So believe it 或者 not, I don’t go out of my way to look for bad games. Unless there’s some weird 圣诞节 event, I never look at a PS2 game and think, “This looks like a fucking piece of shit. I wanna play that”. No, I usually want to give the games I talk about on here the benefit of the doubt and 显示 them some sort of respect. Be it something that pulls me in 或者 something that intrigues me. Like I didn’t buy Marc Ecko’s Getting Up with the intent of hating it. I bought it because it looked like a fun game and I like the urban setting. It only happened to be a pile of trash. But today’s game is a game that I have no excuses for other than I saw the 标题 and I knew right from there this wasn’t going to be a good game. It costed me two dollars and has a very unappealing box art, complete with font ripped straight from the Godfather 标题 and with review scores ranging from, “This game is bad” to “This game is fucking bad!” So I’m not exactly excited. Ladies and gentlemen, Trigger Man.



So Trigger Man was made 由 Point of View Inc. Some sites say it was 由 WNT, whatever that is, but while the box that I have and the website MobyGames says that the game was made 由 WNT, the Wikipedia page says it was 由 Point of View. And since I can find nothing about WNT aside from a 最近的 足球 match that is completely unrelated to the company, I’m just gonna go out on a whim and say that Point of View worked on this game. So Point of View was a studio that made very few games, none of which were really good, like Spawn: Armaggeddon, The 蝎, 蝎子 King game, and so on. The company was privately owned and was made up of people from other studios like Interplay and Troika Games, studios that made the original Fallout games, Vampire: The Masquerade, and other, better games. In 2009, Point of View would go on to make Damnation, promoted as this big action game that was such a piece of shit, that not only did it kill Point of View, but it took Blue Omega Entertainment down with it, another mediocre studio. But hey, the publisher, Codemasters, at least survived, and has an exclusivity deal at the time of this article. With Electronic Arts… Guess there are some fates worse than death. But that’s just the developer. What I want to talk about is the publisher. Crave Entertainment published this game, at least in America. I have a love-hate relationship with Crave. They can 发布 some pretty good games, like Evergrace, which I did come around to after my initial review. I do think that game deserves it’s own review. They also published Galerians, a unique little PS1 horror game. And Jade Cocoon. That’s an RPG that doesn’t get enough attention. But that’s as far as recognizable 或者 debatably good games go. After that, it’s licensed games 或者 shovelware bowling and pool games. Crave is like a modern sort of LJN, in a way. If 你 needed some stank 屁股 DS 或者 PS2 game, 你 can count on Crave. Naturally, they were never destined to survive and went out of business in 2012. So yeah, Crave is definitely not a mark of quality, unless it’s on Jade Cocoon. So a game with a defunct developer and North American publisher. Boy, I’m excited. Now obviously, Trigger Man wasn’t solely responsible for the demise of those companies, but I really, really doubt it helped them.
