EPISODE 1:
Man: (Cleaning a red Bodhi truck, witch is Trever's tradition car in the game).
Trevor: (comes in, wearing his traditional white t-shirt and sweatpants) Hey. Nice car man.
Man: Jee. Thanks mister..
Trevor: Say. Wanna see something, (gives the man a 随意 magazine).
Man: (camera zoomed up on him) What am I supposed to do with this!?
Trevor: (shown in the car when the camera zoomed back out) It's supposed to distract 你 as I steal your car.
Audience: (laughs and claps),
Man: (angrily) Hey!
Trevor: (driving off) 你 just been T-Jacked, bitch!
Audience: (cheers at this)
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THEME SONG;
link
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Trevor: (still driving)
(the 迷失 appears in his path)
Trevor: Yo what the fuck cowboy!?
Audience: (laughs)
Johnny: (reveals himself)
Audience: (cheers)
Trevor: (annoyedly) Oh great. 更多 bikers.
Johnny: I hope 你 don't mind us setting up 首页 here?
Trevor: No, no. I am okay with that.
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(at the trailer)
Trevor: (pacing angrily) I AM SO NOT OKAY WITH THIS!
Audience: (laughs)
Ron: Chill out boss. We can sell to them. They look rich.
Trevor: Ohh. And this is the part where I say "I am okay with that".. (laughs) WELL I AM!
Audience: (laughs)
Trevor: Come on boys! The 迷失 is new members.. What's the worst that can come from this.
Wade: Just try not to screw with them T.
Trevor: Of course I won't.
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ONE WEEK LATER:
Trevor: (murders Johnny in cold blood) 下一个 TIME DON'T GET IN MY FUCKIN FACE! I JUST SAW A FUCKIN GHOST AND NOW I GOTTA HEAR YOUR CRAP! Get up! GET UP!
Audience: (claps uncomfortably)
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(in the trailer)
Trevor: (grabs an conveniently placed AK47 from under his bed, and reloads it, along with grabbing a hat that he put on his head).
Ron: T- Trevor are 你 sure about this shit?, I'd rather just watch that movie DISGUISE, with Steven Ogg.
Audience: (laughs)
Trevor: Why are 你 so obsessed with this Steven Ogg guy!? His voice sounds like two giraffes having sex.
Audience: (laughs)
Steven Ogg: (speaking on the tv)
Trevor: 你 see!.. (yells at the tv) GET A REAL VOICE 你 MOACH!
Audience: (laughs and claps)
Trevor: (smashes the tv) Now can we just hurry up and get in the truck. LET'S GO LADIES!
(everyone gets into the truck, driving too the 迷失 members).
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[they reach the 迷失 members)
Terry: yo, have 你 seen Ashley? Johnny's looking for her.
Trevor: Oh, as a matter of fact I just did, not ten 分钟 ago. I saw her on the end of this penis here.
Audience: (laughs)
Clay: Johnny's not gonna be cool if 你 mess with her again.
Trevor: Oh really, let's ask him. (lifts foot) 嘿 cowboy? 你 mind that I fucked your old lady? Oh, what's that, 你 DON'T mind.. Wha- because you're a dead man!? And the only scented part of 你 left is this little piece of brain! And the grizzle on the end of my boot! WELL THANK 你 VERY MUCH COWBOYYY!
Audience: (claps)
Terry: BULLSHIT!
Trevor: Oh I LIKE IT, denial! That's the first part of the grieving process brothers. Now let's all hold hands.
Audience: (laughs)
Clay: THIS BETTER BE BULLSHIT! (they all ride off)
Trevor: Oh, where are 你 guys going!? LET'S GO LADIES! (runs into the truck, as does Wade and Ron).
Trevor, Ron and Wade followed the Bikers to their backup, and once they reached the spot, Trevor got his AK47 ready.
Trevor: Watch the entrance boys..
Trevor: (runs to the bikers) GET READY TO DIEEEEE!
Audience: (cheers a litte)
[a huge gun right begins to take place, when Andrew WK - Get Ready to Die, begins playing as suitable background music).
Trevor: (violently shooting) Step right up! STEP RIGHT UP!
Trevor: (shoots a whole bunch of them, while 唱歌 along to the song).
Biker: (shoots at Trevor)
Trevor: (almost dancing) (almost singing) I gotta taste for biker blood!
(a large gas tank gets blown up)
(skips to Trevor running down the trailer house, as the song does the last 吉他 verse).
Ortega: (angry about his house) WHAT THE FUCK TREVER!?
Trevor: (pointing his AK47 and still wearing his 橙子, 橙色 hat from earlier) This, IS, the fuck, my friend!
Audience: (laughs)
(skips after Trevor decides to spare Ortega, believing he scared him straight).
Ron: Are 你 sure it was a good idea to spare him boss?
Trevor: Coarse. What's the worst that can happen?
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Trevor: (stuck in a gunfight with Chief) FUCKIN ORTEGA!
Audience: (laughs)
Trevor: (violently shooting) Get some! GET SOME!
(after a heavy amount of fighting, Ortega arrives)
Ortega: Yo, Tre- (gets shot in the face and dies).
Audience: (laugh)
Trevor: ¡Me importa un huevo fuck!
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Trevor: (to the leaving chinese men) I'll 摇摆, 秋千 由 and sign the contracts, just ignore the bodies.
Audience: (laughs)
Chief: T? We're still gonna cook that batch!?
Trevor: FUCK YEAH!
EPISODE 2:
Ron: So boss. Now that 你 took care of the bikers? What we gonna do.
Trevor. (stops at the Sandy Shores bank) 你 are not doing anything. But 'I' am stopping 由 the bank here.. I have a deposit to check out.
Ron: Well.. Have fun I guess.
Trevor: (gets out, and grabs shotgun and then cocks it).. Ohh. I intend too!
Audience: (laughs)
Ron: (gasps) Wait! Is that a real gu- (Trevor runs in) TREVOR!
Audience: (laughs harder).
Trevor: (dramatically bursts in, wearing a bike 头盔 to hide his face, and fires the shotgun into the air) NOBODY MOVE! I'M MAKING A DEPOSIT!
Audience: (laughs and claps)
Customers: (scream and run away from him)
Trevor: (pounds on the glass) GET UP! 或者 YOUR GET WORSE THEN HURT!
Bank Employee: (tearfully reveals himself)
Trevor: (dramatic voice while pointing the gun) This check is 'personal'
Audience: (laughs)
Employee: (crying) Checking 或者 saving!?
Trevor: Checkings! DO IT NOW!
Audience: (laughs)
Employee: (crying) A Are 你 sure 你 don't want savings!? Think about your future!?
Audience: (laughs)
Trevor: (dramatic voice) All my income is... Disposable.. (pumps the shotgun).
Audience: (laughs).
Employee: (screams) Endorse here! ENDORSE HERE! (Trevor, with much difficulty, writes down his name).
SOON AFTER:
Ron: 嘿 T. How'd it go in there?
Trevor: (holding bag of money) Oh. 你 know.. Pretty 'average'
Audience: (laughs and cheers).
EPISODE 3:
Micheal: (comes into view, making the audience cheer loudly about seeing him)
Micheal: (opens fridge and sees large amount of pot) Da fuck is shit!?
Jimmy: I.. I can explain.
Audience: (laughs)
Amanda: God Jimmy!.. I only have myself to blame. It's not like your father can do anything.
micheal: (sarcastically) Yeah. Because all I did was pull 你 out of a trash town and into a mansion in Los Santos.. And what do I get!?.. Nothing., nothing but an old picture of 你 in an old Hooker uniform, that I occasionally masterbate towards.
