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So NieR: Automata is a great game. Everyone has sang this games praises and that is for very good reasons. I’ve sang the games praises on numerous occasions and will probably do so again and again. But every game has to start somewhere. Some of 你 may not know this, but NieR has got a sort of Persona situation going on, as in the spin-off game is a 更多 流行的 game than the mainline series. And how could that be? Well… it’s quite simple to see. Drakengard, known in 日本 as Drag-On Dragoon, was a game created 由 Yoko Taro, who created it to make a 更多 grim RPG with no morally just characters, no fun adventures, and certainly no rewarding the player for endless slaughter. I get that being told you’re a bad person for killing millions of enemies is not something a lot of people like, but as long as it’s trying to tell an interesting narrative then it can be forgivable, and Drakengard does have a neat narrative. I can also forgive it if the gameplay is fun. Undertale is a good 最近的 example of this, and that game was really fun to play. And Drakengard… Is not! I’m sorry to throw it out there right outta the gate, but every positive I have for Drakengard is completely ruined for me 由 the gameplay itself, but let’s at least get into the plot before I do rain on the cult following’s parade.



The game follows our hero Caim, a young man who has a massive hate boner for the Empire, an army of nights that worship entities called The Watchers for murdering his parents. He is the brother of the goddess, Furiae, who protects the world from the destruction of the Watchers. With the help of a pact partner, a dragon named Angelus, Caim cuts a bloody path to the Empire to get revenge and save his sister. Typical RPG stuff until 你 start pulling back the veil of the games story and explore it in deeper detail. If there is one thing I 爱情 about this game, it’s the unapologetic dark story telling. Everything in this game has a depressing backstory to it. Even the weapons 你 collect are depressing as all hell. And it really doesn’t help with your party members being just as horrible as Caim. Sure, Caim is a hero, but he is all about murdering the Empire for the hell of it. He also can’t speak. I mean, he could in the intro, he had a voice actor, but on a neat twist on the silent protagonist trope, for Caim to become a pact partner, he had to sacrifice something, that being his ability to speak. All of his party members sacrifice something. Leonard, the priest, sacrificed his sight. Arioch, the elf, sacrificed her ability to have children. And Seere, the annoying one, sacrificed his mortality and stayed young. And like I said, most of these characters are awful people. Seere is just the goodie-toe shoes of the group, but Arioch is a cannibal that eats children to have something inside of her, and Leonard is… well… Leonard is a pedophile… so… I don’t know which is worse. And remember, these are our protagonists. This is not me hating on the story. The opposite, really. I 爱情 this darker turn and I can’t get enough of it. It’s probably why I was lured in 由 NieR: Automata. And not 由 other... 更多 alluring means… Ahem, so how about that gameplay?
Well, 你 have two versions of gameplay. On ground combat and ariel combat. The on ground combat can range from two types of things. Boring as hell 或者 annoying as hell. There are very few times 你 will have fun. Enemies are either way to easy and just swarm 你 like it’s a 王朝 Warriors game. 你 spam the square button like a motherfucker. Don’t let up. Occasionally you’ll hit the 三角形, 三角 button to do a magic attack, but that’s it. And I bitched about the lack of variety in Gungrave’s combat, but this is just sad. I wouldn’t mind if there was so much the game asks 你 do with the ground combat. Kill this platoon, now go kill this group of enemies, now kill all these enemies. I’m aware that 你 can use the dragon, but every time I do, it’s not long before a wizard 或者 a pack of annoying archers shoots her and sends her away, so it’s mostly just ground combat. But the annoying as hell part is reserved for much later in the game when the enemies can surround 你 and 拍击, smack, 味道 你 around in groups. One really bad instant was when I was at 75% health and I was immediately knocked down to 5% in a second. I didn’t even realize what was happening before I panicked. Sure, I survived, but still. And in the late game areas, where healing is few and far between and enemies get 更多 and 更多 relentless, it slowly starts to drain you. Now the aerial combat, that’s where the real fun is at. If the game was all just air combat, I would probably have 更多 fond things to say about the gameplay, because I really do enjoy playing with my bad dragon… That sounds gross but I’m keeping it. Angelus has weight to her, making her slow to steer, but just weighted enough to not be a pain. It really does have this satisfying feel to it that I can’t explain. Almost like a “You really feel like Spider-Man” thing, I tell you. But seriously, the amount of shit 你 have to dodge while fighting back, it almost becomes a 3D bullet hell game. 你 can chain a few fireballs onto enemies, be it one for major damage 或者 multiple to get 更多 enemies. 你 can also charge your magic to get a big magic attack for even 更多 damage. It’s not much, but it’s amazing. I remember one boss fight with the Wyrm where just running in and charging my attacks wouldn’t work. I had to 火, 消防 straight at the Wyrm and then dodge right out of the way to avoid a big fireball attack. And then it hit me. I actually have a chance to… strategize. Think of a plan and execute it. I’m finally not slamming my finger on the square button and hoping everyone else dies before I do. Holy shit, this is actually a fun game now!
