How is it going, everyone. Welcome back to Watching Outside Your Xbox Window While 你 Rant at Night. I’m your host, TatsMojo, and today, we’ll be taking a look at the strangest video games that 你 have never heard of. Number 10: Katamari Damacy. This strange little gem was made on the weird side of the world, Japan. You’ve probably never heard of this (What the fuck am I doing?)
In all seriousness, when I hear about these weird games and the whole, “What were these developers doing? Snorting LSD and drinking PSP and doing funny weed?” is a mindset that just screams that 你 really don’t care and try to evaluate the property you’re looking at. Even the weirdest kinds of games out there, like Katamari Damacy, Killer7, and others of the same category of fucking nuts have a reason to the madness, a sort of point to the insanity. Be it to build the world, be it to make a point in a sort of exaggerated manner, 或者 just to create a unique world that has some method to the madness. Unless 你 make something for the sake of 展示 off insane visuals for the sake of insane visuals, there’s usually 更多 to something than just the creators being on all the drugs. I think any 粉丝 of rock 音乐 from the 70s and 80s knows how annoying it can be. And today's game is no exception to the crazy, wacky, nutso world of Chulip. There is a point to this oddity, and I want to 显示 it to 你 all. But this game is a game that has driven me and may drive many others to the brink of madness, and not because of the weird concept. We’ll get into why down the road.
Chulip was a strange little game made 由 the now defunct Punchline, made up of staff from the also now defunct Love-de-Lic Inc.. Love-de-Lic was known mostly for the game Moon: RPG Remix, a game that was Japanese exclusive for a long time before recently getting an English port to the Switch. It was mostly known here as being one of the earliest of the 更多 meta narrative JRPG games and was one of the inspirations for the game Undertale. They also made games like UFO: A 日 in the Life and LOL: Lack of Love. However, the studio would disband in 2000 and 分裂, 拆分 into three other studios. Those being Skip Ltd., responsible for the Chibi-Robo games on Gamecube. Vanpool Inc., who work on 任天堂 games, the most 最近的 one being Kirby Fighters 2, also responsible for those fucking weird 日本 only Tingle games. And last, Punchline, with only two games under their belt. Today's game, Chulip. And the forever illusive horror game, Rule of Rose. Aside from Rule of Rose being banned in 欧洲 for the extreme graphic material that it had, Chulip didn’t exactly get much chance either. The game spent four years in delay for it’s American release. Chulip released in 日本 on October 3rd, 2002. But it didn’t come out in America until February 13th, 2007. And not only that, it was a Gamestop Exclusive game. Oooh, 你 were just destined to die. Along with it being extremely Japanese in an American market, along with being met with scathing reviews from critics on release, this game stood no chance. It’s no wonder why of the three studios mentioned, Skip, Vanpool, and Punchline, the only one to perish was Punchline. If not thanks for Natsume, the team behind the Harvest Moon games, I don’t think Chulip would ever come out at all. And was the wait worth it. Yes!... No… Maybe… I honestly don’t know. And 由 the end, I hope, 你 will also not know.
The game takes place in a fictional Japanese countryside town called Long Life Town. 你 play as a young boy, not cannonly name, so for the sake of convenience, let’s name him Shu. So Shu moves into this town with his single dad into a poverty ridden house at the back end of the town, and is already hit with judgemental eyes from the neighbors for being so goddamn poor. But our young boy Shu gets a dream of a girl in it, his very own dream babe. And turns out, the babe in his dream is an actual real life resident of the town. But Shu is a coward and hasn’t the 心 to 吻乐队（Kiss） her. But with the help of an actual goblin that lives underground, Shu is on a mission to get to the girls 心 由 gaining confidence 由 接吻 other residents of the town and getting the experience he needs to woo her. Complete with all the fun things like zombie lolita girls, a prison factory, 垃圾箱, 垃圾站 diving, alcoolism, police committing hate crimes, and more. It’s not all fun and games here in Long Life Town. Immediately, I was sucked into the weirdness of this game the 秒 I started. All the characters have these exaggerated expressions that give them a sort of muppet style to them. It’s simplistic, but it gives them this sort of play doll look and I find their exaggerated designs really charming. I 爱情 this big mouth on our boy Shu here. He looks so shocked at just every minor thing and seeing his reactions of joy to just fishing potatoes out of the fucking trash can for 食物 is quite charming. I approve of this as a fellow potato fucker. There’s 更多 strange designs to be found throughout. The Policeman having this giant, almost robotic head that moves back and forth like some machine. The teachers being disguised as oil barrels, stop signs, and telephone poles having to maneuver in such a way of their, for lack of a better term, disability. I really like the shopkeeper outside the store. He has this spinning head that has two expressions, a grump cigarette and book seller outside, but when 你 go into the train, he rushes from the stand to the ticket booth and turns into a 更多 charming demeanor. I wish 更多 games had this sort of charm with their merchants nowadays. I guess with Undetale having so many fun shopkeepers, it keeps that spirit alive. Toby 狐狸 really was inspired 由 Yoshiro Kimura, it seems (That’s the creator of the game, 由 the way). Another thing I find really charming is the settings of the place. The area is located near a country side, so 你 gotta take trains from place to place, which is really atmospheric (At first, but we’ll get to that in a bit). 你 have a set number of places to go to. Worldly Desire Temple, a graveyard with an old temple at the top, and a cave in the back of it. Scarecrow Field, which is this farm land with a field to plant seeds in. And Funny Bone Factory, which is… just…. Great (Again, we’ll get to that later). All these places have a distinct feature to them, all with their own set of characters and settings. Like I really enjoy going to the shopping district of Long Life Town and checking out the married couple that runs the bar, 或者 seeing the slacker musician playing for money. I really like seeing the Monk go back to the temple after a 日 of asking for donations to the temple. And I liked seeing the workers go to and from the factory and go straight 首页 robotically every 日 (Until I didn’t, but again, we’ll get there).
