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posted by randomgirl3000
• Accidentally close a tab? Ctrl+Shift+T reopens it.

• Bananas release dopamine, eat them when you’re sad.

• CTRL+SHIFT+ESC is the one handed version of CTRL+ALT+DEL

• Don’t brush your teeth hard, it makes them sensitive and removes enamel.

• Don’t like spiders? Put citronella oil on your walls and they will not go there.

• Drink one glass of water for every alcoholic drink 你 have, you’ll get drunk without getting a hangover.

• Get clear ice cubes 由 boiling water before freezing it

• Heal paper cuts and immediately stop the pain with chapstick.

• If 你 accidentally write on your dry erase board with a permanent marker, scribble over it with a dry eraser marker to remove it.

• If your shoes smell, put them in the freezer overnight, it will kill the bacteria.

• Make bug bites stop itching with a 香蕉 peel.

• Make a paper longer with 12-point text, but 14-point periods and commas.

• Need to get around a blocked website at work? Try replacing the link with link

• Never send your resume as a word file (unless asked) Instead, print it to a pdf file, it’s much cleaner and professional looking.

• Pick a flavor of gum 你 don’t normally chew, and chew it while studying during a test.

• Place a piece of 面包 in a container with your homemade 饼干 and they will stay soft.

• Put a dry towel into a dryer with wet clothes, they will dry faster.

• Put toothpaste on a pimple and it will dry out.

• Practise fake smiling in the mirror every 日 before going to work/school, you’ll genuinely start to feel happier.

• Rub canola/olive oil on knives before cutting onions, 你 won’t cry, alternatively chew gum and 你 won’t either.

• Short on time with a wrinkled dress shirt? Hang it up in the bathroom to steam it flat.

• The night before, place things 你 don’t want to forget the 下一个 morning on 最佳, 返回页首 of your shoes.

• Use hydrogen peroxide to remove blood stains from clothing.

• When cleaning windows use newspapers 或者 coffee filters instead of paper towels, they will not leave streaks.

• When microwaving 面包 products/pizza put a glass of water in with it, it will keep your 面包 from going spongy.

• When 你 移动 into a new place you’re renting, take pictures of any and all damage, then post them on 脸谱 (privately if preferred) so 你 can use the reference 日期 as proof 你 didn’t do it.

• When searching plane tickets online 删除 your 饼干 prior, prices go up when 你 visit a site multiple times.
added by r-pattz
Source: oddee.com
added by fatoshleo
added by aitypw
added by zanhar1
added by dxarmy423
added by r-pattz
Source: snorgtees
added by 7things
posted by nmdis
"Naturally"


Did it seem
To disappoint you
Living alone?
由 the banks
Of your dilemma
Out of control
No one seems
To give the answers
That 你 wanna hear
What you'd give
To find a welcome here

Miles and miles of lies
Behind you
Those were the days
So many lives
You'd hope would guide you
Help 你 find a way
Now it seems to your surprise
That they left 你 lying here
What you'd give to dry
These 苦 tears

Did it come naturally?
你 a million miles from home
When 你 tried so carefully
To live a life
That's not your own
Always remember
That it wasn't that long ago
I stilled the oceans
I moved...
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1. Dick Trickle

A NASCAR driver that sounds like he has symptoms of prostate problems. Yeah, this one definitely deserves the 最佳, 返回页首 spot on the list.

2. Rusty Kuntz
If he were a girl, it would possibly be number one on the list; nobody would want to mess with her.

3. Grant Balfour
Grant means “to give” and ball four represents a walk in baseball. Not exactly the best name for this Oakland A’s pitcher.

4. Pete LaCock
The capitalization of this name just makes it even worse. He gets the double whammy on the first and last name

5. Guy Whimper
He is a 6’5’’, 300lbs. offensive tackle for the Jacksonville...
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Most of these phrases were once funny and not at all annoying. Then newfags just have to come along and start using and abusing them.

And some were already shitty and annoying to begin with.

Once great phrases turned annoying

Cool story bro

婊子, 子 please

Y U NO

U mad?

Trolololololo

True story

20% Cooler

Phrases that were already annoying to begin with

YOLO

Pie

X people are Y (youtube)

First

X people missed the like button(youtube again)

le
1.Stand 下一个 to a bathroom, stroking a soap bottle while saying: "It's okay my darling, we will get out soon".

2.Sniff every type of cheese in the aisle.

3.When somebody walks 由 you, stare at them with
BIG eyes.

4.Squirt every type of perfume 你 can find.

