随意 Article: Zanhar's Rules of Shipping

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posted by zanhar1

由 all means this is a joke and I don't expect anyone to actually comply with these. But if 你 do, kudos for offering the Zanarchy support. We accept your love. :'D

Rule number 1. The golden rule of shipping; ship it until it's proven unshippable!

#2 They are friends? Ship it!

#3 They are best friends? Ship it harder!

#4 Person A is person B's only friend?? Very ship!

#5 They used to be 老友记 but now they don't like each other? Much ship!

#6 The harder the friendship ending fall out, the harder 你 ship.

#7 If the character x's sibling dated character y, then character x and character y are now shippable.

#8 Okay okay 你 can ship x's sibling with character y.

#9 And if you're feeling adventurous, edgy, and controversial ship person x and his/her sibling.

#10 If they hate each other/are rivals it's shippable.

#11 Is one of these rivals evil? And the other good? Of course that's how it is! Ship it! Ship it hard!

#12 Shipping your 最喜爱的 character's lover with your 秒最喜爱的 character's lover is recommended.

#13 Now don't just ship your 最喜爱的 characters' 爱人 together; play mix n match and have your 最喜爱的 and 秒最喜爱的 switch lovers!

#14 Ya know what's better than one of your 最喜爱的 characters in a relationship? Having your two 收藏夹爱情 each other. Ship that. Pronto.

#15 Yeah, that's all well and dandy. But now your least 最喜爱的 is feeling left out. Follow rules 12 & 13 but switch your 2nd 最喜爱的 out for your least favorite.

#16 What? Not wiiiled enough for you? Fine then, ship your 最喜爱的 with your least 最喜爱的 for maximum mixed feelings!

#17 爱情 triangle? Lol, not a problem; ship them all together in one giant threesome yacht.

#18 Number 17 is a no go? Well ship person A with person B while simultaneously shipping person A with person C.

#19 And then ship person B with person C.

#20 Its a bonus if person A cheated on person B with person C. Then ship person B with person C harder as person A cries in the distance.

#21 Is person A a peasant? Yes? *Le gasp* no way!!! Because person B is a prince/princess. 你 know what that means...SHIP IT!!!

#22 "My ship is sinking though." Go down with it captain.

#23 Person A is a pirate. Wonderful! This person can be shipped with everyone automatically. Let person A chase that booty!

#24 "But it's not canon." Sure it is. Anything is canon if 你 ship it hard enough.

#25 "But no one else ships it?" Then make them.

#26 What's this??? 你 have a NOTP??? Ha ha, no 你 don't everything is shippable. Ship all the things!

#27 Did 你 know that if they are opposites--personalitywise they are shippable.

#28 Your characters control one of the four elements? 你 know what they say; opposites attract.

#29 So do same elements.

#30 Matches like Air/Water 或者 Fire/Earth work too. Sure they are neither opposites nor the same. But we don't discriminate.

#31 Male/Male Female/Female Female/Male. What did I say about discriminating. We don't do that here!

#32 "Yeah, but the 显示 hasn't even aired yet. I just saw the trailer." Wonderful! 你 can start shipping earlier. 你 can ship them before shipping them was cool 你 hipster you!

#33 Do they run in the same pack? Are they part of the same organization? Then ship 'em! Each and every person in the organization will be shipped with every other member.

#34 Does your 最喜爱的 character have a clone? Ship that also.

#35 "But isn't that kinda weird?" *Shrugs* I don't 问题 it.

#36 Is it canon? Lucky you. Ship it.

#37 Not canon? The 作者 is wrong. Fight the man. Put up resistance.

#38 If the word sempai was ever said, it's shippable.

#39 Got real life friends? Ship them.

#40 Hell, ship yourself. Go out and get some 爱情 dammit!

#41 Shipping characters with object is not off limits 你 know. Ship Jerry with his 最喜爱的 lamp shade.

#42 Ship yourself with the character. Your self insert fic is waiting

#43 Ya know what else 你 can ship? 你 and your least favorite.

#44 Someone is hating on your 最喜爱的 character? Ship them with the character.

#45 Oh You're jealous now? Refer to rule 18.

#46 Background characters need 爱情 too. Ship them together.

#47 或者 ship them with the main character.

#48 Secondary is fine too.

#49 Fine 你 can ship singers too.

#50 Every character can be shipped with the author.

Smelly_Tacos, applebear123 and 26 others like this

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SilentForce "Rule #51 Is the character dead? Who cares! Necrophilia exists for a reason!" And after the living person dies,he will be reunited with the already dead person in heaven :D "And a perfect world it will be. They were already intellect, now they will be more so. Zanhar1.2 will be a lovely addition to our budding society of perfect humans. And yes, yes the obedience chip is a necessary invention. It must be utilized immediately lest we get another zanhar3." I also think that the zanhar clones need to get super powers or abilities in order to protect the Zanarchy.Help me choose which clone should get which powers or abilities.Here are the powers and abilities that you can choose from: Ice powers Fire powers Water powers Air powers Earth powers Lightning powers Light Power Darkness Powers Illusion powers Mind Control Telepathy Telekinesis Body possession Vodoo Powers Hypnosis Control over dreams Control over sensibility Stoning powers Sound Powers Time Powers Poison Powers Plant Powers Technology Powers Healing Powers Magnetic Powers Explosion Powers Flying Stretching Jumping Super Speed Super Strength(the one who gets this ability will be even more powerful than Superman)