The thing that really adds to the atmosphere of this game is the soundtrack. Done 由 the composer, Hirofumi Taniguchi, who I can’t find much on, but it seems they also did the soundtrack for Moon, along with redoing it for the re-release on Switch. That’s good to know they are still working on these niche titles. But the 音乐 is something really special. It’s unlike anything I’ve heard before. With all sorts of soft music, the countryside has this jazz drum with humming. The town theme has this mumbling lyrics mixed with kazoo that just kind of works to give it that laid back, lazy feeling of going around town as a kid. And I 爱情 hearing the 音乐 of the town drown out when 你 go into the bar and play this lyrical music, as lyrical as 你 can get when characters speak in Animal Crossing language. But when it turns night, the 音乐 fades, and it’s just the sound of the ambience. The train going through the town making its last stops, 狗 barking in the distance, the sound of crickets and frogs in the lake. All while 你 sit at the train stop, waiting for the last train 首页 with only the warm glow from the lamp above illuminating the darkness. This shit is really chill and I enjoy it. That being said, it doesn’t motivate me to explore this game. While I do enjoy finding the residents and 接吻 them to get the satisfaction, as well as learning about them in the 照片 album, seeing the letters they send and how they feel about the interaction, and just seeing the strange 设计 they have, what I don’t enjoy is basic exploring. Because just the act of examining could spell your death.
That’s right. Chulip, this time management game about 接吻 people, has a health bar. And it has game overs. And if 你 game over, it’s back to your last save. And that could mean going all the way back into town if 你 are out of town and having to set everything back. Just the act of looking at stuff can get 你 killed. Look at a globe in the park, it spins and kills 你 at a low level. Ride the slide? 你 trip and get hurt. Ride the swing? 你 jump off and it… heals you. Well then what the hell am I supposed to do? Not look at stuff? Even the act of looking in the trash for goodies could net 你 shit. Like, no joke, literal shit as an item 你 carry. And it hurts you. But sometimes 你 need to do it. Oh, sure, sometimes 你 can avoid the damage, but the game won’t tell 你 that. At the factory, 你 can press the buttons, X, Triangle, Circle, X, and not only avoid the embarrassment of not knowing the factory’s stretches, but also get a potato. But the game doesn’t tell 你 that, so 你 could play this game, get hurt every time, and just assume that it’s going to happen every time, unless 你 由 chance start pushing buttons and learn, 或者 just look up a guide. After a while, I just decided to use the guide, because I was scared something would just kill me. How am I supposed to know that just the act of talking to a friendly NPC and having him call me stinky would get me hurt? That’s not fair. But, whatever, 你 live, 或者 你 die, but 你 reload your save, 你 learn, 你 go on with the game and wait for something else to fuck you. Like mayhaps video game stuff that is unavoidable, like getting hit 由 lightning when 你 solve the grave puzzle. Okay, well, fuck 你 for that one game. So yeah, 你 better be 接吻 people. A lot of people. Which thankfully, I did. Because man, do I 爱情 these characters.
There are two groups of people in this game. The Underground Resident, and the Above Residents. And while the underground residents are made up of all sorts of strange enigmas, like a 音乐 box player, a boxer, a man with an assault rifle, a 蜘蛛 with lips on it’s asshole, a walking puzzle, a man who swims in concrete, a wizard, an angry voodoo doll, and an actual gimp, they seem to be less insane than the resident that occupy your town. They live underground, get no pay, and no thanks, despite keeping the town's water and electricity running, but they seem to be happy in their mad underground world, where the people above ground, they’re depressed and they’re crazy. Like I genuinely came to 爱情 most of these characters for their strange behavior and their outlooks on life. There’s the local doctor, Dr. Dandy, who is all about health that he helps people for free, yet he falls asleep all the time at work and can’t even cure his own sickness that he’s suffering from. There’s the married couple who are the parents of Shu’s dream girl, Julie and Goro, who live in a miserable life, the wife having to run the bar and make due despite her 迷失 唱歌 career while her failed director husband fails to sell potatoes, and only goes 首页 to get drunk as he complains about his directing days. One of my 收藏夹 is Batayan, a slacker who just wants to make music, but also needs money to survive. And when 你 get him a job at the factory, he is ecstatic. But slowly, he becomes tired, exhausted. He has to travel out of town 由 two trains to get to the factory, works there from 8:30 AM to 4 in the evening, then gets on the train, taking him hours just to get home, where he goes to sleep for four hours before doing it all again tomorrow. The dude’s fucking miserable and just wants to sing, but needs money. It isn’t until 你 火, 消防 him after becoming the president of the factory (Long story), then talking to him where he realizes he is fine being poor. He would rather be poor, doing what he loves, then to be rich and miserable. This game has all sorts of depression humor like that, all mixed with how characters feel like society does not care about them and how they struggle just to get by. This game is the perfect millennium game, feeling exhausted from work to work on your passions, feeling that you’d be better off dead than working for a minimum wage check every day, hating everyone and drinking your troubles away, counting down the last days of your life until your death. This game has all sorts of wacky cartoon antics and oddness to it, but it hides all the 更多 depression, 更多 serious topics behind the scenes. Stuff like being accused of crimes because 你 live in poverty 由 police, domestic abuse and alcoholism, depression, feeling trapped in your job, dealing with loss. The game is all kinds of sad. The game is charming and funny, but really sad. This game can make 你 glad, and this game can make 你 sad. But this game can also make 你 really, really fucking mad.
