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posted by Thecharliejay
Act like a spy / secret agent for the day
Act like 你 just met your friend for the first time
Act profound
Ad lib
Add some strawberries to your ice cream
Adopt strange mannerisms
Alphabetize the 食物 in your fridge
Announce your candidacy for President.
Annoy total strangers
Apply for a unicorn hunting license
Appreciate everything
Archive the Internet to 3.5" floppy disks (low density of course)
Arrest yourself
Ask a 问题 nobody can answer
Ask embarrassing questions
Ask for seconds
Ask people how to pronounce their name
Ask people if they want to see your “belly button treasure”
Ask people if they’ve seen your head
Ask stupid questions.
Ask the person in front of 你 to marry you.
Ask why
At the bottom of escalators yell “MY SHOELACE!”
Attract lightning
Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize
Baby oil the floor
Backstroke your way to class
Bake the world’s biggest doughnut hole
Balance a pencil on your nose
Balance a 枕头 on your head
Balance your checkbook
Bark at people in the grocery store
Bark at your dog
Bark at your parents
Be a leaf and leave
Be a loan shark
Be a lone shark
Be a monk...for a 日
Be a no-name
Be a non-being
Be a REALLY cautious driver
Be a side affect.
Be a smart blonde
Be a spy
Be a square root.
Be a superstar
Be amazing
Be blue
Be blunt
Be Buddha
Be cherubic.
Be cold
Be cute
Be envious
Be halfway
Be hot
Be immobile
Be in the wrong place at the right time.
Be jealous
Be lazy
Be legendary
Be lord of the flies
Be negative
Be nervous
Be neutral
Be one of those people that yell “SHH!” (Even though they ADD to the noise)
Be positive
Be really annoying to everybody
Be sharp
Be smart
Be somebody else
Be someone special
Be stupid for a day
Be thankful for clocks
Be unique, just like everyone else
Beam yourself up
Become a band nerd
Become a go-to kinda man
Become a hermit on your front lawn (works best if 你 live on a main road!)
Become a paparazzi for your friends, follow them around with a camera
Become a party animal

Become a tic-tac addict
Become an expert on something nobody cares about
Befriend flies
Behold the truth
Bite every other nail
Bite your pinkie
Blast hip-hop 音乐 through town
Blink a lot
Blow bubbles
Blow bubbles with bubble gum
Blow on a 啤酒 bottle
Blow on a blade of 草
Blow spit bubbles
Blow up a balloon until it pops
Boil ice cream
Boldly go where no man has gone before
Bother a sibling, profusely
Bounce a potato
Braid your dog's hair
Break into a friend's house and clean it
Break some rules
Bring a Furby to school
Bring dog treats to the park and meet 25 new 狗
Bronze your sister
Brush your teeth
Buff your cat
Build a house out of toothpicks
Build a house with ice cubes
Build a model of the Eiffel Tower out of Belgian 威化饼, 华夫饼
Build a pyramid
Build a 树 house in the middle of a field

Burp the Happy Birthday song
Bury your father’s car
Buy something from an infomercial
Call a wrong number and talk to whoever answers.
Call an insurance company and try to insure your stuffed animal.
Call toll free numbers and make 老友记 with the operators
Call yourself an Indian giver
Calmly have a nervous breakdown
Can 你 out-shame these people?
Carpet your ceiling
Carry a 公文包 with 你 and offer people phony legal advice
Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks
Carve your boyfriend\girlfriend\crushes’ initials in a marshmallow
Catch a cold
Catch a falling 星, 星级
Challenge the neighbor kid to duel
Change your hand 写作 style
Change your mind
Change your name...daily
Chase your friend 或者 family member around the sofa
Check out the weather forecast for other parts of the world.
Check under chairs for chewing gum
Check your 电子邮箱 from a DOS command prompt
Chew ice
Chew on a lollipop stick
Chew on pen caps
Chew on your arm until someone notices.
Chew your lip
Churn some butter.
Claim 你 are late for a 日期 with the white rabbit
Clean and polish your belly button
Clean your room (*gasp*)

