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posted by karpach_14
He said... I don't know why 你 wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

She said...You wear briefs, don't you?

He said... Do 你 爱情 me just because my father left me a fortune?

She said...Not at all honey, I would 爱情 你 no matter who left 你 the money.

He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make 爱情 to 你 in the worst way.

She said...Well, 你 have succeeded.

He said... 你 have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have 你 ever been mistaken for a man?

She said...No, have you?

He said... Why do 你 women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?

She said...Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.

She said...Okay, but if 你 get 首页 before I do, leave the hallway light on.
posted by spunkyonyx
Agapanthus africanus
Family: Amaryllidaceae
Common names: ~Lily of the Nile~ ~Blue African Lily ~ ~African Lily~

Agapanthus originates from South Africa. The scientific name refers to the Greek word ~agape~ for ~love~ and ~anthos~ for ~ flower.~

The lily-like florets clustered on a long, thick leafless stem are available year-round in purple and white.
Agapanthus is sensitive to the presence of ethylene gas. This 花 should be kept away from naturally occurring gas, i.e. ripening fruit.

Agave americana L.
Family: Agavaceae
Common Names: ~Century Plant ~ ~West Indian Daggerlog ~ ~Rattlesnake-master~...
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posted by BeautysOverated
 :)
:)
1.    Run to the 最佳, 返回页首 of the Eiffel Tower
2.    Eat snails in France
3.    Go to Hollywood
4.    Climb the Statue of Liberty
5.    Gamble in Vegas
6.    Attend a major sporting event
7.    Attempt to catch the ball at the Superbowl
8.    Drive across America –> coast to coast
9.    Go to the pyramids in Egypt
10.    Ride a 骆驼 in the desert
11.    Climb Uluru
12.    Spend...
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posted by cute20k
Do 你 have a dirty mind?

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause 你 to spit and ask 你 not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?







A dentist

2. A finger goes in me. 你 fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?






A wedding ring

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?






Peanut butter

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. 你 blow me hard . What am I?






Chewing gum

5. All 日 long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?






An elevator

6. I...
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posted by invadercalliope
These 语录 are 语录 with differnt meanings of 鼬, 雪貂 或者 just the animal.
“If a 鼬, 雪貂 bites 你 it is nearly always your own fault.”
“To go rabbit hunting with a dead ferret"
“I'm not sure what the 查看 are. I had a private conversation and I did get a feeling ? a feeling. Well, 你 can't take a feeling to the bank. So, it's up to me to try to 鼬, 雪貂 it out.”
“I can't talk to a man who bears an undeserved animosity towards ferrets.”
“You need that U.N. inspection team in there on the ground. They're the people that can find it and 鼬, 雪貂 it out,”
“We still have a lot of work to do, and we still have to work on recovering prairie dog populations so the ferrets can survive.”
The End!
After spending hours alone and together Miki and Hei come out.Once both out she lead Hei to her personal weapon room "wow 你 own every last weapon here?" "yep and trust me its not easy hiding this big room" she shows him each one and 显示 him how to use them all.After that they both chose three weapons and fought for a vary long time (A.K.A 5 hours) Luka (Miki's twin brother)got 首页 to see that his sister on the floor laughing and giggling and with a big smile on her face "well well well who do we have here little miss 'i don't need a boyfriend' on the floor with a guy" "Luka?! so not cool...
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posted by invadercalliope
Dam dadi doo
dam dam
didoodi dam
Dam dadi doo
dam dam
didoodi dam
Dam dadi doo
dam dam
didoodi dam
Dam dadi doo dam dam
didoodi dam
*music*
When the morning
come come
I'm dancing like
you're dumb dumb
And when the groove
is high
When dummies jump
to sky
If 你 feel the groove
groove
The dummies have to
move move
Can 你 feel the beat? The beat?
The beat?
You never tell me
what is wrong
Cause now it's time to be alone
Let me 爱情 you
everyday
So long 你 let the dummies play
Dance to the
beat dance
dance to the beat
Dance to the
beat dance
dance to the beat
Dam dadi doo
dam dam
didoodidam
Dam dadi doo
dam dam
didoodidam
Dam dadi...
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posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Why not smile? 你 can always find a reason to smile, believe it 或者 not. 你 can say that your life is the worst, 你 can find a hundred reasons to prove that your life sucks, but I bet 你 anything, that if 你 let yourself search, 你 can find a thousand reasons to smile. Whether it's a person, a memory, a possession, 你 can always find something worth living for.