Audience: (laughs)
Jimmy: As do I
Audience: (laughs)
Micheal: (disgusted) OH MY GOD! That's disgusting! That's your mother!
Audience: (laughs and claps)
Jimmy: I'm just being hones-
Micheal: (angrily) Get out! Get out of my house!
Jimmy: Bu-
Micheal: (punches violent hole in wall) I 说 GET OUT!
Jimmy: (runs off in fear)
Audience: (laughs)
Micheal: (after calming down) but serious Amand-
Trevor: (comes into view making another loud cheer from the audience).
Trevor: Did somebody say Yoga.
Amanda: ... No. Don't think so.
Audience: (laugh)
Trevor: Whatever..
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Amanda: I don't like this Micheal.
Jimmy: Yeah.. Uncle T? Man?
Michael: (glares) Jimmy?... Who let 你 back in the house
Audience: (laughs)
EPISODE 4:
Trevor: Tell me what you've been doing for the past 15 years?
Michael: I've been hiding.. But I DO see a therapist every so often.
Trevor: Therapist huh? I tried that once.. Didn't go so well.
Audience: (laughs a little)
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(cut away).
Trevor: (in a therapy room) I'm telling 你 doc, I grieved him!.. And he wasn't even fuckin dead!.. The turd lied to me for all these years.
Doctor: I see.. And how does that make 你 feel?
Trevor: (angrily) What is it with you!? Always with "feelings"..
Audience: (laughs)
Doctor: Just trying t-
Trevor: I HAD A HARD LIFE ALRIGHT! MY DADDY, WAS NOT, NICE TO ME!
Audience: (laughs)
Doctor: And how does that make 你 f-
Trevor: (angrily breaks the doctors neck, killing him) FUCK 你 BITCH! WHO THE FUCK 你 SPEAKING TOO! WHO!?
Audience: (laughs harder)
Trevor: (angrily throws something) FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKER!!
Audience: (laughs)
Trevor: ... FUUUCK!
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Our anti 超能英雄 parked at the Fame 或者 Shame studio.
Trevor: (to Micheal) Come on 你 fat fuck! Let's go inside already!
Audience: (laughs)
Michael: (flips T the middle finger but follows him anyway.
Man: Hello sirs? Can I please have your nam-
Trevor: (grabs the man's throat) Where the fuck is Tracy Townley.. Tracy fuckin de Santa.. SCREW THAT! WHERE THE FUCKS LASLO!
Man: (frightenedly points to where Laslo is).
Michael: happy now T?
Trevor: Are 你 too chill to say my name!? Is one letter all 你 can spill out in your lazy fat ass!?
Audience: (laughs)
Michael: Why are 你 so angry!?
Trevor: BECAUSE! If I don't get angry, then my 显示 would be boring!
Audience: (laughs)
Michael: But it isn't healthy to always be so angry. It's not like I ever get angry.. (a bunch of cutaways, that prove otherwise).
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Trevor and Mike sneaked into the Fame 或者 Shame set.
Man: (finishes dancing, bows)
Lazlo: (comes into view)
Audience: (cheers a little at seeing him)
Lazlo: (claps) Thank 你 Mike. For... Whatever that was.
Audience: (laughs)
Lazlo: Welcome back to Fame 或者 Shame.. I'm the host. Because "apparently" I have nothing else to do on a Saturday evening.
Audience: (laughs)
Lazlo: Now. Up 下一个 it's Tracey De Santa.. Audience.. Tracy De Santa.
Tracy; (in overly REVEALING outfit) H. Hi
Lazlo: Now Tracy's a "dancer" but she also enjoys singing, and long walks on the beach.. That's wonderful. You're so original. Like a rainbow. 或者 a basket of puppies. 或者 a.. Pile of puke.
Audience: (laughs)
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(skips to when Trevor and Michael are chasing Lazlo's battery car)
(inside the truck)
Michael: (hearing FIREWORKS playing loudly in the truck) Is this Katy fuckin Perry!?
Trevor: Yes.. Look. Just leave it on, it helps relax me!
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Trevor: Ohh.. All out of batteries.
Lazlo: Please don't kill me.. I've been in EVERY grand theft auto game!
Audience: (laughs)
Trevor: Yeah well.. That little girl sat on my leg when she was small. And I swore to god I would the face off anyone, who fuckin wronged her!
Michael: Yeah.. As he said,
Lazlo: B.. But.. If 你 spare me. I'd give 你 my pet pony!
Audience; (laughs)
Michael: 你 have a pet pony?
Lazlo: (holds out the MLP character Pinkie pie, as she looked 'extra' cute with her eyes widened like a puppy).
Michael: It'll take 更多 than tha-
Trevor: I 爱情 IT! (grabs pinkie and 'uncharacteristically' starts hugging her a bunch of times).
Michael: ... Wow.
Audience: (laughs)
Lazlo: Does this mean you're spare me!?
Trevor: Fine.. Fuck off already.
Lazlo: Gladly.. (starts running off).. So glad I didn't do- (gets randomly hit 由 bus, and killed instantly).
Audience: (laughs).
LATER:
Trevor: (walking Pinkie like a dog)
Michael: You're not REALLY gonna keep that, are you, T?
Trevor: What's the worst I can do to her..
(a few days later)
(link).
EPISODE 6:
Michael approached Doctor Fredlanders office.
Fredlander: So.. I see your back around and making time for your mental health.
Michael: Not sure if I came to be honest.. You're not really doing much to help me.
Fredlander: Well.. This usually implies your value yourself only as others value you. Which is usually the result of having a miserable childhood.
Audience; (laughs)
Michael: Well.. I had a perfectly wonderful childhood.
Fredlander: (unconvinced) Really.. Tell me about it?
Audience: (laughs)
(20 分钟 later)
Michael: (sobbing uncontrollable and lying on the couch, with. Box of tissues, and lots of rolled up tissues around him) and above all else., when I was 11, my mommy told me that my pet 龟, 海龟 ran away.. (sniffs) but he didn't run away.. TURTLES CAN'T RUN!
Audience: (laughs)
Michael: (continues crying loudly)
Fredlander: I see.. (writes down on his notepad)
Michael: (sniff) are 你 getting good information?
Fredlander: What?.. Oh. Right.. (shown to simply be doodling) coarse I am.
Audience: (laughs)
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Michael approached Dave Norten.
Michael: Davy!? Sup!?
Dave: About as much as can be expected., but the news is 'not' good.
Michael: Ahh.. Why are 你 always tripping on life, yo!?
Audience: (laughs)
Dave: (annoyed) Why are 你 talking like that?
Audience: (laughs harder)
Michael: Don't trip on my voice bro!
Audience: (laughs)
Dave: (angrily) Shut up!
Audience: (laughs)
Michael: Whatever.
Dave: Anyway.. I know 你 did that fuckin jewelry job.
Michael: Dave. Really. You're imagining things.
Dave: Fuck, you.
Michael: Fine. 你 got me! Arrested me! 你 know what, you're saving my life.. Because 你 called it motherfucker!
Dave: What!?
Michael: 你 called it!
Dave: ... Trevor!
Michael: Yeah. A couple days ago.
Dave: we're screwed.
Michael: Story of my life.
Audience: (laughs)
Dave: So. If. Your problems are my problems. Then I guess. My problems are, sort of your problems.
Michael: Fine. Whatever.. What 你 need.
Dave: (briefs Michael on the mission)
Michael: How am I supposed to get in here-
Dave: (whacks a night stick over Mike's head, knocking him unconscious)
Dave: (voice fading) call me when 你 wake up.
