Already, everyone, I’m gonna level with you. I haven’t been out of my house in three weeks. I haven’t seen the son, I only leave my room to eat 或者 use the bathroom, and I’ve been glued to my chair for so long that it has left a permanent mark of my ass. And why is it that I have been in such a horrid state? Because I’ve been playing nothing but Slime Rancher.
Where do I even begin to talk about a game such as this. This is a game that feels so well crafted and so perfectly made that 你 can feel the developers 爱情 and care in it. They make 更新 frequently for the game and are always doing what they can to improve it and the game shines thanks to their dedication. The story follows a new rancher 由 the name of Beatrix, who gains a ranch of her own to start her adventure as well as to receive emails from her friend and maybe find out what happened to the original owner of the ranch. From the start, 你 have a single plot of line and some spots to open up, be it a ranch for Slimes, a garden for fruits and vegetables, a coop for chickens, 或者 a pond 或者 furnace. But before that, 你 gotta get Slimes. And these are just the cutest things around. From the average 粉, 粉色 Slimes to the socially awkward yet adorable Pond Slimes to the cute raccoon Hunter Slimes to the neat but dangerous Rad Slimes. Slime Rancher manages to take the basic 设计 of a ball with dot eyes and a mouth and make a bunch of charming creatures that I want to own. Kirby did that and now Kirby has a huge fandom. It even has bible length lore that is darker than Dark Souls, but we’re getting off topic. It’s not all cute adventures, though. There’s also the Tarrs, evil Slimes that are ravenous and will try to eat your Slimes and ruin your ranch. So 你 also gotta be on protective mode and protect your little goo balls from these bastards.
So 你 collect Slimes for the ranch, that’s neat. But what do 你 do? What’s the goal. Well, as 你 collect and feed Slimes, they start to grant 你 Plorts, which is, in fact, Slime shit, which is apparently super valuable in the world of Slime Rancher. Depending on what plort 你 get, how much 你 have, and on what the market is interested in at the moment, 你 will soon find yourself with a ton of cash and a lot to spend it on. 你 can buy new land to expand your ever growing Ranch to get 更多 Slimes, which gives 你 更多 Plorts, which gives 你 更多 money to spend. 你 can use it to buy upgrades to your Slime Gun 或者 your 首页 或者 your character. 你 can buy worker robots which are incredibly useless and have never helped me out in the slightest and I hate them. Of course, that’s not all there is to do. There’s also a mass open world to explore. 你 start off in a mountain like quarry, before 你 移动 to a mass of rocks near the lack, and later, a cave system, and then a jungle. But as 你 explore the world of Slime Rancher, 你 soon find a strange obelisc in the center of the jungle with a door to open. Suddenly, 你 aren’t just caring for your Slimes and trying to make money, 你 are solving a mystery. A mystery that leads 你 to a strange hologram building with Quantum Slimes and a whole vast desert where 你 discover the truth about the old ranch owner. I was not expecting to get gripped 由 the games silent story-telling only told to 你 in logs from the old rancher and emails from Beatrix’s friends. And I was also not expecting to get hit with them feels. I just wanted to collect new Slimes, open locked doors, and explore the expanding world. And instead, I got a crazy mystery that lead me to a new world and feels for my main character’s friend. And I am glad that the game did that.
Sadly, the game does have some issues. There are a few glitches I noticed from Slimes just not eating and a really cruel one that locked me in between two walls that I was unable to get out of and as a result, had to sacrifice a Quantum Slime just to get out. But like I 说 before, the game is always getting 更新 with new additions and fixes, so I can see them working these out in time. Slime Rancher is one of my 最喜爱的 indie games out there and I’ve only been playing it for a couple of weeks. It’s such an addictive game to play and gives 你 so much to do and a lot of rewards for completing it. If 你 happen to come across this game, and are a 粉丝 of the 更多 relaxing titles like Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon, then Slime Rancher is the game for you. Now if you’ll excuse me, the mark of my 屁股 is starting to get cold.