I’m sorry if I sound really 苦 about Drakengard. But 你 gotta remember, if 你 are someone who played Drakengard… I was going for the E ending. I did get the other endings prior to this, but I wanted to get the E ending, because if there is anything people know this game, it’s this ending. But the requirements for it are absolutely putrid. Collect all 65 weapons in the game. Look, I didn’t like doing it for NieR: Automata, and that game was almost flawless. So a janky game like this, I dreaded what I would have to do. And sure enough, dread hit like a truck. The requirements for getting these weapons ranged from, “Tolerable” to “I wanna fucking die, in real life”. I spent so many hours getting all these weapons, replaying levels for so long. Levels have a time limit, I forgot to mention, about an 小时 at most. That’s pretty forgiving, 给 many levels can be beaten in a short time. But let’s say you’re tasked with killing all the enemies on the field, then killing another group, then a specific number on the other field, but not all of them, and then flying to another spot where new enemies spawned but only kill one in particular. I promise, the requirements were not THAT bad as I make it out to be, but if 你 spend twenty 分钟 doing that, and then die, 你 gotta do it all over again. Are 你 really gonna spend another twenty 分钟 doing that? Hell no 你 aren’t. 或者 at least, I wasn’t. Every time a great story moment took me 由 surprise, I was thrown back into the ground combat sections and was hot and ready to quit the game. Many times I had to take breaks because it was too much for me. I’m so sorry that I am throwing this game under the bus so hard, and I am sure my negativity is only pissing off some 粉丝 of this game, so let me just talk about something I like… kinda. And that’s the actual ending E.
(SPOILERS FOR DRAKENGARD)
So ending E of Drakengard. I’ve spoken about it many times in the past, before I had any context on what the game was. And now, with context in hand, with it all laid out before me… Yeah, it’s still absolutely bat shit insane. And that is because Ending E is a joke ending. So this is after The Watchers descend upon the earth, with giant 婴儿 feasting on everyone and laughing maniacally. Honestly, Yoko Taro, the games creator, is such a mad man, that this is probably normal for anyone at Square that knows him, and I 爱情 that so much. After 你 reach the Mother of the Watchers, Caim and Angelus are thrown into a portal to another world, which is modern 日 Tokyo (Modern in 2003, anyway). And here, we have the final boss. A rhythm game fight with the Mother. On one hand, I hate how annoying the fight is because it can kill 你 in one hit and it can change the button prompt at any moment. But there is so much to 爱情 on a visual and thematic standpoint. The sight of this giant beast standing in the grey city, the uncanny feeling of this all taking place in a modern setting, and the damn music. It’s nothing but a few bells, and it’s the most haunting shit I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Just everything about this is so amazing. And after the fight, Caim and Angelus are shot down 由 Tokyo air force and are impaled on the Tokyo Tower, and that’s the ending of Drakengard… But wait! Because this all ends up leading to the spin-off series, NieR. Yes, this joke ending leads to NieR. This batshit insanity is now canon in the world of Drakengard and NieR. That’s like if the Alien Ending from Silent 爬坡道, 小山 played a new role in the new Silent 爬坡道, 小山 games 由 Konami, but that would be stupid and would actually be something modern Konami would do. Please kill me. Honestly, this ending is so perfect in so many ways, simply because it perfectly describes the madness that is Yoko Taro. Everything about this man is admirable, from the insane 显示 that is his interviews and 随意 assortment of story continuations like concertes and 图书 and stuff, to the passion he has for telling stories that are so damn depressing and yet thought provoking. Yoko Taro is a man that I have nothing but respect for and am so thankful that he is getting the chance to work on other games. His creation with NieR: Automata not only brought his franchise out of the darkness and into the public light, but also got his name out there and also saved Platinum Games from financial ruin. This man is so humble and I just want to pinch his ice cold cheeks. That being said… Drakengard is still not a fun game to play. I’m sorry, but this should’ve been a book 或者 something.
(END OF SPOILERS)
Drakengard is unlike any other game, sometimes for better, other times for worse. It is a game that has an amazing story and great writing, though some would say a little too melodramatic at times, but I personally 爱情 it. That said, I don’t ever want to actually play this game again. It’s way too rough, way too janky, and just a slog to get through. I was ready to put the game down 由 the time I got the first ending and I still had four 更多 to get, and I assure you, Ending E, as great as it is, is not worth spending 20 hours of grinding to get. If 你 are truly curious, look it up online. I promise there is nothing 你 are missing from a gameplay perspective. That being said, I would 爱情 to see Drakengard return one day. Not NieR, as much as I 爱情 that, but Drakengard. Sure, Square could pull an Atlus and leave the mainline series to rot and decay while milking the spin-off until there’s nothing left (Where’s that SMT V progress, Atlus?! It’s been three years!). Enhance the gameplay to make it 更多 fun, maybe like Dark Souls 或者 something- No, not in the lame journalist difficulty way, I mean with the weight, the blocking and the amount of enemies that can rush 你 and how 你 gotta plan ahead. I dunno, I’m just spitballing here. Well, let’s 移动 on to awarding this game, and I give it the Endurance Test award. This game has a lot of good ideas, but getting to those good ideas takes a lot of getting through obnoxious levels just to catch a glimpse. Is Drakengard a bad game? No. It functions, it works perfectly, no glitches from what I saw, it’s fine. But it is such a dull game to play that I don’t have much intention of coming back to it aside from looking up analysis 视频 on youtobe 或者 something. Stay tuned when I talk about the inferior version, Drakengard 2: Otherkin Boogaloo.
posted by -SkySplitter-
Legend of Zelda Rap: 由 Smosh