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Inside the IAA building, a doctor opened a body bag, when suddenly the assumed dead Michael burst up, and cried out "Back from the dead mother fucker!" before stabbing the doctor in the throat with a piece of glass, killing him.
(shortly after)
An IAA gunman went to investigate, but Michael sneaked over to him and stabbed him in the head with another piece of glass. Killing him.
Michael: (soon discovered the guy Dave is making him look for isn't in the room, and told this to Dave, but when he ended the conversation Michael heard a voice. As one of the workers got closer while carrying an MP5, suddenly Michael, while screaming out "AMERICA!" head butted him and took the gun, and shot him from the ground, like in Max Payne three.
The other other enemies opened 火, 消防 on Micheal.
Michael: (takes cover).
Michael: Hey! I already died once today!
Audience (laughs)
(skips to upstairs).
Michael: (again references Max Payne when he dramatically dives in the air).
Michael: (falls painfully onto the ground) AHH! Fuck that hurt! Why do I even fucking play that game!?
Audience: (laughs)
Michael: (angrily) It's not funny!
IAA guy: (grabs Michael's gun and points it at him) Prepare to die!
Michael: If you're gonna shoot me may wanna clean your 衬衫 first.
IAA guy: (looks at shirt) Wh-
Michael: (tackles the guy and breaks, smashes his face though a huge spike like object, and grabs his gun).
Michael: (shots his way through the guards, killing about 20 before dramatically diving through the window but the lid of the 垃圾箱, 垃圾站 closes and Michael lands painfully against it, nearly breaking his back, and slides off in pain).
Audience: (laughs)
Michael: It's not fun- (gets suddenly hit 由 a car and falls onto the ground).
Audience: (laughs)
Driver: Are 你 okay!? (opens his door but it smashes Michael in the face).
Audience: (laughs).
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SEVERAL DAYS LATER;
(preparing for the mission where they break into the IAA building).
随意 pilot: Alright. Let's do this.
Michael: Where's Trevor?
Pilot: He 说 he was too busy..
Franklyn: What could that crazy man POSSIBLY be busy with!?
Audience: (laughs)
Michael: Who knows.. But I'm sure whatever it is, is completely violent and terrifying..
Audience: (laughs)
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Meanwhile in Trevor's trailer house..
Pinkie: (sitting cutely)
Trevor: Alright.. Where gonna try this one 更多 time.. (extends hand) Gimme paw?
Audience: (laughs)
Pinkie: ... (extends her hoof onto his hand)
Trevor: Good, now other paw.
Pinkie: ... (extends 'same' hoof).
Trevor: (annoyedly) No, 'other' paw!
Audience: (laughs)
Pinkie: ... (again extends the same hoof)
Audience: (laughs)
Trevor: (getting angry) For god sakes, we practiced this! You're gonna make me look bad in front of others!
Trevor: other paw..
Pinkie: ... (finally extends the right hoof)
Trevor: Finally!
Audience: (laughs)
Pinkie: (annoyingly) 你 know this reminds of the time wh-
Trevor: (deeply annoyed) Shut up!
Audience: (laughs)
EPISODE 7;
Trevor: Is this really necessary?
Pinkie: Coarse it is. 你 have been my owner all this time, and haven't even seen my show.
Trevor: Fine., but if this turns me into a bitch, you'll never hear the end of i-.
(brainwash sounds)
Voice: 你 are now watching my little pony.
Trevor: (hypnotized) I'm now watching my little pony
Audience: (laughs)
voice: My little 小马 is the greatest 显示 you've ever seen. Except maybe family guy.
Trevor: (still brainwashed) My little 小马 is the greatest 显示 I ever seen. Except maybe Family guy.
Audience: (laughs)
Voice: 你 will recommend my little 小马 and family guy to everybody 你 know.
Trevor: (still brainwashed) I will recommend my little 小马 and family guy to everyone I know.
Voice: 你 will never stop talking about my little pony, 或者 family guy.
Trevor: (still brainwashed) I will never stop talking about my little pony, 或者 family guy.
Audience: (laughs).
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Trevor: Michael. Look at us, eh?.. New town. New set of problems. But the idiots. They stay the same.
Michael: Don't worry. Things will slow down soon.
Trevor: 你 know what's NOT slowing down? My little pony. Greatest 显示 I have seen sense family guy.
Audience: (laughs)
Michael: (annoyed) God, 你 never shut up about those fuckin shows!
Audience: (laughs harder)
Trevor: (gets in helicopter).
Michael: I'll see 你 later.
Trevor: Ohh, 你 better believe it buddy.. (flies off).
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(the 下一个 evening)
Denise: Nope! Don't 你 step foot in this yard!
Franklyn: Why, it's half my house.
Denise: I'm gonna call the police!
Franklyn: For what!? I didn't do anything except just stand here.
Audience: (laughs)
Lamar: (comes out of the witch chop and the audience makes a small cheer for him) Don't pretend 你 don't know how it is homey-o!
Franklyn: How the fuck did 你 even get in there!? The doors were locked!
Lamar: Yeag. But yer windows weren't.
Audience: (laughs).
Trevor: (comes into view, wearing a t- 衬衫 with the ANDREW W.K logo., and it's implied he wears it 'a lot' because it has a lot of stains on it). Hello missy.. Franklyn. 你 never told me that 你 got a sister.
Denise: (blushing) I'm Denise. Franklyn's house mate.
Franklyn: And aunt. My mother's old dried u-
Denise: (angry) SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Trevor: Yeah. SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Audience: (laughs)
Franklyn: (flips Trevor the middle finger).
(after Denise goes inside when Trevor suddenly insulted her).
Lamar: (about Trevor) Yo! F! What's with the dope looking white boy over here!?
Trevor: (confused) What?
Lamar: (uses over the 最佳, 返回页首 amount of gangster slangs)
Trevor: (still confused) What are 你 even saying!?
Audience: (laughs)
Franklyn: Man? What the fuck are 你 doing here Trevor!?
Trevor: I'm new in town. I'm making friends.. Now let's party.
Audience: (laughs).
Trevor: Perfect! It's a gang bang.. I even brought my own weapon (takes out his AK47, which he gave several upgrades to.. Including a scoop, a handle, and 橙子, 橙色 camo tape).
Franklyn: I already told 你 I'm tire-
Trevor: (begins playing party party party 由 Andrew W.K. At high volume from inside Lamar's van).
Audience: (laughs and claps)
Trevor: (shaking his gun to the beat of the song) Let's go fuck some people up!
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(reluctantly, Franklin and Lamar went with him to the place).
Franklyn: So we're good right? Then let's go?
Trevor: I want a taste.
Franklyn: No, we're going!
Trevor: I want the other side.
Dealer: No way ma-
Trevor: (sudden anger) Oh yeah, well, FUCK YOU! I didn't want it anyway.. (flips his middle finger at the dealers face).. I'll rather stay at home, then be with your motherfuckin fagot for the rest of the day.. Good 日 bitch.. (storms out, still pointing middle finger).
Audience: (laughs).
(awkward silence).
Trevor: (calmly returns soon after) Dude, I totally didn't mean that.
Audience: (laughs a little)
Trevor: I'm sorry we had that fight just then. 你 know, I mean. 你 说 some things. I 说 something's.. But let's just put it behind us, and try to be 老友记 again.
Dealer: ... I'm still not giving 你 it.
Trevor: (angrily flips him off again) WELL FUCK 你 ASSHOLE! (tries grabbing it, revealing it to only be drywall with a key inside).
Trevor: Yo! That's a "close call with a brick wall"!
Audience: (laughs)
Dealer: Isn't that an album for Andrew W.K.
Trevor: Sure is.. I like to "party hard" bitch!
