Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just
doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are 你 using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player
and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!



===============



Tech support: What kind of computer do 你 have?
Female customer: A white one...



===============



Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have 你 tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on
my desk... sorry....



===============



Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' 图标 on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left 或者 my left?



===============



Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would 你 click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
Gates, damn it!



===============



Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I
try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed
it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...



===============



Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do 你 have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.




===============



Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy 熊 my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.



===============



Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are 你 sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work



===============



Tech support: Your 密码 is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?



===============



Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are 你 sure 你 used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can 你 tell me what the 密码 was?
Customer: Five stars.



===============



Tech support: What anti-virus program do 你 use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.



===============



Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my
computer, but every time I 移动 the mouse, it disappears.





These are too good not to share




===============



Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm 写作 my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the
圈, 圈子 around it?



===============



A woman customer called the Canon help 台, 办公桌 with a problem with her
printer.
Tech support: Are 你 running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my 台, 办公桌 is 下一个 to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle 下一个 to me is under a window, and his
printer is working fine."



===============



And last but not least:....



Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task 列表 in the middle of the screen. Now
type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do 你 mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!