Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to 移动 on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When 你 leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe 你 embarrassed me AGAIN...."
Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using it. If your professor objects, explain that 你 "can't stand sitting in this pigsty any longer." Keep vacuuming, grumbling angrily.
Brush your teeth during class. While doing so, raise your hand as if 你 have a question, and mumble your 问题 incoherently while brushing, spewing toothpaste all over the place. If your professor objects to your actions, go on a tirade about proper oral hygiene.
Carve a bust of your professor out of cheese. Tie a ribbon around it, and present it to him/her at the beginning of class. Demand extra credit.
Come to class every 日 wearing scary 万圣节前夕 masks. Try to get your professor to guess who 你 are. Shoot him/her with a water pistol, scream, and run around the room knocking things over. Say, "Pretty scary, huh?"
Come to class with a jar full of angry hornets. Five 分钟 into class, release the hornets, scream, and run away.
Dispute everything your professor says, no matter how simple. Try to get him/her to "prove" everything to you. Rant and rave about what a big liar your professor is. Yell at students who are taking notes, saying, "Stop 写作 down all these lies!"
Draw hearts and 花 on the backs of your papers and tests. 下一个 to them, write things like, "You're the best, even though 你 suck" and "You're the worst professor in the world, but I still 爱情 you."
Every time your professor stutters, do a shot. If he/she objects, explain that drinking games make the class 更多 interesting.
Get a monkey, and bring it to class with you. Tell your professor that you've hired the monkey to take notes for you. Sit back and relax during class, letting the monkey scribble on a piece of paper. When it comes time to write a paper 或者 take a test, write down things like, "I wish I had a banana" and "I miss my tire swing." Assuming 你 get a bad grade, angrily 火, 消防 the monkey in front of your professor.
Get the whole class to 显示 up a few 分钟 early, and throw a surprise party for your professor. Insist that 你 can't start class until he/she has a piece of cake. Keep asking people when the strippers are going to arrive.
Hide somewhere inside the classroom. Wait for your professor to take attendance. Don't come out when he/she calls your name. Halfway through class, jump out and yell, "Just kidding! I'm here! Fooled 你 again!" Sit down and be quiet for the rest of class.
If 你 have an early morning class, get there before anyone else, and bring a pillow, some blankets, an air mattress, and an alarm clock. Wear your pajamas. Lie down on the air mattress with the 枕头 and the blankets and act like you're asleep. Have the alarm set for about two 分钟 into class. When it goes off, preferably very loudly, hit the "snooze" button and go back to sleep. Keep doing so for the duration of the class.
Instead of taking notes, do an abstract painting during every class. Call the paintings things like, "Professor 表演 Like Mr. Know-It-All" 或者 "Idiot Who Doesn't Know What The Hell He's Talking About." Give the paintings to your professor as gifts.
Keep "accidentally" setting fires at your desk. Burn notebooks, papers, 或者 whatever 你 have handy. Whenever 你 start a fire, no matter how small it is, start yelling, "Fire! Fire!" and run out of the room in a panic. Don't return for the rest of class.
显示 up to class about ten 分钟 late. Ride into the room on a bicycle, yell, "Look out!" and crash into the blackboard. Get up, take a seat, and act like nothing happened. Do this every day.
Sit way at the back of the room, up against the wall, to get as far away from your professor as possible. While he/she is lecturing, shout out things like, "What!?" and "Speak up! You're mumbling!" If your professor advises 你 to sit closer to the front, tell him/her 你 can't because you're scouting the room for "assassins."
Start asking 问题 in a fake foreign language. Act like your professor is stupid for not being able to understand you. Get other people in the class to start speaking the fake language too, and have frequent discussions during class. Act like you're really interested in what you're discussing. If your professor tries to interrupt 或者 stop you, act annoyed and motion for him/her to quiet down.
Tell your professor that you'd like to interview him/her for a 写作 class. Get him/her to tell 你 his/her life story. Act interested, and write down everything he/she says. Fabricate a few romantic interludes and turn your efforts into a trashy romance novel. Make copies for the entire class, and your professor. Demand extra credit.
Wait for your professor to mention a date, and then yell out, "Bingo!" Apologize, and explain that 你 got confused.
When 你 have to write a paper, get it done early and mail it to your professor's house. From then on, don't hand anything in, and blame it on the sluggishness of the U.S. Postal Service.
When your professor gives 你 a syllabus, take it home, correct it, give it a grade, and return it to the professor. Demand extra credit.
包, 换行 yourself in bandages and come to class in a wheelchair. Throughout class, cry a lot and moan things like, "Why me?" and "Please kill me!" Get up during class, like your going to miraculously start walking. Instead, fall down, cry out in pain, and wait for someone to help 你 back up. When class is over say, "I feel better now," leap up, and run home.
Write down everything that your professor says, word for word. Think up a melody, and turn the words into a song. Bring a 吉他 to class and perform the song for the class. Explain to your professor that he/she is "very inspiring."
Write your professor a note that says, "I'm going to be about 15 分钟 late. Go ahead and start without me." Wait outside the building until the time when class is supposed to begin. Tie the note to a rock, and throw it through the window.