1. ”When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep.
Not screaming and yelling like the
passengers in his car.” Author: Anonymous Interpretation: This joke is a play on the cliche of wanting to die peacefully in
your sleep. This familiar statement
takes an unexpected twist when we
learn that grandpa was, in fact, driving
a car full of passengers when he died
“peacefully in his sleep.” As a result, those passengers did not die so
peacefully! This type of joke, in which
the 秒 half of the statement is
shocking 或者 unexpected (usually making
你 see the first part of the statement
in a different light), is also called a “paraprosdokian.” 2. “I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other
one. I figure no matter how long
somebody stands there picking the
locks, they are always locking three.” Author: Elayne Boosler Interpretation: This funny quote presents a clever idea that might
possibly work: if 你 have multiple locks
on your door and only lock some of
them, someone who tries to pick the
lock and assumes that all the locks are
engaged will not be able to unpick them all (until, that is, they figure out
that not all of the locks were initially
locked). 3. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” Author: Oscar Wilde Interpretation: Someone who expects bad things to happen (a pessimist) will
expect a negative outcome when they
lend 你 money, which is that you
won’t return the money. Wilde is saying
that this make pessimists good people
to borrow money from — because 你 would never be expected to pay back
the money 你 owe them! The quote is
funny because it pokes fun at pessimists
(in reality, most people expect 你 to
return money they lend you, pessimist
或者 not) and assumes the reader is a dishonest person who does not want to
pay their debts. 4. “The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed
entirely of 迷失 airline luggage.” Author: Mark Russell Interpretation: Most people are aware that the planet Saturn is surrounded by
rings (you may 或者 may not know that
these rings are composed of ice and
rocky material). Most people also know
that airline luggage often gets lost.
While the rings of Saturn are of course not literally composed of 迷失 luggage,
this quote is humorous because it
makes fun of a frustrating experience
many people can relate to — the airline
losing your luggage. 5. ”Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only
你 get the warm feeling that it
brings.” Author: Robert Bloch Interpretation: This joke is of the bathroom humor variety. While many
语录 about friendship are meant to
be taken very seriously, this funny
analogy takes a lighthearted (yet not
inaccurate!) twist when it compares
friendship to peeing your pants. 6. ”First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease
named after me.” Author: Steve Martin Interpretation: Here’s a classic “good news, bad news” joke quote from a
master comic. It’s darkly funny because
the “good” news is really pretty terrible,
and the bad news is implied: once we
hear the good news (that the patient is
going to have a disease named after him), we already know the bad news
(that the patient has a never-bef0re-
seen disease). Disease is usually a
serious topic, but tasteful jokes on this
subject can be especially funny because
they make us laugh at our fear of death, rendering it less terrifying. 7. ”A successful man is one who makes 更多 money than his wife can
spend. A successful woman is one who
can find such a man.” Author: Lana Turner Interpretation: 语录 that laugh at the perceived differences between the
genders (or gender stereotypes) are
funny to those who enjoy this kind of
humor. The joke here is that men are
considered successful if they make a lot
of money, but women don’t need to make money to be considered
successful; they just need to marry a
man who makes a lot of money.