Dealer: Wha-
Trevor: I "get wet" and like to "party hard"!.. "we want fun" asshole!
Dealer: Are 你 just naming songs!?
Audience: (laughs)
Trevor: GET READY TO DIE!
Dealer: Yo! We got some motherfuckin buyers remorse over here! (slams door closed)
Trevor: YO, 你 CAN'T FUCKIN HUSTLE A HUSTLER!
Trevor, Franklin and Lamar took cover and they began getting violently shot at, which oddly made Trevor become sexually aroused.
Lamar: (laughs) Yo, is that a 香蕉 in your pocket 或者 a-
Franklin: (annoyed) Shut up Lamar
Audience: (laughs).
Trevor: (takes out his scooped AK47) LET'S DO THIS! (begins running and shooting).
(the louder lyrics of FEAR OF THE DARK - IRON MAIDEN begins playing as the suitable background song)
Trevor: (speaking in loud hyperactive, fast voice) Oh man! I-feel-like-my-heart-is-gonna-explode-and-crap-my-pants-THIS-IS-SO-AWESOME!
Audience: (laughs).
Trevor: REALLY-DON'T-WANNA-GET-CLIPPED-ON-MY-FIRST-WHOOO-WA!
Audience: (laughs)
(ONE LONG BATTLE LATER)
Trevor: Yo! Just surrender your jet skis, and I won't hurt you!
MC Clip: Alright. Take the jets-
Trevor: (shoots MC clip in the leg)
Audience: (laughs)
MC Clip: 你 说 你 WEREN'T GONNA HURT ME!?
Trevor: Well 你 shouldn't have trusted me! I'm on drugs!
Audience: (laughs)
(on the jet skis)
Lamar: We should get comfortable.. Since nobody is trying to shoot the engines, 或者 kill us.
Police helicopter: SHOOT THE ENGINES! KILL THEM (minigun fire).
Audience: (laughs)
Franklyn: (angrily) DAMN IT LAMAR! STOP JINXING SHIT!
Audience: (laughs harder).
EPISODE 8;
Michael: (exits the tow truck with Franklyn, after arriving at the fancy house they thought belonged to the 网球 coach).. 嘿 asshole! 你 ran off before we can settle our agreement!.
Kyle: I told 你 I coughed for session bud.
Michael: Ohh, there were a lot of friggin sessions BUD!
the audience laughs.
Michael: .. I think 你 were working on 更多 than just her back hand!
Kyle: Amy's backhand has gone a long way.. Sometimes it has to get worse to get better.
Michael: Yeah, well, why don't I come up there and practice my backhand?.. ON YOUR FACE!
Audience laughs.
Kyle: Bud, your negative energy is seriously bringing me down.
Michael: Ohhhh, I hope it IS, "bud".
Audience laughs.
(Mike and Franklin re-enter the tow truck, and literally tear down the entire house).
Michael: Yeah! Fuck him! And fuck his house!
Audience laughs.
Franklyn: Man, your crazy dog.. 你 should take some anger management classes.
Audience laughs.
Michael: Already tried that.. It does absolutely ZERO amount of help.
Audience laughs.
Michael: Anyway.. Let's just hope nothing bad comes from this..
Suddenly a car full of mafia members purposely crashed into Michael's tow truck.
Michael: Hey! Watch where you're going- (starts getting shot at). SHIT!
Franklyn: Shit man! We're screwed!
Michael: It's okay.. The 商店 Boyz CD is still playing so at least we have good background music.
Audience laughs.
Franklin: What are 你 talking abou-
Michael: (already out of the car), (takes out a pistol, and starts opening 火, 消防 as the Imma Ball song plays in the background).
Franklyn: (soon joins in, also with a pistol).
Within a few moments the battle was already over.
Franklyn: (sees one still alive, and points his pistol at him) You! Tell us why 你 attack us!
Survivor: Alright.. We were sent b-.. (gets shot in the head, dead).
Michael: Sorry.. I thought the safety was on.
Audience laughs.
Franklyn: But he was about t-
Michael: Whatever man. Let's just get the house. (puts his pistol in the holder)
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Micheal, desperately needing money for Margarito to leave him alone, went to an old friend of his, Lester Crest.
Lester: If you're that desperate, we can rob that old jewelry store.
Michael: Are 你 fuckin kidding me, I'm trying to LOSE heat.
Lester: I was just sayin-
Michael: Shut up wheels!
Audience laughs.
Lester: Don't call me when-
Michael: I am not robbing any Jewelry store.. No way in hell!
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Michael: (dramatically bursts into the 说 jewelry store, with bite 头盔 to hide his face, and loaded M16 assault rifle) YOUR BEING FUCKIN ROBBED!
Audience laughs and claps.
Packie MacCreary: Yeah! On the fuckin floor!
Michael: Yeah! This is your moment! Please don't make us waste all the hard work your plastic surgeons have done. ON THE FLOOR! NOW!
Michael: (approaches worker) You! Fill this bag with clean, unmarked diamonds!.. But first!.. But first fix that notepad so it's at a right angle with the corner of your desk!..
Audience laughs
Packie: And tap that pile of receipts against a flat surface so they're not sticking out haphazardly!
Audience laughs
Michael: (takes of the helmet) Okay, 你 know what., Fuck the money! Everybody grab a broom, we're gonna tidy this place up!
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(All the hostages finished cleaning the diamond store)
Michael: There? That wasn't so hard now was it?
Audience laughs.
Michael: too bad it was for nothing.. (He and Packie start breaking the glass cases to steal all the diamonds.
the audience laughs.
Michael: Man, I haven't been this excited since I passed 秒 grade.
FLASHBACK ONE:
(Michael is a little boy, chasing invisible 蝴蝶 in the background.
Principle: I'm sorry Mrs Townley, your son will have to redo 秒 grade.
FLACKBACK TWO:
(Michael is a young teenager in the back)
Principle: I'm sorry Mrs Townley, your son will have to redo the 秒 grade.
FLASHBACK THREE:
Principle: Good job Mr Townley 你 passed the 秒 grade.
Michael: (now an adult) Oh that is fantastic.. Now if 你 excuse me, I have to go now.. There's a crazy Mexican after me, and I have to rob a jewelry store to pay him back
EPISODE 9;
Pinkie Pie: (still living on his couch), (Watching TV)..
ON THE TV: John Coffee: He killed me with their love... That's how it each and every day.,
Trevor: (sees what she's watching)... Pink., I told 你 to stop watching those damn hillbilly movies..
Pinkie: It's not a hillbilly movie. It has Tom Hanks
Trevor: Exactly.. Tom Hanks.. The king of hillbillies.
Pinkie: Whatever..
Mailman: (rings their door bell)
Trevor: (bursts through door with loaded shotgun) WHAT DO 你 WANT!
Mailman: (cowering in fear) 你 got a letter! 你 got a letter!
Trevor: (calmly takes letter) Thank 你 god sir, 你 are a value to mailmen everywhere..
Mailman: That means 你 are not gonna kill me!?
Trevor: Fine.. I won't kill you.
Mailman: Thank go-
Trevor: Pinkie will..
Mailman: Who-
Pinkie: (suddenly and violently tackles out).
(Violent beating sounds and sprays of blood fill the background)
Trevor: (calmly opening letter, making no attempts to stop her).
Trevor: (calmly to pinkie, but not even looking up) Remember to go for the heart.
Pinkie: (off view) Yes boss.. (Ripping sounds)
Trevor: Good girl.
Trevor: (reads letter) Who's Martin Madrazo..
Pinkie: (putting her victim in the oven) he can't fit!
