Bored? Need something to spice up your day? Why not annoy the living shit out of someone 你 love? Here are a few suggestions.
1. Go to the library. Every 15 minutes, go up to the same guy and joke, "Working hard 或者 hardly working?"
2. At the dentist, start screaming as soon as 你 open your mouth.
3. Stand in front of the TV while your dad is watching a big game.
4. Every 30 分钟 或者 so, call your friend who is babysitting and breathe into the phone.
5. Scrape your ring 或者 your nails on the blackboard 下一个 time you're asked to do a problem at the board.
6. 下一个 音乐会 你 go to, yell out "Mmmbop!" between every song.
7. Whenever someone asks 你 a question, say, "What?" As soon as they start to talk again, cut them off with another, "What?"
8. When someone asks to borrow paper, say, "Do 你 think paper grows on trees?" Then laugh hysterically.
9. Give yourself a really big 牛奶 mustache at the breakfast 表 and refuse to wipe it off.
10. Send emails to your 老友记 with subjects reading, "You're never going to believe this!!!" Then leave the message part blank.
11. Tell the same joke over and over and laugh as loud as 你 can at the punchline every single time.
12. Ask someone to borrow a tissue, pretend to blow your nose and stick it back in their pocket.
13. Put garlic powder inside the showerhead in the bathroom (after 你 take a shower, of course).
14. Anytime someone says something, respond, "Yeah, so's your mom."
15. Leave smelly socks on your brother's pillow; blame it on the dog.
16. Tell your friend's crush that she wants to marry him.
17. Break into your 最喜爱的 celeb's house and try their clothes on. Wait patiently to be arrested.
18. Fill your mouth with Saltines, then talk to everyone at the table.
19. When someone speaks to you, flinch like they're going to hit you.
20. Pretend your Call Waiting beeps every two 分钟 while you're on the phone. Keep checking it.
21. Put grapes inside your mom's 最喜爱的 slippers.
22. Go to McDonald's and order lobster. After they explain that they don't serve lobster, storm out, shouting, "I should've gone to Wendy's!"
23. Approach a total stranger and ask, "Are my ears wiggling?" making no attempt to wiggle them. As soon as the person walks away, ask, "How about now?"
24. Whistle the pesky Chipmunks' 圣诞节 song all day. Don't stop until it's stuck in five people's heads.
25. Tell a friend that she has something on her face when she doesn't. Keep telling her to wipe harder.
26. When 你 go to pick someone up, lean on the horn as 你 pull into their driveway. Don't stop until they're in the car.
27. When your brother 或者 sister's dates are over, break out baby pics of them "going potty".
28. Lock the passenger side car door when your friend is trying to get in. Yell, "Take your hand off the handle!" Then unlock it and lock it again when they try to open it. Yell, "Take your hand off the handle!" Repeat.
29. When the lights go out at the movies, make barfing noises.
30. Sing the wrong words to songs at the school dance.
31. Point your fingers at a friend in the shape of a gun, make a clicking sound, and say, "Take it sleazy!"
32. Request no MSG on your food-- everywhere 你 go.
33. While on vacation with your family, suddenly scream, "Did anyone remember to unplug the iron?"
34. At a party, keep telling one of your 老友记 she has bad breath. No matter how many mints she eats, say, "God, did 你 eat tuna for lunch?"
35. When anyone says, "Can I ask 你 a question?" say, "You just did."
36. In class, keep telling your bud that her bra strap is showing.
37. Make up a joke that takes 10 分钟 to tell and has no punchline.
38. When answering the phone, say, "Yellow?"
39. Go to a store, buy a bunch of things, and pay for them with pennies.
40. While driving in your friend's car, insist that 你 smell dog poop. Enjoy as she sniffs around.
41. Give the person walking in front of 你 a flat tire. Apologize profusely. Then do it again.
42. 下一个 party, go into the bathroom, steal all of the toilet paper, and listen for the cries of terror.
43. In the cafeteria, pretend 你 dropped something and bend down to get it. While under the table, tie your friend's shoelace to her chair. Then ask her to go get 你 a napkin.
