So, Tenkai Knights: 《勇敢传说》 Battle, a game on the 3DS that was forgotten about, even 由 enthusiasts of bad video games, like myself, probably for reasons that it deserves. And yes, I am stretching this out as much as I can because I have no idea what Tenkai Knights is. Unlike Deal 或者 No Deal, which I had a vague understanding of, I never watched the show, Tenkai Knights. I can’t make jokes about that. But I what I can make jokes about is that Tenkai Knights: 《勇敢传说》 Battle is a fighting game that was developed 由 Bandai Namco, the same studio that brought us 《铁拳》 and SoulCalibur, some of the best fighting game franchises out there. So how did they manage to screw this one up so bad… I found out in less than a few seconds.
So the game starts with a narration that I can barely hear because of the sound mixing. The voice is so quiet while the 音乐 is bombastic as all hell. Thank god for the subtitles, wouldn’t want to miss this grand tale. So basically an alien race of knights come to earth to protect it and defeat the villain from their world, also something with a dragon. Why do the knights look like blockier Bionicles though. Yeah, remember those things? So after that, we 移动 to the first mission, and suddenly, the cutscene turns to still 图片 with a giant blue Final 幻想 VII textbox that takes up 30% of the screen. It looks horrible. As for the touch screen on the 3DS, it’s just one giant 《绿箭侠》 button that lets 你 移动 onto the 下一个 screen, while the A button can do that just fine. I can’t help but drag this on. This is just the cutscenes and everything looks so unappealing. And the pacing is awful too. One minute, the kids are at an antique shop, then in a basement with alien technology, now the planet is square for some reason and we meet the Tenkai Knights, all within two minutes.
So after all that, we can finally 移动 to the first fight in the game. And that being said, this is one of the worst fighting games I’ve ever played. Yes, 更多 so than Fighter Within. It takes a sort of Smash Bros. approach with it’s large arena, but the enemies never 移动 from their one platform. When 你 jump, 你 gotta hold the direction button first before 你 jump, otherwise 你 will jump in place with no direction of where 你 are going. No matter which enemy 你 go to first, no matter where 你 approach, it seems they are always waiting for 你 and they will always knock your 屁股 out of the sky and fall back to the platform below. It is less of a fight of skill and 更多 of 你 fighting to keep yourself in the sky before 你 get knocked down again. That is until I realized I was trying way too hard. If 你 kill an enemy and then just wait, they will respawn, and if 你 strike them, they will die and 你 will reach your goal. The goal is usually to kill four enemies 或者 eight enemies, but they die in one hit. So 你 can either play fair and get annoyed like hell 或者 play smart and be bored out of your mind. And unlike Fighter Within, I got no 老友记 to play this with, because of fucking course I don’t. Who would have Tenkai Knights on 3DS… On 秒 thought, who in 2019 would have a 3DS?
I can’t say for sure if this truly is the worst fighting game I’ve ever played. It’s a fighting game, and fighting games are competitive first. But from a single player perspective, looking at all the janky battle and the bad controls, it’s not looking so hot right now. And now I have an all new disgust towards Tenkai Knights. I mean, it was 日本动漫 so it was always meant to be trash, but still. Fuck you, 《勇敢传说》 Battle
So the game starts with a narration that I can barely hear because of the sound mixing. The voice is so quiet while the 音乐 is bombastic as all hell. Thank god for the subtitles, wouldn’t want to miss this grand tale. So basically an alien race of knights come to earth to protect it and defeat the villain from their world, also something with a dragon. Why do the knights look like blockier Bionicles though. Yeah, remember those things? So after that, we 移动 to the first mission, and suddenly, the cutscene turns to still 图片 with a giant blue Final 幻想 VII textbox that takes up 30% of the screen. It looks horrible. As for the touch screen on the 3DS, it’s just one giant 《绿箭侠》 button that lets 你 移动 onto the 下一个 screen, while the A button can do that just fine. I can’t help but drag this on. This is just the cutscenes and everything looks so unappealing. And the pacing is awful too. One minute, the kids are at an antique shop, then in a basement with alien technology, now the planet is square for some reason and we meet the Tenkai Knights, all within two minutes.
So after all that, we can finally 移动 to the first fight in the game. And that being said, this is one of the worst fighting games I’ve ever played. Yes, 更多 so than Fighter Within. It takes a sort of Smash Bros. approach with it’s large arena, but the enemies never 移动 from their one platform. When 你 jump, 你 gotta hold the direction button first before 你 jump, otherwise 你 will jump in place with no direction of where 你 are going. No matter which enemy 你 go to first, no matter where 你 approach, it seems they are always waiting for 你 and they will always knock your 屁股 out of the sky and fall back to the platform below. It is less of a fight of skill and 更多 of 你 fighting to keep yourself in the sky before 你 get knocked down again. That is until I realized I was trying way too hard. If 你 kill an enemy and then just wait, they will respawn, and if 你 strike them, they will die and 你 will reach your goal. The goal is usually to kill four enemies 或者 eight enemies, but they die in one hit. So 你 can either play fair and get annoyed like hell 或者 play smart and be bored out of your mind. And unlike Fighter Within, I got no 老友记 to play this with, because of fucking course I don’t. Who would have Tenkai Knights on 3DS… On 秒 thought, who in 2019 would have a 3DS?
I can’t say for sure if this truly is the worst fighting game I’ve ever played. It’s a fighting game, and fighting games are competitive first. But from a single player perspective, looking at all the janky battle and the bad controls, it’s not looking so hot right now. And now I have an all new disgust towards Tenkai Knights. I mean, it was 日本动漫 so it was always meant to be trash, but still. Fuck you, 《勇敢传说》 Battle