Trevor: Forget the cupcakes... I need to travel somewhere.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Martin: Ahh. Glad 你 could joi-... What's with the pony?
Trevor: (petting Pinkie as she's sitting beside him) She's loyal to me okay.. So deal with it.
Pinkie: ... Plus there's nothing on tv.
Martin: Whatever.. Anyway. I need 你 to kill my cousin., shoot down the jet as he-
Trevor: (excited) Is he coming from Ireland!?.. Is he a leprechaun!?
Michael: (sitting on the other side of the couch, as it's big enough for all three), I highly doubt he's a lepre-
Trevor: Kick ass! I never killed a leprechaun before.. 你 think if I shoot it, it will bleed out lucky charms!?
Pinkie: ... I too am wondering that
Martin: Guys foc-
Michael: Why would a leprechaun have a private jet!?
Trevor: I don't know.. Maybe he-
Martin: GUYS!
All three: Sorry
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Pinkie: (using a huge sniper rifle) I see the plain.
Michael: Good, now be very careful. This is very impo-
Pinkie: (fires) Got it.
Michael: What!?.. (Looks up and sees the plain coming down).. I'll be damned., not a bad girl.
Pinkie: (radios Trevor) Boss, he is coming down, 你 in position.
Trevor: Ready to go! (Starts chasing the plain with a dirt bike).
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Eventually Trevor reached the crashed plane, shot the target and 偷了 the files.
Trevor: I got the files.. Heading to Martin.
Michael: (off view) Okay.. I gotta get rid of this truck and gun.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael: (pours gas on and around the truck then shoots the gas with his pistol).
The truck with the 步枪 exploded in a huge blast.
Pinkie: Ohhh.. Pretty, colors.
Michael: Hold on.. How the fuck are we gonna get outta here now.. I can't even remember where I parked..
Pinkie: Not a problem.. Can I borrow your pistol?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Man: (sitting in his car 阅读 paper).
Pinkie: (appears outside the car, out of nowhere and holding Michael's pistol)
Pinkie: (violently) GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR! (The man screams in horror). GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR WAIT NOW!
Pinkie: (violently smashes the car window with the gun) GET OUT!
Michael: (Nervously pulls out the driver and he and Pinkie drive off).
Michael: Did we just jack somebody?
Pinkie: (cutely) We sure did Mikey, we sure did
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael: The fuck, has happened!? Why do 你 have HIS car!?
Trevor: Piece of turd eh? No wonder people are stabbing him in the back.
Michael: T!
Trevor: I don't know why 你 mess around with people like that Mikey, I mean rea-
Michael: Trevor! Answer the fuckin question!
Trevor: I asked for a decent 日 pay, for a decent 日 work.. And he... Kinda got a little angry... So I admit. I.. Kinda got a little angry.
Pinkie: ... Did 你 kill him!?
Trevor: What kinda fuckin animal do 你 guys take me for!? No, I didn't kill him!
Trevor: But I DID kidnap his wife!
Michael: WHAT THE FUCK DID 你 DO!?
Trevor: I just told 你 what I just did... Now.. Unfortunately we may have to lay low for awhile.. But I got a good spot.. I'll drive
EPISODE 10;
Pinkie: (Playing far cry 3).
Trevor: 你 playing that game!?
Pinkie: It's addicting.. 你 would like it boss.
Trevor: I tried it before.. I would have done things a bit differently, I can tell that much.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Trevor: (in cage) 你 don't scare me!
Vaas: Too bad! I own you.. (Goes close to him) You're my bitc- (Trevor punches him through the cage).. AHHH!
Trevor: 你 were saying.
Vaas: Fuck you!
Trevor: No fuck you!
Vaas: No fuck YOU!
Trevor: You!
(They keep at it until finally Hoyt calls Vaas over).
Vaas: (murders Riley with a dramatic shot to the throat) Oh shit! Did 你 see his face.. Hilario- (gets shot in the shoulder)
Trevor: (holding pistol he 偷了 off one of the two pirates Riley killed on their escape attempt) Crap., I missed.
The pirates open 火, 消防 but Trevor takes cover and takes them as much as he can.
Eventually he catches up to Trevor and it ends with the fist fight most 粉丝 would probably wish for.. Both evenly matched.
Though eventually Trevor knocked a large rock over Vaas's head, knocking him unconscious.
The other pirates open 火, 消防 forcing Trevor to make that dramatic escape scene from the game.
Vaas: (regains consciousness) W- What happened.
pirate: He uhh.. He escaped.
Vaas: Oh did he.
Pirate: Jumped down this cliff.. (Points down it)
Vaas: This one.
pirate: yes bo-
Vaas: (throws him off the cliff) IDIOT!
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Trevor: Pinkie.. 你 got the camera, it's time for our episode..
Pinkie: (holding camera) wait here.
Trevor: Great.. Let's start wit-
Michael: (walks in, uninvited)
Michael: (gives rock out motion) T!
Trevor: (angrily) Get outta here Michael! Your ruining my show!
Michael: A 显示 about you?.. I'm shocked it wasn't ALREADY ruined. (words appear, saying "That's Michael").
Trevor: God! How long are 你 gonna be here!.. Cause now I know how Jimmy feels.
FLASHBACK:
Jimmy: (trying to make a 显示 about himself and is speaking in front of a camera) Yo! This is J dog and I wanna sa-
Michael: (comes in) Jim, how many times must I tell 你 not to talk like that. Your chubby white kid. Start 表演 like it!
Jimmy: (angrily) Your ruining my 显示 Micheal!
Michael: Please don't do such a thing.. It's bad enough Trevor has one..
END FLASHBACK:
Michael: Well.. I wouldn't be here in the first place if SOMEONE didn't piss off that Mexican.
Trevor: Whatever..
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Steve: We need 你 to steal nerve gas from a bio lab.
Michael: (sarcastically) Sure.. And while we're at it, why don't we all go watch my little pony, and eat raw cookie doe.. Because today's the 日 to stop making SENSE!
Trevor: Is that sarcasm!
Michael: Your fuckin A right it's sarcasm! 你 fuck!.. A few weeks ago! I was happily retired. Soaking 由 my swimming pool! And my psychotic best friend shows out of nowhere! To torture me over mistakes I made, HONEST mistakes I made, almost decade ago!.. So forgive me! 你 ignorant fuck! BUT SARCASM! IS ALL I FUCKIN GOT!.. Sarcasm!.. And a room full of 你 cunts!
Trevor: YES! Welcome back buddy! It is the old 你 again! (claps).
Steve: Yeah, yeah.. Just get going.. And keep us way out of it.
Michael: (sighs).. Guess we're robbing a bank... Let's get the gang together.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile at a construction sight back at Los Santos.
Gunman 1: Man! It's so fuckin hot!
Gunman 2: I know, somebody fuckin shoot me!
(Ironically they both get shot in the head, dead).
Franklyn: (holding a 马枪, 卡宾枪 rifle) that was easy enough.
Gunman: Man, somebody should may as well toss me off this roof, cause I hate this pla-
Franklyn: (comes from behind and ironically tosses him off the roof, to his death).
Franklyn: This isn't so ba- (starts getting shot at) AH SHIT! (Finds the nearest cover as he takes out his 马枪, 卡宾枪 rifle).
Franklyn found himself surrounded 由 30 gunmen, armed with 马枪, 卡宾枪 rifles as well.
Franklyn: Damn! How many dudes they got here!
Before long this turned into a heavy gunfight, as Franklyn began gunning down the enemies.
Eventually only one remained but as Franklyn prepared to shoot him he realized he had to reload, as the click sound was heard.
Gunman: Haha, 你 suc-
Franklyn: (head butts the gunman).
