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posted by windwakerguy430
Already, everyone, I’m gonna level with you. I haven’t been out of my house in three weeks. I haven’t seen the son, I only leave my room to eat 或者 use the bathroom, and I’ve been glued to my chair for so long that it has left a permanent mark of my ass. And why is it that I have been in such a horrid state? Because I’ve been playing nothing but Slime Rancher.



Where do I even begin to talk about a game such as this. This is a game that feels so well crafted and so perfectly made that 你 can feel the developers 爱情 and care in it. They make 更新 frequently for the game and are always doing what they can to improve it and the game shines thanks to their dedication. The story follows a new rancher 由 the name of Beatrix, who gains a ranch of her own to start her adventure as well as to receive emails from her friend and maybe find out what happened to the original owner of the ranch. From the start, 你 have a single plot of line and some spots to open up, be it a ranch for Slimes, a garden for fruits and vegetables, a coop for chickens, 或者 a pond 或者 furnace. But before that, 你 gotta get Slimes. And these are just the cutest things around. From the average 粉, 粉色 Slimes to the socially awkward yet adorable Pond Slimes to the cute raccoon Hunter Slimes to the neat but dangerous Rad Slimes. Slime Rancher manages to take the basic 设计 of a ball with dot eyes and a mouth and make a bunch of charming creatures that I want to own. Kirby did that and now Kirby has a huge fandom. It even has bible length lore that is darker than Dark Souls, but we’re getting off topic. It’s not all cute adventures, though. There’s also the Tarrs, evil Slimes that are ravenous and will try to eat your Slimes and ruin your ranch. So 你 also gotta be on protective mode and protect your little goo balls from these bastards.
So 你 collect Slimes for the ranch, that’s neat. But what do 你 do? What’s the goal. Well, as 你 collect and feed Slimes, they start to grant 你 Plorts, which is, in fact, Slime shit, which is apparently super valuable in the world of Slime Rancher. Depending on what plort 你 get, how much 你 have, and on what the market is interested in at the moment, 你 will soon find yourself with a ton of cash and a lot to spend it on. 你 can buy new land to expand your ever growing Ranch to get 更多 Slimes, which gives 你 更多 Plorts, which gives 你 更多 money to spend. 你 can use it to buy upgrades to your Slime Gun 或者 your 首页 或者 your character. 你 can buy worker robots which are incredibly useless and have never helped me out in the slightest and I hate them. Of course, that’s not all there is to do. There’s also a mass open world to explore. 你 start off in a mountain like quarry, before 你 移动 to a mass of rocks near the lack, and later, a cave system, and then a jungle. But as 你 explore the world of Slime Rancher, 你 soon find a strange obelisc in the center of the jungle with a door to open. Suddenly, 你 aren’t just caring for your Slimes and trying to make money, 你 are solving a mystery. A mystery that leads 你 to a strange hologram building with Quantum Slimes and a whole vast desert where 你 discover the truth about the old ranch owner. I was not expecting to get gripped 由 the games silent story-telling only told to 你 in logs from the old rancher and emails from Beatrix’s friends. And I was also not expecting to get hit with them feels. I just wanted to collect new Slimes, open locked doors, and explore the expanding world. And instead, I got a crazy mystery that lead me to a new world and feels for my main character’s friend. And I am glad that the game did that.
Sadly, the game does have some issues. There are a few glitches I noticed from Slimes just not eating and a really cruel one that locked me in between two walls that I was unable to get out of and as a result, had to sacrifice a Quantum Slime just to get out. But like I 说 before, the game is always getting 更新 with new additions and fixes, so I can see them working these out in time. Slime Rancher is one of my 最喜爱的 indie games out there and I’ve only been playing it for a couple of weeks. It’s such an addictive game to play and gives 你 so much to do and a lot of rewards for completing it. If 你 happen to come across this game, and are a 粉丝 of the 更多 relaxing titles like Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon, then Slime Rancher is the game for you. Now if you’ll excuse me, the mark of my 屁股 is starting to get cold.

Up Next: Let’s play some baseball and some funky beats
posted by hetaliaitaly
Well here 你 are
at the edge of the abyss...

at the beginning of infinity

heaven 或者 hell

an afterlife
or a nothingness

forgiveness
or an eternity of suffering ?

Does anyone really know ?

Why have 你 come here ?
What do 你 need ?


To Find a Way to Live ?

Maybe 你 want to take them to die . . . ?


But I ask 你 now..
how many of these pills

would 你 take each 日 to live ?



To feel good, normal good, like everyone else ?