So many people spend their lives hating, complaining, moaning, but really, what's the point? Of course, everyone has off days, everyone gets angry, upset, annoyed, but 你 don't need to spend your whole life living like that. Everyone...
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(I EDITED THIS A LITTLE SO I COULD ADRESS SOME OTHER STEREOTYPES THAT I THINK ARE WRONG and EXTREMELY HURTFUL!!!!)

In the world of stereotypes...


I HAVE CURVES, so I MUST be a fat-ass.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm BRITISH, so I MUST talk like a butler.

I DON'T WEAR SKIRTS, so I MUST be a tom-boy.

I'm POOR, so I MUST be homeless.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I FELL IN 爱情 WITH A MAN WHILE HE WAS TAKEN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I’M EMOTIONAL, so I MUST be looking...
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posted by LadyL68
♥If you're asking if I need you,♥
♥The answer is forever♥


♥If you're asking if I'll leave you♥
♥ The answer is never♥



♥If you're asking what I value,♥
♥The answer is you♥




♥If you're asking if I 爱情 you♥
♥The answer is I do♥








☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮

















READ THIS!!! I didn't write this poem, I found it earlier today.
posted by iamagagamonster
~~ dont be offended, i 爱情 bruno mars' music, he just walked into this trap~~

** follow the beat of just the way 你 are **

oh her eyes shadow makes her look like a clown and i hate it
her hair her hair looks like spiders live in it and its weird
shes so creepy
and i tell her everyday

oh i know i know when tell her this she won't believe me
and its so its so sad that she dont see what i see
but everytime she asks me "do i look ok" i say..

when i see your face, theres that perfect thing that i would change cos look at that mustache
girl 你 need to shave

and when 你 smile, the whole world ducks and...
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I am the boy who never finished high school because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl who was kicked out of her 首页 because I confided in my mother I was a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who held her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled night.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in a hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the...
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Answer their 问题 with questions

Ask if 你 they can put 食物 color in the cheese.

Ask them to deliver it in a limo.

Ask to see a menu

Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again

Ask about 比萨, 比萨饼 maintenance and repair.

Ask for a deal available somewhere else.

Ask for the guy who took your order last time. Be sure to throw in a 评论 about his abs.

Ask if the 比萨, 比萨饼 has had its shots

Ask if the 比萨, 比萨饼 is organically grown

Ask if them for a free 日期 with one of the staff if 你 make order over $30.

Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
In Japan,people use lots of smileys 或者 emotions in their messaging.

While emoji (graphical presentations of emoticons) are probably most known, “kaomoji” (from “kao” = face, “moji” = character) are the Japanese version of Western/Eastern emoticons and there are practically endless variations available.

The biggest difference to the Western/Eastern and Japanese emotions is that they read horizontally and 你 don’t need to turn your head to understand them.

For example the Western/Eastern emoticon for “Happy” looks like this :-)/:) while the Japanese version looks like this (^_^).

Do 你 use these emotions 或者 others in your emails?

Here are some examples:

(^_^) happy

(((º Д º ;))) scared

(-´´-;) problems

(>_<) angry

(?_?) confused

(-.-)zzZ sleepy

(^ _^;) embarrassed

(^O^) very happy

(T_T) sad

(^ ε ^) 吻乐队(Kiss)
-See 更多 emotions here: link
1) wacg alote of T.V. 或者 be on the computer a long time
2) don't eat 食物 that can make 你 sleepy
3) drink a lot of soda 或者 crush
4) gety near load stuff 或者 equipment
5) kepp your lights on
6) try not to close your eyes at a late 小时
7) don't lay down
8) wach a scary movie
EX: Cucky Nightmare on elms 街, 街道 orphan
10) eat choclat and other stuff to make 你 hiper



those are some ways to stay up till midnight on New years eve.