So the game starts with this really bland looking 标题 screen. Just the games 标题 with some 枪 in the background and this weird trip hop beat complete with record scratching. Even for a white boy who likes a good beat, this is pretty bland stuff in comparison. It’s like something out of a bad movie from the 90s. Which, I think that’s exactly what we’re getting. It’s only gonna get worse from here. The game starts with this cutscene, or, my mistake, it has moving character 模特 in an in-game cutscene, but it pauses to 显示 a box of dialogue that takes up like fifty percent of the screen. Like this is not giving me the best first impressions. It’s a full text box with a literal paragraph of dialogue. Whatever, 你 are the Trigger Man, yes, that’s his name, and someone is slandering the name of the Coladangelo Family after the death of someone from the Montagano Family. Your job is to convince them 你 weren’t killers 由 robbing their casino. This game is, uh… not exactly going to win me over with its writing. I don’t mean to be a negative nancy right off the bat, but the game is giving me so much bad vibes and I haven’t even played it yet. But oh man, when we do get into the gameplay, it is not a pretty sight. So the game is in a constantly aiming point of view. 你 always have your gun out and are always ready to fire. Like I thought my controller was busted, but no, that's just the way it's supposed to be. But 你 are at the center of the bottom of the screen at all times, so it’s really, really awkward. Okay, now to be fair, this game came out a few months before Resident Evil 4 was released and perfected the third person shooting stance forever. But Max Payne came out a few years before this game did and that game was amazing. Hell, a game set in a crime drama world involving the mafia and 你 play as a gruff man who is a skilled shooter? Sound familiar to me. Like being in this aim in this position just makes everything awkward. And it doesn’t help that the speed for your gun is so slow. It moves in such a slow manner that aiming just feels wrong, and 由 the time 你 land a cursor on an enemy, you’ve already 迷失 half your health. But the enemies take like a million shots to kill them. I counted. For these first level enemies, the first enemies 你 fight, in a shot to the chest, it takes nine bullets. Now if 你 can get to them before they see you, it's an instant kill. But hey, sometimes they’ll die in one hit from a headshot. Sometimes. Not like it’s that challenging 或者 them to get hit anyway. They will stand in one spot every time. They will not chase you. It’s a miracle for them if they can even run to another corner. 你 just gotta inch your way to the corner and start shooting. Sometimes 你 can get them before they get you, other times, they’ll at least take a part of 你 with them. Once 你 got them, 你 just gotta unload your nine bullets into them. They will get stun locked and cannot move. And before 你 know it, you're all done. Oh, but that’s just the first room. This game will 显示 你 the roughness at first. But it doesn’t take long to peel back the skin to reveal the real vileness this game has.
As soon as 你 enter the 秒 room, guards start to maneuver around the building more, moving past your slow 屁股 aim, and they all come at you. They do not give 你 a chance. But 你 won’t know the first time because they are hidden in the dark. Yeah, this game is surprisingly hard to see in. Like casinos should be really bright and flashy, but this place just looks dead and empty. But anyway, if 你 came in here without bullets, 你 can’t go back. Before, if 你 wanted to get your ammo back, 你 had to painstakingly go back to the start (Don’t worry, the enemies will wait for you), pick up your ammo, all thirty of them, run back to the fight and continue. But with this room having a checkpoint and no ammo until 你 kill these five guys, if 你 have no ammo, 你 better hope 你 can kill them with your 刀 before they get you. And with this amount of ammo being spent, I realized that, no, this game demands that 你 shoot enemies in the head. And then it throws enemies on a 秒 floor with fucking assault rifles. You're telling me that I am going to have a slow moving character with an even slower aim with enemies that straf just as fast as I can 移动 my crossheir. And now you’re telling me I need to have pinpoint accuracy? Why the fuck would 你 put this in your game?! It’s been a while since I got this frustrated in the first ten 分钟 of the game. And HowLongToBeat.com says this game is like three hours. Oh dear god, kill me. So after enduring that trial, I manage to face a boss enemy. 你 can tell he’s a oss enemy because he’s got a 粉, 粉色 health bar instead of the regular one. Also because he doesn’t get stun locked like the other enemies. But his AI is still dumb and 你 can still shoot him passed cover. And 由 some grace of god, he drops the shotgun. 你 can never fuck up a shotgun, that is the golden rule. Even Kane and Lynch 2 made the shotgun the best weapon in the game and that game was a mess. And the shotgun in Trigger Man is… eh. It’s okay. A lot better than the peashooter of a pistol I’ve had so far. So we low up the 拱顶, 保险库, 跳马 and take out the guards inside of the vault… what? And then take the diamonds. But just because this game wants to get on my nerves even more, we gotta go all the way back to the start to leave. And not only that, it's a stealth section. Yeah, we can gun down security guards who were probably just doing their job, but shooting a police officer is too much. We gotta sneak around them. And every time 你 lose, and 你 will, 你 gotta watch the cutscene again. And even when 你 go to the spot that the game itself tells 你 is a good spot, it’s not. 你 will only screw yourself if 你 go up there because they patrol that spot. The game actively lies to 你 to screw 你 over. Whether that's true 或者 not… I hate this game, so I’m gonna slander it all I want. Thanks to a guide from Game Marathon Runner, which I feel I’ll be coming back to again and again, I was able to realize I need to sneak around from the pool 表 on the opposite end, then then make my escape. And once I do that, I beat the level…. People, this was just level one. This was just the first twenty minutes.
