Here are my 列表 of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let 你 know now i got alot of these from the youtobe channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything 或者 eating anything 你 might spit it 或者 something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the 扫帚 late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the 湾 they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's 最喜爱的 vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the 蘑菇 have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do 你 call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do 你 call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do 你 make an octopus giggle ten times?
你 give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do 你 make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's 最喜爱的 composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between 你 and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't 你 hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher 说 it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the 番茄 blush?
It saw the 沙拉 dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do 你 know if it's raining 猫 and dogs?
你 step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do 你 know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do 你 get 皮卡丘 on a bus?
你 神奇宝贝 (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't 你 dress with 皮卡丘 in the room?
He'll 皮卡丘 (peek at you)
#27 What do 你 call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
你 boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton 交叉, 十字架 the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do 你 call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's 粉, 粉色 and fluffy?
粉, 粉色 fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
粉, 粉色 fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when 你 drink 7 coca colas?
你 burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the 鱼 say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't 你 trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope 你 liked them. Make sure 你 check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
(Make sure your not drinking anything 或者 eating anything 你 might spit it 或者 something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the 扫帚 late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the 湾 they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's 最喜爱的 vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the 蘑菇 have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do 你 call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do 你 call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do 你 make an octopus giggle ten times?
你 give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do 你 make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's 最喜爱的 composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between 你 and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't 你 hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher 说 it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the 番茄 blush?
It saw the 沙拉 dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do 你 know if it's raining 猫 and dogs?
你 step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do 你 know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do 你 get 皮卡丘 on a bus?
你 神奇宝贝 (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't 你 dress with 皮卡丘 in the room?
He'll 皮卡丘 (peek at you)
#27 What do 你 call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
你 boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton 交叉, 十字架 the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do 你 call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's 粉, 粉色 and fluffy?
粉, 粉色 fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
粉, 粉色 fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when 你 drink 7 coca colas?
你 burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the 鱼 say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't 你 trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope 你 liked them. Make sure 你 check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
Death came to a guy and said: "My friend today is your day."
Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the 下一个 on my list".
Guy:"Okay why don't 你 take a 座位 and I will get 你 something to eat before we go?".
Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some 食物 with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.
The guy took the 列表 and removed his name from the 最佳, 返回页首 of the 列表 and put it at the bottom of the list.
When death woke up he 说 to the guy, "Because 你 have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the 列表 ..."
Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much 你 try!!
Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the 下一个 on my list".
Guy:"Okay why don't 你 take a 座位 and I will get 你 something to eat before we go?".
Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some 食物 with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.
The guy took the 列表 and removed his name from the 最佳, 返回页首 of the 列表 and put it at the bottom of the list.
When death woke up he 说 to the guy, "Because 你 have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the 列表 ..."
Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much 你 try!!
A stoner called the 火, 消防 department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"
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