44. Keep asking everyone at the bus stop, "Cold enough for ya?"
45. Tell a friend you'll tape Buffy for her, and purposefully stop taping 10 分钟 from the end.
46. Go to the 图书馆 and play your Walkman loud enough so that everyone can hear your headphones. Stay there for the entire day.
47. While someone's taking a shower, steal their towel.
48. Spend an entire 日 speaking with a really fake British accent.
49. When you're in the passenger 座位 and the driver changes lanes, scream, "Watch out for that truck!"
50. Blow kisses at everyone 你 meet at the mall.
1. Go to the library. Every 15 minutes, go up to the same guy and joke, "Working hard 或者 hardly working?"
2. At the dentist, start screaming as soon as 你 open your mouth.
3. Stand in front of the TV while your dad is watching a big game.
4. Every 30 分钟 或者 so, call your friend who is babysitting and breathe into the phone.
5. Scrape your ring 或者 your nails on the blackboard 下一个 time you're asked to do a problem at the board.
6. 下一个 音乐会 你 go to, yell out "Mmmbop!" between every song.
7. Whenever someone asks 你 a question, say, "What?" As soon as they start to talk again, cut them off with another, "What?"
8. When someone asks to borrow paper, say, "Do 你 think paper grows on trees?" Then laugh hysterically.
9. Give yourself a really big 牛奶 mustache at the breakfast 表 and refuse to wipe it off.
10. Send emails to your 老友记 with subjects reading, "You're never going to believe this!!!" Then leave the message part blank.
11. Tell the same joke over and over and laugh as loud as 你 can at the punchline every single time.
12. Ask someone to borrow a tissue, pretend to blow your nose and stick it back in their pocket.
13. Put garlic powder inside the showerhead in the bathroom (after 你 take a shower, of course).
14. Anytime someone says something, respond, "Yeah, so's your mom."
15. Leave smelly socks on your brother's pillow; blame it on the dog.
16. Tell your friend's crush that she wants to marry him.
17. Break into your 最喜爱的 celeb's house and try their clothes on. Wait patiently to be arrested.
18. Fill your mouth with Saltines, then talk to everyone at the table.
19. When someone speaks to you, flinch like they're going to hit you.
20. Pretend your Call Waiting beeps every two 分钟 while you're on the phone. Keep checking it.
21. Put grapes inside your mom's 最喜爱的 slippers.
22. Go to McDonald's and order lobster. After they explain that they don't serve lobster, storm out, shouting, "I should've gone to Wendy's!"
23. Approach a total stranger and ask, "Are my ears wiggling?" making no attempt to wiggle them. As soon as the person walks away, ask, "How about now?"
24. Whistle the pesky Chipmunks' 圣诞节 song all day. Don't stop until it's stuck in five people's heads.
25. Tell a friend that she has something on her face when she doesn't. Keep telling her to wipe harder.
26. When 你 go to pick someone up, lean on the horn as 你 pull into their driveway. Don't stop until they're in the car.
27. When your brother 或者 sister's dates are over, break out baby pics of them "going potty".
28. Lock the passenger side car door when your friend is trying to get in. Yell, "Take your hand off the handle!" Then unlock it and lock it again when they try to open it. Yell, "Take your hand off the handle!" Repeat.
29. When the lights go out at the movies, make barfing noises.
30. Sing the wrong words to songs at the school dance.
31. Point your fingers at a friend in the shape of a gun, make a clicking sound, and say, "Take it sleazy!"
32. Request no MSG on your food-- everywhere 你 go.
33. While on vacation with your family, suddenly scream, "Did anyone remember to unplug the iron?"
34. At a party, keep telling one of your 老友记 she has bad breath. No matter how many mints she eats, say, "God, did 你 eat tuna for lunch?"