zanhar1 That's the general hope with rule 51. xP Ice powers - zanhar11 Fire powers - zanhar420 (blaz it) Water powers - zanhar4 Air powers - zanhar276 Earth powers - zanhar86 Lightning powers - zanhar33 Light Power - zanhar10 Darkness Powers - zanhar666 Illusion powers - zanhar Mind Control - zanhar0 Telepathy - zanhar16 Telekinesis - zanhars 5-8 Body possession - zanhar69 ;) Vodoo Powers - zanhar13 Hypnosis - zanhar95 Control over dreams - zanhar24 Control over sensibility - zanhar19 Stoning powers - zanhar51 Sound Powers - zanhar303 Time Powers - zanhar3.14 Poison Powers - zanhar333 Plant Powers - zanhar21 Technology Powers - zanhar3.14159 Healing Powers - zanhar2 Magnetic Powers - Explosion Powers - zanhar420 (blaze it also gets this) Flying - zanhar421 Stretching - zanhar212 Jumping - zanhar524 Super Speed - zanhar16 Super Strength - zanhar3 All of the above - zanhar1 (because I need dis to defeat Bloom)

SilentForce "All of the above - zanhar1 (because I need dis to defeat Bloom)" As you wish my master.With all the powers I will give to you,you will be able to defeat Bloom and bring her head back home as a trophy.This glorious day will be forever celebrated as the day on which the Mary Sue finally got what she deserved. But before that will happen,there's still one thing that you need to do.YOU NEED TO PAY ME.In exchange for my services I request 1 billion dollars and a villa.Do we have a deal?

zanhar1 :D Oh boy the one true evil will soon go down! A trophy she will be indeed. I don't even need the praise I just need the satisfaction of knowing that she won't outshine any characters anymore! Brb, I gotta go ask Kuro for another small loan of a billion dollars.

SilentForce Too bad that there are a lot of other characters like Bloom which means that you need to became the"The Mary Sue"serial killer in order to kill them all but don't worry you will be able to do that as well. "Brb, I gotta go ask Kuro for another small loan of a billion dollars." Okay I will be waiting in the shadows*fades away with an evil grin*.

zanhar1 Hey! Gosh dammit we're back to having only one page >:c The Sue Killer...hmm that has a nice ring. But it'll be a hard task with the author bias. *Now I wait for an answer.*

SilentForce "Hey! Gosh dammit we're back to having only one page >:c " Ikr?We were so close on reaching 3 pages and than fanpop decides to do this to us.As a villain you know what should be done.Go and kill their pathetic asses for daring to do this to us. "The Sue Killer...hmm that has a nice ring. But it'll be a hard task with the author bias." You could always threaten the authors to stop writing Mary Sue and Gary Stu or else you will make turn their worthless lives into a living hell MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

zanhar1 We probably would have been on page three by now lol. Or I could just steal their jobs and write up worlds where only the villains win. It'll look like they're gonna lose but then some last minute miracle happens as they win. Just like what the good guys do to them.

SilentForce "Or I could just steal their jobs and write up worlds where only the villains win. It'll look like they're gonna lose but then some last minute miracle happens as they win. Just like what the good guys do to them" This is also a good idea.Please start first with rewriting the ending of Death Note so that Light wins in the end.

zanhar1 *Re-writes the thing* I've only seen a few episodes of Death Note though lol. "I'll take a potato chip...and eat it."

SilentForce The first season of Death Note was awesome but the second season was pretty bad and don't get me started at how stupid the ending was. "I'll take a potato chip...and eat it." One of the best quotes ever :P.I just love that scene.

zanhar1 Yeah I didn't make it through the first season; mostly because I heard that the second season sucked.

Kuro_Hyou666 Here's that small loan of a billion dollars. XDD *Loans the Zanarchy Project a billion dollars*

zanhar1 Oh joy! :'D Silent we can go ahead with the super-powered clones!!!

SilentForce Great.Now I can start with creating the superior zanhar clones.

GDragon612 damn i love this s*** xD

zanhar1 xP Thanks.

Kuro_Hyou666 I like the idea of super-powered clones. By the way, since I loaned you a billion dollars, I may need to borrow a couple of clones to take care of something for me. There's a few people I'd like to see become corpses xP

zanhar1 Alright, just let me know which zanhars you need and the zanarchy will ship them over to you free of charge. xP

Funfums lmao

simpleplan This is so true XD

zanhar1 xP

Kuro_Hyou666 Lol, I forgot to tell you which Zanhars I needed. Dang. Oh well, I guess some people lived to see another day, then xD

zanhar1 Well shucks, there are still a few available for rent. Those that survived the battle against noboobs lmao.

Kuro_Hyou666 Hahaha, in which case, I would like Zanhar 66 and, wait, do you have enough for there to be a Zanhar 666? I may as well stay true to my Fanpop usernames and get those two. Two will be fine. XD