But out of nowhere, a 秒 gunman came out, shooting at Franklyn with a SMG).
Franklyn: (used the earlier gunman as human shield before jumping into cover and reloading).
Once reloaded, Franklyn managed to shoot the gunman 3 times in the chest, killing him.
Franklyn soon reached the roof of the building shooting down a helicopter that contained his main target, and then parachuted off the roof.
Franklyn: (calling Lester) It's taken care of., but damn.. That shit went south.
Lester: I know.. But keep things low., very good work Franklyn.
Franklyn: It's what 老友记 do.
Lester: Huh. Didn't realize we 'were' friends.. But anyway.. Trever and Michael need 你 to meet them at Grand Senora Desert.
Franklyn: Okay.. I'll see what I can do.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Packie: Sorry I'm late Michael.
Michael: As long as 你 won't do anything inappropriate like Trevor di-
Trevor: (offended) it's not inappropriate.. It's.. It's..
Michael: It's another one of your fuckin disasters! That's what is!... First 你 take a hostage, without my consent!.. And then 你 start some sort of high school romance with her!.. ARE 你 INSANE!
Trevor: Sh-
Michael: SHE'S A SIXTY 年 OLD HOUSEWIFE!
Pinkie: Actually.. She's 57.
Michael: Stay outta this Pinkie!.. Your crazy boss here isn't making my situation any easier!
Franklyn: (comes in) 嘿 gu-
Trevor: (to Michael) Ohhh! There's a surprise! I knew it would be about you!.. It always is!
Michael: I miss my family!
Trevor: Oh you're full of shit!.. All 你 did was ignore them, but now that they're gone, 你 miss them!.. Fan-fuckin-tastic!
Michael: Yeah, we-
Franklyn: Hey! HEY! Enough! 你 brought me here! But if it's just to hear 你 argue. I could have stayed in Los Santos..
Lester: (sarcastically) hello Franklyn.
Michael: Okay. Okay. Me Packie and Trevor will handle the bank.. See if those 《金装律师》 work.
Franklyn: And me?
Lester: 你 and the 小马 will handle getting away.. (sarcastically) That? Work for everyone?
Everyone: Yep.
Lester: Good.. I myself will be the hacker..
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Franklyn: 你 know.. This is the first time 你 and I have spent any real time together.
Pinkie: I know. It's weird right?
Franklyn: Yeah.. We should hang out 更多 often-
Pinkie: No. I mean, this wait now, is weird..
Franklyn: Ohh... Yeah., Kinda is actually.. But still must be better than your boss.
Pinkie: Fair point.. Especially after I introduced him to Scooty.
FLASHBACK:
Pinkie: (holding Scootaloo cutely) Boss, this my little friend Scootaloo.. 彩虹 Dash and I like to call her Scooty... I was asked to watch her for a bit.
Trevor: I see.
Pinkie: ... Wanna hold her?
Trevor: Sure, thanks.. (holds Scootaloo).
Pinkie: (looks at her watch for 2 秒 before looking back up) Okay, and now we- OH MY GOD!
Trevor: (accidentally killed Scootaloo within the 2 秒 Pinkie looked away) I'm sorry., I was just petting her, honest..
END FLASHBACK).
Franklyn: Yeah.. I can see that happening.
Pinkie: Whatever.. Let's use that tractor.. 你 drive. I shoot.
Franklyn: Are 你 sure 你 even know 'how' to sho-
Several Gunmen: STOP THEM! (fires gun)
Pinkie: (kills all of them within a few seconds, with her 泵 action shotgun). Convinced yet?
Franklyn: ... Yes.. Yes I am
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Trevor: (dramatically bursts in the bank, firing off a round of his shotgun to 显示 everyone that they mean business) TODAY'S GOING ONE OF TWO WAYS, FRIENDS!
Michael: Yeah! Everybody down! Anybody moves and Packie here will blast them!... Now. Who here is the owner?
Manager: (raises up) I am-
Packie: (shoots the manager dead)
Michael: WHAT ARE 你 DOING!?
Packie: 你 sai-
Michael: Yes! But he was the only one with combination to the safe! Now the whole thing is blown!
Packie: Relax Mikey., I got this.. (opens the 安全 由 using a blow torch, opening it the old fashioned way).
Packie: Shit! The cops are everywhere!
Michael: It's okay McCreary. We prepared for this.. Put on the suits.
Trevor: (now wearing the suit and holding a minigun) Now that we're all dressed up, let's put up some fitting music!
Michael: Oh god, please don't play Andr-
Trevor: TOO LATE!
Trevor: Time to face the music!
They dramatically burst through the doors, which begins the fight song PARTY HARD - ANDREW WK:
After nearly an 小时 of dramatic, violent fighting.
Witch involved blowing up cop cars and helicopters while ripping unlucky enemies into millions of pieces.
Eventually they reached some type of construction sight.
Packie: Fuck! Now they got the fuckin army!?
Michael: Just keep shooting! (tosses a grenade, killing several men at once).
LATER:
Franklyn and Pinkie arrived with a large bulldozer, while Pinkie shot several from the passenger seat.
Franklyn: Guess were shooting our way outta here!
Pinkie: (sarcastically) 你 don't say.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
While Packie ended up going another direction.
Pinkie and the main three ran into a chicken factory to escape tank fire.
Army man 1: Man. I am so bored.
Army man 2: Yes.. But those assholes are still out ther- (suddenly Pinkie comes up from behind and slices his throat in the same barbaric fashion as the Walking Dead scene).
Army man 1: HEY! (prepares to shoot her but Pinkie leaps onto him and repeatedly stabs him till he is long dead).
Trevor: (having witnessed the scene) Damn Pinkie.. I wasn't already trying to get with that Mexican lady. I would fuck the blue straight outta your eyes.
Pinkie: That's.. Is oddly flattering.
Michael: (mockingly) 嘿 爱情 birds.. Can we please just keep moving.
EPISODE 11;
Inside a snowy graveyard.
Trevor: Come on Pinkie, dig faster!
Pinkie: (digging with her hooves) Don't pressure me boss.
Michael: (soon arrives). Hey.. You're wasting your time.
Trevor: Don't try to stop me Michael!.. Pinkie will dig up the grave.
Michael: Why!?
Trevor: Because!.. It's time to discover the truth.
Michael: No. I mean, why'd 你 drag Pinkie into this.
Pinkie: I was bored.
Pinkie: Got it.. (pulls out the tombstone).
Trevor: This is it.. Moment of truth.. (opens the coffin, finding Brad's body). AHHHHH! As if I didn't know!... Brad!
Michael: Look... We all do what we gotta do to survive... This THING., It didn't end up the way it was supposed to.
Trevor: Oh, and how's that!?.. With Brad in the ground, and me in bars!?... 或者 both of us in the fuckin coffin!?
Michael: Look.. Brad got shot.. 你 saw it.. He didn't make it.. I got shot, and did.. That's it!
Trevor: (still angry)
Michael: Hold on.. Are 你 really angry, 或者 just making yourself seem louder?
Trevor: I'M REALLY ANGRY!
The voice from Spongebob: BLISTERING FURY
Trevor: 你 were lying to me Mikey!..
Michael: Look, I'm sor-
Trevor: (raises his pistol) LIAR!
Michael: (puts his hands up) Wow, wow, T!
Trevor: Shut up and raise your gun, pussy!
Michael: I.. I can't... the airport took them all..
Pinkie: 你 two huh?
Michael: 你 took the airport?
Pinkie: Trevor didn't really have room for me.
Trevor: Well.. Guess that just make this that much easi-
The Chinese team appears out of seemingly nowhere.