Climb the walls
Clone yourself
Collect hotel keys
Complain about your nose hurting
Conceive a brand new language.
Confess to a crime that 你 didn't commit.
Confess to a crime...that didn't happen
Construct a shrine for the 皇后乐队 of the spud peoples
Construct tiny makeshift parachutes for hamsters
Convert various currencies to other various currencies here
Count all the stars in the sky
Count to a 100,000
Count your teeth with your tongue
Crack your knuckles
Crank up some 音乐
Crawl around the room humming the 音乐 from Mission Impossible.
Create 随意 equations
交叉, 十字架 your toes
Crumble
Crumple
Crush pop cans with 门球, 槌球, 槌球游戏 mallets
Cut out 照片 and paste them on Popsicle sticks and have a puppet 显示
Cut your fingernails/toenails
Dance around your living room naked
Dance 'til 你 drop
Dare to be stupid
日 dream
辩论 politics with a pet
Declare April 6th “slap butt day” at your school and actively celebrate it
Declare war
Defend your neighborhood from flesh eating robots
Defy gravity
Develop a complex
Develop a tick
Dial-a-prayer and argue
Discover some cool uses for crates
Discover the answer to the ultimate question....then the 问题 itself....
Do a cartwheel
Do a good job

Do aerobics...in your head
Do crossword puzzles
Do everything with your other hand today
Do some paperwork
Do the hokey-pokey at 3 am
Do the magician “saw a box trick” with your sister/brother
Donate your brother’s/sister's body to science
Dont ever use punctuation its rather annoying isnt it
Doodle 或者 cartoon
Dot people’s i’s for them
Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up
Dress in something silly and laugh at yourself
Dress like a pirate
Dress like your 最喜爱的 Heavy Metal group...surprise your grandmother.
Dress up in a cow suit… go to the supermarket
Drink as much prune 果汁 as 你 can
Drink soda till 你 get wired
Drink straight shots...of water
Drop pebbles down the chimney
Drop something to see if it breaks.
Duct tape a spoon to the 墙 and wait for it to fall

Eat 西兰花 and pretend to be a dinosaur eating trees
Embarrass yourself
Even the score
Every time 你 say the word definitely, spell it out
Every time 你 write something today, use roman numerals for the numbers.
Exist...existentially of course.
Exorcise a ghost
Experiment with makeup
Eye witness stuff
Factor your social security number
Faint
Fake an accent
Fall asleep
Fidget
Figure out how to get yourself on TV
Find a bug and chase it
Find an address to your 最喜爱的 famous person and write them a letter. See if they write 你 back.
Find other people who have your name
Find out your future with a Ouija board
Find pepper and dust and break the world record of sneezes
Find some crutches and pretend to have a broken leg
Find the heat capacity of your science professor
Find the longest 网址 你 possibly can
Find the meaning of life
Find the nearest nowhere and go there
Find typos on websites and 电子邮箱 the webmasters to let them know.
Find your half-life
Flash your mailman

Flip upside-down and check out the Anti-Gravity Room
Flirt with people
Fluff your pillows
Fold everything 你 can
Follow 随意 people
Forget to groom
Form a political party
Form a union
Format all those AOL disks 你 got in the mail...
Gargle
Gesture
Get a song stuck in your head
Get angry with yourself
Get bubblegum stuck in your hair and try to get it out
Get caught red-handed
Get on the radio
Get run over 由 a train of thought
Get your dog braces
Get yourself as nauseated as possible, like 由 spinning around and looking straight up.
Give names to your body parts
Give your cat a mohawk
Give to charity

Give yourself a new identity
Glue pages of your roommates textbooks together.
Go Amish
Go back to square one
Go 垃圾箱, 垃圾站 diving
Go 垃圾箱, 垃圾站 diving and see what 你 can find
Go for a bike ride
Go for a run
Go for a walk
Go insane
Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail
Go on 随意 driver’s ed trips
Go 商店 for a really good book