Up Next: Let’s play some baseball and some funky beats
Where do I even begin to talk about a game such as this. This is a game that feels so well crafted and so perfectly made that 你 can feel the developers 爱情 and care in it. They make 更新 frequently for the game and are always doing what they can to improve it and the game shines thanks to their dedication. The story follows a new rancher 由 the name of Beatrix, who gains a ranch of her own to start her adventure as well as to receive emails from her friend and maybe find out what happened to the original owner of the ranch. From the start, 你 have a single plot of line and some spots to open up, be it a ranch for Slimes, a garden for fruits and vegetables, a coop for chickens, 或者 a pond 或者 furnace. But before that, 你 gotta get Slimes. And these are just the cutest things around. From the average 粉, 粉色 Slimes to the socially awkward yet adorable Pond Slimes to the cute raccoon Hunter Slimes to the neat but dangerous Rad Slimes. Slime Rancher manages to take the basic 设计 of a ball with dot eyes and a mouth and make a bunch of charming creatures that I want to own. Kirby did that and now Kirby has a huge fandom. It even has bible length lore that is darker than Dark Souls, but we’re getting off topic. It’s not all cute adventures, though. There’s also the Tarrs, evil Slimes that are ravenous and will try to eat your Slimes and ruin your ranch. So 你 also gotta be on protective mode and protect your little goo balls from these bastards.
So 你 collect Slimes for the ranch, that’s neat. But what do 你 do? What’s the goal. Well, as 你 collect and feed Slimes, they start to grant 你 Plorts, which is, in fact, Slime shit, which is apparently super valuable in the world of Slime Rancher. Depending on what plort 你 get, how much 你 have, and on what the market is interested in at the moment, 你 will soon find yourself with a ton of cash and a lot to spend it on. 你 can buy new land to expand your ever growing Ranch to get 更多 Slimes, which gives 你 更多 Plorts, which gives 你 更多 money to spend. 你 can use it to buy upgrades to your Slime Gun 或者 your 首页 或者 your character. 你 can buy worker robots which are incredibly useless and have never helped me out in the slightest and I hate them. Of course, that’s not all there is to do. There’s also a mass open world to explore. 你 start off in a mountain like quarry, before 你 移动 to a mass of rocks near the lack, and later, a cave system, and then a jungle. But as 你 explore the world of Slime Rancher, 你 soon find a strange obelisc in the center of the jungle with a door to open. Suddenly, 你 aren’t just caring for your Slimes and trying to make money, 你 are solving a mystery. A mystery that leads 你 to a strange hologram building with Quantum Slimes and a whole vast desert where 你 discover the truth about the old ranch owner. I was not expecting to get gripped 由 the games silent story-telling only told to 你 in logs from the old rancher and emails from Beatrix’s friends. And I was also not expecting to get hit with them feels. I just wanted to collect new Slimes, open locked doors, and explore the expanding world. And instead, I got a crazy mystery that lead me to a new world and feels for my main character’s friend. And I am glad that the game did that.
Sadly, the game does have some issues. There are a few glitches I noticed from Slimes just not eating and a really cruel one that locked me in between two walls that I was unable to get out of and as a result, had to sacrifice a Quantum Slime just to get out. But like I 说 before, the game is always getting 更新 with new additions and fixes, so I can see them working these out in time. Slime Rancher is one of my 最喜爱的 indie games out there and I’ve only been playing it for a couple of weeks. It’s such an addictive game to play and gives 你 so much to do and a lot of rewards for completing it. If 你 happen to come across this game, and are a 粉丝 of the 更多 relaxing titles like Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon, then Slime Rancher is the game for you. Now if you’ll excuse me, the mark of my 屁股 is starting to get cold.
Up Next: Let’s play some baseball and some funky beats
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIII
IIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
PPPPPEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL!
HI EVERYONE!
TODAYS MY 2 EPISODE!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
ITS ME INVADER CALLIOPE YOUR HOST!