下一个 level starts with a sniper section. Yep, 更多 precision aiming and yep, 你 guessed it, if 你 die, 你 gotta watch the long tracking cutscene all over again. Now the game says to avoid being seen, and while 你 won’t fail automatically if 你 get caught, they will send in two guys with body armor and assault rifles. And while they did get me twice, I was able to pick off everyone in a slow, tedious attempt to get headshots, but they were called in at the last 分钟 because I ran out of ammo and was lucky enough to be at a spot where they couldn’t hit me but I could headshot them, bypass their armor, and kill them. I swear, this game can either work with 你 或者 against 你 and it’s never consistent. After getting through some easy enemies, we meet the Don and get to fight him and his goons. With ammo outside and free health refill for good measure, all I did was hide behind the small corner and take potshots at his head poking out from cover. Even when some goons came in to help when his health was at half, I still beat him. Clearly that wasn’t what I was supposed to do because those goons were supposed to make things challenging, but since I never even set foot in the room, they were just taken off 由 my weak 屁股 pistol. 你 give me a shitty gun, I refuse to play 由 the games rules. But hey, we get his AK on the way out of the building and it ain’t too bad a gun. Also his granddaughter is there, for some reason. We just didn’t see her walk in and now she’s in charge, I guess. I’m really trying to follow the plot, but I feel like this game doesn’t want me to.
Level three is much the same. Run around a building and shoot enemies. As 你 can see, this game's shooting is not its strong suit, so 你 better believe it’s going to do the thing it sucks the most at, and make it the main advertising point and thing it does the most. And man, this game started out frustrating, but now that I just play whack a 痣, 鼹鼠 with the enemies 由 popping out of corners, and hoping I get a shot before they kill me, it really becomes just tedious and boring. Well until 你 get to the boss of this level where 你 are surrounded on all sides 由 his men and they all open 火, 消防 on you. It was also during this fight that I noticed I had a 秒 knife. And it had a on it. Urns out these are throwing knives. But not just throwing knives. Throwing knives that when thrown, 你 can adjust their aim and trajectory to hit a target. Think like the Baterangs from the Arkham series…. But much, much worse. They 移动 so damn slow that it doesn’t even matter regardless. If 你 didn’t aim at them from the start, 你 didn’t hit them. Plus, what is even the point of throwing a slow 刀 at an enemy who can 鸭 out of cover one moment and back in the 下一个 when a bullet is faster, straighter, and gets the job done faster. So, yeah, that’s some wasted inventory space. So yeah, this boss is trash. Just hide in the elevator, and pick up the health when it respawns. There is no strategy other than run out, take some health off the boss and his goons, and run back and wait until your health box refills so 你 can get 更多 health. But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that after 你 beat the boss, the level keeps going. Ugh! And it’s in the garage, with wide open 太空 and no hiding spots. And 更多 and 更多 enemies just pour on in. And then my PS2 crashed… Fuck. These levels aren’t long, but fucking hell, with the tedium and the frustration, it sure as hell feels long. So I endure the level again and get pincer attacked from all sides without a chance to reload my guns. It's also here where I realize that if 你 aren’t close enough to an enemy, even if 你 can see their health bar, your shots don’t count. 你 can’t be too far from them, even if 你 can see them in the distance. Now they haven't hit me with any bullets, so I don’t know if they have to follow the same rules, but still. I am shooting at them with a submachine gun. I should be able to hit them from the otherside of the garage. Especially when going out further will just get me killed from all sides again. I died about two times, came real close again, before I finally escaped. I can at least say it was the least annoying level. But not good. Not even a little.