Stable, not depressed, even happy, but normal ?



These are some of the pills I take every day

to save my life.

They are not herbs 或者 antidepressants.



I feel happy, I feel...
continue reading...
posted by invadercalliope
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIII
IIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
PPPPPEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL!
HI EVERYONE!
TODAYS MY 2 EPISODE!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
ITS ME INVADER CALLIOPE YOUR HOST!
NOW ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE SPECAIL GUEST 星, 星级 ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
clapdy clap clap
Invader Callipe:HI ZIM
Zim:I'M NORMAL *walks away*
WELL BYE ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!
WELL GOODBYE EVERYONE THIS IS THE END OF EPISODE 2!
SEE YA LATER BYE BYE EVERYONE!
The End!
Miss Carey: Hello, Allex! Come in!
Allex: Hi! What's happening here?
Mady: It's drama club.
Miss Carey: Come and 加入 us!
Allex: Ok. What are 你 doing?
Ed: We're putting on a play.
Allex: Really? Can i be in it? I like acting.
Nicki: He's a really good actor, Miss Carey.
Miss Carey: Excellent!
Allex: What's the play?
Mady: It's The Ugly Duckling.
Allex: Oh... That's for little children.
Mady: Yes, we're doing it for kindergarten.
Nicki: It's fun!
Ed: I'm the kind man.
Mady: I'm the kind man's doughter.
Alex: What about me?
Miss Carey: You, Alex, can be the ugly duckling.
posted by shutyourface
don't worry this 文章 is not about 羊 或者 bananas it is about a 更多 serious matter.

this is a 辩论 and i want everyone 阅读 this
写作 a 评论 about what 你 think is write 或者 wrong
ok?

so anyway

here i go


what came first

the egg

或者 the chicken?

thats my 辩论 and i want EVERYONE who's a 粉丝
of 随意 to write what they think is right


and become a 粉丝 of me and become a 粉丝 of my
article

and remember

what came first
the egg
或者 the chicken

i am only doing this because i have been
wondering that for ages
EPISODE ONE:

Spike: [snoring]

Twilight: Let's go through this one 更多 time.

Rainbow Dash: [sighs] We've been over it like a million times, Twilight! We found all six keys, defeated Tirek, and got this sweet castle! End of story!

Twilight: Yes, but why?

Applejack: I dunno, sugarcube. Maybe it's just your new house and there ain't nothin' 更多 to it than that.

Rarity: I must say, speaking strictly on aesthetics, there really doesn't need to be 更多 to it. It's all simply divine!

Fluttershy: I agree with Twilight. And Rarity. And Applejack. And 彩虹 Dash. And Pinkie Pie. Oh, and probably Spike.

Spike:...
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SEASON 3;

[shades closing]

[windows clattering]

Fluttershy: Fuzzy Legs, do 你 think 你 could secure those windows?

[webs shooting]

[windows close]

Fluttershy: And you'll alert me if anything scary comes close to the cottage?

[birds squawk]

Fluttershy: Oh, who am I kidding?... It's WHEN something scary comes close to the cottage! Please tell me my hiding place is ready.

Harry: [growls nicely]

Fluttershy: Oh, look, you've filled it with everything I need to survive this awful night. Thank you. Thank 你 all! Now I don't have to step a hoof outside until this whole thing is over.

[bucket clattering]

Fluttershy:...
continue reading...
added by pinkbloom
added by MeiMisty
added by Gretulee
added by Gretulee
added by 3xZ
added by mina27
added by TimberHumphrey
video
posted by CullenProperty
1.    Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys 爱情 flirts.
3. A guy can like 你 for a minute, and then forget 你 afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are 你 doing something?" 或者 "Have 你 eaten already?" are the first usual 问题 a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all 日 but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you,...
continue reading...
DEMENTED POEMS

玫瑰 are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

玫瑰 are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

玫瑰 are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And 显示 me your tits

玫瑰 make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And 你 爱情 it up the shitter

玫瑰 are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

玫瑰 are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

玫瑰 are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

玫瑰 are shit
Violets are crap
显示 me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

玫瑰 are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And 吞, 燕子 it down

玫瑰 are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar 你 grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something 或者 someone

3. Go up to a 随意 person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki 随意 noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a 喷泉 run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to 你 in public about the...
continue reading...
1. At the movies: When 你 meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are 你 doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t 你 try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When 你 ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
continue reading...
added by adultswimperson
Source: 谷歌
I found this hilarious 文章 on pcworld.com
Don't know who the 作者 is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's 锦标 Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my...
continue reading...