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OK, this 文章 is going to be in the point of view of many different characters. Before it begins in their point of view it will have their names.
BELLA
Edward wasn't a school today, too sunny, I'm guessing. The Cullens are probably out hunting. Charlie had 说 that where the Cullens "hike" is filled with bears. I'm pretty sure that they are hunting somewhere else today, so I would like to see how it looks up there. I pulled on some hiking boots and got in my truck.
Eventually I reached the place. I was standing on the side of a small cliff. I found a few 熊 prints, and started to wander why I came here in the first place. There was a forest to my left, and it was filled with bushes and trees.
One of the bushes started to shake. Edward stepped out, eyes black as coals, and blood dripping down his mouth. He was staring at me, slowly putting me between him and the cliff.
"Edward, don't!" I was screaming now, fear growing inside me. I started to run, even though I knew there was no chance I could outrun him, not just because he is a vampire, I'm also his singer, meaning that my blood sings to him. I tripped over a rock, and he used vampie speed, took my leg in his cold, hard hand and bit my calf.
"Edward! Edward, stop! Please!" everything was going fuzzy, and he still wasn't stopping... couldn't he reconize my voice, even though he was in this hungry state? I was trying to scream more, but they just came out in, harsh, weak ways, and slowly, everything went black.
EDWARD
"Let's all meet at the clearing," Carlisle had said. I used my speed to reach our special clearing, only to find that I was the last person there.
"Hello, Edward. We were just dicussing what we caught today. None of us had much luck...What did 你 catch?" Carlisle welcomed me.
I put my hand on my forehead, what had I caught? "I, I can't remember," I mumbled.
"Do 你 remember where 你 were when 你 made the kill?" they were all looking at me in a strange way now. We 吸血鬼 don't forget things very easily, 你 see.
"I was 由 the cli-, Bella!" I was running now, I had to get to her, soon. I could hear the rest of my family running after me. I skidded to the spot where I had bitten Bella. Blood was splattered everywhere, and she was laying right on the edge of the cliff, so close, I thought that one touch would send her toppling over.
"Bella, no?!" I screamed, scooping her up and holding her tightly. I sobbed onto her shoulder. What did I do?
"Edward, it's OK, she's still alive, let me see her," Carlisle tried to convince me to hand the only person I've ever cared about into his care, but he doesn't know that, of course.
"Sure, just make sure she's OK," I relunctantly handed Bella over. I, feeling ashamed of what I had done, left the scene. I crawled through some bushes that were arranged in a 圈, 圈子 around a clearing with only one oak 树 right in the center.
CARLISLE
I looked down at the small human in my arms, I knew her as Isabella Swann, daughter of Cheif Swann. But Edward had mentioned something about her smelling 更多 appetizing to him, much worse than other people. She was getting better, I could listen to her 心 beating to check that she was healthy. I knew she was going to wake up soon.
"She'll be waking up soon, I want to try something," I told Esme and Rosalie.
"What," Rosalie didn't even make it sound like a question.
"When she wakes we will tell her she is dead, then ask her how she feels that Edward killed her. I want to see what she says." They nodded in aggrement.
BELLA
I blinked open my eyes to see three sparkling figures leaning over me.
"Am-am I dead?" I mumbled.
"What makes 你 think 你 are dead?" the male one asked.
"You, are angels, right?"
"Yes, we are angels, and, yes, 你 are dead. How do 你 feel that Edward killed you?" the same 天使 asked.
"I guess it wasn't his fault, he was out hunting, right, and he can't controll himself hunting. I don't blame him," I said, my voice getting stronger.
"Hmmm. Is that right... Bella, 你 aren't dead. I am Carlisle Cullen, 你 know Rosalie, and this is my wife Esme," he 说 gesturing around him. I suddenly reconized them all, and with a jolt, I sat up.
"Where's Edward?! I have to see him!"
"He went through those bushes..." I jumped to my feet, well, foot, and toppled back down. My right leg wasn't working, and hurt uncontrollably. But, I, being the person I am, crawled through the bushes, my usless leg dragging behind.
"Edward!" it was so good to see him. He looked at me with his eyes, still slack, and watched them turn back to their beautiful amber color.
"Bella!" I could barely hear him whisper my name, he sounded shocked. "I can't belive you're OK!"
"Of coarse I'm OK, I wounldn't allow myself to die and hurt 你 like that," I joked snickering. He scooped me up and brought me to the large oak he had been sitting under. We curled up and started to kiss.
