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posted by x-menobsessed26
Application For Permission To 日期 My Daughter
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied 由 a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical 报道 from your physician.


Name:
日期 of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
GPA:
Social Security Number:
Driver's License Number:
Boy Scout Rank:
Telephone:
首页 Address:
City:
State:
Zip:



Do 你 have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:



Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers 或者 sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____


Do 你 own 或者 have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____


Do 你 have an earring, nose ring, 或者 belly button ring? ____


Do 你 have a tattoo? ____

If 你 have answered YES to #3, #4 或者 #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.


In fifty words 或者 less, what does Late mean to you?





In fifty words 或者 less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?





In fifty words 或者 less, what does Abstinence mean to you?





In fifty words 或者 less, what does Real Pain mean to you?





Church/Temple 你 attend: ____________________________

How often do 你 attend: ____________________________


When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________



Please fill in the blanks:


If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________


If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________


A woman's place is in the ____________________________


The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________


When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" 或者 "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised





What do 你 want to be if 你 grow up?





I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture 或者 mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________

Signature of father _____________________________________

Signature of mother ____________________________________

Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________

Signature of State Representative _________________________



Thank 你 for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. 你 will be contacted in 写作 if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.
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posted by haliethefangirl
Things I’ve learned from watching horror movies
 

• I learned that if the house 你 are living in tells 你 to “GO AWAY,” do it. Now.
• If you’re a virgin, stay that way.
• If a killer with a 刀 is chasing 你 around the house, do NOT go upstairs. Go out the front door, 你 idiot!
• For God’s sake, turn on the lights.
• Never 分裂, 拆分 up.
• Never stoop over to see if the killer is dead. He’s not.
• Never get naked in front of a window.
• Avoid the following geographical locations: Amityville, Elm Street, Crystal Lake, Transylvania, many islands, lover’s lanes, most secluded...
continue reading...
posted by Shelly_McShelly
1. Stick your palm open under the stall 墙 and ask your
neighbour, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence
with a bodily function noise

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot! My glass eye!"

6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 秒 and then drop a
cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh
relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large...
continue reading...
added by AyanoNova
Source: AyanoNova
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song
meme
kirin j callinan
alex cameron
molly lewis
jimmy barnes
powerful
ahhhhh
added by 0YouCanFly0
posted by Dreamtime
when 你 feel the dream is over...

feel the world is on your shoulders

and 你 迷失 the strength to carry on....~

even though the walls may crumble

and 你 find 你 always stumble through
remember never to surrender to the dark

Cuz if 你 turn another page
you will see that’s not the way
the story has to end
~
and if 你 need to find a way back
feel you’re on the wrong track
give it time, you’ll learn to fly

tomorrow is a new day
and 你 will find your own way :)

you’ll be stronger with each 日 that 你 cry
then you’ll learn to fly ~~

in your head, so many questions?...
the truth is your possession...
continue reading...
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This is just too funny! XD
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funny