Bill Gates Goes to Heaven
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up 由 St. Peter.

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send 你 to Heaven 或者 Hell. After all, 你 enormously helped society 由 putting a computer in almost every 首页 in America, yet 你 also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let 你 decide where 你 want to go."

Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?"

St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let 你 visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."

"Fine, but where should I go first?"

"I'll leave that up to you."

"Okay then," 说 Bill, "Let's try Hell first."

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy 海滩 with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.

"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I really want to see heaven!"

"Fine," 说 St. Peter, and off they went.

Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with 天使 drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.

Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.

"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.

"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as 你 desire."

So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured 由 demons.

"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.

Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???

"That was a demo," replied St. Peter