask somebody for help.
Of course, there are classes in which homework makes sense, such as my AP world...

1. Take someone's shopping 大车, 购物车 and switch the items with stuff from the person 下一个 to them's 大车, 购物车
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen 你 in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of 你 on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _____
6. 移动 "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas....

111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111...

When 你 are dating..... Farting is never an issue.
When 你 are married ....You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

When 你 are dating..... He takes 你 out to have a good time.
When 你 are married ....He brings 首页 a 6 pack, and says "What are 你 going to drink?"

When 你 are dating..... He holds your hand in public.
When 你 are married ....He flicks your ear in public.

When 你 are dating..... A Single 床, 床上 for 2 isn't THAT bad.
When 你 are married ....A King size 床, 床上 feels like an army cot.

When 你 are dating..... 你 are turned on at the sight of him naked....