While I’ve been 唱歌 this game's praises, I have to admit, this game can have me invested one moment, but it can drive me to the brink of rage the next, especially from the abundance of annoying, unfair deaths, cryptic 屁股 puzzles, and waiting. So much waiting. If 你 play Chulip, please, I implore you, do not go for every kiss. 你 don’t have to get every kiss. 你 can get a lot, and I really do recommend getting all the above ground kisses, but anything else will just frustrate you. Aside from the fact that underground residents have a point when 你 can 吻乐队（Kiss） them, it’s randomized. 你 can’t just go to their spot at night and 吻乐队（Kiss） them, of course not. 你 gotta wait for a specific moment. Sure, some of them have puzzle solving. 茄子 Boy wants 你 to eat an 茄子 in front of him to get a kiss. Jamtrack wants 你 to stand on the parts of the sand that he calls out. Jigsaw wants 你 to find the puzzle piece that matches his face. But most of them only want 你 to let them walk around and wait until they just become happy to 吻乐队（Kiss） them. And it could be 随意 when they do this. Sometimes they do it often. But other times, they could just… not. They can also run into 你 and knock 你 down, and while you’re getting up, they can get happy, but stop as soon as you’re on your feet again. If 你 吻乐队（Kiss） them before the moment, they will hit 你 and it may even kill you. Regardless, if 你 wait too long, they will leave and 你 have no chance of getting them until 你 either reload your save, 或者 go do something else 或者 sleep 或者 read a book at the train station to pass time until the time comes for them to emerge again. And there are fifty kissable characters, only thirteen of them are above ground residents with their own stories. I’m not saying I want more, because what I got was great, but do they really gotta randomize the moment they can be kissed and put it on strict time limits? I 爱情 time management games. Some of my 最喜爱的 games ever, being Persona 4, Animal Crossing, and Majora’s Mask, are all about managing your time. But when most of my time is spent waiting twelve in game hours 阅读 a book, then spending some time standing at the spot because I’m scared I’ll skip the meeting otherwise does not feel remotely fun. It feels like I’m just waiting around and the charm of the night setting really starts to turn from something charming into something frustrating. I 说 we’d get to Funny Bone Factory, so here we go.
This is a scenario that I got to. So to get one piece of the 爱情 letter set needed to beat the game, 你 gotta go into the factory and become the president. After suggesting Batayan to work there, the factory thanks 你 由 making 你 a manager card to come in and look around. 你 ride the tram into the factory, and do the exercise like I mentioned before. Do it right 或者 get hurt and risk death. But I assume 你 survived. So 你 have to talk to the workers to find which one has a lazy guard. One of the four areas has this. After that, hide, and wait for the guard to leave. Then input the code 你 got from the old manager into the tram numbers and 你 will open the 安全 on the roof, and congrats. You’re the boss of the company. It’s weird, but the puzzles give 你 hints and it has a funny pay off. And 你 complete your goal. Not bad… But if 你 want to get all the kissable residents inside the factory, get fucking ready. So 你 get to Funny Bone Factory and start 阅读 your book at the train station. 你 arrived after every other worker was going in, so 你 can’t go in. No, 你 can’t go in at any point. 你 go in while everyone else is going in, 或者 you’re not going in until tomorrow. So after 你 wait, and I’ll assume 你 kissed the resident outside the factory and got the save room for this area. So 你 save outside the factory, 8:30 rolls around, and 你 get to go in. 你 do your stretches, get hurt again because fuck you, and 你 have to get to the two people inside the factory during the day. Being Batayan for his 吻乐队（Kiss） later, and the Plow Driver in the fourth area. 你 can NOT go to these areas how 你 want. 你 have to go to them on a set order at a set time. 你 leave when the game says 你 can leave. Batayan is in the 秒 of the four areas, while the Plow Driver is in the fourth. But remember that lazy security guard? Well he could be in any one of the four areas. 你 have to ask the employees in each area if it’s him. Thankfully, 你 don’t gotta ask every employee. It’s always the same one in all four areas. But if the security guard isn’t the one in the fourth area, 你 have no way of getting to the plow driver without not getting the underground residents at night. So let’s say, 由 some miracle, 你 get the security guard to be in the fourth area. 你 hide and wait for night and now 你 have twelve in game hours before the guards come back and toss your ass. There are now five underground residents. 你 need to remember the codes to get to each of the five spots. The first site, Factory Under Construction. Site 2, Operating Factory. Then Factory Under Construction, then New Factory Site, then the roof. Each has a different code to put on the tram to send 你 there. One is on the roof at 8PM to 11PM, and he is 随意 when he will be kissable, and can knock into 你 and waste time. After that, there’s one in the 秒 area, that is very sporadic with his movements and could not be kissable if 你 aren’t ready. Then go to the fourth area to find one that wants 你 to find the other half of his face in a pile of other faces. Thankfully, it’s easier than it sounds, as his face is different looking than the others in your inventory, but he leaves in an hour. Then it’s back to the 秒 area to 吻乐队（Kiss） one guy who could not be kissable at all. He could just 显示 up then fuck off without giving 你 a chance. Then 你 gotta go to the third area and let the guy there scream two times without letting him follow you, then 你 can 吻乐队（Kiss） him. After that, 你 gotta leave the factory before night. And no, being the president doesn’t mean 你 can explore the factory on your own 或者 at night. If 你 miss one, 你 gotta do the fucking tour again, the stretching, the hiding, and running around for a chance to 吻乐队（Kiss） them, and can still mess up because it’s random. And if you’re thinking, “Nik, what the fuck were 你 even saying in this entire paragraph!? You’re not making any fucking sense!?” EXACTLY! When I have to redo all of this shit over and over again just to 吻乐队（Kiss） one person who may not even activate, I get really, really mad, and I feel I just wasted my time and now I have to go back and waste 更多 of my time just to 吻乐队（Kiss） them. But when the game isn’t frustrating 你 with giving it to 你 straight but not actually letting 你 have it, it’s cryptic as all hell.