CARLISLE
When Bella had crawled off to see Edward, I had become curious about how urgent she had been to see him. I, just out of curiosity, had peeked through the bushes to see what they were doing, only to find them curled up together. I recoiled back. What was Edward DOING!!!
I twisted my head around to see Rosalie, Esme, Emmett, and Jasper watching me as I spied. I motioned them over. In milliseconds they were beside me, peering in, withdrawing in moments with shocked looks on their faces.
We all started to spy again. Now they had started to KISS! I mean, full out french style! Now, we just couldn't stop ourselves from watching. The two finally stopped, after a long time, may I add, and had started to talk.
"I 爱情 你 Bella," Edward whispered into her ear.
"I 爱情 你 too, Edward," she said, 接吻 him one 更多 time on the cheek.
"You shouldn't. I almost killed you, 你 could be so much safer with someone else," he warned her.
"I forgive you! 你 couldn't controle your self!" Everything was becoming clear now. THIS was why Edward dad seemed so upset about Bella, this is why he was hesitant to hand her over to me. Our dear Edward had found love.
EDWARD
"I want 你 to climb me in a tree," Bella suddenly requested.
"Can't 你 climb yourself?" I joked. I had forgotten about her leg and winced when she waved her hand towards it.
"OK, OK. How about the oak?"
"Too small." Eventually Bella had found the tallest 树 in the forest. It seemed like hunderds of feet tall. Even though it had extreme hight, we were at the 最佳, 返回页首 of it in seconds. We stood looking down upon the forest.
"Even a vampire could die if he fell from this hight!" I said. It's true. We can't survive just everything, 你 know.
"Can 你 survive this?" Bella leaned 前锋, 期待 and kissed me. We kissed, and kissed. It was so wonderful we felt like we were floating...Wait! We WERE floating! Out of the massive 树 we fell.
"Bella! Get on 最佳, 返回页首 of me!" I couldn't let her be the one to hit the ground. I, the super-hard-to-kill-vampire, was NOT going to let Bella die instead of him. I wrapped my arms around her, protecting her. That's when we hit ground.
BELLA
Even a vampire could die if he fell from this hight! Edward's words ringed through my head. We were on the ground, in a huge crator formed 由 Edward's body. I turned my bleeding head to the side, only to see flames... Flames? Is this what happens when 吸血鬼 die? I sat up, lodging my elbows under me for support.
Edward lay on his side. His 衬衫 was ripped open, 展示 off his back. There was a large crack, like one 你 would see in a rock, running down it. Flames were flickering in and out, in and out. Edward screamed in agony. His hands dug into the loose dirt beneath us. His eyes were open wide, once again the color black.
"AAAAAHHHH!!" I had never seen him in pain before, it was terrible!
"SSHHH, Edward, I'll get help...don't die," I whispered in his ear. He weakly mumbled something that I couldn't make out and closed his eyes. Just as I was about to leave, the whole Cullen family burst through the bushes.
"It's OK. We'll take care of him. 你 can go 首页 to Charlie now," Carlisle 说 in his perfect voice.
"I'm not going anywhere!" I growled, and I'm not kidding, I ACTUALLY growled. "How did 你 know we were here?"
"Um... we kind of followed you," Esme answered nervously. I sighed and held Edward's hand. Suddenly there was a huge flash of light, and the flames were sucked back into Edward's body. He let out a tremendous roar. He closed his eyes, the hand he was holing mine in went slack, and he stopped breathing.
"Edward! No!" I sobbed. Tears ran down my cheeks.
"He's gone," Carlisle whispered. That only made me cry harder. Edward's hand tightened around mine, lifted my head, my tears stopping.
"Wait!" he opened his eyes. They were green. His skin felt warm and I could feel a pulse.
"He's human!" someone 说 it, I just didn't know who. He lurched 前锋, 期待 in a series of coughs. His skin had 更多 color to it, but he was still pale. The sickish kind of pale.
"He's a human with the Spanish Influinsa!" Carlisle shoved me out of the way and started to work on the now-human-Edward. Carlisle leaned back, took in a deap breath, and closed his eyes. "I have to bite him," he said.
"But, but-"
"He'll die if I don't, Bella," he 说 to me.
"Caroline! Caroline! I need Caroline!" Edward screamed.
"Who's Caroline?" I asked.
"Caroline was Edward's girlfriend while he was dieing," Carlisle said. I saw them all look for my reaction.
"Oh, well, she dead now, so I guess he's only got me," I hadn't meant to sound so evil. But when I saw the snicker shoot across Emmett's face, I regreted what I had just said. I slapped my hand over my mouth.
"That's OK, when he's a vampire again he'll only remember you," I was told. Then Carlisle leaned down, sunk his teeth into Edward's skin. That's when the screaming began.


