dear Alice.
i don't know why i say alice anymore, i think now i write these emails to myself, to secure me that 你 were real, that 你 all were , that he was.
There is evidence that 你 were here. and was my best friend. But sometimes i dont know wheither i was dreaming 或者 not, But i stop that thought to think again, if it was a dream and 你 diddnt exist,then how did i know your name, 或者 did i make 你 up, along with every one else. Maybe i'm going crazy, from without 你 i dont know. But i want to find out. Do 你 think a crazy person can be the one to digiosed themselves?? Lets hope for my sake that they can.
I know 你 wont read this, 或者 that fact that 你 havent even read one. they jsut get sent back to me, unread, failed, jsut like i know this one will to.
But i think this is the only thing that stops me from doing what i shouldn't do. what ever that is.
Charlie would say hi, if he knew anything. I've been so quite that me andcharlie no longer talk.
And jake. Well, he reminds me of you. Your friendship, your beauty, your loveliness. And the easiness to be normal around, someone i diddnt have to try,that i will never experience again.
But jake could never replace you.
school sucks, i think only 你 and him was my only exucuse to get up and out of 床, 床上 for school.
i havent spoken to my mum in ages. she calls and calls and abuses dad. but i just cant. she will be too concerned and ask 问题 that i dont want to answer 或者 just hear.
Well i 爱情 你 alice. i have to make 晚餐 for charlie, in silence again..
talk to 你 in the 下一个 few days. funny how i say that, when i wont."

爱情 bella