Go skinny-dipping
Go 松鼠 watching
Go swimming
Go through the dictionary looking up really long words like discombobulated.
Go to a funeral and tell jokes
Go to a 摇摆, 秋千 dance and do the hokey-pokey
Go to McDonald's and pretend 你 can't speak English
Go to your local museum, and try to get kicked out
鹅 people
Grease every door hinge in the house, then yell at people for slamming doors
Grind your teeth
Groan, act confused when people ask if 你 are ok
Hail a cab and walk
Hang out in the bathroom wearing a suit and sell people things
Have a burping contest
Have a carpet picnic
Have a staring contest with yourself in the mirror.
Have a water drinking contest
Have an egg toss
Have people follow 你 with red carpet everywhere
Help an old lady 交叉, 十字架 the street
Hide
Hire people to wait on you
Hit some hay
Hit the deck
Hold amateur wrestling matches at your local gym
Hold an ice cube as long as possible
Hold your breath
Hold your hand
Hop on one foot all day
Hop up and down
Host your own radio 显示 from your laundry room
Hot wax the bottom of your brothers/sisters dress shoes
Hug a stranger then apologize saying 你 thought they were your grandma.
Hunt and peck when 你 type in public places
Ignore anyone who talks to you
Inflate a beachball and throw it around the room.
Insist everyone calls 你 “Your highness”
Interview a member of the opposite sex
Invent something
加入 a 粉丝 club
加入 the 辩论 team and agree with everyone
Juggle everything 你 can find
Jump up and down
Just hop up
Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids.
吻乐队(Kiss) and make up with yourself
吻乐队(Kiss) your elbow, if 你 can.
Knight yourself and some close friends.
Knit a sweater
Laugh at things that are not funny
Lay a long straight line of masking tape on the floor. Now spin around really fast then try walking on the masking tape.
Learn a new word in the dictionary
Learn insulting words in other languages
Learn 随意 facts and share them with people

Learn to let go
Learn to peel a 香蕉 with your feet
Learn to play the kazoo
Learn to read Sanskrit
Learn to square dance
Learn to surf
Learn to throw your voice
Learn to type...with your toes
Learn to whistle 14.4/28.8 bps modem sounds
Let a helium balloon float up to your ceiling and throw things at it to pop it
Lick your hand and see the spit evaporate.
Lick your lips
Listen to a type of 音乐 that 你 don't normally listen to
Listen to really hard 音乐 and head bang
Load as many programs on your PC as 你 can in an attempt to crash your system
Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, and study the after image.
Look on a soda bottle 或者 cereal box and call the consumer information line and ask them some questions.
Lounge around the house in prom attire
Make a 圣诞节 wish 列表 in July

Make a deal with the devil, but keep your fingers crossed
Make a 列表 of things to do when bored.
Make a 列表 of things 你 want
Make a rubber band ball
Make a sundial
Make a trash can a 篮球 hoop and throw crumpled up paper for baskets
Make an entertaining phone answering-machine message
Make faces at strangers to make them laugh
Make oatmeal in the bathtub
Make shoelaces out of noodles
Make 袜子 puppets
Make sound effects for stuff
Make up a new language
Make up code names for 你 and some friends
Make up crazy facts about things and tell them to other people like 你 are very smart.
Make up famous sayings
Make up ghost stories
Make up poems 或者 songs about your boredom
Make your feet talk to each other
Make yourself sweat
Mark your territory
Master the art of cherry-stem tongue-tying
Memorize pi (the number)
Mix and match your socks
Mix some odd foods together and eat them
n the front lawn

Never say never I never will again
Open a box of Animal Crackers and make an animal farm
Open everything
Out of nowhere, 或者 when it is quiet, say loud "When I say heeee-aay, 你 say hoooo, Heeee-aay" and see how many people say "ho"
Over pluck your eyebrows
Paint with your toes
Paint 斑马 stripes on your computer
Patch some clothing
Pay for expensive things with pennies
Peel grapes
Phone your local government rep and see if 你 can convince him 或者 her to have lunch with 你
Pick a 随意 person and worship them
Pick other people’s noses
Pick the fuzz balls off hotel blankets
Pick your nose
Plan a journey
Plant M&M’s
Plaster those free 纹身 all over your body
Play a tune with keypad numbers on the phone