We get into level four and…. Oh god… an escort mission. 你 know how people always complain about how games that come out now don’t have the same charm as the old games? Well, one thing I will always be grateful about in new games is that they completely left these behind, 或者 at the least, if they do have them, took out all the bullshit that makes them frustrating. Enemies are much, much harder to see in this subway level and they only have their eyes on the boss. This is a double edge sword, because now I can stand out and 火, 消防 on people as the boss hides behind a wall. But this also means that if the boss dies, it’s back to the start. And since the boss loves to run out into gunfire that can kill him in seconds, I have to jump out in front and hope I can kill all the enemies before he gets himself killed. Thankfully, I did it on my first try and managed to beat the level with the boss only filled with a few bullets. And there’s a reason why it was so short. Because the leve after is a fucking nightmare. 你 have to kill the target, No Neck Johnny, and collect info on a 痣, 鼹鼠 in the building. Yes, there’s a 痣, 鼹鼠 in your family. Not sure when 或者 where it came from, but I am not fucked to care. After a cutscene, 你 need to get through ten enemies, some with body armor and fucking machine guns, all with only two health stations before reaching the boss, who is surrounded 由 four other goons and has a fucking riot gun. But once 你 shoot him, he will run out and attack you. Assuming 你 don’t die on the way, 你 could get gunned down 由 the four guys huddled in one room. And if 你 try to run after the boss, the only guy 你 really gotta kill, he could just gun 你 down with his insanely powerful riot gun. And for this part, the health stations stop refilling. It’s one and done. Sometimes 你 can get it once, but other times, 你 can’t. It’s also here whereI realize the damn 音乐 stops and loops, so having heard it twelve fucking times in a row, I was starting to lose my goddamn mind. But I did it! I killed the motherfucker and was able to 移动 on to the 下一个 level.
Leven six is… just… the same. 更多 running. 更多 mediocre shooting. One long section of enemies that can drain your bullets for the 下一个 area 或者 just flat out kill 你 and send 你 right back to the start. Like what else can be 说 about this game? It’s just the same bad shooting for two hours. And yeah, I know HowLongtoBeat 说 that the game is three hours, but no. If 你 know what to do, it’s two. It’s only three from the series of stupid deaths and the breaks you’ll need to get through this nightmare. There’s also a part here where 你 can open doors and find a mobster flushing a toilet… I think that was supposed to be a joke. So there’s another boss, I think is the mole, and 你 know the drill. Hide behind a corner, run back when 你 need ammo, leave. But oh, of course one level, not one fucking level can just be medicore. 你 can’t just be bored. 你 gotta be frustrated. It’s been a while since we had a stealth section, so let’s do it again. This one is twice as long and frustrating, so thank 你 again, Game Marathon Runner. After that, 更多 dark 船, 小船 missions, 更多 blowing up crates, 更多 sniper sections. This game is just every bad trope and tries to do it over and over again. What is there left to say. It’s not a fun game in the slightest. It’s a goddamn slogfest. We then get the final boss fight. It’s going to take a lot of skill, a lot of strength, with all the phases of- Hide behind the corner and kill her. That’s it. That’s all it is. Why would 你 expect anything else? But at least the level is over after that. With that, 你 get congratulations from the boss, Borello was the rat, I don’t even remember who that was, and 你 get slow moving credits with no music…. Fuck you.
Yeah, this game is bad. This is honestly the worst game I’ve played thus far. Good job, Marc Ecko’s Getting Up. 你 don’t suck as bad now. Trigger Man had nothing for me. I was hoping for a hokey as hell dumb action game, but it was just a slow, boring mess of a game. I didn’t understand the story, the visuals were ugly, every level was tedious at best and frustrating at worst, the gameplay was just the worst the third person shooter genre has to offer, and I can see now why this game has gotten nothing but hate throughout. And it isn’t even so bad it’s good kind of game. This is not a Road Redemption 或者 a Ride to Hell 或者 anything like that. This game is a total mess and a dull, hard to see one at that. Obviously gets the 标题 of Bottom of the Bin, right at the bottom. I’m glad this game is obscure. Fuck Trigger Man and let’s hope that it never gets worse than this again.