1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When 你 sleep over never boss me around in 床, 床上 unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If 你 don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” 或者 “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If 你 want sex, just ask. (In case 你 didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only 模特 are able to wear most of the stuff 你 see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes 首页 and sees 你 in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, 或者 just plain naked.
12. 你 don’t need 《内衣少女》 to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank 最佳, 返回页首 are fine 由 us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that 你 may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true 或者 not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting 爱情 we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. 你 shouldn’t be flattered 或者 grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually 更多 when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach 你 not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so 淋浴 with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) 你 on 最佳, 返回页首 of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay 电影院 with 你 but don’t tell our friends.
30. 你 can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports 电影院 或者 “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as 你 think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one 更多 girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced 由 a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much 更多 attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. 你 can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when 你 are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of 你 it is because we are proud and want to 显示 你 off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether 你 want to do it with the lights on 或者 off.
42. Whip cream and 浓情巧克力 syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing 你 will ever do will entitle 你 to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be 说 after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play 更多 often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only 秒 to critiquing our 爱情 making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer 问题 we could be castrated.
48. If 你 ask us to go shopping 你 have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your 屁股 look fat. Your fat 屁股 makes your 屁股 look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.