"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do 你 want?" "I'm calling to 报道 my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hidingmarijuana inside his firewood." "Thank 你 very much for the call, sir." The 下一个 day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They searchthe shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, butfind no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Happy Birthday, Buddy!"
It all started when Chloe was in the 厨房 making cupcakes...
Chloe:I'm gonna bake these 纸杯蛋糕 in time for when Sara comes!
(Sara walks through the door)
Chloe: aw, s**t.
Sara:wha?
Chloe:wha?
(Jimmy walks through door)
Jimmy:hi
Sara:jimmy what the h**l are u doing here ur not supposed to be here jimmy:i dont care im stupid
Chloe:yay another stupid person
(derpy comes out if nowhere)
Derpy:WHAT DOES THE FOCKS SAY ? RINGADINGADINGADOO RINGADINGADINGADOO
Fluttershy(is watching in security room)
Fluttershy:what. the. f***k did i just see
THE END
Chloe:I'm gonna bake these 纸杯蛋糕 in time for when Sara comes!
(Sara walks through the door)
Chloe: aw, s**t.
Sara:wha?
Chloe:wha?
(Jimmy walks through door)
Jimmy:hi
Sara:jimmy what the h**l are u doing here ur not supposed to be here jimmy:i dont care im stupid
Chloe:yay another stupid person
(derpy comes out if nowhere)
Derpy:WHAT DOES THE FOCKS SAY ? RINGADINGADINGADOO RINGADINGADINGADOO
Fluttershy(is watching in security room)
Fluttershy:what. the. f***k did i just see
THE END
1. Empath. An empath is someone who can sense the emotions of others. They tend to feel drained after being an a crowd.
2. Shaman. Shamans can heal people and feel comfortable on nature. They sometimes feel protected 由 wild places, such as a forest.
3. Medium. Mediums can speak to the dead. They can sense the presense of a spirit and some have been visited 由 one.
4. Channeler. Someone who can act as a channel for a spirit 或者 other otherworldly being.
5. Clair. There are a few different types of clairs, but all it means is that 你 have a very strong sense of something. For example, someone who is clairvoyant can see things miles away.
6. Telepath. Someone who can comunicate mind-to-mind with someone.
7. Dowsers 或者 water witches. Someone who can locate water 或者 迷失 object with a rod 或者 wand.
8. Aura readers. Aura readers can see 或者 sense aura, 或者 energy.
9. Animal telepath. Someone who can communicate with animals.
10. Astral projector. Someone who can leave their body.
2. Shaman. Shamans can heal people and feel comfortable on nature. They sometimes feel protected 由 wild places, such as a forest.
3. Medium. Mediums can speak to the dead. They can sense the presense of a spirit and some have been visited 由 one.
4. Channeler. Someone who can act as a channel for a spirit 或者 other otherworldly being.
5. Clair. There are a few different types of clairs, but all it means is that 你 have a very strong sense of something. For example, someone who is clairvoyant can see things miles away.
6. Telepath. Someone who can comunicate mind-to-mind with someone.
7. Dowsers 或者 water witches. Someone who can locate water 或者 迷失 object with a rod 或者 wand.
8. Aura readers. Aura readers can see 或者 sense aura, 或者 energy.
9. Animal telepath. Someone who can communicate with animals.
10. Astral projector. Someone who can leave their body.
1.Determine how many times a week 你 eat 或者 want to eat chocolate. It must be a number between 1 and 10, including 1 或者 10.
Let's say 你 eat 浓情巧克力 8 times a week (we won't tell).
2.Multiply that number 由 2.
8 x 2 = 16
3.Add 5 to the 前一个 result.
16 + 5 = 21
4.Multiply that 由 50.
21 x 50 = 1050
5.Add the current 年 (Gregorian).
1050 + 2011 = 3061
6.Subtract 250 if you've had a birthday this year. If 你 haven't had a birthday this year, subtract 251.
(Let's say your birthday hasn't passed yet.)
3061 - 251 = 2810
7.(Assuming 你 were born in 1975...)
2810 - 1975 = 835
8.You'll end up with a 3 或者 4 digit number. The last two digits are your age (if you're under 10 years old there will be a zero before your age). The remaining one 或者 two digits will be the number of times per week 你 eat 或者 want 浓情巧克力 (the number 你 specified in the first step).
8 pieces of 浓情巧克力 a week, 35 years of age.
Let's say 你 eat 浓情巧克力 8 times a week (we won't tell).
2.Multiply that number 由 2.
8 x 2 = 16
3.Add 5 to the 前一个 result.
16 + 5 = 21
4.Multiply that 由 50.
21 x 50 = 1050
5.Add the current 年 (Gregorian).
1050 + 2011 = 3061
6.Subtract 250 if you've had a birthday this year. If 你 haven't had a birthday this year, subtract 251.
(Let's say your birthday hasn't passed yet.)
3061 - 251 = 2810
7.(Assuming 你 were born in 1975...)
2810 - 1975 = 835
8.You'll end up with a 3 或者 4 digit number. The last two digits are your age (if you're under 10 years old there will be a zero before your age). The remaining one 或者 two digits will be the number of times per week 你 eat 或者 want 浓情巧克力 (the number 你 specified in the first step).
8 pieces of 浓情巧克力 a week, 35 years of age.
5
Scarlet
I tried to brush Dominic's hair away from his eyes. This time he let me. He had one green eye that was a completely different pattern then the black one. His eye had been replaced.
"Your lucky," I said. "I heard in 3017 they couldn't do that." I continued. "you started being able to in 3018."
"I'm not lucky." He said,"it could have just not happened."
"What did happen?"
"It's a long story. 你 wouldn't like it anyway."
"No I really would."
"No. I don't want to talk about it."
"Ok. 你 can tell me if 你 ever want to."
"Ok. Well I won't."
Scarlet
I tried to brush Dominic's hair away from his eyes. This time he let me. He had one green eye that was a completely different pattern then the black one. His eye had been replaced.
"Your lucky," I said. "I heard in 3017 they couldn't do that." I continued. "you started being able to in 3018."
"I'm not lucky." He said,"it could have just not happened."
"What did happen?"
"It's a long story. 你 wouldn't like it anyway."
"No I really would."
"No. I don't want to talk about it."
"Ok. 你 can tell me if 你 ever want to."
"Ok. Well I won't."