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posted by Bluekait
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program. The 下一个 day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 年 old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If 你 can catch me, 你 can have me."

Without a 秒 thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the 下一个 four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has 迷失 5kg as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10kg program. The 下一个 日 there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If 你 catch me 你 can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the 下一个 four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth 日 when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has 迷失 another 10kg as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25kg program.

"Are 你 sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The 下一个 日 there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but 粉, 粉色 running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, 你 are mine."

He 迷失 33 kilos that week.
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posted by thatguywashot
1.Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."

2.A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish Homosexuals".

3.Put stray 狗 in 涂层, 外套 closets.

4.Un-tune the piano.

5.Replace the pianist's sheet 音乐 with "Stairway to Heaven".

6.Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.

7.Find an empty seat, and ask the person 下一个 to it: "Is this 座位 SAVED?"

8.Toss around a giant 海滩 ball before service, like at Grateful Dead concerts.

9.Ten 分钟 before it starts, find...
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