Trevor: SHIT! RUN PINKIE! (the two make a break for it, leaving Mikey to enemies).
Chinese soldier: (points AK47 at Michael) Now 你 di-
Michael: (imitates Max Payne 由 head butting him, grabbing the gun as he falls, and shoots him dead from the ground).
The other two Chinese soldiers fired at Michael, but Michael dives into cover and quickly kills them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Trevor: (shoots one of the enemies as they make their escape)
Pinkie: (trips and falls over but sadly Trevor didn't see this and unintentionally left her behind).
Pinkie: (tries getting up, but gasps as one of the enemies holds a Uzzi towards her, ready to pull the trigger.
The gunman: I don't know who 你 are, but your gonna di-
Suddenly, and out of nowhere, there came a dramatic rain of bullets, hitting all over the enemies back and a few times in the back of the head, all from behind, and he fell down dead.
The shooter then reveals himself.
Pinkie: M, Michael?.. Why did 你 save me? After Trevor and I-
Michael: (helps her up) I know you., 你 not as bad as Trevor... Besides. I grew to like you.. But just as a friend of course.
Pinkie: Well.. I grew to like 你 too.. But just as a friend.
Michael: Alright then.. I guess it's just 你 and me now.
Pinkie: I'm sure T will be back... Your right. It's just us.
Michael: (hears faded voice) Uh oh.. This isn't over.
Pinkie: What do 你 mean?
Michael: (kicks the Uzzi to her).. I hope 你 know how to use this.
Pinkie: (picks up the Uzzi and examines it a bit). Ohhh., Your be surprised.
Michael: Then get ready.. They have 更多 where those guys came from.. a LOT more.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
ONE BATTLE LATER;
Michael: Fuck! Trevor must have stolen my car!
Pinkie: Well, we got to think of som-
Suddenly there was a dramatic rain of bullets. Sadly Pinkie took most of it and was killed in action, and Michael was severely injured as a few bullets hit him as well. Making him fall to his knees in agony.
Suddenly the chinese forces surrounded Michael at gunpoint.
Gun man: We got 你 know bitch!
Michael: (angry) 你 fuckin killed Pinkie!.. Why would 你 do that!
Gunman: 你 fuckin kidding!? She's been nothing but trouble for us. She even 偷了 all our meth.. But anyway, you're coming with us Mister De Santa.
Michael: Oh yeah, well fuck y- (gets knocked unconscious).
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Franklyn: Look man. Lester 说 你 have some information on Michael.
Trevor: Michael. Fuck Michael! I hope he's dead.
Franklyn: Look I know that 你 don't mean that.. Just tell me what happened.
Trevor: ... My friend Ron met these Chinese asshole.. I owed them money.. And they mistakenly, thought Michael was a human being, and kidnapped him and Pinkie.
Franklyn: Yeah.. And now it looks like they are holding them somewhere in Los Santos.
Trevor: Yes.
Franklyn: So come on bro!
Trevor: ... Well go fuck yourself!.. 你 want Michael back, that's YOUR problem.. He's dead to me!.. And chances are.. If and when I see him.. He's gonna be dead, to everyone else as well!
Franklyn: But what about Pinki-
Trevor: Pinkie joined team Michael.. She's no better.. (walks off) Leave me out of this.
Franklyn: But Trev-
Trevor: (points at him menacingly) Your pushing your luck pal!.. (citizen walks past him without saying anything).. What was that!?.. WHAT WAS THAT!?
Citizen: Uhh.. Nothin-
Trevor: (punches him hard enough he dies) Asshole!.. EVERYBODY!.. ASSHOLES!
Lester: (from the other side of Franklyn's phone) What did Trevor say?
Franklyn: Man, Michael's being held 由 a Chinese group.. Because of Trevor.
Lester: The irony isn't lost.. I'm sending a tracking app to your phone. It'll work better the closer 你 get... Be careful.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael: (hung upside down) I told you! He ain't my G-Lap!
The leader: Don't try to persuade me, 你 ain't lovers!
Michael: (angrily) He's laughing at you, 你 fuckin idiot! You're making a mistake!
Leader: it cost a lot of money to find you.. Then 你 kill a whole bunch of my men.. Good day, huh?
Michael: (angrily) Yeah, good day!.. GOOD FUCKING 日 TO YOU!
The device Michael is hanging on, is turned on, slowly lowering Michael to a painful death.
Leader: Let's go.. Trevor Phillips isn't coming.
Michael: (scared for one of the few times in his life) Hey. heyheyhey.. LET ME FUCKING DOWN!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Franklyn eventually began an aggressive gunfight. Slowly shooting his way to Michael, eventually finding him.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
INSIDE MICHAEL'S HEAD AT THE EXACT MOMENT:
A man and Woman are seen laying in bed.
Man: Man. For a school teacher 你 make 爱情 good.
Woman: It's well Jeff. It's 'you make 爱情 well'.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Franklyn: (yelling at him) Michael! Earth to Michael!
Michael: (snaps back to reality) Huh?... What?
Franklyn: We gotta get outta here.. Take this gun (tosses him a pistol).
Michael: What gu- (it hits him the face as he failed to catch it) AAAHHH!
The gun falls down and accidentally shoots Franklin in the foot.
Franklyn: AHHHH! WHAT THE HELL MICHAEL!
Micheal: I'm sorry. I didn't see it.
Franklyn: FU-
link
Franklyn: Alright, here it comes again.. Catch (tosses him the pistol, and Michael catches it this time).
Michael: Tha- (accidently fires it).
Franklyn: (dodges bullet) STOP DOING THAT!
Michael: Sorry.. It was an accident, okay.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A FEW WEEKS LATER:
Michael: See that.. Maybe that's why we're such good friends. We look at old fashioned things.. Like newspapers... Good guys.. Bad guys.
Michael: I don't know.. 你 tell me..We did what 你 said. Right? Got those people off your back? Now, you're gonna do like 你 说 and cut me loose. Right?
Dave: Things aren't gonna work out quite that way. There's a bit of a problem...
Steve: (appears out of the blue) That's right, Davey boy! 你 could say that!
Dave: (annoyed) Steve! I told 你 I would handle it!
Steve: Oh because 你 handled everything so fuckin well far!
U.L Paper Contact: (arrives with the IAA) Put the weapons down fellas! Fun time is over!.. We got ya now!
Michael: Wait, you're that guy from the forth game.
U.L. Paper Contact: Yes, thanks for remembering me..
FIB: (Comes in, armed to the teeth) Hold it right there! This is our bust!
U.L. Paper Contact: Hey, Fuck off, we were here first!
FIB: Yeah, well, fuck you.
Sgt Buzz: (appears) Excuse me.. Anyone wanna 加入 my train?
Michael: Fuck off Buzz! Nobody fuckin cares about fuckin Zombiewood anymore!
Steve: Yeah. That's not even a real gun.
Buzz: Yes it is.. (fires it into the air to prove it's a real gun).
U.L. Paper: (misunderstanding this for an attack) SHOTS FIRED!
Buzz: No, I was just making a poi-
U.L. Paper: (shoots down Buzz, killing him).
L.S.P.D: FREEZE!
U.L. Paper: Fuck off pigs!
Steve: Look, everybody just calm do-
The Chinese team from earlier: We're here for Michael..
Steve: Well get in li-
Merryweather chopper: Put the weapons down! Gentlemen!
FIB: WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY!?
Steve: Fuckin Marryweather!
Michael: (sarcastically) Someone should may as well call the army at this point.
Army: NOBODY MOVE!
Michael: ... I should've guessed.
