0 = Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as any bayonet.
1 = Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.
2 = Lager warming up head. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.
3 = Crossword in newspaper filled in. After a while blanks are filled in with 随意 letters and numbers.
4 = Barmaid complimented on choice of bra, partially visible when bending to get packet of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of crisps one 由 one.
5 = Have brilliant discussion with guy on the 下一个 bar stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for winning lottery, sort out Manchester United's problems.
6 = Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cigarette packet. Realize that everybody loves you. Call parents and tell them 你 爱情 them. Call girlfriend to tell her 你 爱情 her and she still has an amazing figure.
7 = Send drinks over to woman sitting at 表 with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of 爱情 on five 鸡尾酒 napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks 你 outside. 你 buy him a Slim Panatela.
8 = Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one 由 one. Fall over. Get up.
9 = Head-ache kicks in. 啤酒 tastes off. Send it back. 下一个 bottle comes back tasting the same. Say, "That's much better." Fight nausea 由 trying to play old 太空 Invaders game for ten 分钟 before seeing out of order sign.
10 = Some doubling of vision. Stand on 表 shouting abuse at all four barmen. Talked down 由 barmaid, who 你 offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.
11 = Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize 你 are sitting in pub cellar, having taken wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.
12 = Put in cab 由 somebody. Give 首页 address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realize you've 给 address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.
1 = Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.
2 = Lager warming up head. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.
3 = Crossword in newspaper filled in. After a while blanks are filled in with 随意 letters and numbers.
4 = Barmaid complimented on choice of bra, partially visible when bending to get packet of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of crisps one 由 one.
5 = Have brilliant discussion with guy on the 下一个 bar stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for winning lottery, sort out Manchester United's problems.
6 = Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cigarette packet. Realize that everybody loves you. Call parents and tell them 你 爱情 them. Call girlfriend to tell her 你 爱情 her and she still has an amazing figure.
7 = Send drinks over to woman sitting at 表 with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of 爱情 on five 鸡尾酒 napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks 你 outside. 你 buy him a Slim Panatela.
8 = Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one 由 one. Fall over. Get up.
9 = Head-ache kicks in. 啤酒 tastes off. Send it back. 下一个 bottle comes back tasting the same. Say, "That's much better." Fight nausea 由 trying to play old 太空 Invaders game for ten 分钟 before seeing out of order sign.
10 = Some doubling of vision. Stand on 表 shouting abuse at all four barmen. Talked down 由 barmaid, who 你 offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.
11 = Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize 你 are sitting in pub cellar, having taken wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.
12 = Put in cab 由 somebody. Give 首页 address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realize you've 给 address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.
Ahhhhhh
