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posted by kitty190123
1. Sing the 蝙蝠侠 theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with 老友记 in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If 你 have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours 由 hooking a 摄录一体机, 摄像机 to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal 由 conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what 你 think."

17. Claim that 你 must always wear a bicycle 头盔 as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors 你 are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip 皮套 for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying 更多 any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over 由 clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink 盒式磁带, 墨盒 across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler 随意 numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that 你 "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for 随意 times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train 下一个 Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly 你 can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five 分钟 before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints 由 the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of 橙子, 橙色 traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your 晚餐 with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in 随意 spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone 你 meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do 你 hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address 你 as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When 圣诞节 caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, 蝙蝠侠 smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's 老鼠, 鼠标 is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture 由 tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that 你 don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" 或者 the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your 圣诞节 lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra 座位 for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a 诗歌 recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their 答案 in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim 你 can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Mysterious love
-chapter three-


Went he sat down I got a little scared.My stomach felt weried like it was trying too jump out.He was there I wanted too say hi but I just could'nt get it out.so I was just sitting there a nervous wreck chewing on the 最佳, 返回页首 of my eraser I kept wanting too look at him becuse I could feel him looking at me.finaly I snuke a peek he was staring at me but when he seen me looking he quickly looked down at his notebook.Then I looked down at my blank paper when the teacher 说 "Ok class dont forget too read chapter 8 in your book" I took my text book out of my new desk...
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posted by patrisha727
芹菜 has negative calories. It takes 更多 calories to eat a piece of 芹菜 than the 芹菜 has in it to begin with.

In eighteenth-century English gambling dens, there was an employee whose only job was to 吞, 燕子 the dice if there was a police raid.

The human tongue tastes 苦 things with the taste buds toward the back. Salty and pungent flavors are tasted in the middle of the tongue, sweet flavors at the tip.

A sneeze can travel as fast as 100 miles per hour.

It is impossible to sneeze and keep one's eyes open at the same time.

In 1778, fashionable women of Paris never went out in blustery...
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posted by Dan_07
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I don't know what anything means...
Throw 爆米花 in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can 你 fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling 爆米花 that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when its your turn to get 爆米花 yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit 下一个 to 你 because 你 invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror...
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posted by Yama
Emily had the 兜帽, 罩, 发动机罩 down today and it was quite warm. The car rushed as if it was too eager to get to the harbour. 或者 maybe it was just me not wanting to leave home, whichever it was I didn't like it. Emily was blabbering on about what her fiance had got her for going away, she was so excited. As far as I could make out through my thoughts is that it was a big broach with a extremly rare stone in it.
I just smiled occasionly at her and tried (failing miserably) to look excited. Emily turned around after five 分钟 of silence,"Hon whats wrong I noticed this as soon as 你 got into the car but...
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posted by vamp_grl_123
Ok so here is a bunch of 随意 Moments i will be writting. All are true.

I was at my locker getting ready for after lunch and my firends stopped to talk. It was Joe, Ben, Jack, Lilly, and Shelly.

Joe: Sukki, we're Lilly's man firends (not all were guys but Lily, Shelly, and me.)

Me: 哈哈 ... *thinks* HEY!

Lilly: *laughing* OMG 你 needed to think?

Jack: Wow Sukki. we didn't mean you. but that was funny.

Shelly: *laughing*

Hope 你 liked this ramdom moment!!!

p.s. real names not used!!!!
1 = 90% of girls dont watch family guy, robot chicken etc so don't talk about it much.

2 = tomboys will 显示 更多 affection than girlie girls.

3. Some girls get frustrated when 你 interrupt their video game. This rarely happens to a gu texting a girl

4. Girls don't like it when 你 interrupt their convo with their friends. To them it's R.U.D.E

5. Don't tease a girl if she likes Twilight Harry Potter etc........it hurts their feelings.

6. Please, don't hit on every girl in the school if 你 still have a girlfriend do 你 know how much that annoys us???

7. Don't text a girl in the middle of the night. We like to get our sleep. Otherwise, she'll just keep 你 up for a hour.

8. Girls like the guy that likes her to be jealous. Shell usually plan it out overnight.

9. Girls just adore attention like fat kids adore 浓情巧克力 cake.

10. A girl I'll call a guy cute not hot. Shell only call him ht around her girlfriends.
added by australia-101
there's a girl. about 15. she hides her scars, with her mother's makeup. She wakes up. and she realizes, that today will never get better.

You are 更多 than this. 你 are bliss. 你 are 更多 than this. there's happiness at the end of a rainbow.
open your eyes. keep holding on. don't give up, beautiful girl. your still needed on this world.

there's this girl. she hides her food. behind her bed.
when she looks, in the mirror, she sees nothing but ugliness. her mom asks her, if she's okay. she puts on a fake smile and tries to hide the pain.