Disclaimer: I don't own the lyrics.

Yeah, my name is Link, man
More well known than 'Lil Wayne
Oh 你 thought my name was Zelda?
(That's a f**king girl's name!)

I've saved the world like 15 times
And saved the princess from demise
And I do it all alone
With no help and no advice

(Hey, look, listen)
Hey look listen 你 f**king annoying fairy
I'd rather be forced to listen
To constant Katy Perry

I think it's about time
I got some recognition
Don't 你 think
Legend of Zelda?
Screw that!
Legend of Link!

[Chorus]
Cause he's the
L to the I to the n to the k
Wears tights everyday
Don't give...
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Jeremy:Yeah, why wouldn't I?" ???:"Exactly! Now follow the stranger into this magic portal!" Suddenly, Jeremy felt a rumble. Jeremy:"Hey! What are 你 doing!?" Just then Jeremy blacked out. He then woke up in a castle? Jeremy:"Where am I!?" ???:"Your in Margonia! Names Oliver. Don't 你 know that fictional things are real? Mario's a nice guy, he's kind of annoying with his jumping sound effects, and Sonic is...well, OK. I mean, 你 don't really get used to giant talking foxes and stuff that easily.

And don't even get me STARTED on this guy! I mean, who would be bad-ass enough to carry a sword...
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posted by Tailsfan99
Frozen," the latest 迪士尼 musical extravaganza, preaches the importance of embracing your true nature but seems to be at odds with itself.

The animated, 3-D adventure wants to enliven and subvert the conventions of typical 迪士尼 princess 电影院 while simultaneously remaining true to their aesthetic trappings for maximum merchandising potential. It encourages young women to support and stay loyal to each other—a crucial message when mean girls seem so prevalent—as long as some hunky potential suitors and adorable, wise-cracking creatures also are around to complete them.

It all seems so...
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Just one 更多 time before I go
I'll let 你 know
And all this time I've been afraid,
Wouldn't let it show
Nobody can save me now, no
Nobody can save me now

Stars can only visible in the darkness,
Fear is ever changing and evolving
And I I I can poison these eyes
And I I I feel so alive

Nobody can save 你 now
The king is down
It's do 或者 die!
Nobody can save 你 now
Nowhere safe
It's the battle cry
It's the battle cry
Battle cry!
Nobody can save 你 now
IT'S DO 或者 DIE

[Guitars]

Nobody can save 你 now
The king is down
It's do 或者 die!
Nobody can save 你 now
Nowhere safe
It's the battle cry
It's the battle cry
Battle cry!
Nobody can save 你 now
IT'S DO 或者 DIE

Just one 更多 time before I go
I'll let 你 know
And all this time I've been afraid,
Wouldn't let it show
Nobody can save me now, no
Nobody can save me now
My Dream Big Special: The Dream Catcher

What do 你 want to get out of life? Ask yourself these 10 important 问题 unearth your deepest desires. (Or 你 could write it in a piece of paper)

1.What excites you?
These are the things that make your 心 pound and your eyes light up!

2.What words would your family and 老友记 use to describe you?

3.What are 你 really good at?
These are the skills you're most proud of. Perhaps 你 are good with words 或者 you're a good listener. No talent is too big 或者 too small. Write them all in a piece of paper!

4.If 你 could spend one 日 learning about anything...
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