IN THE FUTURE
EDWARD
We were in Alaska. I hadn't seen Bella in months and they last time I HAD seen her, we were in the woods, and I had told her I would be leaving...without her. The last look a had seen across her beautiful face had been one of sadness, hurt, loneliness. The only picture that appeared in my mind when I thought of her was that terrible look, one I would never forget.
"Oh, my gosh!" Alice leaned 前锋, 期待 in her seat, cluching onto the coffie 表 in front of her.
"What is it Alice? What did 你 see?" I asked. Maybe it was something about Bella. I just ahd to know
"It was a vision about Bella...she was, ugh, jumping off a cliff."
"A WHAT?!" I leaped 前锋, 期待 and grabbed the car keys, then put them back down...driving would take to long. 下一个 thing I knew I was getting off the plane. I was now in Forks. The family had come with me. We rented a car and sped off into the town.
I started to follow her scent. Then, I 迷失 it in the sound of werewolf. Oh, Lord! How could I help her now? I stopped the car and ran into the woods, following the werewolf's scent. I told the rest of my posse to hang back, that I would go on ahead.
I came just before a spot in the woods that I knew the 狼 would have to be. I peeked through the trees, only to almost fall over when I saw what I saw.
Bella was tan. Her hair was now cropped off at her shoulders. She was well muscled, and had gotten very tall. Bella was a werewolf.
"Why did 你 do this to me?" she asked the other wolf, the boy named Jacob Black.
"I had to!" he growled to her. I saw Bella sniff the air and look in my direction.
"Vampire! Those lousy, self absorbant little... What am I saying?!" she put her hand on her head and shook it.
"Finally I'm rubbing off on you!" he smiled an evil smile.
"Shut up, Jacob. Do 你 think it's..."
"Bella, everytime 你 smell something sweet, 你 think it's Edward, get over it!" Bella growled, turning into a massive, silver wolf. Jacob turned into a reddish wolf, growled, cuffed Bella in the ear, and ran off into the woods.
BELLA
I wanted to kill Jacob. Why did he do this to me? I stood in the clearing where we had just fought, and strode over to my clothes bag. I took the outfit in my teeth and tied it around my paws.
The vampie hiding in the woods' smell was over powering. I turned towards the fellow "creature" and sat, waiting for it to come outy of it's hiding spot.
Out stepped Edward. His skin glistening in the sun. He used super-speed to run to me. He got down on one knee and kissed my snout.
"I'll 爱情 你 no matter what 你 are Bella," he whispered into my bleeding ear, the one Jacob had cut. I licked him in the face and started to make soft wimpering noises. I transformed back, the clothes tied around my paws were correctly fitted on my body now.
"I'm sorry. He made me like this so I would actually live my life," I said.
"Oh, well, OK," Edward said. "Hey, Bella. 你 HOWL to my heart...get it?"
"Wow. 你 don't even want to know how cheesey that was." Edward laughed, I laughed. He scooped me up and took me to his family.
CARLISLE
"What happened?" was the first thing a 说 when I saw the new Bella. She told me her story, and all I could be was mad.Why would Jacob have done that.
"Actually, that wasn't why I transformed her," the boy who was responsable for it all stepped throught the bushes. "It was either this, 或者 kill her. And I'm tellin' ya' this girl's unkillable. She didn't die wrecking a motorcycle, she didn't die jumping off a cliff, so my only choice was to put an imprint on her," jacob 说 in an evil voice.
"What? Why?" Bella said, staring at him.
"Bella, for almost a 年 你 were miserable, 你 did nothing. It was all because of Romeo over here. If I killed you, all sadness would be gone, but if 你 were a werewolf, 你 would get over it faster, knowing that 你 could NEVER 爱情 him again. BUT, 你 COULD 爱情 me," he snickered, and ran away into the woods leaving us all in shock.