The game is usually fair in the first 2/3rds of the game. The puzzles are weird, and a lot of the bullshit deaths can be forgiven. But it’s when we get to Scarecrow Field and have to get a 吻乐队（Kiss） from the alien does the game become really cryptic. Throughout the game, as 你 吻乐队（Kiss） certain people, they may drop for 你 an Alien Dictionary, which allows 你 to read on the aliens language. Which is a nice way to help 你 figure out what he needs. A Computer, a Refrigerator, and a Frying Pan. But wait, we’re not done yet. After he makes his computer, he needs to figure out what else he needs. He turns a building nearby into a giant 音乐 box… um, okay… And then after that, 你 have to go and find the right notes to the 音乐 box. But the game doesn’t tell 你 that 你 need to find a set of 星, 星级 Seeds in the field nearby and plant them in the nearby garden. Like, how was anyone gonna know that. But, look, fine. 你 could come to that 由 exploring this part at 随意 and finding the seeds. Seeds go into the dirt. There’s only one spot for plantable dirt, and the one side won’t take vegetable seeds. So 你 put it there and get the notes. But when 你 get the notes, 你 can’t put it into the machine, because it’s missing something. What is it? What can 你 put onto the computer, increase inside, and put into the giant 音乐 box to play the notes? Well duh, dumbass. Funny Cola. A drink from the vending machine in Long Life Town. I… have no idea what that means. In the aliens language, 足球 means Canned Juice. But there’s no sign of 足球 on there, and that could mean anything. There’s no 足球 ball on the vending machine that produces the Funny Cola. I’m looking at this flabbergasted. Like there’s no fucking way anyone was going to know that without either forcing everything in the entire game into the goddamn computer. Apparently, the solution was simple in Japanese but the solution got 迷失 in translation, but good god, that is frustrating. And this is a mandatory puzzle to solve in order to beat the game. Like 你 need to 吻乐队（Kiss） this alien to prove 你 had contacts with aliens to impress the alien obsessed teacher so she’ll give 你 the piece of the 爱情 Letter Set. This game can have some of the highest highs and the lowest fucking lows. But I don’t want to end this review on huge negativity, so let’s talk about the ending, something I’m sure few Americans have seen. And if 你 want to play this game, skip this 下一个 paragraph to avoid spoilers
(!!!!!!!!!!SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF CHULIP AHEAD!!!!!!!!!)
So after getting the full letter set and making the letter, the mailbox in the town stops working, and 你 are left with no choice but to explore the town. Eventually finding the telephone wire resident having dug a hole deep into the sand in the park. And also your dad was the president of the school, is also a weirdo goblin, and this was all an elaborate method to strengthen Shu’s 心 in order to be better with women. But there is one final test, and it’s at the bottom of the hole. Falling down puts 你 into some… fucking weird place. 你 are now having to test your logic of what 你 learned about the town, the residents, and having to reach the bottom of the dream girls heart, figuratively and maybe literally. First test, picking the real head of her father, Goro. It’s easy if 你 just pick the right one. But after that, it’s a real challenge. Her mother, Julie, is on trial of the chickens for cooking them for 食物 in her bar, and 你 have to choose the witnesses from the town and decide which ones are the ones who like her chicken. A lot of people in town don’t, but with the testimony of those that 爱情 her cooking, 你 pass and can 移动 onto the last trial, and it’s honestly intimidating. 你 meet with the dream girls’ pet cat, the one who knows her the best, and it pins 你 against answering twenty 问题 about the town. A lot of them are so damn vague like the number for the hospital 或者 the number of drinks Policeman drinks. But if 你 have explored the town enough, and gotten to know these characters, 你 can prevail. It all comes down to hoping 你 can survive the 猫 onslaught of questions, and attacks if 你 get them wrong, 由 testing how much 你 invested in this town. And since I actually came to enjoy a lot of these characters, I found myself really enjoying them. I was glad I got to know them, got to help out their problems, and see them for the better. Batayan, the slacker, is poor, but he’s playing music, and it makes him happy. Julie and Goro, despite living in a crappy bar with their dreams lost, they have each other and are able to handle that. Michelle is able to cut out her alcoholism and go to eating Eggplants to keep herself calm. Dr. Dandy is able to go back to working and helping patients now that his sickness is gone. Mika is able to pass on in peace after seeing her high school lover enjoy the 茶 she had made before her death. And much more. It’s just nice to see that this game has a message to it. That no matter how bad things get, no matter how miserable 你 think 你 are, having someone 显示 genuine kindness to you, to help 你 out just because they want to, and 显示 that 你 care, it really gives this game a hopeful message in sight of all the cynicism and I think that’s really nice… It’s just a shame I hate playing this game.
(!!!!!END OF SPOILERS!!!!!)
Man, this is a damn shame. Chulip is a game that has so much meta commentary, a dark sense of humor that was way ahead of its time, and some charming characters, music, and settings that will stick with me for a long time, all wrapped up in a game I despise. I 爱情 this game so much and know it will stick with me hours after I play it, but the tedium, the insanity that bleeds out into the gameplay in the worst ways, the constant frustration, makes me so angry, that I never want to play this game ever again. I would 爱情 to see Chulip get revived as a sort of 日本漫画 comic 或者 a cartoon of sorts 或者 something. I think that this setting is something fascinating and I admire the work that the team put into this game. But no, I can’t play this game again. It was torture to play. Tedious, frustrating, dull torture. Chulip would go on to pretty much gain cult status in America, but nothing more. It was ported to the PS3 as a PS2 classic, which… Really? This game? I mean, it’s definitely unique and has good parts of it, and I would much prefer spending $10 to the usual $150 for a physical copy, but really? Of all the games? Oh well. The creator of this game, Yoshiro Kimura would produce and 设计 other games later on, including being the producer of the No 更多 超能英雄 games, and would go on to work for Marvelous Entertainment and work as combat designer for Romancing SaGa 3, released in 2019. I hope that this man can find work as a director again. He’s talented. Chulip was a frustrating game, but I won’t lie and say that it’s a charming little game that definitely shows the talent of the team behind it. I hope they can get another chance to make something great.
Award: Endurance Test. Endurance of the highest caliber. Do not go for 100% on this game if 你 can help it. And for the 爱情 of god, play it with a walkthrough. I won’t tell 你 if 你 should play this game 或者 not, because this is one of those weird titles that kind of needed to be played to form your own opinion on, but it’s not without its good moments. Moments of fun, of charm, and of genuine joy. Just be ready for some really annoying mechanics.