5.When in the bathroom,scream as loud as 你 can.

6.Tickle yourself in front of the toilet scrubbers.

7.Hop like a frog around the store.

8.Get a glowing pen and act like 你 are scanning the 牛奶 and say:"We shall see".

9.Act like a detective, trying to find the missing Whipped Cream Monster.

10.Put on a 短裙, 裙子 and do yoga in the middle of the store....
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posted by lanydoodle
1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as 你 walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at 你 for saying that simply reply “Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Dress up like l (Death Note) and walk in with no shoes.

6. If your teacher asks “why aren’t...
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posted by Juilet1234
Mittens.
They warm your hands, protect 你 from the cold. They're not a bad thing.
But imagine if for your whole life 你 wore heavy mittens. If 你 dial a phone, try to use a remote control, 或者 try to play a board game, you're still wearing mittens. Practically everything is much 更多 difficult.
Right there.
Practically everything is much 更多 difficult.
Remember that.
Now imagine this.
You're in a room with the TV on full volume. The radio is blaring loud, screeching music. The lights are flickering on and off. Everything 你 see is magnified, is a much bigger deal than it normally would...
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posted by xxXsk8trXxx
1. Don't care about her feelings.
2. Don't allow her to go out without your permission.
3. Your friends, the game, and your video games are 更多 important than her.
4. She needs to get 你 食物 while 你 sit and do whatever 你 want.
5. Call her a "whore" and a "bitch".
6. Beat her when she's not obeying you.
7. Never reply to her texts. Remember, you're "busy".
8. 拍击, smack, 味道 her 屁股 and grab her boobs.
9. Never tell her that 你 爱情 her.
10. She pays for dinner, not you.
11. Force her to have sex with you.
12. She's pregnant? Break up with her. 移动 somewhere far, far away.
13. Never use a condom, even if...
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posted by Caligirl2011
So open up your iTunes 或者 音乐 player and put it on shuffle! Let it play and for everysong.. It makes a life story!!

1. Waking up song..........
2. Going to school song.......
3. Seeing a boy/girl 你 like song......
4. Enemy song.......
5. 日 song.........
6. Going to sleep song...
7. Friend song.......
8. Fight song.....
9. Hook up song.......
10. 爱情 song.....
11. Break up song.......
12. Make up song......
13. Wedding song...
14. Honeymoonsong.....
15. Baby song......
16. Family song.....
17. Death song.......
18. Funeral dong
Ashimoto ni kaze hikari ga matta nichijou ni dake tsumotta bun no kiseki ga
Miagereba kumo tooku e no kiro osanai hi no jibun yori mo hayaku
Yukidoke o matte ita kodomo no 你 ni hashiru
Hikaru shizuku tobihaneteru
Asu no deai sae kizukazu ni iru kisetsu-tachi no naka de kagayaite iru yo

Sekaijuu ni wa donna omoi mo kanau hi ga kuru
Zutto tabi o shite yuku bokura ni chiisana sei-tachi maioriru

Deatta basho mo midori o nashite yuruyaka ni mo nagareru toki ni yudanete
Haruka ni aogu machinami no roji osanai hi no jibun ga mada kakeru
Ano yuuhodou kara kikoete kuru kigi no koe ya hibi no zawameki...
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Here with me, I’ve got 99 facts!

Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
Guys hate other flirts.
A guy can like 你 for a minute, and then forget 你 afterwards.
When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
Are 你 doing something?” 或者 “Have 你 eaten already?” are the first usual 问题 a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
Guys may be flirting around all 日 but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
When a guy really likes...
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Some dreams stay with 你 long after you've woken up.
...
Life may be just a dream, but how do we interpret it? What we dream at night can give us clues about what is important to us in waking life. Dreams help us to process our conscious thoughts and can give us new and important insights into the problems and challenges we face in the world. Although we may have strange and unusual dreams, there are a number of common dreams that many of us experience over and over again. Read the interpretations below for an explanation of symbols that seem to appear frequently in dreams.
...
1. Faulty 或者 lost...
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Christian quotes...

"No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God."
- George H.W. 衬套, 布什

"ATHEISTS, AGNOSTICS AND NON BELIEVERS ARE THE TRUE CRIMINALS OF THE WORLD COMMUNITY" - tencommandments.org

"How can there be peace when drunkards, drug dealers, communists, atheists, New Age worshipers of Satan, secular humanists ... and homosexuals are on top?"
- Pat Robertson

"... atheism is none other than raw depravity - the diabolical principle at work in people who dishonor their parents, murder, lie and commit...
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