EPISODE 12;
Michael and Trevor and inside the old Foundry. Trevor armed with a MG and Michael with a sniper rifle. But both of them are awkwardly just standing, not sure what to do.
Trevor: (looks at the viewers and realizes the scene has started). Oh. Uhh. (aham).. This is it Michael. I'll fight against both FIB and Merryweather, and you're bringing a rifle!?
Michael: Yeah. I'm bringing a rifle.. It's a good gun. it'll get the job done..
Trevor: In your dreams!
Michael: That's what I say to Jimmy when he claims Tracy strangled her other sister.. It was just a dream... I really regretted dropping him as a baby..
Trevor: my dad dropped ME as a baby and i turned out... something... (looks around) Where the hell am I?
Franklyn: Yo! What the fuck am doing trying to save 你 guys, if you's just gonna kill each other!
Michael: Hey! 你 ain't saving me! You're saving him!
Trevor: No your saving THIS, fat! Fuck!
Franklyn: Yo. 你 need to cut this shit out, otherwise I'll put a bullet in BOTH of you
Lamar: (on walky talk) I think they are coming for 你 homy!
Franklyn: 你 hear that 你 two.. Now let's get ready for some "fun"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Frankyln blew up the car holding most of the Chinese guys.
Only ones left were the Wei and the same Sgt who took out Pinkie.
Wei Chang: Yo! What the fu- (gets dramatically shot in the head and killed at the spot).
The Sgt: Man... Thank god that wasn't me!
Franklyn: Hahaha.. (points the gun) Your next!
The Sgt: WHAT THE HELL DID I DO!?
Franklyn: (angrily) Remember Pinkie!
The Sgt: Can't 你 take a joke!?
(long silence).
Franklyn: (shoots the Sgt in eye, like Niko does to Vlad).
Franklyn walks back to his bike.
Michael: (out of actual nowhere) 你 kicked 屁股 out there kid!
Franklin: Micha- I thought 你 were going after Stretch!?
Michael: Relax. I got the newer guy to do it.. 说 he's been aching to 加入 the fun..He even has a requite of his own.
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ELSEWHERE:
Packie's car is still driving to Stretch's last known location.
彩虹 Dash: (in back seat) Why am I here?
Packie: Because 你 seem tough. With Pinkie... Gone... I figured I'll try again with another one of you.
彩虹 Dash: (yawns).
(Packie's 拖拉机 says they're getting closer).
Packie: (cocks his pistol).. Whoa!.. 你 feel that, little pony!? Huh!? That tingling in your balls? Big metal 蝴蝶 fluttering around your stomach!
彩虹 Dash: ... Are 你 sure 你 don't have testicular cancer?
Packie: You're not feeling it... I got something to get 你 going..
PACKIE PLAYS THIS SONG; link
Packie: WHOO!... (shaking his pistol back and forth as he dances to the song). Let's go do some damage!
彩虹 Dash: Sure. But... Don't 你 have anything better than Linkin Park?
Packie: (dramatically slams on the brake pedal. Causing the car to make the loud screech sound).
Packie: *enraged* BETTER THAN LINKIN PARK!?
彩虹 Dash: I'm sorry. But their just not very go-
Packie: That's cause you're so literally stuck in the clouds, 你 have no idea what REAL 音乐 is!
彩虹 Dash: I'm sorry I-
Packie: JUST GET OUT!
彩虹 Dash: (out of fear, she gets out and flies away).
Packie: (drives off).. I'll probably be better off alone anyway.
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Stretch: I am TOTALLY gonna betray Franklin and Lamar, even though we grew up together.. Just makes it 更多 fun that wa-
Packie: (holding double barrel shotgun). Yo Stretch..
Stretch: What do 你 wa- (gets a shotgun blast to the face, killing him).
Packie: Huh.. That was eas-
Voice 1: Oh my god! He killed Stretch!
Voice 2: The bastard!
Packie: (makes a run for it, but gets shot at, and has to run to cover).
Packie: Guess were doing this.. Time for some music!
Plays LINKIN PARK - ONE STEP CLOSER as Packie makes short work of his enemies.
The battle ended rather quickly, with Packie unharmed.
Packie: All done.. And did it all without backup.
彩虹 Dash: (shows up, only to realize the battle is already over, and leaves again).
Packie: (radios Franklyn) 嘿 Frank.. Your pal Stretch ain't a problem no more.
Franklyn: Shit.. He wasn't my pal, he was a dude that jumped us homey.. Thanks.
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Michael: (walking towards the ferris wheel).
Michael: (on phone) Why do "I" have to be the one to take out Steve Heines?
Trevor: (off view) Because, Packie took out Stretch, so 你 need a new target... Otherwise your missing out in the fun.
Micheal: Wow.. I actually agree for once.
Trevor: (off view) exactly. So cheer up.
Steve: (looking paranoid) Stop pointing it so fuckin close to my fuckin face!
Cameraman: I'm sorry,okay.. But it's a small 太空 up here. I can't go much further than this.
Steve: Fuckin excuses!.. But whatever.. Just don't go any closer than that.
Steve: (still looking paranoid) Hi, this is Steve Heines, and...
Cameraman: (goes closer).
Steve: (violently grabs for him, but the guy dodges) GET THAT FUCKIN CAMERA OUTTA MY FAC- (accidentally falls off the farris wheel).
Michael: (still on phone) What makes 你 so sure he's even her-
Steve: (falls down breaking his neck and laying dead waiting in front of Michael).
Michael: Huh... That works.
Trevor: (from phone) What works?
Michael: N- Nothing... Just call me when 你 got Devin.
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Trevor: (drives to Weston's house, rocking out to the chorus of "I get wet - Andrew WK" on his speakers, using one of his many albums 由 them).
Gunman: Do 你 hear tha- (he and the gunman beside him both get ran over).
Trevor: (jumps out holding a hunter knife).
A gunman reaches for the gun but Trevor ran over and cut through his stomach, and tore a huge hole though most of his body.
Trevor then revealed himself to be very strong, as he lifted the gunman off the ground, using only the hand holding the knife, and threw him down the edge, but Trevor somehow still had the 刀 in his hand.
Gunman 1: I am so bore-
Trevor: (comes up from behind and stabs the 刀 into his head, killing him instantly).
Gunman 2: Oh. Thank god that wasn't m-.
Trevor: (stabs him in the neck, and then in the stomach, brutally killing him).
Somehow it turned into a full out gunfight. Trevor wins it.
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Devin: (in the box) I'd much rather stay in here where it's safe.
Last guard left: It's completely fin-
Trevor: (appears out of nowhere grabbing the guard from behind and violently cutting open his throat with the knife).
Trevor: (bursts open the box and kidnaps Devin).
Trevor: (throws him in the trunk) Make yourself comfortable, slick!.. (gets in the driver's seat).
Devin; 你 won't get away with thi-
Trevor: (blasting death metal) Sorry! Can't hear you!
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Michael and Packie are waiting at the cliff.
Packie: He's Canadian!?
Michael: Yep, some lonely Canadian, ex-brony, still live with his parents.
Packie: God! no wonder we're all so screwed up in this version!
Michael: Yeah.. Soon as I found out. I was ready to put a fuckin bullet in my mouth.
Packie: I don't blame you..
Michael: Yeah, but what can we do.. He's still the one 写作 this.
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Michael: (makes a large speech, which ends in the four of them throwing the car down the cliff, with Devin still inside).
Trevor: ... Did anybody else get a boner just now?
Packie: what now?
Michael: Now we keep a low profile.. 你 know... Usual shit.
Franklyn; Could we still hang out together though?
Michael: Damn right we can..
Packie: ... Say, what do 你 guys do when the screen goes black?
(Screen goes black)..