GLAD I GOT THAT OUTTA MY MIND!!!!
posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while 以前 and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask 你 somethingand i want 你 to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how 你 feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want 你 to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi 或者 Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by adultswimperson
Source: 谷歌
I found this hilarious 文章 on pcworld.com
Don't know who the 作者 is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's 锦标 Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my...
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added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: 谷歌
posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a 密码 other than "password" 或者 "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits 下一个 to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be 更多 imaginative.

I will not bore my boss 由 with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some 更多 excuses.

I will do less laundry and use 更多 deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
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Give my regards to broadway. o-O

*Insert epic theme song here*

Alright, I'm pretty sure we all know who Spongebob is. The 显示 was a funny, crazy, and inventive kids 显示 that pretty much EVERYBODY ALIVE has at least heard of.

The 显示 had memorable characters, funny comedy that everyone can enjoy, and.......

CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! ^____^

But one of my 最喜爱的 parts of the 显示 was the songs, and today we're counting down the best of them!

BECAUSE NOBODY CAN SING BETTER THAN A TALKING SPONGE. ;D

#10. Striped Sweater!

link

Shots fired.

Seriously, this is EASILY the stupidest song on this...
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added by Juilet1234
posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did 你 get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A 企鹅 rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four 问题 to determine the level of your intellect. Your 回复 must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating 或者 wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: 你 are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in 秒 place.
In which position are 你 now?

Answer:

If 你 answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. 你 overtook the 秒 runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the 下一个 问题 try not to be so dumb.

2 : If 你 overtake the last...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked 由 his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes 首页 and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother 回复 " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad 回复 "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she 回复 "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she 回复 "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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posted by invadercalliope
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? 你 know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let 你 go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are 你 enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."

Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."

Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling 你 how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."

Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
What's your personality type?

Picks/Polls
link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link
link

(E) Extrovert
-Tend to focus on the outer world of people and the external environment
-Like variety and action
-Often impatient with long, slow jobs
-Are interested in the activities of their work and in how other people do it
-Often act quickly, sometimes without thinking
-Develop ideas 由 discussion
-Like to learn new task 由 talking it through with someone
-Need to experience the world in order to understand it and thus tend to like action

(I) Introverts
-Focus 更多 on their own inner world,...
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Okay so if 你 live on the eastcoast u are probably getting used to the snow..........so even if u aren't, everybody has the problem of having nothing to do when it snows but sled. So these are a few of the things that i enjoy to do.........hehe!

1. Fill balloons with water. Then leave them outside overnight.............yeah i'm this stupid. The 下一个 day, cut the balloons off and 你 got.........AN ICE BALL!! (i usually make like 15) Then use them to pay dodgeball. This is especially fun to do in deep snow, when 你 can barely 移动 as it is. Technically, u could use them to do various things,...
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… So YIIK is a game



Okay, so a lot of you, 或者 hell, all of 你 are probably asking, “Nik, what the fuck are 你 doing this time?” All two of 你 that read these will know that I have talked about this game almost a 年 以前 on the short lived In-Indie subseries I do, where I mildly praised the game despite how it is. This was around when the game was relatively new and didn’t have much attention aside from the mixed reviews that it had gotten. That is, until a few months later when so much came out about this game. It wasn’t long before YIIK: A Postmodern RPG became pretty much...
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Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne, known in other regions as Shin Megami Tensei: Lucifer’s Call, is the “third” game in the SMT franchise. And I say third with 语录 because any SMT 粉丝 will tell 你 that’s bullshit. The third in the mainline franchise, yes, but SMT has had several spin offs and franchises all from the Shin Megami Tensei titles alone. Hell, one of them that 你 may know, and the reason why 你 are 阅读 this 文章 right now to yell at me over, is the Persona franchise. Persona is part of the same series, but vastly different. Persona is a game that is about the...
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added by zanhar1
added by TheLefteris24
posted by scarletunicorn
So, this started out as a small little thing between AudreyFreak and me, but I'd thought it'd be good for us to 评论 on characters we don't like and don't care for, and maybe it'd be good to explain, even those characters that are glorified 由 the fandom but have 总体, 整体 massive problems in general.

So, let's go!

Margery Tyrell (Game of Thrones).

AF- Unlike her less developed but actually likable book counterpart, TV Margaery (or “Marge Boleyn”, as some say, which I love) has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. She’s essentially a glorified prom 皇后乐队 who just lives to cattily pick on...
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 Let's fuckin do this
Let's fuckin do this
Well, the first episode has a whopping SEVENTEEN 粉丝 now, which is my most 流行的 文章 to date, so I guess a lot of 你 wanted a sequel. Hope 你 guys enjoy, sorry it took so long to happen. XD

"How to compliment a guy."

It's not that hard, just say something nice. Do 你 REALLY need 建议 from the internet on something so INSANELY simple such as this?

"Fries insulted me!"

You insult humanity, it's a pretty fair trade to me.

"Paul's Empire."

DANCE my minions, DANCE! >:D

"What does astroglide smell like?"

Fresh flowers, unless the lubricant has been used after masturbating, in which case a...
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