Play bottle 帽 hockey...with pens as the sticks and a bottle 帽 as the puck
Play cards
Play dead
Play dress-up with all the clothes 你 have in your closet
Play 鸭 鸭 goose
Play Frisbee
Play house with yourself
Play leap frog
Play pick up sticks
Play rock-paper-scissors
Play solitaire
Play songs backwards and listen for satanic messagesListen to a painting
Play tag
Play tiddly winks
Play to lose
Play video games
Play with marbles
Play with some LEGOS
Plead the fifth
Plot revenge against someone.
Plot the overthrow of your local school board
Pop zits and blackheads, clean lint out of belly button, q-tips, and find those hidden treasures of the nose
Post Post-It© Notes all over your house
Pour instant concrete in your sister/brother's waterbed
Pour water in your hand, make a sneeze noise, and throw water on the back of person's neck. Act like you're not sorry at all for what they think 你 did. 评论 instead on how big that sneeze was 或者 about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.
Practice phrasing your 答案 in the form of a question, like on Jeopardy.
Practice your arm pit farting skills (Advanced participants try with your hand cupped on the back of your knee)
Practice your ty-chi. Wave your arms all around like your really know what 你 are doing.
Preach about wearing seatbelts
Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is
Pretend to be a car - Make appropriate revving noises in your head as 你 walk along and add a racing commentary as 你 pass strangers in the street. Use blinking eyes as indicators for extra authenticity.

Pretend to communicate with your 首页 planet.
Pretend 你 are God
Pretend 你 are Xena the Warrior Princess
Pretend you're a dog
Procrastinate
Pronounce your 老友记 names backwards
Pull someone else’s pigtails
Purpose marriage to the 下一个 living thing 你 see
Purr
Push your eyes for interesting light show
Put bunny ears on people 你 don't know (the two finger kind 你 know, like a peace sign)
Put doll clothes on your cat and play dress up
Put legwarmers on all your furniture
Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets
Put sunglasses on your pet
Put your 圣诞节 lights up in April
Put your shoes on the opposite feet
Quiver
Read a book a sentence a day

Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster
Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God
Redecorate your garage
Relive fond memories
Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning - Pick a 随意 word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.
Repeatingly call someone Al and get mad when they say that’s not their name
Respond to everything with “well that’s what 你 think”
Roll down 草 hills
Roll over
Roll your change
Roll your tongue
Run a Miss Area-code pageant
Run across the room, tag someone and say "You're it."
Run around in squares.
Run around your house as fast as 你 can and, count how many times 你 can go without getting tired.
Run for Pope
Run to the window, then say, "Sorry, I thought I saw the Bat-signal".
Sandpaper a 蘑菇
Save your toenail clippings
Say “blink-blink” when 你 blink
Say everything twice
Say everything twice
Say tongue twisters
Scheme
Scratch yourself - Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?

See how long 你 can hold your breath
See how long 你 can sleep
See how long 你 can stay awake
See how many hugs 你 can get in one day
See how many licks it actually takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
See if diamonds really do cut glass
See what's in your neighbor's rubbish/trash - 你 can learn a lot about them this way.
Seek out the Paranormal
Send chills down your spine
Send postcards to yourself
Send your goldfish to obedience school
Set off metal detectors
Set up your 圣诞节 树 in April
Set your life's ambition to become a slacker
Sew your own clothes
Sharpen a carrot
Shave your head
Shoot rubber bands at someone, when they accuse 你 look confused and point to the person to the left of you.
Shout “shut up, SHUT UP,” and hit your head on a table
显示 school pride, for a school other than your own
Shuffle cards and cut the deck
Sing even if 你 can't
Sing in the rain
Sit on the washing machine during the spin cycle.
Skip
Skip rope
Slouch
Smell EVERYTHING 你 come across
Smile all 日 for a day
Snap your fingers as if suddenly 你 have a bright idea and see if 你 get any
Snicker
Sniffle
Snore
Snort
Speak in acronyms
Spell your name with mustard all over the 街, 街道
Spend a few hours 白日梦 that 你 had a billion dollars
Spend hours downloading large files, then 删除 them, download, delete.....
Spike your dog’s hair
Spike your hair
Spill things
Spin pencils on your fingers
Spit shine your Nikes
Stack furniture
Stand on your head
Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around - This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work?
Stare at the ceiling and try to make something out of the dots
Stare into space
Start a club, make everyone who joined pay dues, then call it stupid and quit.
Start a conversation with yourself
Start a diary