In all seriousness, when I hear about these weird games and the whole, “What were these developers doing? Snorting LSD and drinking PSP and doing funny weed?” is a mindset that just screams that 你 really don’t care and try to evaluate the property you’re looking at. Even the weirdest kinds of games out there, like Katamari Damacy, Killer7, and others of the same category of fucking nuts have a reason to the madness, a sort of point to the insanity. Be it to build the world, be it to make a point in a sort of exaggerated manner, 或者 just to create a unique world that has some method to the madness. Unless 你 make something for the sake of 展示 off insane visuals for the sake of insane visuals, there’s usually 更多 to something than just the creators being on all the drugs. I think any 粉丝 of rock 音乐 from the 70s and 80s knows how annoying it can be. And today's game is no exception to the crazy, wacky, nutso world of Chulip. There is a point to this oddity, and I want to 显示 it to 你 all. But this game is a game that has driven me and may drive many others to the brink of madness, and not because of the weird concept. We’ll get into why down the road.
Chulip was a strange little game made 由 the now defunct Punchline, made up of staff from the also now defunct Love-de-Lic Inc.. Love-de-Lic was known mostly for the game Moon: RPG Remix, a game that was Japanese exclusive for a long time before recently getting an English port to the Switch. It was mostly known here as being one of the earliest of the 更多 meta narrative JRPG games and was one of the inspirations for the game Undertale. They also made games like UFO: A 日 in the Life and LOL: Lack of Love. However, the studio would disband in 2000 and 分裂, 拆分 into three other studios. Those being Skip Ltd., responsible for the Chibi-Robo games on Gamecube. Vanpool Inc., who work on 任天堂 games, the most 最近的 one being Kirby Fighters 2, also responsible for those fucking weird 日本 only Tingle games. And last, Punchline, with only two games under their belt. Today's game, Chulip. And the forever illusive horror game, Rule of Rose. Aside from Rule of Rose being banned in 欧洲 for the extreme graphic material that it had, Chulip didn’t exactly get much chance either. The game spent four years in delay for it’s American release. Chulip released in 日本 on October 3rd, 2002. But it didn’t come out in America until February 13th, 2007. And not only that, it was a Gamestop Exclusive game. Oooh, 你 were just destined to die. Along with it being extremely Japanese in an American market, along with being met with scathing reviews from critics on release, this game stood no chance. It’s no wonder why of the three studios mentioned, Skip, Vanpool, and Punchline, the only one to perish was Punchline. If not thanks for Natsume, the team behind the Harvest Moon games, I don’t think Chulip would ever come out at all. And was the wait worth it. Yes!... No… Maybe… I honestly don’t know. And 由 the end, I hope, 你 will also not know.
The game takes place in a fictional Japanese countryside town called Long Life Town. 你 play as a young boy, not cannonly name, so for the sake of convenience, let’s name him Shu. So Shu moves into this town with his single dad into a poverty ridden house at the back end of the town, and is already hit with judgemental eyes from the neighbors for being so goddamn poor. But our young boy Shu gets a dream of a girl in it, his very own dream babe. And turns out, the babe in his dream is an actual real life resident of the town. But Shu is a coward and hasn’t the 心 to 吻乐队（Kiss） her. But with the help of an actual goblin that lives underground, Shu is on a mission to get to the girls 心 由 gaining confidence 由 接吻 other residents of the town and getting the experience he needs to woo her. Complete with all the fun things like zombie lolita girls, a prison factory, 垃圾箱, 垃圾站 diving, alcoolism, police committing hate crimes, and more. It’s not all fun and games here in Long Life Town. Immediately, I was sucked into the weirdness of this game the 秒 I started. All the characters have these exaggerated expressions that give them a sort of muppet style to them. It’s simplistic, but it gives them this sort of play doll look and I find their exaggerated designs really charming. I 爱情 this big mouth on our boy Shu here. He looks so shocked at just every minor thing and seeing his reactions of joy to just fishing potatoes out of the fucking trash can for 食物 is quite charming. I approve of this as a fellow potato fucker. There’s 更多 strange designs to be found throughout. The Policeman having this giant, almost robotic head that moves back and forth like some machine. The teachers being disguised as oil barrels, stop signs, and telephone poles having to maneuver in such a way of their, for lack of a better term, disability. I really like the shopkeeper outside the store. He has this spinning head that has two expressions, a grump cigarette and book seller outside, but when 你 go into the train, he rushes from the stand to the ticket booth and turns into a 更多 charming demeanor. I wish 更多 games had this sort of charm with their merchants nowadays. I guess with Undetale having so many fun shopkeepers, it keeps that spirit alive. Toby 狐狸 really was inspired 由 Yoshiro Kimura, it seems (That’s the creator of the game, 由 the way). Another thing I find really charming is the settings of the place. The area is located near a country side, so 你 gotta take trains from place to place, which is really atmospheric (At first, but we’ll get to that in a bit). 你 have a set number of places to go to. Worldly Desire Temple, a graveyard with an old temple at the top, and a cave in the back of it. Scarecrow Field, which is this farm land with a field to plant seeds in. And Funny Bone Factory, which is… just…. Great (Again, we’ll get to that later). All these places have a distinct feature to them, all with their own set of characters and settings. Like I really enjoy going to the shopping district of Long Life Town and checking out the married couple that runs the bar, 或者 seeing the slacker musician playing for money. I really like seeing the Monk go back to the temple after a 日 of asking for donations to the temple. And I liked seeing the workers go to and from the factory and go straight 首页 robotically every 日 (Until I didn’t, but again, we’ll get there).
