My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome 老友记 and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

由 the time 你 read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though 你 may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't 爱情 you, my love.

I loved 你 with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy.

I went numb, and ceased to feel.

Ceased to be.

That was when I first cut.

I just needed to feel something.

After a while it wasn't enough.

I thought if I cut deeper and spilled 更多 of my blood I would at least make me feel alive.

It worked for a while, but in the end it just left me hollower than before.

I tried to keep it together, for my family, but 你 know something?

你 don't need me any more.

None of 你 do.

I just cause 你 更多 pain and suffering than I'm worth.

Because I lied.

I am not Raven.

Not anymore.

I am nothing without you.

你 don't need me.

None of 你 do.

How can I take care of a family when I can't take care of myself?

I can't.

Not anymore.

I used to be able to, before this all started.

I just can't remember how anymore.

I sit here and remember the fight we had.

你 told me to leave and the words 你 used cut me 更多 than any blade ever did.

Don't worry.

I am going now.

I feel so tired, my vision is becoming blurred, and I know I must go soon, but wait.

There is some wisdom I still need to depart on you.

The last order I shall give 你 is the one to do what 你 want.

I was only trying to protect 你 all.

I am sorry.

I won't do it again.

Promise.

I was a bad leader.

I know it.

So, do what 你 want, and maybe you'll see why I was the way I was.

Whitney, my baby.

Go off make the world better...

Go be yourself, and be happy.

Go make me proud.

Twan, my brother.

Go be the person 你 want to be.

Go blow up things.

Go give away your life.

Go and accidentally kill yourself 或者 someone 你 爱情 and see how it feels to be a murder.

Like I am.

Ducky, my little sister.

Go draw attention to yourself.

Go tell every stranger 你 meet that 你 are happy, and heck, hug them.

Go get laughed at, screamed at, go get called a freak.

Go be happy about being a freak, my freak.

People don't like things that are different.

I learned that the hard way, and tried to shield 你 from it, but maybe I was wrong to do so.

Fang, damn it I 爱情 you.

Go be the person who other people depend on for every little thing.

Mel, my freaking OC, and mother figure.

I want someone to hold me.

I want my sissy to hold me.

I want Fang to hold me.

I want my brother to hold me

I want my Mom to hold me.

Then you'll really be alone like 你 always wanted to be, and whose fault will it be? Not mine, that's for sure.

That's why I'm leaving.

I want out.

I can't take it anymore.

I need a break.

I need to be free.

I loved 你 guys all with all my heart.

I hope you're happy together.

All I can say is that I tried.

It was too hard.

Goodbye,

My baby,

My brother,

My little sister,

My crazy mother figure,

And my best friend, my imaginary right-hand-man, the only person I ever truly loved, Fang.

I wish I could see your faces one 更多 time, but it's too late for me.

The darkness is creeping in around me.

Don't cry for me, I was already dead.

I just need 你 to know that everything I did, I did for you.

All of you.

你 can't catch me this time...

You can't save me...

But 你 can let me go....