Start a wave.
Start laughing really hard and say, "Oh, now I get it.".
Start something but don’t finish it
State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")
Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff - To get any benefit out of this one, 你 have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and...AHHHHHH!!!!!
Stick marshmallows between your buttocks and see how far 你 can walk without dropping them.
Stick your tongue out
Stomp grapes in the bathtub
Stop what you're doing, flick on the radio, get up and dance!
Surf the internet
Swat flies
Swear at yourself
Take a class on self defense
Take a week of vacation from work to just sit at 首页 and watch tons of 电影院
Take an IQ Test
Take money out of the bank and spend it all on yourself
Take pictures of interesting things that 你 see all day.
Take the fifth.
Take your cat to the restroom with you
Take your 仓鼠 to the 海滩
Take your TV outside
Talk back to the radio
Talk like a pirate
Talk with your hands
*69 Telemarketers and ask them if they want to buy 随意 stuff
Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while
Test thin ice...with a pogo stick
Think of nicknames for everyone 你 know.
Think shallow thoughts
Throw a huge party for no reason at all
Throw a sleepover
Throw a 番茄 into a fan
Throw marshmallows against the wall
Tie bows in everything
Tie someones shoe's together
Try a sample of every flavor at baskin’ robins but don’t buy anything
Try bird-watching.
Try harder
Try plan B
Try to break a world record
Try to develop psychic powers, then use 'em.
Try to make reservations at McDonalds
Try to Outmaneuver your shadow
Try to play a cassette in your CD player.
Try to put your feet behind your head
Try to stay up for 24 hours

Turn off the lights whenever 你 enter a room
Turn on everything
Turn on the T.V., put it on mute and make up dialogue
Turn your TV upside down and watch it
Turn yourself in a for a crime 你 didn’t commit
Unplug everything and rearrange the furniture
Use a kick me sign. As a challenge, see how many people 你 can put a kick me sign on without them knowing it.
Use the word stuff as much as possible
Use your secret mind power - Pick a passing 由 and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag 或者 knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner 或者 later one of your mind commands will come true, so 你 can convince yourself that 你 really have super human powers and waste even 更多 time trying them out.
Vacation at Three-Mile Island
Vacuum your lawn
Volunteer for a charity
Walk around a public park, every so often pretend to trip on a 'invisible' wire.
Walk around as a body guard for a 日 for one of your friends
Walk around the room begging for spare change.
Walk extra fast all day
Wash behind your ears
Wash your car
Washable crayons are a wonderful invention. Pick a 墙 and invite friends.
Watch 101 Dalmatians and see if they really 显示 101 Dalmatians.
Watch a foreign film
Watch a 首页 movie and make fun of yourself as a kid
Watch the 分钟 hand move
Watch TV, repeat everything 说 in Italian accent - Sort of entertaining. Include flamboyant shoulder shrugs for added impact, 或者 go for a Marlon Brando set of grunts.
Wear a different Hawaiian print 衬衫 everyday for a year
Wear a lampshade on your head
Wear a right shoe that is different than your left shoe and see if people notice
Wear a three-piece suit...in a sauna
Wear all your clothes inside out for the day