The thing that really adds to the atmosphere of this game is the soundtrack. Done 由 the composer, Hirofumi Taniguchi, who I can’t find much on, but it seems they also did the soundtrack for Moon, along with redoing it for the re-release on Switch. That’s good to know they are still working on these niche titles. But the 音乐 is something really special. It’s unlike anything I’ve heard before. With all sorts of soft music, the countryside has this jazz drum with humming. The town theme has this mumbling lyrics mixed with kazoo that just kind of works to give it that laid back, lazy feeling of going around town as a kid. And I 爱情 hearing the 音乐 of the town drown out when 你 go into the bar and play this lyrical music, as lyrical as 你 can get when characters speak in Animal Crossing language. But when it turns night, the 音乐 fades, and it’s just the sound of the ambience. The train going through the town making its last stops, 狗 barking in the distance, the sound of crickets and frogs in the lake. All while 你 sit at the train stop, waiting for the last train 首页 with only the warm glow from the lamp above illuminating the darkness. This shit is really chill and I enjoy it. That being said, it doesn’t motivate me to explore this game. While I do enjoy finding the residents and 接吻 them to get the satisfaction, as well as learning about them in the 照片 album, seeing the letters they send and how they feel about the interaction, and just seeing the strange 设计 they have, what I don’t enjoy is basic exploring. Because just the act of examining could spell your death.
That’s right. Chulip, this time management game about 接吻 people, has a health bar. And it has game overs. And if 你 game over, it’s back to your last save. And that could mean going all the way back into town if 你 are out of town and having to set everything back. Just the act of looking at stuff can get 你 killed. Look at a globe in the park, it spins and kills 你 at a low level. Ride the slide? 你 trip and get hurt. Ride the swing? 你 jump off and it… heals you. Well then what the hell am I supposed to do? Not look at stuff? Even the act of looking in the trash for goodies could net 你 shit. Like, no joke, literal shit as an item 你 carry. And it hurts you. But sometimes 你 need to do it. Oh, sure, sometimes 你 can avoid the damage, but the game won’t tell 你 that. At the factory, 你 can press the buttons, X, Triangle, Circle, X, and not only avoid the embarrassment of not knowing the factory’s stretches, but also get a potato. But the game doesn’t tell 你 that, so 你 could play this game, get hurt every time, and just assume that it’s going to happen every time, unless 你 由 chance start pushing buttons and learn, 或者 just look up a guide. After a while, I just decided to use the guide, because I was scared something would just kill me. How am I supposed to know that just the act of talking to a friendly NPC and having him call me stinky would get me hurt? That’s not fair. But, whatever, 你 live, 或者 你 die, but 你 reload your save, 你 learn, 你 go on with the game and wait for something else to fuck you. Like mayhaps video game stuff that is unavoidable, like getting hit 由 lightning when 你 solve the grave puzzle. Okay, well, fuck 你 for that one game. So yeah, 你 better be 接吻 people. A lot of people. Which thankfully, I did. Because man, do I 爱情 these characters.
There are two groups of people in this game. The Underground Resident, and the Above Residents. And while the underground residents are made up of all sorts of strange enigmas, like a 音乐 box player, a boxer, a man with an assault rifle, a 蜘蛛 with lips on it’s asshole, a walking puzzle, a man who swims in concrete, a wizard, an angry voodoo doll, and an actual gimp, they seem to be less insane than the resident that occupy your town. They live underground, get no pay, and no thanks, despite keeping the town's water and electricity running, but they seem to be happy in their mad underground world, where the people above ground, they’re depressed and they’re crazy. Like I genuinely came to 爱情 most of these characters for their strange behavior and their outlooks on life. There’s the local doctor, Dr. Dandy, who is all about health that he helps people for free, yet he falls asleep all the time at work and can’t even cure his own sickness that he’s suffering from. There’s the married couple who are the parents of Shu’s dream girl, Julie and Goro, who live in a miserable life, the wife having to run the bar and make due despite her 迷失 唱歌 career while her failed director husband fails to sell potatoes, and only goes 首页 to get drunk as he complains about his directing days. One of my 收藏夹 is Batayan, a slacker who just wants to make music, but also needs money to survive. And when 你 get him a job at the factory, he is ecstatic. But slowly, he becomes tired, exhausted. He has to travel out of town 由 two trains to get to the factory, works there from 8:30 AM to 4 in the evening, then gets on the train, taking him hours just to get home, where he goes to sleep for four hours before doing it all again tomorrow. The dude’s fucking miserable and just wants to sing, but needs money. It isn’t until 你 火, 消防 him after becoming the president of the factory (Long story), then talking to him where he realizes he is fine being poor. He would rather be poor, doing what he loves, then to be rich and miserable. This game has all sorts of depression humor like that, all mixed with how characters feel like society does not care about them and how they struggle just to get by. This game is the perfect millennium game, feeling exhausted from work to work on your passions, feeling that you’d be better off dead than working for a minimum wage check every day, hating everyone and drinking your troubles away, counting down the last days of your life until your death. This game has all sorts of wacky cartoon antics and oddness to it, but it hides all the 更多 depression, 更多 serious topics behind the scenes. Stuff like being accused of crimes because 你 live in poverty 由 police, domestic abuse and alcoholism, depression, feeling trapped in your job, dealing with loss. The game is all kinds of sad. The game is charming and funny, but really sad. This game can make 你 glad, and this game can make 你 sad. But this game can also make 你 really, really fucking mad.
While I’ve been 唱歌 this game's praises, I have to admit, this game can have me invested one moment, but it can drive me to the brink of rage the next, especially from the abundance of annoying, unfair deaths, cryptic 屁股 puzzles, and waiting. So much waiting. If 你 play Chulip, please, I implore you, do not go for every kiss. 你 don’t have to get every kiss. 你 can get a lot, and I really do recommend getting all the above ground kisses, but anything else will just frustrate you. Aside from the fact that underground residents have a point when 你 can 吻乐队（Kiss） them, it’s randomized. 你 can’t just go to their spot at night and 吻乐队（Kiss） them, of course not. 你 gotta wait for a specific moment. Sure, some of them have puzzle solving. 茄子 Boy wants 你 to eat an 茄子 in front of him to get a kiss. Jamtrack wants 你 to stand on the parts of the sand that he calls out. Jigsaw wants 你 to find the puzzle piece that matches his face. But most of them only want 你 to let them walk around and wait until they just become happy to 吻乐队（Kiss） them. And it could be 随意 when they do this. Sometimes they do it often. But other times, they could just… not. They can also run into 你 and knock 你 down, and while you’re getting up, they can get happy, but stop as soon as you’re on your feet again. If 你 吻乐队（Kiss） them before the moment, they will hit 你 and it may even kill you. Regardless, if 你 wait too long, they will leave and 你 have no chance of getting them until 你 either reload your save, 或者 go do something else 或者 sleep 或者 read a book at the train station to pass time until the time comes for them to emerge again. And there are fifty kissable characters, only thirteen of them are above ground residents with their own stories. I’m not saying I want more, because what I got was great, but do they really gotta randomize the moment they can be kissed and put it on strict time limits? I 爱情 time management games. Some of my 最喜爱的 games ever, being Persona 4, Animal Crossing, and Majora’s Mask, are all about managing your time. But when most of my time is spent waiting twelve in game hours 阅读 a book, then spending some time standing at the spot because I’m scared I’ll skip the meeting otherwise does not feel remotely fun. It feels like I’m just waiting around and the charm of the night setting really starts to turn from something charming into something frustrating. I 说 we’d get to Funny Bone Factory, so here we go.
This is a scenario that I got to. So to get one piece of the 爱情 letter set needed to beat the game, 你 gotta go into the factory and become the president. After suggesting Batayan to work there, the factory thanks 你 由 making 你 a manager card to come in and look around. 你 ride the tram into the factory, and do the exercise like I mentioned before. Do it right 或者 get hurt and risk death. But I assume 你 survived. So 你 have to talk to the workers to find which one has a lazy guard. One of the four areas has this. After that, hide, and wait for the guard to leave. Then input the code 你 got from the old manager into the tram numbers and 你 will open the 安全 on the roof, and congrats. You’re the boss of the company. It’s weird, but the puzzles give 你 hints and it has a funny pay off. And 你 complete your goal. Not bad… But if 你 want to get all the kissable residents inside the factory, get fucking ready. So 你 get to Funny Bone Factory and start 阅读 your book at the train station. 你 arrived after every other worker was going in, so 你 can’t go in. No, 你 can’t go in at any point. 你 go in while everyone else is going in, 或者 you’re not going in until tomorrow. So after 你 wait, and I’ll assume 你 kissed the resident outside the factory and got the save room for this area. So 你 save outside the factory, 8:30 rolls around, and 你 get to go in. 你 do your stretches, get hurt again because fuck you, and 你 have to get to the two people inside the factory during the day. Being Batayan for his 吻乐队（Kiss） later, and the Plow Driver in the fourth area. 你 can NOT go to these areas how 你 want. 你 have to go to them on a set order at a set time. 你 leave when the game says 你 can leave. Batayan is in the 秒 of the four areas, while the Plow Driver is in the fourth. But remember that lazy security guard? Well he could be in any one of the four areas. 你 have to ask the employees in each area if it’s him. Thankfully, 你 don’t gotta ask every employee. It’s always the same one in all four areas. But if the security guard isn’t the one in the fourth area, 你 have no way of getting to the plow driver without not getting the underground residents at night. So let’s say, 由 some miracle, 你 get the security guard to be in the fourth area. 你 hide and wait for night and now 你 have twelve in game hours before the guards come back and toss your ass. There are now five underground residents. 你 need to remember the codes to get to each of the five spots. The first site, Factory Under Construction. Site 2, Operating Factory. Then Factory Under Construction, then New Factory Site, then the roof. Each has a different code to put on the tram to send 你 there. One is on the roof at 8PM to 11PM, and he is 随意 when he will be kissable, and can knock into 你 and waste time. After that, there’s one in the 秒 area, that is very sporadic with his movements and could not be kissable if 你 aren’t ready. Then go to the fourth area to find one that wants 你 to find the other half of his face in a pile of other faces. Thankfully, it’s easier than it sounds, as his face is different looking than the others in your inventory, but he leaves in an hour. Then it’s back to the 秒 area to 吻乐队（Kiss） one guy who could not be kissable at all. He could just 显示 up then fuck off without giving 你 a chance. Then 你 gotta go to the third area and let the guy there scream two times without letting him follow you, then 你 can 吻乐队（Kiss） him. After that, 你 gotta leave the factory before night. And no, being the president doesn’t mean 你 can explore the factory on your own 或者 at night. If 你 miss one, 你 gotta do the fucking tour again, the stretching, the hiding, and running around for a chance to 吻乐队（Kiss） them, and can still mess up because it’s random. And if you’re thinking, “Nik, what the fuck were 你 even saying in this entire paragraph!? You’re not making any fucking sense!?” EXACTLY! When I have to redo all of this shit over and over again just to 吻乐队（Kiss） one person who may not even activate, I get really, really mad, and I feel I just wasted my time and now I have to go back and waste 更多 of my time just to 吻乐队（Kiss） them. But when the game isn’t frustrating 你 with giving it to 你 straight but not actually letting 你 have it, it’s cryptic as all hell.