You are 更多 than this. 你 are bliss. 你 are 更多 than...
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posted by Hellowittykitty
Completely 随意 poetry! But that's what this site is for, right

Bold like new
Bold like old
Bold like me and my bro
Bold like the Sun
Way faster when I run

Bolder than her
Don't know who she is
She has little tiny eyes
That decorate her sin

Bolder than my mother will ever be
Bolder than my future son, who will never see me
Bolder and stronger, than Katy Perry
Bolder than that little doggy
Who has mad it through pet-adoptery

Bolder than that 《勇敢传说》 hero
Bolder than that black heart
Boldest of all
Even though I've never thrown a dart

Bolder than thus
Bolder than this
Bolder than what I'm 写作 now
Dis, dat, and...
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1.always let him talk to 你 about stuff he likes
2.always see what 你 have in common (if 你 do)
3.never wear make up around him let him see your true beauty
4.DON'T TELL HIM HOW 你 FEEL AROUND HIM UNTILL HE ASKS 你 OUT THIS IS A RULE!
5.ALWAYS ask 问题 about him like his 最喜爱的 color, his 最喜爱的 movie 或者 his 最喜爱的 t.v show
6.never ever talk about your ex boyfriend they hate it (i've had experience) trust me it isn't cool
7.Always wear your 最喜爱的 clothes and some cute clothes
8.let him do all the hand holding and arm gestures don't do a thing( if u don't then that will make him think your interested)
9.talk about your 最喜爱的 电影院 and songs
10.always make him happy no matter what mood he's in
thank 你 for 阅读 i hope this helps :)
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello everypony, and welcome to another episode of On The Block.
Master Sword: Tom, 你 already 说 that in the start of the last episode. Come up with something new for once.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Like what?
Master Sword: I don't know. Anything!
Tom: Hmmm...

Three 分钟 later, this song was playing: link

Master Sword: *Hanging off the edge of a cliff above four sharks that want to eat him* THIS...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello everypony, and welcome to another episode of On The Block.
Master Sword: I think they know it's On The Block.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: How?
Master Sword: The 标题 of this 文章 clearly says On The Block!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Oh yes, it does. Today's crossover parody, Unfrozen.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: We're combining two bad 电影院 for this. Frozen, and Unfriended.
Tom:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello, and welcome.
Master Sword: We begin with Brony Of The Month.
Tom: And no, we didn't forget to do this, like we did in the last episode.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: For May 2015, the Brony Of The 月 award goes to NocturnalMirage.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: If 你 were to compare this guy to a car company, he would be Ford.
Master Sword: Both are very popular.
Tom: And now, for...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house dressed as Santa Claus*
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Hey, 你 finally laughed in the beginning for once. Thanks for taking my advice.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Please explain to us why we're dressed as Santa Claus.
Tom: We are dressed like him, because it was on Aina's 圣诞节 List. We can't dissapoint her.
Master Sword: Oh, I forgot. However, we got 更多 important news.
Tom: Yes. In the 前一个 episode, we...
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added by VanillaSonata
Source: edited 由 me
added by Canada24
video
你 are sitting on the 长椅, 沙发 waiting for your best friend to come and watch the outsiders with 你 for a college project. "Hey" (Y/N) Johnny says closing the door behind him. "Hey" Johnny 你 say back. Are 你 ready to watch the movie 你 ask? He is silent and he just stares at you. "Are 你 ok?" 你 ask Johnny
He takes the remote out of your hands and says (Y/N) 你 are funny, Caring, smart, Amazing, Loving, and most importantly 你 are Gold. 你 hold his chest as 你 are pushing him was y and say " 你 watched the outsiders without me"? "Look (Y/N) "what I am trying to say is I 爱情 you."...
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posted by Canada24
#1:
Chris/Ghostface: So anyways, I was saying, what's your favorito! scary movie?
Sam (Chris' fiancée): Well, the scariest is certainly Dragonball Evolution.
Chris/Ghostface: 你 EVER MENTION THAT FILM AGAIN, I'LL CUT YOUR THROAT, 你 LITTLE BITCH!
[...]
(Sam hangs up, believing this all to be a dumb joke)
Chris/Ghostface: That girl made me think of Dragonball Evolution. SHE'S GOING TO DIE!!!


#2:
"So we're watching the movie and things are happening and WHAT THE FUCK IS MICHAEL CAINE DOING IN THIS MOVIE?!"


#3:
"Oh thanks for the stupid ball, Grandpa. Thanks a lot. I appreciate it. Hey, can 你 tell...
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added by TimberHumphrey