plz writ a commet to tell me what 你 did on the list

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE EVERYONE!
posted by vlad_todd_fan
1. Dress all in thick leather so that they can't bite 或者 scratch you. 2. Carry a gun so that those bitches don't kill ya. (obviously). 3. Make sure to hook up with 老友记 that aren't zombified. 4. Carry a 刀 of some sort at ALL times. 5. Don't stay out after dark. 6. Go to huge houses nearby to party it up. 7. Don't get drunk, 你 don't know what'll happen. 8. Destroy something to let off some steam. 9. Make sure to have a back-up plan when plan A. doesn't work. 10. Get over to a 低音 Pro 商店 或者 anywhere with plenty of survival tools. 11. Go to a corny gift 商店 and destroy everything...
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posted by MrOrange16
This is a 列表 of rules for the internet I found on link. Just for laughs :)



1. Do not talk about /b/*
2. Do NOT talk about /b/*
3. We are Anonymous.
4. Anonymous is legion.
5. Anonymous does not forgive, Anonymous does not forget.
6. Anonymous can be horrible, senseless, uncaring monster.
7. Anonymous is still able to deliver.
8. There are no real rules about posting.
9. There are no real rules about moderation either — enjoy your ban.
10. If 你 enjoy any rival sites — DON'T.
11. 你 must have pictures to prove your statement.
12. Lurk moar — it's never enough.
13. Nothing is Sacred.
14. Do not argue...
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posted by Tayloraddict-1
(Big idea)



Another problem thats spreading on Fanpop. The problem is that people keep reporting people for dumb reasons. For example my friend some people reported her because she didnt agree with them and thats wrong. Like what happened to ''We are a big 潮流粉丝俱乐部 family''?. That doesnt even matter anymore does it ? Just when somebody makes 你 mad 或者 doesnt agree with your point of view 你 just 报道 them and thats just a whole bunch of bullshit. Like for real handle reporting responsibly if someone makes 你 mad keep going on with life if someone doesnt agree with your view point just accept dont 报道 thm. Because we are a big family and we dont 报道 或者 block family we care and 显示 爱情 for them and YES we all argue its natural but just to 报道 someone is taking it too far


PLZ STOP IT!!



whos w/ me?



爱情 all around
-Jordan
ME: Hi there everyone this is Solo28, also know as ''The 塔科, 炸玉米饼 Man'' and today me and my conscience will talk to each other.

CONSCIENCE: 你 are a freakin' retard.

ME: T-T Bad conscience.

CONSCIENCE: I AM NOT A FREAKIN' PET 你 FREAKIN' MORON.

ME: Shut up.

CONSCIENCE: 你 逼债, 墩 TELL ME TO SHUT UP

ME: I learned it from you, Dad, I learned it from you.

CONSCIENCE: No, stop it, stupid.

ME: Why, I just want to celebrate Ghostmas

CONSCIENCE: Ghostmas? I thought 你 picked a 日 out of a hat for that 或者 something.

ME: 糖果 日 is when I say it is 糖果 Day. It's when I say it is 糖果 Day.

CONSCIENE: It's not...
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posted by jessicamc26
"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do 你 want?" "I'm calling to 报道 my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hidingmarijuana inside his firewood." "Thank 你 very much for the call, sir." The 下一个 day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They searchthe shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, butfind no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Happy Birthday, Buddy!"
These are all true, I saw them with my own eyes. They really happened!

1. Texting with BOTH hands (did the forget they were in a car?)
2. A woman putting on make-up while driving on the freeway during rush hour! (WHY? Could it not wait? Was how 你 looked 更多 important than DRIVING?)
3. A man unwrapping and eating a full, everything on it, sandwhich while driving. (I guess he was hungry?)

If 你 think these are bizzare, it gets better.

4. Someone 阅读 the newspaper. (I guess he missed the big game?)
5. The dog was on the steering wheel. (No comment.)
6. A woman with her designer shades, bangles...
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