NOW ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE SPECAIL GUEST 星, 星级 ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
clapdy clap clap
Invader Callipe:HI ZIM
Zim:I'M NORMAL *walks away*
WELL BYE ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!
WELL GOODBYE EVERYONE THIS IS THE END OF EPISODE 2!
SEE YA LATER BYE BYE EVERYONE!
The End!
IIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
PPPPPEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL!
HI EVERYONE!
TODAYS MY 2 EPISODE!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
ITS ME INVADER CALLIOPE YOUR HOST!
NOW ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE SPECAIL GUEST 星, 星级 ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
clapdy clap clap
Invader Callipe:HI ZIM
Zim:I'M NORMAL *walks away*
WELL BYE ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!
WELL GOODBYE EVERYONE THIS IS THE END OF EPISODE 2!
SEE YA LATER BYE BYE EVERYONE!
The End!
Miss Carey: Hello, Allex! Come in!
Allex: Hi! What's happening here?
Mady: It's drama club.
Miss Carey: Come and 加入 us!
Allex: Ok. What are 你 doing?
Ed: We're putting on a play.
Allex: Really? Can i be in it? I like acting.
Nicki: He's a really good actor, Miss Carey.
Miss Carey: Excellent!
Allex: What's the play?
Mady: It's The Ugly Duckling.
Allex: Oh... That's for little children.
Mady: Yes, we're doing it for kindergarten.
Nicki: It's fun!
Ed: I'm the kind man.
Mady: I'm the kind man's doughter.
Alex: What about me?
Miss Carey: You, Alex, can be the ugly duckling.
Allex: Hi! What's happening here?
Mady: It's drama club.
Miss Carey: Come and 加入 us!
Allex: Ok. What are 你 doing?
Ed: We're putting on a play.
Allex: Really? Can i be in it? I like acting.
Nicki: He's a really good actor, Miss Carey.
Miss Carey: Excellent!
Allex: What's the play?
Mady: It's The Ugly Duckling.
Allex: Oh... That's for little children.
Mady: Yes, we're doing it for kindergarten.
Nicki: It's fun!
Ed: I'm the kind man.
Mady: I'm the kind man's doughter.
Alex: What about me?
Miss Carey: You, Alex, can be the ugly duckling.
don't worry this 文章 is not about 羊 或者 bananas it is about a 更多 serious matter.
this is a 辩论 and i want everyone 阅读 this
写作 a 评论 about what 你 think is write 或者 wrong
ok?
so anyway
here i go
what came first
the egg
或者 the chicken?
thats my 辩论 and i want EVERYONE who's a 粉丝
of 随意 to write what they think is right
and become a 粉丝 of me and become a 粉丝 of my
article
and remember
what came first
the egg
或者 the chicken
i am only doing this because i have been
wondering that for ages
this is a 辩论 and i want everyone 阅读 this
写作 a 评论 about what 你 think is write 或者 wrong
ok?
so anyway
here i go
what came first
the egg
或者 the chicken?
thats my 辩论 and i want EVERYONE who's a 粉丝
of 随意 to write what they think is right
and become a 粉丝 of me and become a 粉丝 of my
article
and remember
what came first
the egg
或者 the chicken
i am only doing this because i have been
wondering that for ages
DEMENTED POEMS
玫瑰 are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit
玫瑰 are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy
玫瑰 are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And 显示 me your tits
玫瑰 make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And 你 爱情 it up the shitter
玫瑰 are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted
玫瑰 are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky
玫瑰 are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry
玫瑰 are shit
Violets are crap
显示 me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap
玫瑰 are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And 吞, 燕子 it down
玫瑰 are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
玫瑰 are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit
玫瑰 are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy
玫瑰 are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And 显示 me your tits
玫瑰 make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And 你 爱情 it up the shitter
玫瑰 are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted
玫瑰 are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky
玫瑰 are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry
玫瑰 are shit
Violets are crap
显示 me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap
玫瑰 are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And 吞, 燕子 it down
玫瑰 are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey