Chapter 2—A New Day…A New Chapter
    Right 下一个 to the right one…what if 你 are, and 你 just don’t know it? 或者 你 know it, and they don’t? That’s quite a pickle…why do they say that? Why is it a pickle? Why not say “oh, that’s quite a scone!” 或者 “what a 蔓越莓 muffin!” ah…so confusing. So I think that if 你 are going on a bike ride 你 don’t need to wear a helmet, 你 just need to wear one of those big hard headbands. That’s because I was riding in this really short car down a bumpy road and I hit my head on the ceiling. But it didn’t hurt. 你 wanna know why? Because I was wearing a big fat hard headband. Maybe that’s why people started wearing those. Maybe someone had on a bike 头盔 and the front and back got cut off, and it was just a hard strip. And then that strip happened to look very good on that person, and so they just kept it around for everyday use. And then someone saw them with it and cut up their own bike helmets and just wore the headbands instead. But then, over time, people forgot the safety features of these headbands and just started wearing them for fashion and fun, and someone reinvented the bike helmet, because people were not wearing their headbands while riding their bikes, and were getting their skulls cracked open. And then the rules were made that 你 have to wear your 头盔 when 你 ride your bike, so nobody was 《勇敢传说》 enough to bring back the headband helmets. And there 你 have it, the story of how helmets were turned into headbands and back again. Bing! I need a brain implant. I think that instead of breast implants and nose jobs and lip puffer-upper thingies they should offer brain implants. They would make so much 更多 money on brain implants than on any of other things because 更多 people are stupid and need brain implants. I would definitely get one if they were offered. I really need a calculator implanted into my brain, and soon too, I have finals 下一个 week. But if brain implants were available the math teachers would probably forbid them 或者 something, so i don’t know if that would be a very good idea anyways…oh well, it was a good idea when it came to mind…ha-ha and it would still be nice… oh well. 你 can’t have everything except for those smiley faces are really happy lookingthey make me warm and fuzzy inside! What if 你 actually got warm and fuzzy inside whenever 你 说 that? Like your insides started boiling and sprouted little fuzzy hairs like a baby chickens 或者 whatever. That’s kinda gross if 你 think about it. It’s also gross if 你 don’t think about it. 你 know what? It’s just gross. Period…times 2…+4…period.haha how’s that for a . ? I just wish it didn’t have that gigantic 太空 up there . . . oh well. That’s what 你 get when 你 want to make a point with your big .’S. 你 know what I like? Those big giant tortilla chip thingies. 你 know the big and round yellow things that taste like regular tortilla chips, but are really, really big? Actually, I don’t know if 你 do know. . . im just assuming that 你 know what im talking about, which I should probably never do, cos I hardly ever make much sense about anything. I also don’t make cents. Im totally broke. I wish I made cents. . . but I can’t find a way of doing that without actually working. . . so I guess I’ll just stay broke for a while until my birthday. It’s in a couple of months, I’ll get 由 on begging till then. Maybe I’ll start right now. I’ll be back later, im heading for the streets! Okay, so the streets (my driveway) wasn’t working. Turns out rich people don’t come down to the end of Driven Trail very much at 5:00 on a Wednesday…well, I didn’t expect very much 更多 than a couple of birds and maybe a 松鼠 或者 two. And they don’t carry any money on them, cos they don’t have pockets. What if they did have pockets? It would be really funny to see a 山雀 或者 a 松鼠 running around in the mud in a little dress 或者 mini, miniscule little jeans and a jacket! And they could have pockets just big enough to stuff a folded up twenty in there. Only the pockets would like take up the entire 衬衫 if they were that big… oh well. Maybe I’ll make some little teeny clothes and lay them out on the porch and see if they’re gone in the morning. Only if they are gone, it probably means that my 狗 ate them… oh well, at least their stomachs will be warm! 你 cannot have a cold stomach. If your stomach was cold all the chewed up 食物 would just freeze into a big mushy gross looking ice cube. And it would just stay in there forever. I wonder if that’s why 吸血鬼 can’t eat regular food. Their skin is so cold that any 食物 they ate would just freeze into lumpy brown ice. Wow, that explains a lot! It’s funny how much 你 can learn while just rambling on and on like im doing now! I think that when 你 think 你 don’t think of as many good ideas, don’t 你 think so? When you’re thinking you’re actually thinking about something, so there’s no room in your brain for new 更多 interesting ideas. If you’re not thinking about anything in particular, and just 写作 down anything that comes into your mind a lot of very interesting educational stuff comes into your mind. Like about the cold stomachs and the song slugs and the headband helmets and stuff. Ah, the things the brain comes up with! Fascinating, fascinating! I could spend all 日 talking about it (don’t get scared, I won’t).

haha! there 你 go! the 秒 installment of my awesome book!