Wear duct tape
Wear fuzzy bunny slippers to work
Wear no underwear
Wheeze
When 你 buy something ask to get your picture taken with the clerk
When 你 have people over ask them if they ever feel like they are being watched
When 你 smile bite your lip
Whine about everything
Whisper everything
Whistle while 你 work
Wiggle your leg
Wiggle your nose
Wiggle your toes
Wink at everyone
Write a book about your 前一个 life
Write a limerick.
Write a poem
Write a rant letter to your local newspaper.
Write a really long essay
Write a song
Write calligraphy messages to your friends
Write complaint letters to companies that annoy you.
Write fortune cookie sayings
Write glow in the dark messages on people’s ceilings (“I'm watching you!)
Write graffiti under the rug
Write in a circle
Write letters to 随意 people claiming 你 are their 迷失 cousin, ask for money
Write your name in permanent marker on all your underwear
你 and a friend pick your noses and see who has the biggest boogers.
added by angiii7
Source: OMGitsDaiana
added by TheFunnyChick95
added by kwlski4ever
added by jen929
added by twilight0girl
Source: a really bad 壁纸 由 me
posted by nmdis
RED

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street
Faster than the wind, passionate as sin ending so suddenly
Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall
Like the 颜色 in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all

[Chorus:]
Losing him was blue like I'd never known
Missing him was dark grey all along
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody 你 never met
But loving him was red
Loving him was red

[Verse 2:]
Touching him was like realizing all 你 ever wanted was right there in front of you
Memorizing him was as easy as knowing...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
SLOW DOWN

Now that I have captured your attention
I want to steal 你 for a rhythm intervention
Mr. T, 你 say I'm ready for inspection
Show me how 你 make a first impression

Oh, oh
Can we take it nice and slow, slow
Break it down and drop it low, low
Cause I just wanna party all night in the neon lights 'til 你 can't let me go

I just wanna feel your body right 下一个 to mine
All night long
Baby, slow down the song
And when it's coming closer to the end hit rewind
All night long
Baby, slow down the song

If 你 want me I'm accepting applications
So long as we keep this record on rotation
You know I'm good...
continue reading...
~A/N~ I want to give half credit for this to DaveAndJohn we had the idea together o3o 爱情 红豆杉 fellow homestuckie. And I also want to thank vampirer04 for helping me when I was stuck and couldn’t get ahold of DaveAndJohn. Thanks so much to both of you. FYI all the povs are at different places –in school unless 说 otherwise- and different times –unless they are connected to another pov stories-
(Mituna’s POV)

It felt weird doing this to my little brother, but Sollux had it coming. I had walked in with a bucket and threw the content inside on him. Sollux sat up soaked, “Mituna what...
continue reading...
posted by Bella_Dhampir
Oh, fallacies!

So.. as stupid as this may sound, I've never really known about fallacies. That is, until this year, when we learned about them. To tell 你 the truth, I felt pretty stupid after that English lesson.. not because I had never known about fallacies, but because I realized that I used them in A LOT of arguments. O.o

So I guess I just wanna 列表 a couple of 流行的 ones, and define them for any of 你 who also don't really know about fallacies, and just talk a bit about them and how I've used them before.

1. ad hominem
This is when the arguer attacks the person instead of the argument...
continue reading...
posted by klaine_forever
I, klaine_forever, did NOT write this! I dont know if it has already been 发布 so if it has then whatevz

Big Macintosh surveyed the many apples trees that made up Sweet 苹果 Acres. It was nearly apple-buck season once again, and it looked as though they would be having a bumper harvest this year. He nodded, satisfied. His sister 苹果白兰地 walked up beside him. “Whoo, boy howdy! I sure am glad 你 ain’t injured this time, Big Macintosh!” she said. “Why, there’s even 更多 apples on them trees than last year!”
“Eeyup!” Big Macintosh replied, in his characteristic manner....
continue reading...
There was a boy called Jake who always got teased at school he got because he was different one 日 he he cme back to school it looked like a normal 日 but while everyone walked around Jake acted himself like every normal 日 but when the 钟, 贝尔 rang for clas he got a 44 火, 消防 arm he shot lot's of the kids teacher too so 你 let that be a lesson for 你 if 你 had not teased him he would have been fine who knows 你 could have even saved his life.