The game is usually fair in the first 2/3rds of the game. The puzzles are weird, and a lot of the bullshit deaths can be forgiven. But it’s when we get to Scarecrow Field and have to get a 吻乐队（Kiss） from the alien does the game become really cryptic. Throughout the game, as 你 吻乐队（Kiss） certain people, they may drop for 你 an Alien Dictionary, which allows 你 to read on the aliens language. Which is a nice way to help 你 figure out what he needs. A Computer, a Refrigerator, and a Frying Pan. But wait, we’re not done yet. After he makes his computer, he needs to figure out what else he needs. He turns a building nearby into a giant 音乐 box… um, okay… And then after that, 你 have to go and find the right notes to the 音乐 box. But the game doesn’t tell 你 that 你 need to find a set of 星, 星级 Seeds in the field nearby and plant them in the nearby garden. Like, how was anyone gonna know that. But, look, fine. 你 could come to that 由 exploring this part at 随意 and finding the seeds. Seeds go into the dirt. There’s only one spot for plantable dirt, and the one side won’t take vegetable seeds. So 你 put it there and get the notes. But when 你 get the notes, 你 can’t put it into the machine, because it’s missing something. What is it? What can 你 put onto the computer, increase inside, and put into the giant 音乐 box to play the notes? Well duh, dumbass. Funny Cola. A drink from the vending machine in Long Life Town. I… have no idea what that means. In the aliens language, 足球 means Canned Juice. But there’s no sign of 足球 on there, and that could mean anything. There’s no 足球 ball on the vending machine that produces the Funny Cola. I’m looking at this flabbergasted. Like there’s no fucking way anyone was going to know that without either forcing everything in the entire game into the goddamn computer. Apparently, the solution was simple in Japanese but the solution got 迷失 in translation, but good god, that is frustrating. And this is a mandatory puzzle to solve in order to beat the game. Like 你 need to 吻乐队（Kiss） this alien to prove 你 had contacts with aliens to impress the alien obsessed teacher so she’ll give 你 the piece of the 爱情 Letter Set. This game can have some of the highest highs and the lowest fucking lows. But I don’t want to end this review on huge negativity, so let’s talk about the ending, something I’m sure few Americans have seen. And if 你 want to play this game, skip this 下一个 paragraph to avoid spoilers
(!!!!!!!!!!SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF CHULIP AHEAD!!!!!!!!!)
So after getting the full letter set and making the letter, the mailbox in the town stops working, and 你 are left with no choice but to explore the town. Eventually finding the telephone wire resident having dug a hole deep into the sand in the park. And also your dad was the president of the school, is also a weirdo goblin, and this was all an elaborate method to strengthen Shu’s 心 in order to be better with women. But there is one final test, and it’s at the bottom of the hole. Falling down puts 你 into some… fucking weird place. 你 are now having to test your logic of what 你 learned about the town, the residents, and having to reach the bottom of the dream girls heart, figuratively and maybe literally. First test, picking the real head of her father, Goro. It’s easy if 你 just pick the right one. But after that, it’s a real challenge. Her mother, Julie, is on trial of the chickens for cooking them for 食物 in her bar, and 你 have to choose the witnesses from the town and decide which ones are the ones who like her chicken. A lot of people in town don’t, but with the testimony of those that 爱情 her cooking, 你 pass and can 移动 onto the last trial, and it’s honestly intimidating. 你 meet with the dream girls’ pet cat, the one who knows her the best, and it pins 你 against answering twenty 问题 about the town. A lot of them are so damn vague like the number for the hospital 或者 the number of drinks Policeman drinks. But if 你 have explored the town enough, and gotten to know these characters, 你 can prevail. It all comes down to hoping 你 can survive the 猫 onslaught of questions, and attacks if 你 get them wrong, 由 testing how much 你 invested in this town. And since I actually came to enjoy a lot of these characters, I found myself really enjoying them. I was glad I got to know them, got to help out their problems, and see them for the better. Batayan, the slacker, is poor, but he’s playing music, and it makes him happy. Julie and Goro, despite living in a crappy bar with their dreams lost, they have each other and are able to handle that. Michelle is able to cut out her alcoholism and go to eating Eggplants to keep herself calm. Dr. Dandy is able to go back to working and helping patients now that his sickness is gone. Mika is able to pass on in peace after seeing her high school lover enjoy the 茶 she had made before her death. And much more. It’s just nice to see that this game has a message to it. That no matter how bad things get, no matter how miserable 你 think 你 are, having someone 显示 genuine kindness to you, to help 你 out just because they want to, and 显示 that 你 care, it really gives this game a hopeful message in sight of all the cynicism and I think that’s really nice… It’s just a shame I hate playing this game.
(!!!!!END OF SPOILERS!!!!!)
Man, this is a damn shame. Chulip is a game that has so much meta commentary, a dark sense of humor that was way ahead of its time, and some charming characters, music, and settings that will stick with me for a long time, all wrapped up in a game I despise. I 爱情 this game so much and know it will stick with me hours after I play it, but the tedium, the insanity that bleeds out into the gameplay in the worst ways, the constant frustration, makes me so angry, that I never want to play this game ever again. I would 爱情 to see Chulip get revived as a sort of 日本漫画 comic 或者 a cartoon of sorts 或者 something. I think that this setting is something fascinating and I admire the work that the team put into this game. But no, I can’t play this game again. It was torture to play. Tedious, frustrating, dull torture. Chulip would go on to pretty much gain cult status in America, but nothing more. It was ported to the PS3 as a PS2 classic, which… Really? This game? I mean, it’s definitely unique and has good parts of it, and I would much prefer spending $10 to the usual $150 for a physical copy, but really? Of all the games? Oh well. The creator of this game, Yoshiro Kimura would produce and 设计 other games later on, including being the producer of the No 更多 超能英雄 games, and would go on to work for Marvelous Entertainment and work as combat designer for Romancing SaGa 3, released in 2019. I hope that this man can find work as a director again. He’s talented. Chulip was a frustrating game, but I won’t lie and say that it’s a charming little game that definitely shows the talent of the team behind it. I hope they can get another chance to make something great.
Award: Endurance Test. Endurance of the highest caliber. Do not go for 100% on this game if 你 can help it. And for the 爱情 of god, play it with a walkthrough. I won’t tell 你 if 你 should play this game 或者 not, because this is one of those weird titles that kind of needed to be played to form your own opinion on, but it’s not without its good moments. Moments of fun, of charm, and of genuine joy. Just be ready for some really annoying mechanics.