35. When anyone says, "Can I ask 你 a question?" say, "You just did."
36. In class, keep telling your bud that her bra strap is showing.
37. Make up a joke that takes 10 分钟 to tell and has no punchline.
38. When answering the phone, say, "Yellow?"
39. Go to a store, buy a bunch of things, and pay for them with pennies.
40. While driving in your friend's car, insist that 你 smell dog poop. Enjoy as she sniffs around.
41. Give the person walking in front of 你 a flat tire. Apologize profusely. Then do it again.
42. 下一个 party, go into the bathroom, steal all of the toilet paper, and listen for the cries of terror.
43. In the cafeteria, pretend 你 dropped something and bend down to get it. While under the table, tie your friend's shoelace to her chair. Then ask her to go get 你 a napkin.
44. Keep asking everyone at the bus stop, "Cold enough for ya?"
45. Tell a friend you'll tape Buffy for her, and purposefully stop taping 10 分钟 from the end.
46. Go to the 图书馆 and play your Walkman loud enough so that everyone can hear your headphones. Stay there for the entire day.
47. While someone's taking a shower, steal their towel.
48. Spend an entire 日 speaking with a really fake British accent.
49. When you're in the passenger 座位 and the driver changes lanes, scream, "Watch out for that truck!"
50. Blow kisses at everyone 你 meet at the mall.
This picture is also done by ak-47
1. Chickens say jerk jerk.
2. Cows say moop moop meep.
3. Bunnies say chirp chirp.
4. Lobsters say clurp clurp clurp.
5. Chickens say burgack burgack.
6. 龙 say shlurp shlurp.
7. Snakes say slither tither slither tither.
8. Elephants say near near fear near.
9. Moose say poooo poooo low.
10. Bears say guro guro guro.
11. Alligators say pow pow bow pow.
12. 鱼 say blub blub blub.
13. 独角兽 say ashshnifafurfur.
14. Monkeys say quack quack quack brack.
15. Frogs say rebite rebite.
2. Cows say moop moop meep.
3. Bunnies say chirp chirp.
4. Lobsters say clurp clurp clurp.
5. Chickens say burgack burgack.
6. 龙 say shlurp shlurp.
7. Snakes say slither tither slither tither.
8. Elephants say near near fear near.
9. Moose say poooo poooo low.
10. Bears say guro guro guro.
11. Alligators say pow pow bow pow.
12. 鱼 say blub blub blub.
13. 独角兽 say ashshnifafurfur.
14. Monkeys say quack quack quack brack.
15. Frogs say rebite rebite.
A husband went to the doctor and tells the doctor
"I think my wife is going deaf"
-Doc-"Just to find out do this test on her
stand 50 feet away from her and ask her something if she doesn't respond 移动 10 feet closer and try the same thing as so forth"
So the husbad got 首页 and found the wife preparing 晚餐 and asks her
"Honey, Whats for dinner" No reply
he moves 10 feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" No reply
so he moved 10 更多 feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" she 回复 back and says
"For the third freaking time its chicken"
"I think my wife is going deaf"
-Doc-"Just to find out do this test on her
stand 50 feet away from her and ask her something if she doesn't respond 移动 10 feet closer and try the same thing as so forth"
So the husbad got 首页 and found the wife preparing 晚餐 and asks her
"Honey, Whats for dinner" No reply
he moves 10 feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" No reply
so he moved 10 更多 feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" she 回复 back and says
"For the third freaking time its chicken"
Washington Post Competition asked for a two line rhyme with the most romantic first line and least romantic 秒 line.
This is the (hands down!!) winner...
'My darling,my love,my beautiful life;
Marrying 你 simply demolished my life.
I see your face when i'm dreaming;
That's why i always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and HOT;
This describes everything you're not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take the paper bag off your face.
I 爱情 your smile, your face, your eyes;
Damn,I'm good at telling lies!!!.'
This is the (hands down!!) winner...
'My darling,my love,my beautiful life;
Marrying 你 simply demolished my life.
I see your face when i'm dreaming;
That's why i always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and HOT;
This describes everything you're not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take the paper bag off your face.
I 爱情 your smile, your face, your eyes;
Damn,I'm good at telling lies!!!.'