Afew days past and Jake was dead he had decided to shoot himself in the head many people blammed it all jake when really it was there own fault at take.
posted by pure-angel
Dost thou 爱情 life?
Then do not squander time,
for that is the stuff life is made of.
Benjamin Franklin

Life is either a daring adventure 或者 nothing.
Helen Keller

Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt 你 represents determinism; the way 你 play it is free will.
Jawaharal Nehru








Life is like the dice that, falling, still 显示 a different face. So life, though it remains the same, is always presenting different aspects.
Alexis

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, 或者 熊 its troubles patiently.
Palladas

The geat blessing of mankind are within us and...
continue reading...
posted by Thecharliejay
100 Ways to Annoy People
1.Get to know a 老友记 bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
2.Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
3.Call other people "Champ" 或者 "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
4.Drum on every available surface.
5.Sing the 蝙蝠侠 theme incessantly.
6.Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
7.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
8.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
9.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
10.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
11.Insist on giving...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says,

'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, 你 can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, 公牛 Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
Neon lips, blue eyeshadow, shimmering glitter, and golden bronzers: This spring, some of the most dramatic looks we saw on the runways are making their way onto our faces. But not everything we dabble on pleases everyone. We had a hunch that some of our biggest beauty obsessions might be turn-offs for guys...so we went ahead asked. Prepare yourself: brutal honesty ensues.

1. Heavy foundation and powders:"The inch-thick powder is a huge turn-off," says Maxim senior editor Nick Leftley. "No guy wants to 吻乐队(Kiss) a girl on the cheek and then find he¹s wearing foundation himself." A flaking face is...
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posted by shomill
M R snakes.
M A no snakes.
O S M R snakes.
CDBDI's?
O S! M R snakes!
AAAAAAAAAA!

-My dad told me this one years and years ago. I'd almost forgotten it until tonight. Here's another one:

Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and liddlamszy divy.

-The answer: Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy.

And an old knock-knock joke:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
香蕉 who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
香蕉 who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
香蕉 who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
橙子, 橙色 who?
橙子, 橙色 你 glad I didn't say 香蕉 again?

Hope 你 had fun!
posted by alismouha
My dear son...

I send 你 this letter,if it doesn't reach you,tell me so I can re-send it.

I'm 写作 this as slowly as I can,because I am aware that 你 can't read quickly.

I will send this to 你 with your brother,he is asleep now,so I'll put it in his pocket,if he forgets to hand it to you,reach in and take it.

The weather is really great here,it only rained a couple of times last week,the first time it lasted 4 days,and the 秒 one it was only 3 days.

About the leather 夹克 你 wanted me to send to you,it was going to cost me a fortune to ship because its buttons were too heavy,so I cut...
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posted by darkkhorn19
It was around 12:30 and I was at the grocery, I was busy getting some apples when a teenage boy goes over to me and hands me a cold bottle of water and a magazine. I thanked him, but apon 阅读 the magazine it was full of lies. It was trying to convert me to Christianity, so before I drank the water, I threw the ice-cold water in his face, dropped the magazine, and 说 "If your so-called "God" exsisted, why didn't he stop me from doing that?" The boy simply replied "Because your denying his love". Right away, I replied "Oh please, If there was a God, I bet 你 he'd rather prefer a good honest Athiest than a preacher on Televison going around lying about his healing powers". He was angered "And how do 你 know who God would prefer?!" If it was even possible at the time, I was calmer than before and answered. "The very same way the bible was made". I smiled warmly as I saw him stomp away with anger.
posted by boomerlover
Yo Mama So Stupid I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder...

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her butt weighs 50 pounds.

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went 首页 and got 16 friends.

Yo mama so stupid when your dad 说 it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to 床, 床上 to see how long she slept.

Yo mama so stupid she 偷了 free bread.

Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio.

Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and...
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added by Cyrusrocks