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This is 由 far the weirdest lists I have ever seen, but funny nonetheless...

问题 ASKED OF THE SYDNEY OLYMPIC COMMITTEE

Here are some of the classic 问题 being asked of the Sydney Olympic
Committee via their Web site, and some 答案 that may be appropriate:

Q: I hear that all Australian women are beautiful. Is that true an if so,
can 你 send me pictures of the available ones? (Italy)
A: (Sure, there's only 8 million of them)

Q: I want to go swimming at Bondi 海滩 on October 20th. Will I turn blue?
(Germany)
A: (More likely brown, considering the effluent...)

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: (Depends on how much 啤酒 you've consumed...)

Q: I plan to take some 日 trips during the Olympics. Which direction
should I drive - Perth to Darwin 或者 Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving
with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
A: (Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in
Sydney.)

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney for the Olympics - can I follow the
railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: (Sure, it's only seven thousand miles, so you'll need to have started
about a 年 and a half 以前 to get there in time for the Games...)

Q: Is it 安全 to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: (And accomplish what?)

Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can 你 send me a 列表 of them in
Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: (No, and we use shells for money too)

Q: Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia? (Portugal)
A: (???)

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: (Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...)

Q: Do 你 have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: (No. Everybody stinks.)

Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)
A: (Yes, but only in sporting goods stores, peoples' garages, and most
national parks...)

Q: Do 你 celebrate 圣诞节 in Australia? (France)
A: (Yes. At Christmas.)

Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)
A: (Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.)

Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: (Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when 你 get here.)

Q: Can 你 give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: (What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?)

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is 牛奶 available all 年 round?
(Germany)
A: (A blonde?)

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: (Face North and 你 should be about right)

Q: I have a 问题 about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of 熊 and lives in trees. (USA)
A: (Another blonde?)

Q: Are there places in Australia where 你 can make 爱情 outdoors? Italy)
A: (Yes. Outdoors.)
I am the boy who never finished high school because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl who was kicked out of her 首页 because I confided in my mother I was a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who held her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled night.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in a hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away...
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